Beyond Dusk
by Sunray16
Summary: This is my version of Breaking Dawn as told from Edward's point of view. It is the sequel to Moonless Night and Eternal Equinox. This story is rated M because there will be some themes and material unsuitable for younger readers.
1. Chapter 1  Preparations

**This is my version of Breaking Dawn as told from Edward's point of view. It is the sequel to Moonless Night and Eternal Equinox- if you haven't had a chance to read them, please check them out!**

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 1

Preparations

"Edward, please stop fidgeting and stand still," Alice scolded. She flitted around me, her lips pursed together with an assortment of pins held between them. Standing still should be a simple task for a vampire to accomplish, but one who was mere days away from walking down the aisle, well, that's a whole other ball game.

Whether it was nerves or anticipation, I couldn't be sure, but every cell in my body was on edge. The hours were ticking down until Bella and I would be wed and the thought both thrilled and terrified me. As much as I wanted to make Bella my wife, the promise I made to her, the condition she negotiated, was an ever present concern in my mind.

Shortly after our engagement was announced, I began to make preparations for our honeymoon. Most grooms would start by making hotel and flight reservations, but my first and most important task was the conversation I had with my father. The morning after our announcement, I found myself walking through the door of my father's office at Forks Community Hospital.

Carlisle looked up from his desk. _Well, this is a surprise. _"The nurse told me I had a consultation this morning, but this is unexpected. Is everything alright?"

"Yes," I nodded as I lowered myself into the leather chair opposite his desk. "I need to talk to you about something."

Carlisle furrowed his brow. "You know you can always talk to me, but why here?"

"I wanted to speak to you in a more private setting," I replied.

_Private? _He arched an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair.

I raked my palm across my brow, unsure of how to begin. I had berated myself endlessly for even considering Bella's condition and now that it was an inevitability, I was in desperate need of guidance. I blew out a puff of air and lowered my head into my hands.

"Edward? You can talk to me."

I lifted my eyes to see Carlisle leaning forward in his chair, concern etched in his features.

"I'm not sure where to begin," I admitted.

"How about from the beginning," he smiled.

I scoffed lightly and shook my head. The best place to begin would be the fateful night when the promise was made. "Do you remember the evening before the battle with the newborns? The night I proposed to Bella?"

He nodded, leaning forward and pressing his lips to steepled fingers.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, wishing to be anywhere but here. How could I have been so stupid to make a promise I couldn't keep?

_Edward, you're worrying me._

I kept my eyes closed as I spoke. "That night, I promised Bella something that I probably shouldn't have and I need your advice."

Carlisle remained silent, but I could hear the list of questions building in his mind. If I were still human, I was certain my heart would be hammering in my chest. I lowered my head and slowly opened my eyes, preparing for the reaction my words would receive. "There are certain experiences Bella wants to have while she's still human," I began.

"That's perfectly understandable," Carlisle nodded. "Sacrifices will be made whenever she decides to become one of us. I would encourage her to take part in as many activities as she can before it's too late."

"It's not that," I shook my head. "I want her to have every human experience. I want her to stay human, but she's asked me for something that I'm not sure I can give."

"What makes you say that?" he asked, a perplexed look in his eyes.

My cheeks filled with air as I struggled to say the words. "Bella wants a honeymoon," I blurted out.

Carlisle leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with a small smile on his face. "That's customary for newlyweds. Have you decided where you want to take her?" he asked.

"It's not that." I shook my head, frustrated with my inability to communicate effectively and Carlisle's clear misunderstanding of the subtle connotation. "Bella wants a _real_ honeymoon."

His smile faltered as realization began to dawn on him. "You mean…?"

I winced and closed my eyes as I nodded in confirmation.

"Oh," he murmured, re-crossing his arms and sinking back into his chair. _Is that possible?_

"That's what I need to know."

"What's that?" he looked up. "Oh, right. Well…" He hesitated, rubbing his chin with his thumb. "Well, Son, when a man and a woman love each other…"

"I think we both know that I don't need you to explain _that_ to me," I grumbled, tapping my temple with my index finger. "I've seen more than I ever cared to."

"Right," he nodded. "What exactly did you promise her?"

"Bella's worried about the change. She's concerned that she won't feel the same afterward - that the only thought on her mind will be of blood."

"She's not wrong, you know," he interjected.

"I know that, at first, she will be preoccupied with her thirst, but over time, she will learn to cope with that part of our nature. She wants to experience intimacy with me while she's still human, while the bloodlust isn't her primary desire. But I don't know...I should have never…"

"Edward, don't punish yourself for wanting to give Bella what she asked. I've seen the way you are with her and, honestly, I don't think that this is out of the realm of possibility."

There had to be a small part of me that believed I could grant Bella her wish, otherwise I never would have agreed to the notion in the first place, but the thought still petrified me. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not saying that it will be easy, but I believe it is most certainly feasible."

"But how can I? I've seen what it does to people – they lose themselves in the act. I can't risk losing control and hurting her. I would never forgive myself."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Edward. What you're proposing is very dangerous for Bella. But, to be completely honest, I don't believe you have the capacity within you to harm her. You need to be cautious, of course, but I have faith that you and Bella are perfectly capable of consummating your marriage while she is still human."

Could Carlisle be right? Was it possible for me to love Bella in that way and not harm her? My natural instinct was to shy away from such danger, to keep a tight rein on my control. For so long I had believed that I was incapable of giving her that type of relationship while she was still human. Could I have been wrong all this time? Had I not given myself enough credit?

"Can you tell me what to expect?" I asked.

Carlisle arched an eyebrow. _I thought you said you understood the mechanics. _

"You don't need to explain the act to me, Carlisle. I'm well aware of how _that_ works, but what I've witnessed in the minds of others has been between two humans or two vampires, not a merging of the two."

He pursed his lips and nodded. "I can only speak from personal experience and observation. The sex act is powerful and not to be taken lightly. It's like nothing else and, because of its power, it should be respected and kept within the confines of a loving relationship.

"We are essentially frozen in whatever state we were at the time of our death. It is very rare for any type of change to occur, but when it does, it is profound and permanent. You already know this firsthand – you fell in love. You have made a strong emotional connection with Bella that will never be broken and it is that connection that will help you to maintain control."

"Do you really believe it's possible?" I asked.

"Absolutely," he smiled. "You and Bella are already close. You can hold her and kiss her without harming her, so you have a good understanding of how fragile she is and how careful you need to be. With the emotional intensity that comes with the act of physical love, you only need to be careful to focus and not lose yourself in the moment. I have no reason to believe that you can't fulfill her wish safely."

I leaned back in the chair, my eyes absently scanning the ceiling above. A mixture of relief and foreboding came over me as I mulled over Carlisle's words. Bella believed it was possible and it seemed that Carlisle felt the same.

"I would make a few suggestions," he interrupted my reverie. "First, and foremost, you may find it necessary to hold your breath. With the potency of the emotions, compounded by your heightened senses, it would be best to remove at least that factor of the temptation. I would also recommend feeding prior."

I nodded. "I want to take every possible precaution."

"Then I will also warn you that if Bella is chaste, she will likely experience some discomfort and there is the potential for a small amount of blood."

_Blood?_ I raked my fingers through my hair. The scent of Bella's blood has long since lost its draw on me, but I was unsure how the intensity of the moment would affect my senses. Would the scent of freshly spilled blood send me over the edge? Would I be able to maintain control?

Carlisle stood and walked around his desk, taking a seat in the chair next to mine. He placed a calming hand on my knee and waited until my eyes met his. "What else should I be concerned about?" I stammered.

"All I can recommend is preparation," he said. "You want to do everything possible to ensure that both you and Bella are comfortable. It is a delicate situation, but also remember that the first time you come together as man and wife is memory that will be etched in your collective consciousness for eternity. Preparation is important, but don't let that overshadow the blessing that such an experience can be for you both."

"Well, what do you think?" Alice asked as she stepped back to admire her work.

I gazed at my reflection, at the clean lines and classic romance that only a tuxedo could exemplify. The image of the man staring back at me embodied the confidence of the perfect groom, but it was a misleading façade that masked the disquiet I felt within my heart. I had reflected upon my conversation with Carlisle many times over the past weeks and it still did little to dispel my fears – fears of a deadline that was fast approaching.

Thankfully, my only worry regarding the honeymoon was the anticipation of the act itself. Everything else had already been arranged, courtesy of Esme. Carlisle had confided in her my fears and she generously offered the use of her island as a wedding present. The unusual nature of our relationship required the utmost discretion and Isle Esme would be the perfect setting where we could be together and be ourselves without concern for interference from the outside world.

"Edward?" Alice pressed, once again wrenching me from my thoughts.

"It's perfect," I smiled.

"Of course it is," she beamed as she brushed away a wayward piece of string from the cuff of my sleeve. "After all, it's one of a kind."

_Not half bad_. I glanced across the room at Rosalie who stood in the doorway admiring my attire, a silvery garment draped gracefully across her folded arm. I raised an eyebrow, only to receive a smirk in reply. Enough time had passed that the animosity between my sister and myself had begun to lessen and we were back to our comfortably antagonistic relationship with one another.

It was Rosalie who helped me to secure a new vehicle for Bella. One condition Bella had agreed to was that I could replace her truck upon its demise. Anxious to see her in a safer, more reliable means of transportation, I began my search shortly after the agreement had been made.

As with anything else, Rosalie offered her opinion, solicited or not, when I began researching the perfect car for Bella. I explained to her that I wanted something that would keep her safe. Granted, anything would have been an improvement over her ancient truck.

"I want something safe," I explained, "something reliable, something that will hold up well if Bella, heaven forbid, happens to be in an accident."

"With that girl's track record, you might as well get a tank," Rosalie snickered.

It was true; Bella seemed to be a bona fide danger magnet. I scanned through the images on the computer screen, unimpressed with the selection I had found.

"What would you suggest?" I asked, genuinely curious as to which vehicle Rosalie thought would be suitable for Bella's needs…and mine.

Rosalie smirked and leaned over me as she began typing on the keyboard. "Appropriate, don't you think?" she asked as she leaned back, gesturing to the screen with a satisfied smile.

The computer glowed with the image of a sleek black automobile. I read through the specifications of the car displayed on the screen - four-thousand pounds of body armor, missile-proof glass, fire-extinguishing system. I began to chuckle at the absurdity of it, but couldn't argue that if I were to obtain the safest vehicle possible, this would certainly fulfill that need. If I couldn't be there to protect her at all times, what better than a Guardian to keep her safe?

But such a car would be difficult to obtain – it was certainly reserved for foreign dignitaries and the like. I cast a skeptical glance over my shoulder.

"Do you honestly think I would propose a car that was unobtainable?" she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I can call in a few favors. It shouldn't be a problem." She raised a hand, casually tossing her hair over her shoulder as she walked from the room.

True to her word, Rosalie made a few quick phone calls and, in a week's time, I was the proud owner of a new Mercedes Guardian. Surprisingly, the car didn't sit in our garage for long. Bella's truck groaned to a halt only a few short weeks later. I had done nothing more than wish that her truck would meet its long-overdue demise, but I could not be certain that the cause was entirely natural. I had a sinking suspicion that Rosalie may have had a hand in ending the life of Bella's truck after repeatedly complaining of my pout that the shiny new car sat idle.

Bella was heartbroken the day her truck expired. Alice had alerted me to the fact that her car was stopped midway between our houses and I met her there before she even had the chance to call for a tow. I remembered so clearly the expression on her face, the frown and the way her brows knit together as she tried to determine the source of her truck's sudden collapse. She heaved a heavy sigh as she leaned her head forward on the steering wheel, still unaware of my presence. I walked to her side and reached in through the open window, gently brushing back the hair from her face.

"Oh!" she jumped, turning abruptly to face me with her hand clapped over her heart. "You scared me."

"Sorry," I grinned sheepishly. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"It just…stopped," she spoke in an uncertain tone, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"Would you like me to…" I paused, gesturing to the car's hood.

She shook her head, a frown pulling down the corners of her mouth. We had barely spoken of Jacob Black since he left. Bella felt immeasurably guilty for the part she played in his broken heart and I made no mention of my own attempt to reach out to him prior to his exodus. This truck was one of the few items that remained that tied her to him. I could still smell his lingering odor clinging to the ancient threads of the seat. For anyone but Jacob to attempt to repair this heap of sentimental scrap metal would be an affront to his memory. And to Bella, it would be an admission that he wasn't coming back.

I reached over, shifting the car into neutral, and placed Bella's hands on the steering wheel, giving her a knowing look. With little effort, I began to push, guiding the truck toward its final destination. When we came to a halt in front of her home, I reached in, lifting Bella from the truck, and wrapped her in my arms when her feet hit the ground. She buried her face in my chest and I half-expected her to begin to cry. I was surprised, instead, by what she said next.

"I guess this means I'm getting a new car," she groaned.

"A promise is a promise," I smiled, tilting up her chin with my index finger. "Would you like to see it?"

I could feel her small hands pushing gently on my chest and released her as she began to back away. Her cheeks flushed crimson and her eyes narrowed. "You did this," she whispered, accusation dripping from her words.

"I had nothing to do with this, I swear," I held up my hands in defense.

Her clenched fist quivered at her side as she ran her other hand lovingly along the truck's fender. Her nostrils flared as she worked to reign in her temper. Her eyes glistened with suppressed tears as she turned to face me. "You swear?"

I reached across the space, taking her hand in mine and bringing it to my lips, gently placing a kiss her ring finger. "I swear."

She blinked back her tears and her expression softened as she allowed me to once again pull her into my arms. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Truly, I am. I know how much you loved this truck and it lived a long, full life – longer than most would have expected. I'm sure that it was just its time to go."

"But you already bought a replacement?" she asked.

"Only in preparation. Anyone could see that your truck wouldn't last forever."

After a brief two-day period of mourning, Bella finally agreed to accept the car I had purchased. She wrung her hands nervously as she sat in the passenger seat of my Volvo on her way to meet her new vehicle. I reached over, stilling her movement and smiling reassuringly.

Alice had assured me that Bella would accept the car with grace and gratitude, but could not promise that she would be pleased with it. It wasn't the car that concerned me the most, but the black credit card emblazoned with Bella's name that was sure to set her over the edge.

For Bella's sake, I kept the fanfare to a minimum as I led her to the garage where her new Mercedes waited. She squeezed her eyes shut for the briefest moment as the door began to open and that's when I became acutely aware of the thoughts within. I cringed as the opening widened and the thoughts became reality. My entire family was all smiles, gathered around the car, and a giant red bow had been carefully placed on the roof.

"Surprise!" Emmett shouted, throwing his arms up in the air only to be met with an irritated smack in the chest from Rosalie.

"Oh," Bella gasped as her cheeks flushed. I knew very well how difficult it was for Bella to accept my gift and of her distaste when others made a fuss over her. I should have known that Alice would do something like this.

_Seriously, Edward. Give the girl a little credit_, Alice thought. _Besides, it's good practice for the wedding. She does know she'll be the center of attention on that day, right?_

I shook my head at Alice and gave Bella's hand a reassuring squeeze. "This," I said, nodding to the shiny vehicle, "is a Mercedes Guardian and it's for you."

"A Mercedes Guardian," Bella repeated, drawing out the words. She seemed to mull the idea over for a moment before she burst into a fit of laughter. The others wore matched expressions of confusion as they watched Bella double over.

She straightened up and playfully poked me in the chest. "Only you would pick a car with such a ridiculous name," she snickered. "Let me guess, it has a video camera installed so you can keep an eye on me?"

"Not a bad idea," Emmett chuckled.

"Emmett," Esme hissed.

"No," I laughed, "no surveillance equipment. But it was the safest vehicle I could find." I took both of her hands in mine and turned her to face me. "You are the most important thing to me and I want to keep you safe, when I'm with you and when I'm not."

She smiled as I pressed my lips to her forehead and led her to the driver's side door. I opened it for her and she hesitated before climbing into the plush leather interior. As Alice had predicted, she was gracious in her acceptance of the car and listened as I explained the various features. Perhaps I droned on a little too long about the finer details of the automobile's capabilities because, one by one, my family members filtered back into the house until we were left completely alone.

"It's beautiful. Thank you," she whispered as she ran her hand absently over the steering wheel.

"You like it?" I asked, wishing for the millionth time that I could read her thoughts and know exactly how she was feeling without the nuisance of having to ask.

"I do," she nodded. "It's very nice."

"I have something else for you," I said, reaching into my back pocket.

"Oh?"

I placed the shiny, black card in the palm of her hand and her eyes went wide as she read her name.

"Edward, no," she said, trying to hand the card back to me.

"Bella, please," I pleaded. "All that I have and all that I am already belongs to you. All that's left is for us to make it official. Please take it."

She hesitated, the blood rushing to the spot where her teeth clenched her bottom lip. "But…"

I reached for her hand, closing her fingers around the card in her palm. "You don't have to use it now if you want to wait until after the wedding. But I'll feel better if you keep it with you…just in case."

She blew out a puff of air. "Fine," she mumbled. "But I really wish you would have asked me first."

"Would you have said yes?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No," she shot back, "but still…"

I chuckled as I placed my hands on either side of her face and brought her lips to mine. "In just a few short weeks, I will vow to love, honor, and cherish you for eternity. We will be bound in matrimony and you will gain a legal stake in all that I have. Just think of this as my offer to share a little in advance."

In the weeks following, Bella rarely ventured out in her new Guardian – often asking if I would like to drive when we travelled together – and her sleek credit card was used even less. Each time we pulled into her drive, she would cast a forlorn glance at her dearly departed truck that sat like a faded monument in front of her father's home. It sat as a constant reminder of the one missing thread in her life's tapestry.

Not surprisingly, those glances were often followed by phone calls to Seth Clearwater. He was the one member of the wolf pack who seemed to understand the odd position Bella had been placed in and offered her more compassion than she felt she deserved. He was the only Quileute willing to offer her any information on Jacob's whereabouts or wellbeing.

I, myself, felt an unusual camaraderie with Seth. We worked well together during the battle with Victoria and I developed a deep level of respect for the young man who could see past what we are and accept who we are without question. I was proud to call him my friend and it only seemed fitting that he come as a guest to our wedding – as a friend, and perhaps more meaningful to Bella, as a representative of the lost friend she hoped would be in attendance.

_Snap. Snap._

My head shook. I have once again been ripped from my thoughts, finding myself focused on the tiny fingers snapping in front of my eyes.

_Finally! _"Where are you today?" Alice asked.

"Sorry," I shrugged, running my fingers through my hair. "I have a lot on my mind."

"Well, now that you've decided to come back to reality from wherever it was you were, I told you that I was finished and you could take off your tux."

"Thank you, Alice."

She huffed, mumbling to herself about gratitude as I began carefully removing the tie and unbuttoning the coat. Esme held a hanger in one hand and took my jacket with the other.

"You look very handsome," she smiled. "I can't believe you're getting married." _Finally._

"Sometimes I can't believe it myself," I admitted.

"It's time," she declared. "You've been on your own for far too long and it's been quite some time since we added a new member to our family. It should make for an interesting dynamic, don't you think?"

"Quite," I agreed as I stepped behind Alice's folding curtain to change out of my tux. Esme carefully gathered the garments as I draped them over the wooden frame and placed them lovingly on their respective hangers. Her mind drifted – imagining the wedding day, picturing Bella and myself laying on the beach at Isle Esme, making mental preparations for her latest renovation project. She smiled as I walked around the curtain, smoothing out the wrinkles in my pants.

_No peeking!_ Alice thought as she dashed out the door. I caught a glimpse of two garment bags tucked neatly under each of her arms as she ran past. How could I possibly peek when what I assumed was Bella's wedding dress was completely obscured from view? Alice had been very careful not to think of Bella's dress in my presence and she had been surprisingly successful at keeping it a secret. It helped that the only person who had seen the dress besides Alice was Bella and I certainly couldn't pick the design out of her mind.

I walked from the room and strode to the piano. A neat stack of sheet music lay on the piano's closed top – evidence of the preparations Rosalie had been making for the wedding. I had asked that Alice allow me to play for Bella, but she scoffed at the idea and insisted that the groom didn't need to be doing anything of the sort on his wedding day. My fingers glided over the keys effortlessly as I bided my time until I could see Bella again. Alice would have my head if I took one step toward Bella's house while she was having her final fitting.

The wooden bench creaked quietly as Esme took a seat beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. The cadence of the melody shifted until I was playing her favorite composition. She closed her eyes and began humming in tune with the piano as the music filled the room. It didn't matter what worries were weighing on my mind or what fears I had in the coming days, the music always seemed to break through those barriers and display my true feelings.

_Happiness_, Esme decided, as though she could read my thoughts. She was always the most skilled in the family at determining my mood based on the notes emanating from this room. No matter the melody, whether it be joyous or melancholy, she had an uncanny ability to evaluate the way in which I played and thus determine my state of mind. And she was right. It didn't matter that I was nervous about the approaching day or fearful of the ability to maintain control on the honeymoon, no, the overall feeling that overwhelmed my entire being was happiness.

The movement of my fingers quickened as I again changed the melody to a light concerto, closing my eyes and reveling in the sound that reverberated through the space. Carlisle appeared beside the piano, offering his hand to Esme, and they began twirling around the room in time with the music. The image conjured up long forgotten memories of the way they would dance together when they were first wed. I smiled at the recollection, imagining that in just a matter of days, Bella and I would be taking our first dance as a wedded couple – hopefully the first of many for years to come.

**A/N: Well, here we go again. I apologize for the long absence; life has thrown me a few curve balls as of late. I am excited to begin this new journey with you and eager to delve back into the complexities of Edward's mind. As always, I appreciate your readership and feedback – they are invaluable to me.**

**Special thanks to my beta, NellyBear85, for her unending support and assistance. And thanks to misticbutterfly for giving me that kick in the butt I need every once in a while.**


	2. Chapter 2  Brothers

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 2

Brothers

Slender fingers made quick work of the buttons on my shirt, skillfully unclasping them one by one. Two warm hands moved across my skin, her touch like fire, as she pushed the shirt from my icy shoulders until it fell to a heap on the floor. The combined feeling of the night air on my skin and the heat of her hands sent a wave of desire through me as I grabbed Bella around the waist and pulled her to me. Her fingers knotted in my hair as she pulled my face to hers, her soft lips molding against mine in the most delicious way.

By this time tomorrow, we would be man and wife. The event had been approaching quickly and I could scarcely believe that it was finally here. My years of loneliness, decades of being the solo member in a family of mated pairs, were finally coming to a close. I found myself vacillating between overwhelming joy and crushing terror. The time for negotiations was quickly dwindling and the moment of truth would soon be here. Would I be able to fulfill Bella's one request or would it all end in disaster? Despite Carlisle's reassurances, I couldn't shake the feeling of dread and my uneasy trust in my own self-control. Yet, all my fears seemed to melt away when Bella's lips met mine.

The smoldering heat of her skin warmed my own and I became lost in the sensation of her touch. I peppered a trail of kisses down her neck as my fingers glided along the hem of her shirt. She gasped softly as the tips of my fingers slipped just underneath the fabric and my cool touch caressed the sensitive skin of her lower back. A shiver ran through her body, quickly reminding me of the need to protect her from the chill of my skin.

She whimpered at the loss of contact as I pulled back and wrapped her in a quilt, shielding her from the cold. It was yet another facet of the honeymoon that I needed to take into consideration – I had serious doubts that she would be amused if I tried to keep a barrier of fabric between us on our wedding night. Thankfully, the conditions at Isle Esme were quite warm and ideal for our unorthodox union.

I pulled her to me, cradling her in my arms as I continued to kiss my way up her neck. The clock on the wall ticked loudly, marking the relentless passage of time. It brought me closer to my wedding day, which couldn't make me happier, but before that, I would be forced to endure the frivolous rite of passage that my brothers absolutely insisted upon – a bachelor party. I leaned my forehead against hers and let out a groan of frustration.

Her lips pressed to mine and I could feel the frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. She pulled back, meeting my eyes. "I miss you already," she said with a slight pout.

"I don't need to leave," I whispered as I nuzzled my face in her hair. "I can stay…"

"Mmm," she hummed, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I reached up, cupping her cheeks in my hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her eyelids fluttered closed as the tip of my nose skimmed the contours of her face. This is where I wanted to be. Right here with Bella, holding her, kissing her, that was my place – not with my juvenile brothers doing who knows what. I shuddered to think of what the evening had in store, but until they came to drag me away, I was perfectly content to lie here with my beloved.

Her skin flushed beneath my touch as the pads of my thumbs traced soft circles on her cheeks. I would never cease to marvel at her beauty, at the enigma that was her silent mind. I couldn't for the life of me imagine how I had been so lucky to find her, and luckier still that she chose me above all others.

Her eyelids slowly opened and our eyes met. I was locked in her gaze, drowning in chocolate depths. In her eyes I could see my future, see the possibilities of what we could be together. I memorized every detail – the subtle changes in hue, the cinnamon and hazel flecks, the faint striation that was imperceptible to human eyesight. I tried to imagine how I would feel when the color faded, when it became crimson, when it matched my own. I felt the familiar pang of guilt in my heart for even the smallest loss I would cause her when she was changed.

Breaking me from my reverie, she wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me down to her, her lips seeking my own. "Definitely staying," I murmured.

"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go." Her words told me to go, but her body contradicted her completely as she pressed herself against me.

"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

"True," she murmured as she lightly drummed her fingers on my shoulder, slowly moving them down my chest. Her feather-light touch sent a shiver through me. I pulled her tighter to me, my lips crashing to hers – perhaps it was to prevent her fingers from exploring any further or to avoid giving her the knowledge that I was indeed ticklish. True to form, Bella interpreted my actions merely as an expression of passion. Even with this understanding, the velvety feeling of her tongue as it slid across my lips caught me somewhat by surprise. As often happened in our more intimate moments, it was I who pulled away first, forcing a halt to any possible advancement.

"Wait," she protested as she tightened her grip and wrapped a leg around me in a vain attempt to keep me close. "Practice makes perfect," she smiled against my lips.

"Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we?" I teased. "Have you slept at all in the last month?"

She pushed herself up so her elbows were resting on my chest, but continued to nuzzle my neck. "But this is the dress rehearsal and we've only practiced certain scenes." She leaned back until our eyes met. "It's no time for playing safe."

_Safe._ If there was ever a time we needed to play it safe, this was it. Within the span of less than forty-eight hours, I would be testing the absolute limits of my self-control. Every moment with Bella – every caress, every kiss – was an exercise in caution. She attempted to reach her lips to mine again, but my hands clutched her delicate wrists, holding her firmly at length.

I watched a series of emotions play out on her face. "Bella…" I sighed.

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't start this again. A deal's a deal." She wriggled her wrist free, just enough to ineffectively poke me in the chest.

"I don't know," I shook my head, feeling the furrows in my brow grow deeper. "It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I – I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."

"I'll be fine," she rolled her eyes.

_Fine._ I hated that word. If the century of listening to the thoughts of others taught me anything, the word fine was never an indicator of someone's true state of being. "Bella…"

"Shh!" she pushed herself forward, silencing my uncertainties with her lips. As far as deflections went, I couldn't complain, but it did little to quell my fears. If I didn't calm myself soon, I would be a bundle of nerves when the deadline arrived. Was she not concerned at all? If I was uncertain about my promise, was it possible that she was also uncertain of hers?

"How are your feet?" I asked.

"Toasty warm," she smiled against my lips.

"Really?" I leaned back, arching an eyebrow. "No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind." Marriage was only the first step. Marriage would lead to a honeymoon which would lead to yet another promise I was loath to fulfill.

"Are you trying to ditch me?" she teased, although the subtle dissonance in her voice indicated a glimmer of uncertainty.

"Just making sure," I smiled. "I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

_Live through_. Survive. She was sure about me, but there was clearly some uncertainty about the other decision she had made. As much as I wish it weren't true, marriage is not a permanent condition. It can be dissolved, corrected, but to change her, to make her what I am – that was something that could never be reversed.

"Can you?" I asked, wishing with my last shred of hope that she would change her mind. "I don't mean the wedding – which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms – but afterward…what about Renée, what about Charlie?"

She sighed, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. "I'll miss them," she admitted.

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike." Was she certain? Did she fully understand what she would be giving up?

"I'll miss my friends, too," she frowned. A slow smile crept across her face and she touched the back of her hand to her forehead. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

My reflexive growl made her giggle as she pecked me on the cheek. Her palm cupped my cheek as she focused on my eyes. "Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

My frozen heart swelled and fractured simultaneously. What a perilous position – to detest and covet the same thing at once. "Frozen forever at eighteen," I whispered.

"Every woman's dream come true," she smirked.

"Never changing…never moving forward." I had heard the thoughts in Rosalie's mind so often that I couldn't imagine Bella willingly giving up what Rosalie so desperately wanted for herself.

Bella cocked her head to the side. "What does that mean?"

The face of the little girl in the airport came to mind and my palm tingled at the memory of her innocent touch. She had said that I would make a good father. Until Bella, I never fully understood the tragedy of our lot, the missing pieces for both Rosalie and Esme. It was the first time I mourned the fact that I could not produce a family of my own.

Bella waited patiently for me to clarify. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were…pregnant?"

"And he thought about shooting you," she chuckled. "Admit it – for one second, he honestly considered it."

She was missing my point. Had she not grasped the fact that friends and family weren't the only things she would be sacrificing in exchange for eternity? I imagined Bella with a radiant glow, resting her hand gently on her swollen belly. I could almost feel the phantom sensation of the tiny kicks a growing baby produces. To be a father, to look into my own eyes, to hold a tiny bundle in my arms. Until Bella, I never quite realized how much I wanted that.

"What, Edward?" Bella pressed.

I hesitated. "I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right."

Bella's eyes grew wide. "Gah," she gasped, a look of sheer horror on her face.

"More that there was some way he _could_ have been," I explained. "That we had that kind of potential. I _hate_ taking that away from you, too."

Her expression softened and she took my hand in hers. "I know what I'm doing," she said.

She's only eighteen, how could she possibly… "How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine." The sorrow and absolute desperation I had witnessed from Esme and Rosalie bubbled to the surface of my mind. The mothering instinct is intense and overwhelming and Bella could not fully understand that yet.

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine," she argued. "If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did – we'll adopt."

Her cavalier attitude caused my temper to flare. I hated myself for taking this away from her. I hated the fact that she had to make such a decision, such a sacrifice. Even Jacob's words swirled in my mind – "Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?" I was a monster for even considering the notion.

"It's not_ right_! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If you were human –"

Her hand clapped over my mouth and she smiled softly, unfazed by my outburst. "_You_ are my future," she spoke with conviction. "Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you _need_ a bachelor party."

"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves." I shook my head, attempting to reign myself in. Once again, I was letting my own selfish need to protect her overrule my thoughts.

"Are _your_ feet cold?" she asked.

"Not in that sense," I smirked at the dual meaning. "I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the only thing I can't wait –" My words were interrupted by Emmett's lewd thoughts. _Come on, Eddie…there's plenty of time for that on the honeymoon. Come on out or we're coming to get you!_

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I exclaimed.

"What's wrong?"

"You don't have to call my brothers," I groaned. "Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

She chuckled before wrapping her arms around my neck in a final embrace. "Have fun."

_Ready or not, here we come!_

The branches rustled noisily as Emmett ascended the tree outside her bedroom window. Bella's hands reached up to cover her ears as he scraped his nails against the glass. "If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in after him!" he taunted.

"Go," Bella laughed. "_Before_ they break my house."

I could see the scene in Bella's bedroom through Emmett's eyes. _Why, Eddie…no shirt? My, my, what have you been up to? _ I sighed, rolling my eyes before I stood and retrieved my shirt from the floor. I tried to block out the parade of images that filtered through Emmett's mind as he attempted to figure out exactly what Bella and I had been doing just before they arrived. I shot Emmett a glare, causing him to drop back down to the ground, before turning back to Bella. I leaned down, cupping her face in my palm and placing a soft kiss on her forehead, knowing that this was the last time I would see her before the wedding.

"Get to sleep," I whispered. "You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down," she smirked.

"I'll meet you at the altar."

"I'll be the one in white," she smiled.

"Very convincing," I chuckled before turning to the window, seeing Jasper and Emmett waiting below. I launched myself from the window sill, aiming straight for Emmett. He began to shift to avoid me, but I saw his decision to move just in time to adjust my course and I landed squarely on his shoulders, knocking him to the ground.

He thrust his fists forward, knocking me to the side as he uttered obscenities under his breath. Jasper stood laughing, shaking his head. I chuckled as Emmett got to his feet, shaking the blades of grass from his hair.

"Admit it, Em, you had it coming," Jasper smirked.

He huffed and crossed his arms, only causing Jasper to laugh harder.

I glanced up as Bella's voice filtered through the window. "You'd better not make him late," she whispered.

"Jasper, would you mind…?" I raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the window. He nodded, understanding perfectly that his particular gifts might be quite useful if my nervous bride-to-be had any hopes of settling down enough to get a good night's sleep.

He leapt up the side of the house, resting his elbows on the edge of her window. I could feel the tension and nervousness as he absorbed Bella's emotional state, followed by the waves of calm he began to exude. "Don't worry, Bella," he soothed. "We'll get him home in plenty of time." _Or just enough time – Alice made me promise to keep him away until the very last moment._

Jasper's shoulders relaxed as Bella's anxiety eased as a result of his influence. Yet, even though she seemed measurably calmer, there was still a slight edge of uneasiness. Through his eyes, I could see her twisting the blanket in her fingers. I understood why as soon as I heard her speak.

"Jasper?" she asked, looking shyly at her hands. "What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"

_A strip club? Now you're talking! _"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett hissed. He crossed his arms and smirked, thoroughly pleased with himself.

As I felt Jasper's power intensify to quell the disquiet that Emmett's comment had caused, I took the opportunity to once again tackle Emmett to the ground. And once again, my action was followed by Emmett's cursing and my own laughter. Jasper turned for a brief moment and shook his head before turning back to Bella.

"Relax," he said. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks, Jasper," she whispered.

Jasper joined us on the ground below and I took one last longing look at Bella's window before Jasper and Emmett both grabbed my arms and began tugging me away.

"Okay, lover boy, you'll see her tomorrow. Until then, you belong to us," Emmett snickered.

I allowed them to drag me away, knowing full well that if I didn't go willingly, Alice would appear and assist in shoving me as far away as possible. We only had to go a short distance down the road until we reached a small clearing where they had parked Emmett's Jeep.

The car moved swiftly through the darkness until we finally reached Goat Rocks, an area frequented by my brothers and myself. We made quick work as we set up the makeshift camp and set out on our hunt.

More than ever, my focus was on doing anything I could to sate my thirst, to ensure that I did everything within my power to satisfy the monster within. I supposed that there was something to be said for human bachelor parties as well. Perhaps they were also a means of satisfying an undeniable thirst, although a thirst for something much less macabre.

My need pushed me forward as my feet tore through the wilderness. Jasper and Emmett had visited a few days prior and located a sizeable den of mountain lions just for this occasion. I headed to the place in their memories, propelled by the desire to feed, by the ever present need to keep Bella safe. It wasn't long before the rhythm of thumping hearts filled my ears, the deliciously wet sound of warm, thick blood being pumped through veins.

I stopped on a cliff, seeing the family of sleeping lions below. There were four, perhaps five lions slumbering on the rocky ridge, completely unaware of the predator stalking them. I licked my lips, debating the possibility of taking them all, of gorging myself until I couldn't absorb any more. The debate was quickly over as Jasper reached my side, gazing at the bounty below.

"Your choice," he said, gesturing his hand to the buffet that awaited us.

"Emmett?" I asked.

Jasper shook his head, chuckling quietly. "He's wrestling a grizzly a few miles away."

I smiled, nodded, and leapt from my perch onto the back of the large male. The silence of the night was ripped by a fierce growl followed by snarling from the rest of the pride. I wrapped my arms around the lion's neck and heard the satisfying crunch as I twisted my wrists. He fell limp in my arms and I hugged him tight to me as I leapt to one of the branches above. The snarling grew in volume as Jasper took his own turn, taking down one of the lionesses.

I ignored the scene below as I held the creature in my arms. I could hear the beast's heart begin to slow, no longer receiving communication from the brain. Not wanting to allow the blood time to cool, I sunk my teeth into its massive neck, closing my eyes in ecstasy as the warm fluid began flowing down my throat. The warmth spread through my limbs, the lion's strength coalescing with my own. Much too soon, the vessel was empty and I flew down to take another.

The pattern continued until I had killed and consumed all but one of the creatures. Jasper stood by, arms crossed, concern etching his features. _The last time he gorged himself like this…_ Memories flashed through Jasper's mind – visions of myself when I had first met Bella, when I first returned home from Denali, determined to face my demons. It had always been an odd sensation, feeling my own fears amplified through Jasper's power, but it troubled me more tonight than it had in the past.

He eyed me warily as I sat among the pile of cooling carcasses. He knelt down, waiting until I met his gaze. "Are you alright?" he asked. I often wondered why Jasper bothered to ask others about their mood or feelings, but dismissed the notion, thinking perhaps it was his attempt to give at least the illusion of emotional privacy.

I nodded, standing to my feet. Emmett decided to arrive at that moment and his eyes grew wider as he took in the carnage before him. _Whoa! Someone was hungry._ I smiled sheepishly as I went to pick up the remains of the first lion.

"Not tonight, little brother," Emmett insisted, pushing me aside. "This is _your_ party. We'll do the clean up." I watched as my brothers worked in tandem, one clawing the soil with his fingers, creating a mass grave for our kill, and the other carrying the bodies and depositing them into the earth. Together they concealed the evidence of our actions and, to the casual observer, you would never know what had happened here tonight.

We silently made our way back to camp and I found myself leaning against a tree as Jasper stoked the fledgling fire. It crackled, sending sparks floating skyward and lighting up the small clearing. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a loaded glance as they circled the camp, busying their hands as I watched. When there was nothing left to distract them, they finally sat.

"You can stop ignoring the elephant in the room," I mumbled.

_Elephant? What elephant?_ Emmett turned around, peering through the trees.

"It's a metaphor, you idiot," Jasper chuckled.

"Yeah, I knew that," Emmett insisted, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

"Are you sure…" Jasper began.

"I'm fine," I cut him off. "Pre-wedding nerves, that's all."

"What's there to be nervous about?" Emmett laughed. "You've been planning this for what…a hundred years?"

"It's not necessarily the wedding itself that I'm worried about," I whispered.

The forest was silent for several beats. _The honeymoon_.It was Jasper who thought it as his eyes bore into mine, but it was Emmett whose voice broke the quiet.

"What…the honeymoon? What's there to worry about?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"What? It's not like….I mean…" Emmett stumbled over his words. Memories of his own honeymoon filtered through his mind and I cringed at the graphic images. I had seen more intimate moments between my adopted siblings than I ever cared to and I certainly didn't need a review. "It's not like that, right?" he asked.

"Emmett," Jasper hissed. "What happens between Edward and Bella on their honeymoon is not our business. That's between them."

"Oh, come on…what's so private about lying on beach and playing a few games of chess. What else _could _they do?" Emmet scoffed.

"I'm wondering the same thing myself," I sighed.

Jasper's eyes narrowed as Emmett's widened. "You mean?" he asked, stunned. "No way. No way! I won't believe that until I see it," he shook his head.

"Emmett," Jasper reproved.

"No, I mean …come on," Emmett argued. "This is Edward we're talking about." _The eternal virgin. _"Besides, he would never do that, not while Bella's still human."

I lowered my face into my hands. "Could you please not talk about me as though I'm not here," I mumbled against my palms.

Jasper reached across the space, placing his fingertips lightly on my arm. I could feel the calm flowing through him and my mood lifted marginally as my eyes met those of my brothers.

"You can talk to us, you know," Jasper whispered.

I gazed between the two and resigned myself to the fact that my brothers could be of some help. Carlisle and Esme had been able to provide me with some insight and wisdom, but perhaps my brothers, who were closer to my own age, could explain more than my father could. The wedding hour was fast approaching and if there was ever a time for last minute brotherly advice, this was it.

"Bella and I are going to Isle Esme for our honeymoon," I began.

They both nodded, waiting for me to continue.

"Before I asked Bella to marry me, she asked for something. You already know that she wants me to be the one to change her and that I told her I wanted to be married to her before that time came. Well…"

"Bella wanted something as well?" Jasper asked, finishing my sentence.

The corners of my mouth drooped down as I nodded.

"No way…Bella?" Emmett snickered.

Again, I nodded.

"You're telling us that Bella…sweet, innocent Bella…said she wouldn't marry you unless you promised to…to…_do it_?" Emmett's laughter grew until he was doubled over, clutching his midsection.

"Emmett!" Jasper scolded, reaching across the space to punch him in the arm. "It's not funny."

"Of course it is," Emmett smirked. "I had no idea Bella had it in her." _Little vixen._

Jasper shook his head, ignoring Emmett. "Edward, she must understand the risks."

"She does," I agreed. "I tried to explain to her the dangers, but she would not be dissuaded. She insisted that she wants to be with me…intimately…while she's still human. She's afraid that it won't be the same after she's changed."

_She's not wrong. She'll have other needs, other desires, other distractions. _"She's worried about the newborn stage, about the bloodlust?" Jasper asked.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say something before?" he asked.

I raised an eyebrow, gesturing to Emmett who continued to snicker like a juvenile. "I spoke to Carlisle just after Bella made her request. He gave me the best advice that he could."

"It's a unique situation you find yourself in, Edward. I don't envy you. Is there anything we can do to help?" Jasper asked.

As much as I wished I could keep these things from my brothers, I was beginning to feel that any advice at this point would be helpful. What could it hurt, right? The more prepared I was, the better and safer it would be for Bella.

"Can you explain to me how it was for you…what should I expect emotionally, physically?"

"Little Eddie, are you asking us for advice…about sex?" Emmett smirked. _Never thought this day would come._

"At this point, I need all the help I can get –" I sighed, " – even from you."

_Hey, what's that supposed to mean? _"Well, if you don't want my help…" Emmett huffed, crossing his arms.

"Come on, Emmett. You have teased and tormented me mercilessly for the past seventy some-odd years and you question why I would be hesitant to ask you for advice?"

Emmett rolled his eyes, but the corners of his lips slowly turned up. "Okay, fine. I'll give you that. But you gotta admit, you're an easy target. You set yourself up for…"

"Emmett!" Jasper interrupted. "Not helping."

"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly.

"I just need to know what to expect," I said. "Carlisle has given me an idea of what I would experience, but I thought it would be prudent to get more than one male's opinion on the matter."

Emmett opened his mouth to speak, but Jasper held up his hand, signaling him to stop. "To be intimate with a woman, someone you truly love, is an experience like none other," Jasper began. "It's an indescribable feeling of overwhelming love as you make this deeply intimate connection with another being. It's powerful and intense and…"

"Hot," Emmett snickered. Jasper turned to glare at him. _Well, it is!_

"As I was saying…I can't tell you from experience what it's like to be with a human, but I know from my own experience with others of our kind that the act itself it raw and powerful and, at times, uncontrollable."

"That's what I'm concerned about," I confessed. "I need to maintain control. I'm afraid of losing my focus and hurting her…killing her."

_But what a way to go_, Emmett thought.

"Understandably," Jasper nodded. "If I was trying to describe the impact or the emotional affect the sex act itself has on us, the only thing I could equate it to would be the feeling you get when you feed. And I'm not talking about animal blood, Edward. I'm talking about the absolute bliss and satisfaction you get when you give into your true nature and feed on human blood."

"It's that intense?" I asked, becoming increasingly nervous.

"Not quite, but it's close," he acknowledged.

I ran my fingers through my hair, becoming increasingly wary of the promise I had made. It was impossible. If being with Bella in that way would be as intense as Jasper was describing, there was no way I could be absolutely certain of maintaining control. What if I slipped? What if the desire for her body turned into a desire for her blood? What if…?

"Edward," Jasper soothed, sending a fresh wave of calm over me. "You shouldn't worry so much."

"But you just said," I stammered.

"I know what I said," Jasper shook his head, "but you didn't let me finish. Yes, the act is intense and yes, you will need to be very careful, but as I've said before and as you've demonstrated, the level of control you have around Bella is unparalleled. I've been around a lot longer than you and have seen a lot of things, but you are the first I have ever witnessed who displayed such a level of discipline and restraint.

"You've been close to Bella before, even tasted her blood before, and yet she is still alive and well. I firmly believe that the love you have for her is stronger than your natural instincts."

"Do you really think so?" I asked.

"Without a doubt," Jasper smiled.

"Yeah, and after the meal you just had, you shouldn't be worried at all about biting her," Emmett added.

"Emmett," I groaned, raking my palm over my face.

"Actually, he's right," Jasper agreed. "You've overfed yourself, clearly as a result of your worries, and it was probably the best thing you could do."

"And you're sure I can do this?" I asked again, still unsure of myself.

"Absolutely," he nodded.

"Need some pointers," Emmett asked, waggling his eyebrows. "I've got skills, you know." _Just ask Rosie._

"Trust me, I know…more than I care to."

We sat in silence for several moments as I attempted to process Jasper's words, trying my best to convince myself that he was right. I was as prepared as I could be, I supposed. The moment of truth would be here soon. And I never promised that I would go through with it, I promised we would try and that's the best I could hope for…to try.

**A/N: You guys are absolutely amazing! I am bowled over by the response to the first chapter. It is so good to see so many familiar "faces". Welcome to all the new readers and to those who have stuck with me for a while, welcome back! Thanks so much for the overwhelming support!**

**Special thanks to my beta, NellyBear85, who's always full of ideas and ready to help, even at 1 am. And thanks to misticbutterfly for her invaluable input and WC time. Love you gals!**


	3. Chapter 3: Fruition

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that earlier in the week disaster struck my computer and I lost almost the entire first half of this chapter. Thank you for your patience as I had to take the time to rewrite what was lost. I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

Chapter 3

Fruition

The hours ticked by at an excruciatingly slow pace. Jasper and Emmett did their best to entertain me, but all my thoughts were on Bella. My fears about the honeymoon were quickly being overshadowed by my excitement for the wedding itself. No matter how much I tried to convince my brothers that we should return early to assist in setting up for the ceremony and reception, they insisted that Alice would have my head if we returned a moment sooner than instructed.

I closed my eyes, envisioning all of the facets of the wedding that I had gathered from Alice's mind. I could construct a complete picture in my imagination of the decorations inside and out, of what the bridal party would be wearing, of the music Rosalie would play. I could envision the entire ceremony down to the tiniest detail, but the one thing that was missing, the only thing that mattered, was Bella. I conjured an image in my mind, but had no way of knowing how accurate it would be. Alice had done very well in concealing those details from me.

"Now?" I asked for what may well have been the hundredth time.

"Not yet," Jasper and Emmett chorused.

I crossed my arms and sunk lower into the chair, trying to find something I could focus my attention on. A soft beam of sunlight filtered through a nearby window, exposing the fine particles of dust that danced on the air. I fixated on a single particle, following it as it floated on the air currents, performing an aerodynamic ballet. It travelled the length of the room before finally settling on Emmett's shoulder. He didn't seem to notice.

My eyes wandered around the small space. Esme had been diligently working on her restorations and the decades of neglect were gradually beginning to disappear. I did my best to convince Esme that it was unnecessary, that Bella and I would be perfectly content to stay in the house until we transferred to New Hampshire in the fall, but she wouldn't hear it. She wanted to do this for Bella – for us. Of course, Rosalie and Alice had their share of input, but their visions for the woodland cottage were much more grandiose. Esme was focused on maintaining the structure's natural warmth and charm. It's what Bella would want.

My thumb absently ran across the shiny surface of my father's golden cufflink. I felt the minute variations in the metal where the initial of my surname had been engraved. When Alice brought our wedding attire to the cottage, it was surprising that she had forgotten such an important piece of my ensemble. I had barely opened my mouth to ask my brothers to allow me to retrieve them before Carlisle arrived holding them in his palm.

The chirping of a telephone broke the silence and I turned as Jasper was pulling his cell phone out of his pocket to read the screen. _Time to go_, he thought. I eagerly rose from the chair before he shook his head.

"Not you, Edward," he said. "It's time for me to pick up Renée and Phil."

I slumped back in the chair, dejected. Jasper left a moment later, taking my last bit of calm along with him. The tension was palpable as I wrung my hands nervously. The only thing left now standing between me and Bella, other than the not-so-thinly veiled threats from my sister, was Emmett. He could easily subdue me… if he could catch me.

"So, are you ready?" he asked.

I glanced up to meet his eyes, silently thanking him for the distraction. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life," I smiled. I could scarcely believe that in such a short time, Bella would be my wife. It was almost too good to be true.

"Are you more excited about the wedding or the _honeymoon_?" he smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"The wedding will be the happiest moment of my life. Marrying Bella is the only thing in this world that would make me feel complete. The honeymoon…," I almost choked on the word, "…makes me…nervous."

Whatever brief moment of ease I felt disappeared with the mention of the honeymoon. Emmett eyed me warily when I rose from the chair and began to pace. The space was much too small and I could feel the walls closing in on me. Every cell in my body constricted – like a rubber band stretched to its limits, I was about to snap.

I could see the shift in Emmett's mind as he became increasingly worried that I may try to make a run for it. _Oh, no you don't!_ Emmett rose quickly and crossed the room, his large frame effectively blocking the doorway. He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest.

I stopped mid-stride and ran my fingers through my hair before looking to my brother. "Emmett, I need to get out of here," I complained.

"No way, Alice said…"

"I won't go anywhere near the house. I promise," I pleaded. "I just need to get out of here, to burn off some of this nervous energy before I go mad."

His brow furrowed for a moment as he debated with himself whether or not to grant my request. After a brief deliberation, he determined that if I was deceiving him, Alice would have called to warn him of my intentions. I stepped up to him and he hesitated before stepping aside. He cringed as my fingers wrapped around the doorknob, but didn't move to stop me.

I was sprinting through the trees the moment the door was opened. The crisp air filled my lungs, refreshing my senses and melting away my restlessness. I ran at full tilt, allowing my taut muscles to stretch, to release the pressure that had been building up. The forest was relatively silent, with the exception of the pounding steps of my brother who followed closely behind.

I ran for miles and miles without slowing, my nerves dissipating with each step. I was careful not to travel too far and to take care not to soil my wedding attire. Alice would be sore with me if I got even the hint of grime of my freshly pressed tuxedo. We travelled in an arc until we finally came to a stop in my one respite from the outside world. I stood in the middle of the meadow, closing my eyes and lifting my face to the sun, basking in its warmth.

_Wow, _Emmett thought. _This must be where he disappears to when Bella's not around._

With the exception of Bella, I had kept the location of my solitude a secret. It was my safe haven, the one place I could seclude myself without worrying about interference from my family. It would only be fitting that a place that meant so much to Bella and to me would have a place in our wedding as well. I bent down, running my hands over the soft petals of the wildflowers that grew there. I plucked two pale lavender blossoms and tucked them gently among the rose and freesia in my lapel.

I stood up when the sound of paws softly padding the earth reached my ears. A small, sandy wolf emerged from the tree line and Emmett instinctively crouched in a defensive posture. I placed my hand on his chest to block his way and gave him a knowing look.

"Hello, Seth," I spoke over my shoulder. The tension in Emmett's shoulders subsided.

_Hey, Edward. Shouldn't you be getting ready for a wedding?_ the wolf thought.

"I could say the same thing to you," I smirked.

Something between a bark and a cough emanated from Seth's throat – what I assumed was a laugh. _I'm on my way back. Mom and I have to pick up Billy on the way. I was running and caught your scent._

"Is anything wrong?" I asked, curious why Seth would seek me out now when he would be seeing me at the wedding in less than an hour.

He shook his head and disappeared behind a large hemlock. A moment later, he came jogging toward us. "I wanted to tell you the news," he said.

"News?" I asked.

"It's Jacob. He's coming back."

"Really?"

Seth nodded in confirmation. "We've been pestering him for weeks and he knew that Bella was checking up on him. I guess his conscience finally got the better of him – he decided that even if he didn't get the girl, he couldn't disappoint his best friend on her wedding day by not showing up."

Jacob was coming back. My lips curved upward in a smile as I thought of how Bella would react to his arrival. She had missed him terribly and the one thing that would make this day complete for her was to be able to share it with her best friend. I had thought that reaching out to Jacob had been a lost cause, but perhaps not.

"Don't tell her," Seth warned. "You'll spoil the surprise. I already know I'm going to get an earful for telling you."

"I won't say a word," I vowed. "Is he already here?"

Seth shook his head. "He's still a couple hundred miles out, but he's running as fast as he can. He should make it in time for the reception at least."

"Nothing like waiting until the last minute," Emmett scoffed. _Fashionably late?_

"I'm sure the decision to come wasn't an easy one for him," I chided. "I can only imagine how I would feel if I were in his shoes."

_Yeah, you're right._ Emmett shrugged and lowered his head, kicking a stone with his foot.

"I better get going," Seth said, gesturing to the trees. "Mom's waiting for me."

"I'll see you soon. Thank you for letting me know."

"Anytime," he smiled before turning and running to the trees. The sound of two footsteps pounding the earth quickly turned to four before disappearing completely and Emmett and I were once again left alone.

I resumed my previous posture, bending low to the ground and picking another wildflower. I slowly plucked each petal from the stem, trying to busy my hands while I waited. Emmett paced in circles, checking his watch at regular intervals. I watched him curiously as he now seemed to be more nervous than I had been. Finally, he threw his hands in the air and sighed loudly. "I can't stand waiting around here anymore. Let's just go."

Was he serious? Was I finally going to be released from my brother's hold to go back to my bride? My head snapped up and I began running before he could say another word.

_Oh no, now I've done it_, he thought as he attempted to chase me down. But I was much too fast for him. _Edward, please, you're going to get me in trouble. Just promise not to go into the house. Please._ His thoughts pleaded with me and soon he was shouting as well.

"Fine, Emmett," I relented, slowing a bit so he could catch up to me.

He smacked my shoulder as he jogged to my side. "Don't do that to me," he huffed. "I'll be in enough trouble just for letting you go back this early – don't make it worse by going anywhere you're not supposed to."

We continued at a leisurely pace – as leisurely as I could manage given my level of anticipation. The house gradually came into view, a gauzy, white tent billowing gently in the breeze. Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie were busying themselves with final details. Judging by the thoughts in the house, none of the guests had arrived yet.

_Mine! _Emmett had seen Rosalie in her silver gown and bolted past me. She was adjusting a centerpiece as he gripped her small waist and spun her to face him, firmly planting a kiss on her lips.

_Not the makeup!_ She struggled against him, pushing him away with an irritated glare. "Put me down!" she shrieked.

"Aw, come on, Babe," he whined as he set her down.

"Don't 'Babe' me," she fumed. "Now I'm going to have to reapply my lipstick. And what is _he_ doing back here? You know Alice is going to have a fit."

Emmett rubbed the back of his neck. "It's close enough, isn't it?"

"How should I know? Alice is the one running the show."

Emmett glanced warily back at me and I shrugged in reply. I didn't understand why it mattered when I arrived. Unless no one saw Bella before her walk down the aisle, I would catch at least a glimpse of her through someone's thoughts before she made her debut. As it was, Alice must already be aware of my early arrival because her thoughts were on everything but Bella.

"Esme," Rosalie called. "You better give these boys something to keep them occupied."

Esme flitted to my side and placed her palm on my cheek, smiling up at me. _My son – so handsome._ "You look like the perfect groom," she smiled. "And I'm glad you're here. You and Emmett can help me set up the rest of the chairs for the reception."

She pointed us to a stack of white folding chairs as Rosalie made her way to the house. I focused little attention on the task at hand and more on the thoughts of my sister. I watched as she sprinted up the steps to her room to freshen her makeup. As she replaced a lock of hair that had fallen out of place, she made her way down the hall until she was face to face with Alice.

"They're back," she said.

Alice maneuvered her body to shield Bella from Rosalie's view and her answering look was furious, even though she was already mindful of my presence. "Keep him out of here!" _And stay out of our thoughts Edward – don't think I don't know what you're up to!_

Rosalie was careful to avoid looking at Bella directly. Her gaze was focused on her mahogany tresses, but there was no view of her face or of her attire. I groaned in frustration and Emmett cocked an eyebrow at my odd display. My sisters continued to thwart my attempts to take a peek at my bride and I resolved myself to wait until her parents arrived. There was nothing Alice could do to keep me from seeing then.

Emmett and I were setting the last chairs in place when Alice bolted out the door. She ran right up to me and pounded my chest with her tiny fist. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," she hissed. "You are not supposed to see your bride until she walks down the aisle. I know what you're doing and you need to stop it. It's bad luck, remember?"

I chuckled nervously. "I haven't seen a thing, Alice."

"I know that," she rolled her eyes, "but that's only because we've been very careful. And you…" she spun to face Emmett, "…you were supposed to keep him away. I specifically said that he was to arrive just as the music started. Not a moment before!"

"I…um…." Emmett stammered.

"Oh, never mind. Just keep him occupied, will you?" she sighed in frustration, turning to go back into the house. She hesitated briefly at the door and I had to laugh at the vision I saw through her mind.

_Oh no…no, no, no. _She gripped the door frame and turned to face Emmett. "Emmett, you stay away from that car. If I see so much as a can of shaving cream, so help me…"

_Man! _"What?" Emmett shrugged, feigning ignorance, but he couldn't fool Alice.

She narrowed her eyes until the vision disappeared. She smiled sweetly and turned back into the house. I glanced over at Emmett and began to laugh. "If it's any consolation, I thought I was funny," I offered.

His face broke out into a grin. "Well, at least_ you_ got to see it."

"However funny it was, I doubt Bella would have found it quite so amusing."

The sounds of car doors and thumping heartbeats signaled the arrival of our first guests. Esme ran to the front of the house to greet them as I lowered myself into one of the folding chairs. Carlisle walked up and took a seat beside me, patting me on the knee.

"Today's the day," he smiled.

"Yes, it is," I nodded, attempting to reign in my excitement.

"I'm happy for you, Son," he said. "Bella's a wonderful girl and I can't tell you how excited your mother and I are to welcome her into the family."

I nodded in agreement as he continued.

"It's a shame that your real parents couldn't be here today, but I'm honored to stand by you in your father's stead. And, as it's customary for the father of the groom to impart some wisdom, I have a few words of advice."

"Advice?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Just because you've seen and heard everything through your ability doesn't mean you'll remember it when it's needed. There are just few things that I would like to impart – small kernels of knowledge that will help you to foster a healthy and loving marriage."

"Did you give this same speech to Emmett?" I smirked.

"Of course," he grinned, "although it was slightly modified."

I waved a hand and nodded, gesturing for him to continue.

"The best advice I can give to you is to tell you that life is about learning. Most men forget the advice they're given, but rather learn through their mistakes. And you, son, are no exception," he chuckled. A fleeting parade of memories floated briefly through his mind, some of them were not my finest moments.

"The key is not to allow the difficulties in life to distract you. Every day, remind yourself of what's really important, of the love you share with Bella, because at the end of the day, that's all you have and that's all that matters."

"That's actually really good advice," I smiled.

"I know that this life has been difficult, but I can't tell you how pleased I am to see that you've found your place, that you've found some happiness. Remember that feeling and keep it with you always." He reached over, taking my hand in his and smiled warmly.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

We sat in silence for a moment as I mulled over his words. I knew, almost from the moment I saw her, that I would love Bella for the rest of my existence. We had been through so much, struggled against insurmountable odds, fought to be together, that our small piece of happiness was well earned. The road to this moment had been so long and treacherous that I could scarcely believe it had finally arrived.

"Ready?" Carlisle asked, breaking me from my reverie.

_Ready?_ Was it time already? As eager as I was before, I hesitated now, feeling the fluttering of nerves in the pit of my stomach. I nodded and stood slowly, weak in the knees. Carlisle cocked his head to the side, curiously studying my shift in demeanor before smiling warmly.

"Happens to all of us," he smiled. "The reality of what you're about to do has finally hit you."

"I guess so," I stammered, surprised by this unexpected sensation. I had been so sure, so confident, but now with the realization that in just mere moments, Bella and I would be wed, I was overcome by emotion, overwhelmed by it all. I wondered to myself if Bella felt the same.

I followed Carlisle into the house which must have filled with guests during our conversation. The chattering of voices and the thrumming of numerous hearts filled my ears. As I walked through the door, I was overcome by the aroma emanating from the house.

When first encountering Bella, I had tried to explain to Alice the way her blood smelled to me – the seductive combination of olfactory properties that gave Bella her enticing and completely unique perfume. I was momentarily taken aback. Alice had attempted to reproduce that distinctive combination of scents, giving each one of our guests, including Bella herself, the opportunity to partake in her glorious bouquet. Orange blossoms, lilacs, freesia, and roses combined perfectly. The only thing missing was the faint aroma of strawberries from Bella's preferred shampoo.

The living room had been completely transformed into a fantasy in white. Flowers and ribbons cascaded down the staircase and decorated every available surface. Soft billows of silk and tulle created an ethereal aura, as though we were getting married in the heavens themselves. Rosalie sat at my piano, statuesque in her silver gown, her fingers flying over the keys as she played a beautifully complicated melody.

Mr. Weber stood under a canopy of silk and blossoms, his Bible in hand as he prepared to perform the ceremony. My fists clenched and unclenched anxiously as I tried to take those last few steps to take my place.

_There he is._ Esme crossed the room to stand in front of me, both her hands cupping my cheeks as she stared into my eyes. Her bottom lip quivered faintly and the corners of her eyes pinched, awaiting tears of joy that she could not shed. _It's time_, she thought. I placed my hand over one of hers and brought it to my lips, gently kissing her knuckles, and she smiled softly.

Esme was the quintessential mother of the groom and, to be quite honest, I couldn't remember her becoming quite so emotional when Rosalie and Emmett were married. If I couldn't see into her mind, I would have thought her outpouring of emotion was a sign of relief that I had finally found happiness after all these years. Esme loved all of her adoptive children deeply, but I was her first. I was the one who filled the gaping hole left by the loss of her newborn son. And today was the day that her son would be married.

Esme squeezed my hand before turning to take her seat. Carlisle stood beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder and guided me to my place next to the minister. I could feel the eyes of the guests on me as I stood under the canopy of white. I rubbed my hands together, unable to relieve the tension in my fingers. My stomach was turning flips and my mind was so unfocused that the usual stream of thoughts was merely a low buzzing in my consciousness. I took a deep breath in an attempt to steady myself and was relieved beyond measure when I felt a blanket of calm settle over me. I glanced across the room to see Jasper who bowed slightly. I imagined he was doing double duty today.

The music shifted and the dulcet tones of Pachelbel Canon in D filled the room. Given the new sense of serenity, thanks to my talented brother, I could focus more easily on the thoughts and sounds around me. Carlise, who proudly stood beside me as my best man, hummed quietly along with the music. Renée sniffled lightly and dabbed her eyes as her husband lovingly rubbed her shoulder. My attention gradually shifted up the stairs to where I supposed Bella would be. Alice was still effectively blocking me, but I was able to catch brief glimpses through Charlie's thoughts.

The Pachelbel piece concluded and my breath caught in my throat as Rosalie began playing Wagner's traditional wedding march. The room full of family and friends stood at that moment and faced the staircase.

"Bells, we're up to bat," I heard Charlie say. I swallowed reflexively, attempting to relieve the lump that was forming in my throat. If my heart still beat, it would be thumping out of my chest at this moment.

"It's my turn," Alice said. "Count to five and follow me." I heard Alice's lithe steps as she began her descent down the staircase. As she rounded the corner, her eyes found mine and she gave me a knowing smile. _You're going to be so surprised_, she thought. And she was right. Alice had done the impossible. She had prepared my bride and, through careful concentration and distraction, she had managed to keep me from seeing a clear picture of Bella before this moment.

The music came to a crescendo and I finally heard the voice of my bride. "Don't let me fall, Dad," she said. I held my breath as I waited to catch my first glimpse of Bella. My bride, in a gown of white satin, gradually appeared and had my heart been beating as furiously as it should be, at that moment, it would have stopped completely. Bella's eyes were downcast, no doubt watching her footing as she descended the stairs. Every eye in the room was on her and the same word was in their collective minds. _Beautiful._

The satin gown delicately hugged her graceful curves. Her hair was an intricate pattern of braids ornamented by a sheer veil and sapphire accented hair combs. She gripped Charlie's arm tightly as he led her toward me and the bouquet quivered in her other hand. Carlisle reached up beside me to grip my shoulder and I hazarded a glance at Esme, who had literally gasped at the sight of Bella in her wedding gown.

When they reached the landing, Bella's eyes flitted around the room as she witnessed Alice's creation for the first time. She looked out at the sea of smiling faces and her entire body flushed a radiant hue. I held my breath as I watched her, waiting for the moment when our eyes would meet. And then it happened. Her gaze lifted and the air crackled with electricity as we gazed at each other. The world stood still in that moment. The butterflies that had been fluttering furiously in my stomach came to an abrupt halt, stunned into silence. Everything melted away until the only thing left was us. She was breathtaking.

Bella's eyes widened and her breath caught. Her heart began to beat furiously and she teetered briefly as her steps quickened, moving to a tempo much too quick for the music. After all the negotiations, after the promises and compromises and uncertainties about our engagement, it was clear in this moment that she couldn't wait to get married. And I couldn't contain the smile that spread across my face.

Charlie grimaced faintly as he struggled to hold Bella back. My eyes met his briefly and, in the span of a mere second, I saw the heart of a man who was giving away his only daughter. Memories filtered through his mind like a movie reel – the image of a little girl with mahogany curls, running toward her father and squeezing him tightly, an adolescent Bella hugging her father awkwardly as he picked her up at the airport, a distraught Bella cradled in her father's arms as she cried over her lost love. And the final image, the one that caused the beginnings of tears to prick the corners of his eyes, was seeing his baby girl no longer running into her daddy's arms, but into the arms of another man – into mine.

Bella's smile grew wider the closer we came together and, when we finally met at the altar, Charlie took his daughter's hand and placed it into mine. He held our hands together between his for a brief moment, swallowing the sob that threatened to escape. Then he leaned in to kiss his only daughter on the cheek before taking his seat.

Bella stepped up beside me and we stood together, side by side, as we prepared to take our vows. I plucked one of the lavender wildflowers from my lapel and carefully placed it in her hair. Mr. Weber smiled warmly as he gave his opening remarks, speaking briefly about the blessing of true love and the significance of the vows we were about to take.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" he asked.

"Her mother and I," Charlie managed, his voice thick with emotion.

Rosalie played gently in the background as the vows were read. Bella's eyes glistened as she recognized the piece – the one that I had wished to play myself – her lullaby. As the words were read, words I had heard so many times and taken for granted, they struck me more powerfully than they ever had before. I had imagined this moment so many times, played it out in explicit detail, but none of my daydreams had adequately prepared me for the magnitude of emotion I felt standing at the altar with Bella by my side.

Standing before me was the one person in all the world who truly knew me. Bella saw me for what I was and loved me in spite of it. She was my match, my soul mate, and in this moment, before family and friends, we were binding ourselves to one another "as long as we both shall live."

Bella's lip quivered as Mr. Weber read the vows and a lone tear cascaded down her cheek, followed by another. I could scarcely understand her when she said the words, "I do." I gripped her hands in mine, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with my thumb as my own vows were read. She gave me a watery smile when I spoke my own pledge. "I do."

Her hands trembled as she placed the band of gold on my left ring finger and slid it in place. In turn, I placed the slender golden ring on her finger, the wedding band engraved with the simple yet poignant inscription. _Forever_.

I could barely contain my excitement when Mr. Weber gave the final declaration, giving me permission to kiss my bride. _My wife_. She smiled up at me as I reached for her. I cradled her face in my hands and leaned in to kiss her. She responded by throwing both of her arms around my neck and hugging herself to me, firmly planting her lips to mine. What I had intended to be a tender kiss from a husband to his new wife became a lesson in passion and restraint. I could feel Bella pouring out her emotions, demonstrating to me and to the rest of the world how truly happy she was to be my wife. I gripped her waist, gently nudging her away. I chuckled against her lips and leaned my forehead to hers when she finally broke the kiss.

"I love you," she whispered.

"And I love you," I replied, placing one last chaste kiss on her lips before turning to face the cheering crowd.

**A/N: And we all say a collective….awwwww. I'll let you use your imaginations to figure out what Emmett had planned for the getaway car. Thank you all so much for your continued support of this story.**

**Special thanks to my beta, NellyBear85, for all her ideas and encouragement. And thanks to misticbutterfly for helping me hash some things out and for keeping me on task when my mind starts to wander.**


	4. Chapter 4: Reception

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 4

Reception

Bella's smile was radiant, matching my own, as we were pulled into the arms of our family and friends. Esme choked back a sob as she buried her face in my neck and Carlisle smiled warmly as he wrapped his arms around his wife, gently pulling her away while Phil tried to do the same with Renée as she clung to Bella.

Emmett was next, barreling through the crowd to embrace us both in his impressive arm-span. "Welcome to the family, little sis," he bellowed. Bella blushed and reached up on her toes to kiss him lightly on the cheek. Her blush deepened when Rosalie appeared at Emmett's side.

Rosalie looked between us both, a small smile on her face. As usual, her thoughts were warring with one another – glad to have Bella as a member of our family because she brought me such happiness, but still adamantly opposed to what that would mean for Bella's mortality.

Bella reached for her father as he stood awkwardly awaiting his turn. _My baby girl_, he thought as he wrapped his arms around her waist and fought back his tears. He released her, standing straight, and offered his hand to me. I smiled and shook his hand as he cleared his throat. "You take care of my baby," he warned in a gruff voice.

"I promise," I replied.

He nodded and briefly lifted his palm to cradle Bella's cheek before managing a tight smile and backing away to allow others their turn to congratulate us.

Alice and Jasper were next as Alice nearly tackled us to the floor in her excitement while Jasper stood calmly at her side. "I can't believe we're really sisters now!" Alice squealed. _That means more time to shop, more time to travel, more time to…_

"It's good to see you so happy," Jasper smiled at me as he reached for Bella's hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed her gently on the knuckles. "It's about time he settled down," he winked, eliciting a small laugh from Bella.

The parade of well-wishers continued as we gradually made our way to the reception. The last rays of sunlight were slipping below the horizon as we stepped over the threshold into the back yard. Bella's eyes grew wide as she took in the fantasy that Alice had created. Her eyes glimmered with the reflection of the thousands of tiny lights that created an intricate canopy above us. The scent of the flowers was as intoxicating outside as it had been inside the house. The wind blew softly and the gauzy tent rustled lightly in the breeze.

Bella squeezed my hand tightly as I led her toward the waiting crowd, but I had never seen her more confidant, more at ease. Marriage, it seemed, agreed with her quite well. And apparently, I wasn't the only one who couldn't take my eyes off of her. My mind filled with the thoughts of the guests, some admiring her beauty, some admiring mine. And they all wondered, myself included, how I had been so lucky to secure her hand.

"Congrats, guys," Seth exclaimed as he made his way toward us, followed closely by his mother, Sue Clearwater, and Jacob's father, Billy Black. Sue blanched, her carefully composed features shifting infinitesimally as Seth reached out with both arms to embrace me. "It's good to see things work out for you, man. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Seth," I nodded. "That means a lot to me." And it did. Of all the unlikely pairings, my closest friend at this event who was not a vampire or my bride, happened to be a werewolf. I could only hope that Seth's ability to see past what I am would rub off on the other members of the pack. There would come a time very soon when that friendship would be the most important thing – possibly the only thing to protect us when the time came for me to make good on my promise to Bella and grant her immortality.

I turned to Billy and Sue as I released Seth from our embrace. "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome," Billy nodded. _It's the least we could do after what you did for my son, what you did for me. _It seemed that Seth wasn't the only Quileute who was beginning to have a change of heart in regard to my family. It was with the help of Carlisle and myself that Jacob was mended after the battle with the newborns. And it appeared that Billy was also crediting me for his son's impending return home. It may have been my decision to send the wedding invitation that prompted his departure, but Billy believed it was my handwritten plea that he attend for Bella's sake that brought him back.

Seth smiled and waved as they stepped aside to make way for the next well-wishers. Angela ran up to Bella and hugged her tightly as Ben reached out to shake my hand. "I'm so happy for you both," Angela smiled. _I always knew you would be together. Anyone could see it was meant to be. _"You look radiant, Bella."

Bella blushed furiously and gave Angela a small smile in thanks. "I'm really glad you could be here," she said. "It means a lot to me."

"Let's plan to have dinner out when you get back from the honeymoon," Ben suggested and Angela nodded emphatically in agreement.

"Of course," Bella replied, managing a tight smile as her grip on my fingers tightened before she released them to embrace Angela once more. I placed my arm around Bella's shoulder when she returned to my side. She shuddered lightly as she struggled to maintain her composure. I leaned in, placing a light kiss on her temple. The joy of the occasion was momentarily marred by the reminder that this may be the last time Bella would see her friends and family. Bella, on more than one occasion, had mentioned the fact that she had anticipated that the wedding would be a means to say farewell to her human life.

We shook hands briefly with Mr. Weber and his wife before Mike and Jessica came to greet us. "Oh, Bella," Jessica gushed. "The ceremony was beautiful and this dress…wow!" _What a lucky girl. Who would have thought the new girl would be the one to snag the Edward Cullen. Wonder what the rush was. I bet she's pregnant…_

"Thank you," Bella replied as she reached out to hug Jessica. Mike stood beside Jessica, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and I narrowed my eyes at him as I listened to his thoughts – still as covetous as ever, even though she was a married woman now. He reached to shake my hand, but refused to look me straight in the eye.

What a pair these two were. They were together, but apparently they both wanted someone that they couldn't have. I, for one, wouldn't feel any sadness when Mike Newton was no longer in our lives.

_Incoming_, Alice thought, causing me to look over Mike's shoulder to see who would be next to approach. I caught a glimpse of strawberry curls and winced slightly as I realized that Bella would now be meeting Tanya for the first time. I could only hope that Tanya would behave.

As Mike and Jessica stepped aside, I heard a sharp intake of breath from my right. _There he is. _Tanya walked up to me with open arms and squeezed me tightly as I listened for Bella to begin breathing again.

"Ah, Edward," Tanya spoke in my ear. "I've missed you." _Why didn't you ever visit? I could have kept you entertained._

I carefully shrugged out of her arms and returned to my place beside Bella. "It's been too long, Tanya," I smiled. "You look well."

"So do you," she smirked. _You always do._

I suppressed the desire to roll my eyes at Tanya's persistent advances. Perhaps I should introduce her to Newton – they seemed to have something in common. I placed my hand on the small of Bella's back, rubbing small circles with my thumb. "Let me introduce you to my wife."

Light laughter followed my introduction, but I didn't miss the way Tanya's eyes tightened at my words. "Tanya, this is my Bella."

_Your Bella, huh? I suppose she's pretty…for a human. I still don't understand the fascination. _Bella reached tentatively to shake Tanya's offered hand. "Welcome to the family, Bella," Tanya forced a tight smile. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am_ sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?" She was speaking to Bella, but her eyes briefly flitted to mine. _Can you forgive me?_

The fact that Irina had not accompanied our extended family members was not lost on me. Forgiveness was ours to give, but forgiveness is a two way street. I wondered how long it would take Irina to forgive us for the part we played in preventing her plot for revenge.

"Of course," Bella stammered. "It's so nice to meet you."

_Indeed. Such a shame – we could have been great together, you know. _"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" Tanya turned to grin at her sister.

"Keep the dream alive," Kate rolled her eyes in response as she reached out to take Bella's hand. "Welcome, Bella," she smiled.

_It warms my heart to finally see him mated._

_ She's the one he wants._

_ There's something different about this one._

The thoughts of my extended family rushed together as they converged on Bella, all surrounding her at once. If I weren't standing at her side, she might think this display from a group of unfamiliar vampires was quite intimidating.

"I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar," Carmen introduced herself as she took Bella's other hand from mine. She smiled warmly, her eyes flitting from Bella's to mine. _It's about time,_ she thought. "We are all so very pleased to finally meet you."

"M-me, too," Bella sputtered as her wary gaze flitted briefly back at me. I pressed my palm flat against the small of her back in an attempt to bolster and reassure her. She had nothing to fear from our friends from the North, even taking into account the avaricious thoughts coming from Tanya.

"We'll get to know each other later," Tanya smiled sweetly. _Count on it. _ "We'll have _eons _of time for that!" Bella smiled tentatively as our friends from Denali left us and made their way to Carlisle and Esme.

The parade of well wishers continued until Alice was practically dragging us to the table where a tiered masterpiece of flour and sugar stood. _Don't forget you have a plane to catch…wouldn't want to get behind schedule! _Bella stared in awe at the intricate floral patterns and scrollwork that adorned the cake. It truly was a thing of beauty, but nothing could compare to the splendor of the bride standing at my side.

Bella reached for the knife, as Alice instructed, and I placed one hand over hers while wrapping the other around her waist. I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Say cheese." She laughed lightly as Alice and Renée flitted around us, taking picture after picture.

Bella placed a sliver of cake on the plate provided and eyed me skeptically as she held it up. I reached, breaking off a small morsel of cake and held it up to show her. I hesitated for a moment, intrigued by the number of guests who either expected me to shove the cake in her face or encouraged it. Emmett was practically vibrating with excitement as he waited to see what I would do. She narrowed her eyes in warning and I smiled brightly as I drew my fingers closer to her face.

My eyebrows lifted in expectation and her lips parted, allowing me, like a gentleman, to place the bit of cake on her tongue. She smiled as she chewed and reached for her own bite to offer me. I opened my mouth wide and she eyed me skeptically as she fed me the small bite of cake. I closed my mouth and smiled as best I could. The morsel sat on my tongue, an unwelcome object that my body could not identify as sustenance. I could feel the smoothness of the icing and the spongy texture of cake. I knew what it should taste like from the minds of those around me, but I may as well have been chewing on a clump of moss. The bite began to break apart as I chewed, tiny crumbs falling to the back of my parched throat as the sensation to cough to remove it increased. I swallowed quickly, forcing myself not to grimace as my family members tried to hide their own disgust. Even Alice quivered delicately as she watched me swallow the small bite of cake.

Bella's eyes widened and, for a moment, she looked genuinely concerned for my discomfort. I smiled widely and leaned in to whisper again. "O ye of little faith."

She quirked an eyebrow at me as Alice began to gather the single women for the traditional tossing of the bouquet. _Oh, this will be so much fun_, she thought as she herded the women to the middle of the dance floor. Rosalie appeared at Bella's side, handing her a bouquet that was equally as exquisite as the one she carried down the aisle, but I could tell by the slightest variations that this was not the original. Esme was likely already taking steps to preserve that one.

Bella took the bouquet, her hands trembling under the weight of it. Alice danced over and hooked arms with Bella, leading her to the waiting crowd of giggling girls. The boys were already placing bets on who would catch the bouquet, but Alice had narrowed down the possibilities significantly depending on the angle at which Bella decided to throw.

"Ready?" Alice asked.

"I…guess so," Bella stammered, glancing over her shoulder at those eagerly waiting.

"Just throw your hand behind you and let go!" Alice encouraged.

Bella closed her eyes briefly and took a deep, steadying breath. Her arm swung back behind her and then forward, tossing the bouquet over her shoulder and sending it flying over the group of outstretched arms. A smattering of petals floated down as the bouquet travelled through the air before landing into the astonished hands of Angela Weber.

_I caught it? I can't believe it._

_ How did she catch it, she wasn't even trying._

_ Guess she's the next to get married…wonder how Ben feels about that._

As the girls converged on Angela, voicing their congratulations, I caught a glimpse of Emmett out of the corner of my eye begrudgingly handing a folded bill over to a grinning Jasper.

"Time to toss the garter," Alice sang as she grabbed my arm and pulled me back over to Bella's side.

"But I thought you wanted it back," Bella protested.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Alice smirked. "I'll track down the guy that catches it."

"But…" Bella continued, her heart rate beginning to escalate as a slow burn crept up her cheeks.

"Nope, no buts," Alice raised a finger. "It's tradition." Emmett and Jasper had already begun gathering the single men into a group.

Bella stood in place, shifting uneasily. I took her hand in mine and rubbed it reassuringly. And then it happened. The unforgettable melody of David Rose's 'The Stripper' began to blare and Bella's cheeks exploded with color as all eyes fell on us. She bit her lip and her eyes grew wide as she looked to me.

I smiled crookedly at her as I lowered myself to the ground and gripped the hem of her dress. Her knees were shaking and I reached a hand around her ankle in an effort to stabilize her.

_It's on her right leg, Edward_, Alice instructed.

The laughter and catcalls began as I ducked under her skirt and carefully gripped the lacy garter with my teeth. Bella's nervous shifting had caused the garter to fall about mid-calf. _Naughty girl._ I slowly ran my cool fingers up the outside of Bella's thigh just before I lifted her foot to remove the garter and she yelped in response, eliciting another burst of laughter from the onlookers.

She narrowed her eyes at me as I stood up beside her. I scanned the crowd of eagerly awaiting bachelors until my eyes fell on Mike Newton. Mike, who was still wishing Bella had given him the time of day before she married me, stood nervously in the center of the group.

_Edward, be nice,_ Alice warned, already seeing my intentions.

I raised an eyebrow at her and turned around so my back was to the crowd. Bella eyed me curiously and I winked just before I held the garter above my head and flung it like a sling shot straight into Mike Newton's stunned face.

_What the…_

The girls began to giggle, nudging Jessica suggestively with their elbows as Mike tried to laugh it off. The band began to play and Bella shook her head and laughed as I took her hand in mine, leading her to the dance floor.

Bella's heart rate and respiration clearly displayed her anxiety, but she moved with me, allowing me to lead. We spun across the dance floor, eliciting some surprised reactions from the crowd who didn't believe Bella had a graceful bone in her body. Even her own father was surprised by the ease at which her feet moved with mine. Even if she teetered, I was able to compensate so that no one, with the exception of my family, would even notice the error.

I smiled down at her, basking in the glow of the lights and love that surrounded us. I had said to myself long ago that I would find another excuse for us to dance under the stars together, little did I know that the next opportunity would be at our own wedding reception. I gripped Bella's hand to my chest and brought her closer, pressing my lips to her ear. "Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered.

She laughed nervously. "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while," I smiled as I leaned in to kiss her lips. She blushed furiously as cameras flashed, capturing our open display of affection. I couldn't reign in the smile that spread across my face. Bella was finally mine. _My wife._ And I could display her proudly to the world.

As the song came to a close, I heard Charlie's hesitant steps cross the dance floor. _Guess it's my turn_, he thought. He tapped me lightly on the shoulder. I lightly brushed my lips across Bella's cheek before turning and placing her hand in her father's. He pursed his lips and nodded as I crossed the room to where Esme stood waiting for me.

She smiled as she placed her hand in mine and we glided across the dance floor as we had so many times before. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered. "I don't believe I've ever seen you quite so carefree."

"And for good reason," I smiled.

"Everything's as it should be," she nodded. "I truly believe that you were always meant to be together. It just took you a while to find her."

"Understatement of the century," I smirked, eliciting a light laugh from her.

Esme kissed my cheek as the song ended and we parted as Renée took her place. My new mother-in-law threw herself enthusiastically into the steps, not seeming to care if they weren't in exact sync with mine. It was not surprising. Renée always seemed to march to the beat of her own drum.

"The ceremony was beautiful," she offered. "Bella was simply breathtaking."

"I couldn't agree more," I nodded.

The corners of her eyes crinkled as she caught my gaze. She stared at me for a moment as she tried to see into the depths of my heart. "You're a good match for her," she finally said. "She is so much like her father. The two of you seem to balance each other perfectly."

"She is indeed my other half," I agreed. "I don't know what I would be without her." Truth be told, I knew exactly what I would be without her – listless, empty, broken. I had endured far too much heartache and lost too much precious time. I would never make that mistake again.

"Make each other happy," she whispered.

I nodded and smiled as we parted, allowing the next guest to have their opportunity to dance with the groom. I danced with Alice. I danced with our friends. And to my chagrin, I even danced with Tanya. But all I wanted to do was find my way back to Bella.

Just as I had, Bella spend the last hour graciously offering dances to our guests, but it was when Mike Newton wrapped his arms around her waist that I finally reached my limit. Alice appeared at my side, gripping my arm tightly. _Edward, don't_, she warned. She placed my hand on her tiny waist and began to drag me across the dance floor, keeping me at a safe distance from Mike.

"Calm down, Edward," she reproved. "He's harmless."

"Harmless?" I hissed. "You should hear his thoughts." I scowled at the deplorable fantasies that filled his head.

"Oh, please," Alice groaned, rolling her eyes.

I continued to dance with my sister until the song came to a close. She finally relented and we spun across the dance floor where I happily cut in, passing Mike along to dance with Alice as I eagerly took Bella back in my arms and quickly moved us to the other side of the dance floor.

"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" she teased.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts," I grimaced. "He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse."

"Yeah, right," Bella scoffed.

I looked at her in disbelief. "Have you had a chance to look at yourself?" I asked.

The space between her eyebrows puckered. "Um. No, I guess not. Why?"

As usual, she had no idea how absolutely exquisite she was. "Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman."

She looked at me in disbelief. "I _am_ disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror." I turned my head briefly to glare at my sister who responded with a roll of her eyes.

"You are very biased, you know," Bella murmured.

_Never seeing herself clearly_, I sighed. We were close enough to the side of the house that I could see our reflection in the glass. I gripped Bella's shoulders and spun her around so that we were standing side by side and facing the wall of glass. I pointed to the mirror image.

"Biased, am I?"

Bella's eyes narrowed as she stared at the reflection, as though she couldn't rectify in her mind that the image of the woman before her was in fact herself. We stood in silence for a moment as realization dawned.

_He's coming….almost here…_

_ Be ready…keep a close eye…_

I raised my head as I listened to the new thoughts that filtered through my consciousness. They were unlike the thoughts of the guests, they weren't separate, they were linked with one another. _The wolf pack._ But why…?

_Over here, bloods…um, Edward,_ I heard Jacob's thoughts.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. Bella looked at me curiously as a wide smile spread across my face. Jacob had finally made it to the wedding. Bella would be thrilled.

"What is it?" she asked.

"A surprise wedding gift," I smiled.

"Huh?"

I followed the sound of Jacob's thoughts, pulling Bella across the dance floor with me until we reached the edge where the lights gave way to the darkness. I led Bella away from the reception until we were near the tree line where I could see Jacob standing awkwardly against a tree with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Thank you," I said. "This is very…kind of you." Bella turned and looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Kind is my middle name," Jacob replied. _What kind of friend would I be if I didn't show up for her wedding, right? _"Can I cut in?"

Bella gasped and her hand flew to her throat. Her knees began to shake and I held her up as she sagged against me. She was silent for several beats as she struggled to find her voice.

"Jacob!" she exclaimed. "Jacob!"

"Hey there, Bells."

Bella lurched forward into the darkness, following the sound of Jacob's voice. I held her upright as she stumbled into Jacob's waiting arms. I watched, bottling up the familiar feelings of jealousy, as he wrapped his arms around her and leaned his cheek on the crown of her head. He closed his eyes and sighed, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. _I've missed this_, he thought. _I've missed her._

I felt like an outsider intruding on an intimate moment between two friends. All too soon, Bella would become like me, become mortal enemies with her best friend. This could perhaps be the last time she would see him. As much as it pained me to do so, I needed to give them their moment together…alone.

"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor," I said as I turned back to the lights and laughter of the partygoers. I bit my lip as I heard Bella begin to cry, but forced myself to keep walking. I focused on anything but the thoughts behind me. It didn't matter that Bella was mine, that being with me made her happy, it still hurt me to know that the decision she made had caused her even a modicum of pain.

Rosalie and Emmett were dancing together when I tapped Emmett on the shoulder. Rosalie quirked an eyebrow at me and placed her hand on her hip. "It's about time," she smirked.

Emmett slapped me on the shoulder as he stood aside so I could dance with my sister. I hesitated for a moment, still struggling between the need to separate myself from Jacob's thoughts and the desire to eavesdrop. Rosalie snapped her fingers in front of my face, disrupting me train of thought. I met her gaze and she raised an eyebrow expectantly.

A new song began as I took Rosalie's hand and began leading her across the dance floor, careful to keep a safe distance from Bella and Jacob's private reunion. We twirled in tempo with the music, our steps light and effortless. Alice and Jasper glided past us and even Emmett appeared graceful as he danced with Esme.

"Are you okay?" Rosalie asked, tilting her head to the side. _You're so distracted._

"I'm fine," I shrugged. "Even now, it's difficult to leave her in his care."

"Well, snap out of it," she snickered. "Don't make me call Jasper over here."

I shook my head and chuckled at Rosalie's attempt at distraction. For all our past disagreements and enmity, we were still as close as siblings could be. Rosalie's personality may be lacking in tact, but she always did what she felt was in the best interest of the family. She was always looking out for me, whether I wanted her to or not. I wondered if she would now look after Bella as well. Would she accept her as a sister as willingly as she did Alice?

The song ended and I found myself sitting at a table, surrounded by my family as they chatted happily. Carlisle stood behind me, his hand patting my shoulder. _What a wonderful evening._

"Alice, you've truly outdone yourself," Carlisle offered.

"Everything is perfect," Esme agreed.

_Jake, watch yourself…_

_ Bella, what the hell?_

I turned my ear toward the place where I had left Bella, suddenly concerned by the new thoughts that broke through my consciousness.

"Like you expected anything less," Alice waved a hand dismissively, garnering laughter from around the table. I happened to glance over just as Alice's expression changed. Her eyes glazed over and I watched the vision play out in her mind.

My body turned rigid as I watched myself jumping from my chair and running across the dance floor to where Bella and Jacob should be. My head jerked to the side as I honed in on their conversation.

"What do you mean?" Jacob hissed. "Have a real honeymoon? While you're still _human_? Are you kidding? That's a sick joke, Bella!"

"I said butt out, Jake," Bella shot back. "This is _so_ not your business. I shouldn't have…we shouldn't even be talking about this. It's private –"

Alice's hand flew up to her mouth and Carlisle gripped my shoulder in response, attempting to hold me in place. The thoughts of my family were concerned as they all looked between Alice and myself for explanation. I peered into the darkness and saw Jacob and Bella arguing. I saw him reach out, gripping Bella's shoulders, bruising her, hurting her.

In a fraction of a second, I was out of my seat. I cursed under my breath as I stormed across the dance floor, the anxious thoughts of my family following behind me. I deplored the presence of the human guests that prohibited me from acting according to my true nature, for forcing me to walk at a torturously slow pace, for preventing me from doing to Jacob exactly what I wanted to do to him.

"Ow, Jake! Let go!" Bella protested as she struggled against him.

I watched in horror as he began to shake her. "Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!"

She whimpered as he tightened his grip and shook her again. I increased my pace, fury boiling in the pit of my stomach, my fists clenched at my sides, ready to rip Jacob to shreds.

"Jake – stop!"

_Jacob, you need to calm down._

_ Come on, Jake, leave her alone._

The thoughts of the wolf pack and my own eyes confirmed that Jacob was indeed losing grip on his control. His entire body had begun to vibrate. _If he phased anywhere near her…_ I closed the distance and crouched, ready to attack, ready to defend and protect my wife. A fierce growl emanated from my chest.

"Take your hands off her!"

**A/N: You guys have got to be the best readers anyone could ever hope for! Thank you so much for reading, following, reviewing, and checking up on me. I apologize for taking longer to get this chapter posted, but I have some exciting news. I took a little time over the past week or so to finish my revisions of Eternal Equinox, the fic previous to this one. It has been nominated in two categories of The Vampies twific awards – Bloody Brilliant (Best Overall) and Just Like Stephenie Used to Make (Best Canon). Thanks so much to those of you who nominated my story. I can't tell you what that means to me. I encourage you to go and support the many nominated authors by voting for your favorites: www (dot) twificpics (dot) com/vampawards**

**Special thanks to my awesome beta, NellyBear85 – I don't know how you do it girl, but you're always there when I need you. I have yet to catch you away from your post and your support of my work is invaluable. And thanks to misticbutterfly, my favorite writing partner – love ya girl!**


	5. Chapter 5: Farewell

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

**A/N: Surprise! The fanfic muses must have been smiling on me this week, because inspiration struck. So, to make up for the delayed posting of the last chapter, you get this one a week early! I hope you like it!**

Chapter 5

Farewell

Jacob's eyes were still focused on Bella. His knuckles strained with the grip he held on her arms, the delicate skin beneath his fingers turning white under the pressure of his hold. The air around us sizzled with the heat rolling off of Jacob and the members of the pack that were beginning to converge on him. My fists clenched, tiny fissures breaking out across my knuckles as I struggled to hold myself back.

A low snarl echoed through the trees behind Jacob, followed by another.

_That's enough, Jacob._

_Jake, just let her go._

Sam and the others could bark orders for eternity, but in human form, Jacob couldn't hear them. Footsteps and a furiously beating heart approached from behind me, but passed, stopping just in front of me. "Jake, bro, back away," Seth pleaded. _This isn't the time or the place for this. _"You're losing it." Anyone could see that Jacob was losing his grip on his control. If he phased into the wolf this close to Bella, there would surely be bloodshed and there would be nothing on this earth strong enough to hold me back if it came to that.

Seth angled himself between us, protecting me or protecting Jacob, I wasn't entirely sure. I pushed through my own haze of fury and could see the conflict in Jacob's eyes – the same conflict I had in my own eyes so many times. We were both a danger to Bella, although in different ways, and just as before, neither of us trusted the other completely when her safety was in question. I blocked out the concerned thoughts of my family members as they watched from across the dance floor and made an effort to keep the guests distracted from our standoff.

"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."

_Hurt her? I'm trying to protect her. _The corner of Jacob's mouth twitched and his eyes darted back and forth from his own hands gripping Bella to the terror on her face. _Oh God, what have I done? _His eyes widened and a look of absolute devastation overcame him. He hesitated, still gripping Bella tightly and I was beginning to lose my own control.

"Now!" I threatened.

A moment later, Jacob's grip loosened and his hands fell to his side in defeat. The instant his hands left her skin, I stepped forward, gripping Bella by the arms, and carried her a good distance away, putting her safely behind me. My body, still tense and poised to attack, crouched protectively in front of her as I waited for Jacob to react. Jacob was still trembling with rage as Seth tried in vain to push him back into the trees and away from danger.

Sam and Quil placed themselves between us. _We'll take care of him_, Sam thought. _We don't want a fight._ I was certain that Sam didn't want a fight. With only four members of the wolf pack present and eleven vampires in attendance, they were severely outnumbered.

"C'mon, Jake. Let's go," Seth encouraged as he tried again to pull Jacob away.

Jacob's eyes bore into mine, his jaw taut with hatred. "I'll kill you," he spat. _Don't you dare hurt her! _"I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" He edged toward me, his fists clenched and trembling at his sides. _You think I won't do it? She has no idea what will happen. How could you even consider…_

_We've got your back, Eddie. If he makes one move… _I could hear my brothers' thoughts only a few yards behind me, poised to come to my defense if Jacob did indeed intend to make good on his threats.

_That's enough!_ Sam growled, turning his head to Jacob and taking a menacing step in his direction. Seth looked between Jacob and myself, unsure of what to do. Jacob continued to lean forward on the balls of his feet, poised for attack.

"Seth, get out of the way," I hissed. In human form, Seth could be seriously injured if this fight escalated any further. It wouldn't be right for him to put himself in the middle of our rivalry, but Seth wouldn't listen. A tranquil breeze floated down over us and Jacob's features began to shift minutely under the affect of Jasper's ability. With both arms wrapped around Jacob's chest, Seth pulled with all his might, managing to pull Jacob back several feet toward the trees. "Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon." _Please._

_I'll get him in line,_ Sam thought as he nosed Jacob in the chest, pushing him further back. Through my own indignation, I could see the abject fear in Jacob's eyes. He has resolved himself to the fact that Bella would soon become like me, and he was almost willing to accept that if it meant she would still exist. But the thought of her life ending, the expectation that I would instead be stealing her life rather than merely her soul, was too much for him. He fully expected that I would kill her and was devastated to know that there was nothing he could do to stop me.

Seth and Sam quickly pulled Jacob away, leaving Quil who couldn't decide whether to help his friend or keep watch here. _I hate seeing Jake like this – it's not right. I don't understand how Bella could do this…_

Bella wrapped her arm around mine, stepping to my side as she met eyes with Quil who stood statue still. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

_Sorry? You're killing him. Don't you see that?_

I wrapped my arm around Bella's quivering shoulders. "It's all right now, Bella."

_Is it? _The wolf narrowed his eyes as he looked between me and Bella. _Guess there's nothing else I can do…_

I nodded curtly in agreement and Quil huffed before turning to follow the path the others had taken. I looked after him, almost stunned that our happy occasion had been marred by this confrontation. But Jacob was right. What Bella had planned, what she had asked of me, was extremely dangerous. The thought of it made my stomach churn; reminding me of the lump of cake I had yet to disgorge. I closed my eyes briefly, attempting to restore my calm façade, for Bella's sake and the sake of our guests.

"All right," I murmured, taking a deep breath before turning to Bella. "Let's get back."

Her eyes were wide and her heart was still hammering in her chest. "But Jake –" she protested.

"Sam has him in hand," I assured her. "He's gone."

Bella shook her head and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. "Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid –"

"You did nothing wrong –"

"I have such a big mouth!" she exclaimed. "Why would I…I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?" Her cheeks flooded with color as she bit down on her bottom lip.

"Don't worry," I whispered, cupping her cheek in my palm and wiping the tear away with my thumb. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence." Thankfully, my family had been keen enough to keep the guests distracted, but they couldn't keep up pretenses for long.

She glanced back at the dance floor, a confused look on her face. She must have expected that our brief confrontation to garner more of an audience. She looked down at herself, smoothing out her dress and running her fingers over her hair. "Give me two seconds," she murmured.

Her eyes were imploring as she winced and looked up at me. "My dress?" she asked.

"You look fine," I smiled, brushing my finger over her lips, forcing her teeth to release their hold. "Not a hair out of place."

She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. "Okay," she breathed. "Let's go."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and began walking back toward the reception. With the exception of my family, none of the guests seemed to have any idea of what had just transpired. As soon as we were in view, I pulled Bella to me and began leading her in a dance, moving us toward the other guests until we were once again dancing among them.

Bella's heart rate still had not slowed to its normal rhythm and her eyes still held a deep concern as they flitted at regular intervals to the spot where Jacob had disappeared into the forest.

The old concerns about our relationship, of the worries I had of her leaving me for Jacob, clawed their way unbidden to the surface of my mind. Did she want to go to him? Was she regretting her decision to marry me?

"Are you –" I began.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with _you_." If anything, Jacob and I were the things in her life that were wrong, the things that kept her from enjoying a normal, human existence. And perhaps I was the worst of all for agreeing to such a monstrous notion – to even give credence to the notion that the consummation of our marriage was possible while she was still human.

"It's over," she whispered. "Let's not think of it again tonight."

That was easier said than done. Jacob's words continued to ring in my head. No truer words had been spoken, not by Bella, not be me, not even by my family. Everyone had put a blind trust in my own self control, in the belief that I loved Bella too much to even conceive of harming her, conscious or otherwise.

"Edward?" Bella asked, pulling me from my trance.

I closed my eyes, resting my forehead on hers. "Jacob is right," I whispered. "What _am _I thinking?" I was a monster for even considering it.

"He is not," she insisted, pressing her palm to my cheek. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

But Jacob was right. If anyone in this whole disturbed situation was thinking clearly, it was him. "Maybe I _should_ let him kill me for even thinking…"

"Stop it," she hissed, grasping my face in both hands and halting the movement of her feet until I was forced to meet her gaze. "You and me," she whispered passionately. "That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

Her eyes were demanding and I was weak. My defenses were utterly inadequate when she spoke to me in that manner, when she displayed such fervor in her beliefs. How could I deny her? I only prayed that when the moment of truth arrived, I didn't make her into a fool for believing so strongly in my control.

"Yes," I finally sighed.

"Forget Jacob came," she whispered. "For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

Could I do that? Could I merely forget that the one man who I contended with for Bella's heart, seemingly the only person who understood my reservations about a honeymoon, had come and reminded me just how dangerous this would be? Could I? Bella's eyes were pleading and far be it from me to destroy what little happiness we could salvage from this reception. "I promise," I sighed.

"Thank you." She reached up, grazing her lips on my cheek. "Edward, I'm not afraid."

"I am," I whispered.

"Don't be." She smiled. "By the way, I love you."

I managed a small smile in return. "That's why we're here."

_Need a little breather, bro?_ Emmett lumbered up behind me, tapping me on the shoulder. "You're monopolizing the bride," he said with a smirk. "Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." Perfectly on cue, Bella's cheeks flushed crimson and Emmett belted out a hearty guffaw. I lifted Bella's hand to my lips and kissed it softly before stepping aside so Emmett could dance with the bride.

"Thank you," I whispered under my breath. Emmett nodded in understanding and smiled as I made my way toward the house. Carlisle caught my arm as I stepped through the door.

_Are you all right? _he thought.

"I just need a moment," I murmured as I brushed past him, heading toward my room. I needed a moment to myself, some time to collect my thoughts and push aside the emotions swirling around inside me.

My stomach churned as I thought over the confrontation with Jacob and the reminders that the next and most dangerous step in my relationship with Bella was merely hours away. I crossed my bedroom into the bathroom and knelt on the floor, wrapping my arms around the cool, white porcelain. My stomach heaved as it expelled the foreign contents, leaving the bits of cake to disintegrate in the swirling water. I closed my eyes and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. The unsettling feeling in my stomach was decidedly improved, but it still did nothing to squelch the storm brewing within me.

I sank to the floor, cradling my head in my hands. _I can't do this_, I thought to myself. How could I go back out there and face Bella knowing what could happen if I made good on my promise? How could I convincingly portray the part of the idyllic groom when inside I was absolutely terrified? Bella knows what I am. She witnessed firsthand the ferocity and savage nature, knows full well what I'm capable of doing, yet she still trusts me implicitly. I couldn't fathom how such a fragile creature could love a monster.

_Will you stop beating yourself up_, Jasper thought as he lowered himself to the floor beside me.

"I wish I could," I murmured, shaking my head.

"And why can't you?" he scoffed. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, you don't give yourself enough credit. It wasn't your fault that Jacob reacted the way he did and, to be quite honest, you handled yourself rather well under the circumstances."

"Jacob was right."

"No, he wasn't," Jasper insisted. "Jacob knows what you are, not really _who_ you are. _I_ know who you are. Bella knows who you are. Do you think we would be encouraging you on this path if there was even a shred of doubt that you couldn't handle yourself?"

I breathed a heavy sigh, struggling to rectify my own thoughts with Jasper's words. My family would never do anything to put Bella in harm's way. I knew that. My timeline was dwindling at an alarming rate. I needed to change my way of thinking, force myself to push aside my own fears and focus on what everyone else believed about me. I needed to believe in myself. I needed to believe in the strength of my love for Bella and my natural inclination to protect her.

Jasper stood. "C'mon." He offered his hand to pull me up. "Let's get you back out there." _Bella's going to begin to wonder if you changed your mind and ran off._ Jasper chuckled lightly to himself as he followed me out of the room and down the stairs.

Esme and Carlisle stood by the door, speaking quietly to Eleazar. Their eyes turned when we entered the room and Esme flitted to my side. "Are you all right?" she asked, the corners of her eyes pinched with worry.

"I'm fine." I nodded. "I just needed a moment to collect myself."

She pursed her lips and glanced back at Carlisle. _I'm worried_, she thought.

"Don't be." I smiled reassuringly. "This is my wedding day. You should be happy, not worried."

She smiled and reached up to kiss my cheek before gliding back to Carlisle's side. I met eyes briefly with Eleazar and I could see the tension there. My dealings with the wolves must have been difficult for our family from Denali to witness. I was certainly glad that Irina had decided not to come. The confrontation with the wolves would have turned into an all-out battle if she had been present.

Bella was dancing with Eric Yorkie when I decided to cut in. I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her to me and I was home. This was where I belonged – in the arms of my beloved. I pushed back the worries about the honeymoon and the feelings stirred up by Jacob, and focused solely on my bride. She laid her head on my chest and sighed. I pulled her tightly to me and rested my chin on the crown of her head as we swayed on the dance floor.

"I could get used to this," she murmured.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?" I chuckled.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Dancing isn't so bad – with you. But I was thinking more of this, –" she pressed her hands into my back and squeezed me to her, "of never having to let you go."

"Never," I repeated. I would never let her go. I would never let anyone come between us, especially myself. I would never let any harm come to her. Perhaps they were right after all. Every instinct, every impulse, centered on keeping her safe. I found myself inexplicably drawn to her, even from the moment we met, and everything we endured, every experience we shared, had brought us to this moment.

The emotions welled up inside me, threatening to spill over. I leaned down, gently brushing my lips across Bella's cheek until her lips met mine. Her lips were soft and yielding, molding to mine. Her skin smoldered like burning embers and the heat intensified as I stoked the fire. I pressed my lips more firmly to hers, deepening the kiss, deepening our connection. I poured every ounce of passion, every overwhelming emotion, into a display of pure devotion. Her lips parted slightly and her sweet breath washed over me, overpowering my senses and intensifying my need for her.

Her fingers tangled in my hair and my hands spanned the small of her back, eliciting a small whimper. She pressed herself more firmly against me and I groaned in response. For so long I had kept her at arm's length, denied my own natural urges, but in this moment now, I found myself no longer afraid. In this moment, with her lips on mine, with the heat from her body radiating through me, I wanted nothing more than to make her mine in every way.

_Okay you two, there will be plenty of time for that later._ Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice standing with her arms crossed, her tiny foot tapping impatiently on the dance floor. I had more important things to tend to than to worry about Alice at this moment. My focus was entirely on my bride.

_Edward, stop ignoring me!_ I smiled against Bella's lips, perhaps having a little too much fun at my sister's expense. Bella didn't seem to notice at all and I wondered how she would blush if she knew what the onlookers thought of our little display.

_Fine, you asked for it,_ Alice huffed. "Bella! It's time!" she called, trying to pull Bella's attention away from me. Bella mumbled something unintelligible against my lips as she continued to press herself against me. Bolstered by her disregard for Alice's attempt to interrupt, I trailed my fingers down her back and flicked my tongue across her heated lips. I listened as her heart rate increased and her hands became nearly frantic as she wrapped them around the back of my neck.

_Seriously you two…_ Alice stepped up next to us and crossed her arms. "Do you want to miss your plane?" she threatened. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

"Go away, Alice," I said, breaking the kiss just long enough to dismiss my sister.

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" she demanded.

I fought back a chuckle as Alice growled, becoming increasingly exasperated with our tampering with her perfectly crafted schedule of events. Jasper tried to calm her, but she shooed him away.

_There has to be something. _"I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will." _Try me. I dare you._

And that was enough to get my attention. I had been very careful to keep the location of our honeymoon a secret from Bella – almost as careful as Alice was to keep Bella's dress a secret from me. I turned my head slightly, narrowing my eyes at my sister. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted." She reached for Bella's hand, pulling her from my arms. "Come with me, Bella."

Bella's hands gripped the jacket of my tuxedo uselessly as Alice tugged on her arm. She strained, reaching up to kiss my lips once more before Alice towed her toward the house.

_Newlyweds…_

_They're so sweet together._

Quiet laughter and amused comments filtered through the remaining wedding guests as Rosalie and Emmett began directing them to the front of the house for our departure. I thrust my hands in my pockets and stared down at my own reflection in the shiny patent leather of my shoes. The twinkling of the lights overhead cast shimmers all around me, reminiscent of the first time in the meadow that I allowed Bella to see me in the sunlight. I smiled at the memory.

_A penny for your thoughts._ Carlisle stood next to me, watching the guests filter through the house. "Esme and Alice are helping Bella change out of her wedding gown. Jasper's bringing the car around for you."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"All the arrangements are in order. I called just a short while ago to confirm."

"Thank you again for offering the island," I said. "Isle Esme is the ideal setting. It's the perfect place for us to be alone, where Bella can be together without worrying about prying eyes."

"It's our pleasure. You know we would do just about anything to see you happy together."

"I know."

My family had been exceptionally understanding and supportive. Without their help, I don't think that it would have been possible for Bella and me to make it this far in our relationship. No, if not for my family, I would probably still be huddled in an attic crawlspace and Bella would likely be in Jacob's comforting arms.

Carlisle wrapped an arm around my shoulder and began leading me toward the house. I could hear the soft murmurings from one of the upstairs bedrooms as Bella changed her clothing. "Big day –," Carlisle mused, "and big night."

I winced at the reminder. I had resolved myself. I would fulfill my promise to Bella. I would not disappoint her and I would try my best to focus on the love I had for her and the knowledge that I could never harm her. But even as I repeated the affirmations to myself, the small voice of doubt still had its presence in my thoughts.

Carlisle gripped my arm, squeezing reassuringly. "Your first night together as man and wife will be a memory you will both cherish for always." He paused, feeling the tension in my shoulders. "Relax, Edward. You're ready."

I blew out a shaky breath and managed a small smile as we entered the house. The guests had gathered just outside the front door in anticipation of our departure and I took my place at the bottom of the staircase. I wrung my hands nervously as I waited for Bella to appear.

_I made it through the wilderness. Somehow I made it through._ I heard the familiar lyrics just before Emmett came into view. I cringed as he sauntered over to me, wagging his eyebrows and singing the familiar tune in his mind. _But you made me feel. Yeah, you made me feel…_

"Emmett, no," I said, raising a finger in warning, but it did little good. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my chest, pinning my arms to me sides, and began swaying, moving me along with him.

"Like a virgin," he sang, "touched for the very first time."

"Emmett," I groaned.

He ignored me completely as he continued to sway to the music. "Like a virgin, with your heartbeat next to…well, maybe not." He howled with laughter as he let me go and I surprisingly found myself laughing along with him. Of course Emmett would be the one to break the tension for me.

"Ready, bro?" he asked, smacking me playfully on the arm.

"As ready as I can be."

"Well, it's been like a hundred years, it's about time you gave it up."

I shook my head and chuckled. "Thank you for your words of wisdom, Emmett."

"Anytime," he said with a grin. "Just try not to break anything." He winked just before he opened the door to join the other wedding guests. I shook my head, snickering at Emmett's display and the levity it brought to my otherwise anxious mood.

"I love you, Mom," I heard Bella say to Renée as they appeared, arm in arm, at the top of the stairs. "I'm so glad you have Phil. Take care of each other."

"I love you, too, Bella, honey."

Bella's eyes glistened with tears and my jaw clenched as I witnessed her pain, the brief moment of folly vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. "Goodbye, Mom. I love you."

I offered my hand to Bella as she met the bottom steps. She glanced nervously at the expectant sets of eyes watching from the doorway, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes scanned the crowd and her brow furrowed as she turned to face me. "Dad?" she asked.

"Over here," I offered, pulling her with me through the gathered guests until we reached her father, leaning against the side of the house, away from the other partygoers.

_My baby girl…seems like just yesterday. _He cleared his throat and quickly wiped his cheek with the back of his hand in an attempt to hide any evidence of his tears. But he couldn't fool Bella. Her bottom lip began to tremble and she sucked in a breath before she reached for him.

"Oh, Dad!" she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, pressing her face into his chest as a fresh set of tears sprung from her eyes. His jaw tightened and he glanced at me briefly before the tears began to prick his own eyes. He squeezed them shut and patted Bella gently on the back.

"There, now," he soothed. "You don't want to miss your plane." _I can't believe my baby girl is married now. I just got her back…I hate to let her go._

Bella loosened her grip and leaned back to face her father. "I love you forever, Dad. Don't forget that."

As much as Charlie fought it, a small tear escaped and Bella reached up to wipe it away. "You, too, Bells. Always have, always will." She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and he returned the gesture, closing his eyes as he embraced his daughter one last time. My heart broke for him – for a father giving up his daughter. I shuddered as I thought of the pain he would endure when he realized that this may be the last time he sees her.

"Call me," he said.

"Soon," she promised, hesitating to release him.

"Go on, then," he urged, nodding to the car. "Don't want to be late."

Bella reluctantly stepped away from her father and took my hand. I squeezed it reassuringly. "Are you ready?" I asked.

She nodded. "I am."

We stood on the front porch, ready to make that next step on our journey together. I pulled her into my arms and planted a firm kiss on her lips, dipping her back slightly, which earned a round of applause from our family and friends.

_You better watch out!_

_It's time!_

I gripped Bella's hand and together we dashed through the crowd as the rice began to rain down around us. Bella shielded her eyes with her free hand and raced after me. Jasper stood by and opened the door as we reached the car, helping to usher Bella inside and I did my best to protect her from the pelting grains of rice.

_Ready, aim, fire! _I shifted my shoulder to cover Bella just as a skillfully aimed spray of rice hit my back, courtesy of Emmett.

I shut the door and ran around to the driver's side, careful to avoid stepping on the ribbons and shoes that trailed behind the car. I paused with my hand on the handle and took one last glance at the family and friends who had gathered to see us off.

I nodded to Charlie and to Renée – a silent thank you for accepting me into their lives and for allowing me to love their daughter, for bringing her into my life. I smiled at Carlisle and Esme, who stood side by side, watching proudly as I took this important step in my life. Emmett, of course, was continuing to make suggestive comments in his mind while grinning from ear to ear and Rosalie stood smiling at his side. Jasper sent one last wave of encouragement over me and Alice was practically vibrating with excitement.

I opened the door and climbed in, starting the car and putting it into gear. Bella was turned in her seat, facing out the window, and waving goodbye. "I love you," she called as we sped out of sight.

She stared out the window into the darkness for a moment, her breath coming in shallow pants, before she turned and settled into the seat. I reached across the space and clutched her fingers in mine. "I love you."

She leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed. "That's why we're here."

I squeezed her hand and kissed her hair softly. The day was done. We were married and finally beginning our life together. As we drove through the blackness of the night, I reflected on the events of the day, of the memories I would cherish for eternity.

_No!_ The anguished bay of a lone wolf ripped through the silence of the forest. I revved the engine, hoping to drown out the noise so that Bella wouldn't hear. She had suffered enough knowing how she had broken Jacob's heart, how she would break her parent's hearts. She had given up so much to be with me. I could only pray that she believed I was worth it.

**A/N: You guys are simply amazing! I am humbled and floored by the response to the first four chapters. Thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, tweeting, etc. It's your support that keeps me going.**

**Thanks to my beta, NellyBear85 – I'm starting to wonder if she ever sleeps – she's always there for me, even though we're miles apart. And special thanks to misticbutterfly and Bettygale for their help with this chapter – you gals rock!**

**And on a side note, Eternal Equinox has been nominated in two categories of The Vampies twific awards – Bloody Brilliant (Best Overall) and Just Like Stephenie Used to Make (Best Canon). If you'd like to vote for Eternal Equinox or some of your other favorites, do it now – voting closes on Monday, February 28th! www (dot) twificpics (dot) com/vampawards**


	6. Chapter 6: Union

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

**A/N: For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know I've been trying to post this chapter for 3 days now. FF is having issues, but I found a workaround. I do post chapter updates and progress from time to time on twitter if you're interested in following me: sunray16****  
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Chapter 6

Union

Bella's hand gripped mine tightly as we made our way through the airport terminal. I could feel the expectation building, like a slow burn creeping its way across my skin. I knew that each step we took would bring us closer to our final destination, closer to the night I had been both anticipating and dreading these past few months.

"Houston?" Bella turned to me, her eyebrows raised as we reached our gate.

"Just a stop along the way," I replied with a grin, pleased that she still had no idea where we were going. Alice had been a great help, although offering to pack for Bella seemed to be more of an excuse to shop for a new wardrobe than it was to help me to keep the location of the honeymoon a secret.

They announced that our plane was boarding a few moments later and I took Bella's hand as we made our way to the gate. "Here we are," I said, pointing to the seat numbers overhead. I stepped aside to allow Bella to seat herself first and I placed her bag in the overhead compartment. As I lowered myself into the seat beside her, she reached up and gripped the collar of my shirt, pulling me toward her until our lips met.

She kissed me ardently, her hands fisting in my hair. I smiled against her lips and began to chuckle. "We haven't even reached our destination yet," I teased.

"I know." She smirked, pressing her lips to mine once more. "But who says I have to wait until we get there if I want to kiss my husband?"

_Husband._ The way the word flowed from her lips so easily sent a surge of joy through me. Bella was my wife. _My wife._ And I was her husband. I had waited for this for so long, my brain still hadn't completely registered that all of this was real. A small part of me fully expected that I would awake from a daydream and find that the last twenty-four hours had been but a figment of my overactive imagination.

_They must be newlyweds. How sweet!_

I turned my head just as a flight attendant was making her way down the aisle, checking that the passengers were belted properly. She smiled warmly at us as she passed by, her thoughts briefly imagining what our wedding had been like.

As soon as we were in the air, I lifted the arm rest that separated us and wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders, pulling her toward me. She leaned into my embrace, laying her head on my shoulder and I leaned in, kissing the crown of her head.

"Sleep, love. It's been a long day and we have a long journey ahead of us."

"How long?" she asked.

"Long enough," I skirted. "Nice try though."

"Can't blame a girl for trying."

"No, I certainly can't."

Her eyes slowly drifted closed as we travelled through the night sky. I closed my own eyes, ignoring the dreamy thoughts of the passengers that surrounded us, and instead focusing my thoughts on the task ahead. It was fortunate that the journey to Isle Esme would take the better part of a day, affording me time to mentally prepare myself for the wedding night. I tried to focus on the encouraging words of my family, on Bella's trust, on the sense of calm that Jasper had tried to instill.

I had promised Bella that we would _try_. I could certainly do that. If I found that my control was slipping, Bella surely wouldn't push me to continue. I would hope not. I had every intention of giving my bride a proper honeymoon, but turning her into a vampire was undoubtedly not on the agenda.

She nuzzled closer to me, her breathing slow and steady. With the exception of the flight staff, it appeared that the majority of the plane was asleep. I nestled my nose in her hair, breathing in her scent, making absolutely certain that her essence invaded my every molecule, acclimating myself to the close proximity in preparation for the new closeness we would soon share.

_Adorable. They must be exhausted. _The flight attendant's thoughts became louder as her light footsteps approached. The scent of fleece filled my nostrils followed by the sensation of weight as the attendant placed a blanket over Bella and myself. My eyes opened and the attendant winced as she apologized for waking me. I shook my head and smiled, mouthing _thank you_, before reaching across Bella to pull the blanket up over her shoulders.

-x-

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon as we descended in Houston. I gently shook Bella's shoulder to wake her. She stretched her arms above her head and smiled sleepily.

"Are we there yet?" she asked.

"Just a stop, remember?"

I stood to retrieve the bag from the overhead compartment, opening it and quickly slipping on a dark hoodie that was stowed inside. Bella raised an eyebrow, but nodded in understanding when the morning rays of light began to stream through the tiny airplane windows.

Bella was clearly fatigued as I led her through the airport to meet our connecting flight. I wrapped my arm around her, holding her up, as we stopped to check in. She managed to keep her eyes open long enough to read the signs.

"Rio de Janerio?" she asked.

I smiled conspiratorially. "Another stop."

The long flight from Houston was spent in quiet contemplation. Once again, Bella was sleeping in my arms, saturating every fiber of my being with her presence. I took slow and steady breaths, practicing one of the many calming exercises Carlisle had taught me over the years when I felt my emotions running away with me.

I tried to picture the scene in my mind. I had imagined our wedding night in great detail on many occasions, but now it was no longer a daydream. I envisioned every caress, every touch, in an effort to prepare myself for any possibility. I only hoped that I could maintain the calm composure I was fostering when the time came.

The sun was setting when we arrived in Rio – timed perfectly, thanks to Alice. I gripped Bella's hand tightly as we wove our way through the crowded airport and into a taxi. I could see the confused look in her eyes as she slid across the seat, but she didn't ask for explanation. I smiled widely, feeling my excitement beginning to build. The island was something I had wanted to share with Bella for some time now. I rubbed small circles on the back of her hand as I gave instructions to the driver in Portuguese.

The streets were teeming with people that parted as the taxi slowly made its way through them. As we travelled through the city, I tried to forget the last time I was here. My breath caught in my throat as we passed the very building that had been my hideaway from the rest of the world so many months ago. I leaned over, wrapping Bella in my arms and squeezed my eyes shut as I fought to block out the painful memories that came flooding back to me. She must have realized what this place meant to me because she cradled my head in her arms and began whispering soothing words in my ear. The irony was not lost on me – I had been comforted in a similar fashion the last time I was here, although the Bella in my imagination wasn't nearly as real as the one who sat beside me in this moment.

I closed my eyes as her fingers wove their way through my hair, scraping lightly against my scalp. I blew out a puff of air, frustrated with myself for allowing myself to become so affected by this place. The feeling of tension slowly ebbed as we neared the coastline.

The taxi gradually pulled to a stop and the driver glanced back over his shoulder. "Aqui é o seu destino," he said.

"Obrigado," I replied as I began to sit up.

He climbed out and opened Bella's door, offering his hand to help her out. I followed behind her and placed several folded bills into the driver's hand after he finished unloading our luggage onto the dock. He looked at me and smiled his thanks before climbing back into the car.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and pressed my lips to hers for a long, lingering kiss. She responded in kind, pressing herself against me. We had been married for nearly a day and still had not begun our honeymoon. I reluctantly released her, placing one last kiss on her lips before stepping back and pointing toward our next mode of transportation.

"This way," I said as I picked up our bags and began walking down the pier. Bella followed closely behind, her heartbeat increasing steadily in tempo. When we reached the boat, I jumped onto the deck and dropped the bags before reaching out for Bella's hands to help her aboard. She glanced around curiously as I began preparing for departure, removing the tether that secured the boat to the dock and checking gauges to ensure everything was functioning properly.

I took Bella's hands in mine and encouraged her to sit. Reaching behind her, I pulled out a bright orange life vest. She grimaced at the sight of it, but didn't protest as I buckled it securely around her. I leaned in to kiss her forehead and turned to the controls.

The boat's motor roared to life as I turned the ignition and began pulling up the anchor.

"Ready?" I asked.

She nodded in response, her voice drowned out by the noise of the engine. I turned in my chair and pushed the throttle forward as I carefully guided the boat away from the dock and out into the open water. After successfully maneuvering out of the marina, I pushed the throttle to its limit and we began flying across the waves, travelling so fast that we barely skimmed the surface of the water.

I glanced over at Bella. Her hair was whipping around her in the breeze and her eyes were closed against the light ocean spray that blew across her face. The tiny droplets of water glistened against her alabaster skin and I stared in a moment of absolute awe. _Almost there_, I thought to myself, causing the nerves in the pit of my stomach to twist uncomfortably.

I pulled my attention away from my wife and back to the open ocean that stretched out before us. My brain struggled to focus on the controls of the boat, to recall the coordinates of Esme's private island. All of the preparations swam around in the back of my mind. I had made endless phone calls and Carlisle assured me that everything had been taken care of, that the island would be in perfect order. Alice even promised that she could not foresee anything going awry. Taking in deep breaths of sea air, I did what I could to ease my anxiety.

"Are we going much farther?" Bella asked.

My head turned in the direction of her voice. Her knuckles were white as she clenched the seat cushion. Either she was eager to reach the destination or worried about staying aboard – both thoughts made me smile. "About another half hour," I replied.

She nodded, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth and I chuckled to myself as I turned back to the controls. I could hear the steadying breath she took as her heart rate began to increase. Could it be that she was just as nervous as I was? After her varied attempts and advances, I didn't expect anything but the utmost confidence from her. Perhaps the conviction she displayed previously was merely a front, a means to an end, while inside she trembled at the thought of being together just as I did.

I mulled over this new revelation as we rocketed across the choppy seas. And there it was. Off in the distance – illuminated in the moonlight, pale white against the black waters – was Isle Esme. I lifted my hand and pointed, turning to Bella. "Bella, look there."

She squinted against the blackness, her human eyes unable to see nearly as clearly as mine. Her perplexed expression began to shift the closer we neared to the island and, after a few moments, I saw the recognition in her eyes. "Where are we?" she asked.

I smiled, pleased that the efforts to keep the location of our honeymoon a surprise had succeeded. The look of wonder on her face was more than I could have hoped for. "This is Isle Esme."

My hands spun the wheel and pulled back on the throttle as I carefully guided us beside a small dock. I lowered the anchor and cut the engine, hopping onto the dock to secure the boat.

"Isle _Esme_?"

"A gift from Carlisle," I explained. "Esme offered to let us borrow it."

I pulled the suitcases from the boat and set them on the dock. I turned back to Bella, smiling widely with excitement, and scooped her up in my arms before jumping back onto the dock.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" she breathed.

"I'm nothing if not thorough."

With Bella tucked safely against me with one arm, I hoisted up the luggage with the other and began jogging toward the house. The trees swayed gently in the tropical breeze and the only sound for miles was the thudding of the heart cradled against me. I could feel her body stiffen as her heart rate continued to steadily increase in tempo, her breath coming in soft pants. My eyes scanned her face for signs of distress, but it seemed that my earlier observation was correct. She was just as nervous about our union as I was.

I climbed the steps of the house, setting down the luggage and twisting the doorknob until the door swung open. I stood there for a moment, emotions welling up inside me as I prepared to carry my bride over the threshold. It was a simple tradition, but one that was older than even Carlisle and rich in its history. To take that next step was to symbolize our passage into the next stage of our relationship. Ancient Romans believed that a man should carry his bride because if she tripped over the threshold, it would bring bad luck into the marriage.

I smiled to myself. If any bride was likely to trip, it would be Bella. But good luck or bad, carrying Bella into this home was not only a means of preventing a mishap, but as a symbol to her that I would be her protector, that I would be the one to carry her, to support her in this life and in the next.

My gaze turned to Bella, but she still seemed to be lost in her thoughts. My eyes scanned her face as I willed her to look at me. Slowly, her head turned and our eyes locked. I wanted her to see the conviction in my eyes. I wanted her to understand that I was committed to her – in every way – and perhaps I was waiting for a sign from her that she was ready to take that next step with me. She nodded infinitesimally and, with that, I stepped into the house.

The dark became light as I carried her through the island cottage, illuminating the space in what could have been considered a tour – kitchen, living area, dining area, guest bedroom, bathroom. My breath hitched as I reached the master suite. The light flicked on and my eyes immediately fell on the large bed in the center of the room. The lump in my throat grew as the promise I made months ago was becoming a reality before my eyes.

I could feel my entire body tensing up. I needed to get away, to get some air. I set Bella down and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand. "I'll…go get the luggage," I said as I nearly stumbled backward from the room.

Quickly passing through the house, I exited the front door and stepped to the side, slumping against the weathered wood. I ran my fingers through my windblown hair, pulling at the ends in frustration. It didn't matter how much preparation had been done, it still didn't lessen the nervousness I felt in this moment. Up until now, my primary concern was for keeping Bella safe and keeping my emotions in check. But it wasn't just about that anymore. The idea of being so intimate with another person, of allowing myself to be so vulnerable and exposed, was very frightening. It was ironic that after all these years, after everything I had witness in the minds of others, I was suddenly reduced to a nervous teenage boy preparing to lose his virtue.

I took in a deep breath and shook my head, attempting to shake off the doubts that were latching onto me. Picking up the luggage, I turned back into the house, determined not to let my fears get the better of me. Bella was standing near the bed when I returned, running her fingers absently through the mosquito netting. I quietly set down the bags and crossed the room to her.

A small bead of perspiration trickled down the back of her neck, evidence of the balmy island climate. I gently wiped it away with my finger. "It's a little hot here," I apologized. "I thought…that would be best."

"Thorough," she whispered.

A nervous chuckle escaped my lips. _Thorough, indeed._ With the disparity in our body temperatures, the warm atmosphere was necessary to keep her from catching a chill. "I tried to think of everything that would make this…easier," I admitted.

She continued to finger the billowy curtain that surrounded the bed, her gaze fixated on some unknown point across the room. Her heart was hammering in her chest and I began to wonder if the perspiration was not from the heat, but from her own anxiety about our union. I needed some time to calm and prepare myself and it appeared that she may need the same.

"I was wondering," I began, "if…first…maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" Her breath caught and I wished with all my might that I could know what she was thinking in this moment. I took a deep breath, fighting to recover some sliver of confidence. "The water will be very warm," I explained. "This is the kind of beach you approve of."

"Sounds nice," she breathed.

"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two…It was a long journey."

Her head bobbed up and down slowly, but the rest of her body remained rigidly fixed. This was going to be more difficult than I imagined – for both of us. I wondered to myself if her fears were the same natural fears every girl felt on her wedding night or if they had more to do with me. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to the soft skin behind her ear. _I need to do something to lighten the mood_, I thought. "Don't take_ too_ long, Mrs. Cullen," I chuckled.

I loved the way that sounded. I pressed another kiss to her shoulder before straightening up and beginning to walk toward the doors that led to the patio. "I'll wait for you in the water," I called over my shoulder. I hoped that the warm water would not only serve to raise the temperature of my skin, but also do something to ease my nervous tension. I pulled my shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor before I walked out the door.

The water shimmered under the moonlight. I walked in a straight line toward the ocean, listening intently for the sounds of Bella moving in the house. I heard an exasperated sigh – she must have discovered what Alice packed for her. I chuckled to myself, wondering if there was even one article of clothing in the suitcase that Bella would have chosen for herself.

I continued to walk toward the sea until I came to a slender palm, its trunk dipped low to the ground. I leaned against the rough wood for a moment, hesitating, before I gripped the waistband of my pants and stripped them off, carefully laying them across the palm. I stepped into the surf and closed my eyes as the warm water rushed over my feet.

The usual stream of thoughts that invaded my mind, the din of voices that overlapped and clashed in a dull roar, were silent. For the first time in a very long time, the only thoughts in my head were my own. Even when I was separated from Bella, her figment followed me, filling my head with reminders of past conversations. I stepped into deeper water, diving under the surface, and reveling in the tranquility of the silence. It was yet another reason why Isle Esme was the perfect location for us to consummate our marriage – it was the only place in the world where I could focus all my attention on Bella without the worry of outside thoughts and distractions invading my consciousness.

A small school of colorful fish darted away as I glided through the currents. Even through the barrier of water, I could still hear Bella's movements in the house. When I heard the telltale sound of water hitting tile, I knew that I had plenty of time to spare. I swam quickly, circling the island twice in an effort to burn off some of my nervous energy. I floated along the edge of the beach, allowing the tide to carry me as I watched the sea life dance around the reef below.

A lemon shark sliced stealthily through the water and, for a brief moment, I considered the notion of feeding. It would be just another precaution to prevent myself from losing control with Bella. The aching burn at the back of my throat was barely present after I had gorged myself two nights ago and compounded by the repulsive notion of feeding from a cold-blooded creature, I decided against it.

It did, however, remind me that I had neglected to feed Bella. I mentally scolded myself for being so careless. At the very least, I should have offered to prepare something for her to eat. Perhaps she would take it upon herself to find something. I had made sure to tell the caretakers to stock the kitchen for several weeks. But if Bella felt as nervous as I did, I had a strong feeling that she would decline any offers of food.

The sounds of the shower ceased and I glanced back at the house, but Bella was nowhere in sight. I stood, still in water waist deep, and closed my eyes as I listened to Bella's nervous breathing and pounding heart. If my heart still beat, it would be hammering just as furiously. I blew out a slow breath as I waited, knowing that the time had come, the moment of truth had arrived. And there would be no backing out.

I recalled the conversations I'd had over the past months, the encouraging words I received from the members of my family. _I have no reason to believe that you can't fulfill her wish safely, _Carlisle had said. My father had such faith in me – blind faith? I sincerely hope not.

Although Carlisle had been my mentor and confidant for all these years, it was Jasper's opinion that mattered most. _I firmly believe that the love you have for her is stronger than your natural instincts._ Jasper has been a cautious observer of my relationship with Bella and saw firsthand the emotional climate within me when I was in her presence. If anyone could know me better than I knew myself, it was Jasper.

Of course, Alice insisted that everything would be fine, but her visions were only as certain as I was. She wouldn't see any injury inflicted on Bella because it is never my intention to do her harm, but in matters of instinct and overwhelming emotion, Alice wouldn't see a slip until it was too late.

"Don't be a coward," I heard Bella whisper. It appeared that she, too, was trying to bolster her courage. I ached to tell her that I was just as fearful, but I remained fixed in the water, my eyes cast upward to the moon.

Soft footsteps approached, the shifting granules of sand under her feet like the trickling grains in a sand dial, ticking down the seconds left before I would be tested. I could hear the quiet sound of cloth against skin as she paused just moments before a timid splash announced her presence in the water.

Her heart was beating so furiously that I could feel the vibrations in the air. Her breath was hot on my back as she stood just behind me and her skin was like fire when she placed her hand on mine. I could see the outline of her silhouette out of the corner of my eye.

"Beautiful," she said, her gaze following mine.

"It's all right," I replied. I slowly turned to face her, my breath catching when my eyes met hers. Her ivory skin seemed to glow in the moonlight, nearly as luminescent as mine in the sun. Her eyes spoke volumes as she looked at me and, in the span of a single moment, all my fears and doubts seemed to melt away. All that mattered was the immeasurable love I felt for this woman and the desire to give her everything, to be everything for her. I captured her hand in mine, interweaving our fingers in the temperate water, feeling her pulse send vibrations that travelled up the length of my arm.

"But I wouldn't use the word _beautiful_. Not with you standing here in comparison."

Her cheeks flushed and a small smile graced her lips as she raised her other hand and placed it on the center of my chest. I trembled beneath her touch, the emotion of it all overwhelming me as the warmth from her skin seeped through my stone exterior and wrapped itself around my heart. The smoldering heat continued to spread throughout my body and a small flash of worry returned. I loved her so much; I couldn't bear to live with myself if I brought any harm to her.

My breath came in shallow gasps. "I promised we would try," I rasped. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

She nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. She took a determined step toward me and leaned her head against my bare chest. "Don't be afraid," she whispered. "We belong together." I closed my eyes and breathed in her aroma, still intoxicating, yet comfortingly familiar.

She was right. We belonged together. From the moment Carlisle changed me, perhaps even before, I was destined to be with her. Bella was my match in every way, the perfect other half that made me whole again. Her love healed the void in my heart left when my soul was bartered for my immortality. She made my life worth living again.

"Forever," I agreed as I wrapped my arms tightly around her and pulled her with me until the sand disappeared beneath us. Surrounded by warm water that kept us afloat in a weightless ballet, I held her to me, for the first time feeling the warmth of her skin against the coolness of my own. Tiny bolts of electricity crackled between us as our bodied pressed against one another, skin against stone.

I brought my hand up to her face, pushing a damp strand of hair behind her ear and stroking her cheek as I coaxed her lips to mine. The kiss was gentle as we nervously explored this new aspect of our relationship. This was the very essence of adoration, of the tenderness shared between two people who were absolutely and undeniably in love. I carefully traced the outline of her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue and she quivered delicately in response.

The slow burn consumed me completely, gradually giving way to passion. She knotted her hands in my hair as she pulled my face to hers, her kisses becoming more fervent. The tight coil in my chest, all the nervousness I kept bundled within me all these months, slowly began to unravel under her touch. I gripped her to me, needing to feel every surface of my body against hers. I gripped her leg and hitched it over my hip, eliciting a soft gasp at the new contact. Her eyes fluttered closed and her head tilted back. I pressed my lips to her slender neck, feeling the pulse beneath them, tasting the saltwater that clung in droplets to her skin.

"Edward," she whispered. She leaned forward until our eyes met. Not another word was spoken – her eyes told me everything I needed to know. I twisted around and placed an arm behind her legs, cradling her in to me, and began to walk back toward the house.

She leaned her head against my chest and my steps were more assured than I ever imagined they could be. I walked back through the doors and gently set her on the edge of the bed. She raised an eyebrow as I briefly left the room and returned with a towel. I reverently ran the soft cloth against her skin, soaking up the droplets left behind by the ocean.

I repeated the action, taking care to dry myself completely. Then I proceeded to walk around the circumference of the room, lighting candles and casting the bedroom in a soft glow. Bella smiled timidly as I returned to her, leaning carefully beside her on the bed.

"I love you," she whispered, placing her hand on my chest once more.

"I love you," I replied, the words seeming more powerful in this moment than they ever had been before, knowing that the declaration of love would now become an action. Surrounded by the glow of a hundred flickering flames, fire and ice came together. Bound by love and brought together by fate, two hearts became one.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I agonized a bit over it. Many of you have asked if I would "fade to black" as the book did. I tried to give you a little taste of the wedding night, but still wanted to remain true to the tone of the original text. **

**Apologies for the delay, life has thrown me a few curveballs the past couple of weeks and I'm trying my best to keep up. If you take into account that the last chapter was a week early, I'm technically still on schedule. ;)**

**Thanks to everyone for your continued support – for your reviews, favorites, messages, tweets, etc. It's the fuel that keeps me going. And thanks to everyone who voted for Eternal Equinox in the Vampies – it didn't win, but it was still an honor to be nominated. Thanks to my beta, NellyBear85, who is a great source of support and idea and is one of my biggest cheerleaders. And special thanks to misticbutterfly for talking me through the parts where I freeze up and for being an amazing writing partner that pushes me like no one else can.**


	7. Chapter 7: Aftershocks

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 7

Aftershocks

The flickering flames had all extinguished themselves, leaving us in a blanket of darkness and soft moonlight filtering through the gauzy curtains. I blew out a puff of air, sending a smattering of white feathers afloat. I had to chuckle at the absurdity of it. All things considered, with all the worries and concerns about consummating my marriage to Bella, it was a blessing that Esme's pillows were the only casualty.

They had all been right. I desperately wanted to believe my family when they told me that I could do this – that I would have perfect control – but I didn't think it was possible. I had seen the passion in the minds of others, knew its intensity, how it could completely overwhelm you. I never believed that it would be an option for me, that my level of control was strong enough. They all believed in me; I only needed to believe in myself.

For all the time I agonized over this night, I never imagined how truly wonderful it would be. My only concern had been for Bella's safety, for making it through the night without the urge to sink my teeth into the supple skin of her neck. I hadn't given credence to the notion that I would find such pleasure in it. And, amazingly, I had.

It was as though she had been designed specifically for me – like two halves of a complex puzzle, we fit together like I never imagined we could. My brothers had tried to explain it to me, tried to tell me that the feeling that level of intimacy would bring was only second to drinking human blood. They couldn't have been more wrong. The taste of human blood had never satisfied me in such a way – never made me feel so alive. If my fate was to be a slave to one addiction or another, Bella would be my drug of choice.

She slept peacefully, wrapped in my embrace. My fingers gently glided along her spine, absently tracing meandering patterns on her skin. She shifted, throwing her arm across my chest, and a small whimper escaped her lips.

I looked down at her face and became concerned when I saw the furrow in her brow. She winced again and a twinge of panic began to rise in my chest. Was she hurt? Had I done something to cause her harm?

Everything had seemed to go so smoothly. In a blissful stupor, so relieved that I was able to successfully fulfill Bella's wish, I hadn't given it a second thought. My eyes began to nervously scan the exposed skin. I gently shifted away from her so I could get a better view. I brushed away the snowy blanket of feathers and the sight caused a lump to form in my throat.

Deep purple marks appeared on her arms, her shoulders, her hips. My hand shook as I reached out to brush the small bruise that was forming on her cheek. I jerked my hand away as though I had been burned and brought the clenched fist up to my mouth as I struggled not to cry out. How could I have been so careless? I should have known that this was all too good to be true.

I pushed off the bed and ran from the room, desperately trying to escape the evidence of my shame. I began pacing the length of the cottage, running my fingers roughly through my hair. How could this have happened? Each and every one of them said that I had nothing to fear, that everything would be perfect. Even Alice had assured me that the wedding night would go off without incident. Did she not see this? Or did she disregard it? Was it expected?

My mind furiously tried to pick apart my memories of the night, pinpointing the exact moment each mark was made and what I had done to cause it. Why hadn't Bella told me that she was in pain? Why hadn't she stopped me? I sank to my knees, utterly ashamed of what I had done. I had taken what should have been an earnest and impassioned expression of devotion and turned it into the stuff of nightmares. _I'm a monster._

The sounds of soft whimpering wrenched me from my inner turmoil, reminding me that there was someone here in greater pain. I took a deep breath, trying to work up the courage to go back to her. Now, more than ever, every touch would have to be carefully measured. I slowly eased myself beside her, taking great care not to jostle her awake. My body trembled as I lay beside her, aching to comfort, but terrified to touch.

She turned, snuggling up beside me, and threw her arm over my chest. It smacked loudly and I winced, imagining the new bruise that would result. I lay my free arm across my face, hiding my shame and stifling the sobs that I could hold back no longer. And so I lay there, still as a statue, frozen in anguish, awaiting the moment when she would awaken and discover the truth.

Seconds…minutes…hours…I couldn't be sure how long I lay there, waiting for Bella to wake. The sun had peeked over the horizon and risen high into the sky before she began to stir. Sometime in the night, her whimpers had become too much for me and I conceded to my need to console her, wrapping her in a gentle embrace, but each movement was tentative, keenly focused on not causing any further damage.

Bella's deep breaths gradually subsided and the low thumping rhythm of her heart increased moderately as she began to wake. I focused my eyes on the canopy above, still hating myself for allowing any harm to come to her and afraid to face her, to see in her eyes the full realization of the monster that I truly am.

Her arms wound more tightly around my neck as she pressed herself against me, draping one of her legs over mine. I could not see whether her eyes were open or closed. I was afraid to look, afraid of what I would see in them. A low gurgle emanated from her stomach, followed by her light laughter.

"What's funny?" I asked. I couldn't possibly see what was funny about this particular morning. I felt her skin flush with heat. Was she embarrassed? Ashamed? Her stomach growled again, eliciting another bout of laughter.

"You just can't escape being human for very long," she replied.

I didn't answer. What could I say? I should be groveling on my knees, begging her forgiveness for the horrifying way I had treated her, but I couldn't force myself to move. Anger coursed through me and the longer I remained silent, the angrier I became with myself.

She shifted and I immediately moved my arms, afraid that the slightest pressure would only do more harm. She propped herself up on her elbow and I could see out of the corner of my eye the concern that etched her face. She stared at me for several beats, seemingly confused by my refusal to look at her.

"Edward, what is it? What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?" I spat, unable to suppress the anger that seeped into my voice. I regretted my words the moment they left my lips, seeing the hurt expression on her face. Her brow furrowed in concentration and she tugged her bottom lip tightly between her teeth. I reached up, gently running my finger across the folds in her brow.

"What are you thinking?"

Her eyes snapped to mine. "You're upset. I don't understand. Did I…?" she stammered.

She was trying to distract me, feigning ignorance. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it." I searched her eyes, trying to ferret out the truth, even if she wasn't willing to admit it. She seemed genuinely surprised by my reaction.

"Hurt?" she asked. Surely she had noticed; she had to be in pain. I shuddered to think of the internal damage I may have caused, harm not as easily visible as the stark contrast of purplish bruises on her pale skin. She sat up, pushing her shoulders back, and rolling her head from side to side as though she was assessing the damage. She seemed confused. Was she in shock?

She finally turned to me. "Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now."

I squeezed my eyes shut. She was lying. "Stop that."

"Stop_ what_?"

I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward!" she gasped. I could smell the scent of fresh tears. "Don't ever say that."

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

I kept my eyes tightly shut, unable to bear the reaction when she finally realized what I had done to her. I winced as I heard her gasp.

"Why am I covered in feathers?" she asked.

_Feathers?_ Was that her only concern? I was growing weary with this charade, pretending that what I had done was anything but heinous. "I bit a pillow," I explained. "Or two. That's not what I'm talking about."

"You…bit a pillow? _Why? _"

Why did she insist on overlooking the obvious. "Look, Bella!" I snarled, carefully taking her arm and stretching it out, forcing her to look at the evidence of my transgression. "Look at _that_."

Her eyes grew wide as they scanned her arm and began moving across the rest of her exposed skin. She pulled her hand from mine and pressed her finger on a large mark on her arm, wincing slightly.

"Oh," she whispered, still scanning her skin, taking inventory of all the damage I had caused her. A lump rose in my throat and the anguish I had been enduring all night made its resurgence.

"I'm…so sorry, Bella," I breathed, nearly choking on the words. "I knew better than this. I should not have – " My stomach twisted in knots, a feeling of nausea sweeping over me. I should have known better. I had fought this, tried to talk her out of it. But I was weak. I gave into temptation, gave in to my urges, and look at the result. "I am more sorry than I can tell you."

I threw my head back against the bed and pressed my arm to my face, wishing that blocking my sight could erase what I had done. The only sounds were Bella's shallow breath and beating heart. She hadn't uttered a word. Was she appalled? Could she forgive me for what I had done? Did I even deserve her forgiveness?

It didn't matter that my vision was obstructed; images of the marks across her skin assaulted my mind. I couldn't escape what I had done. Even if Bella could forgive me, I wasn't certain I could forgive myself. It was selfish of me to agree to this when I knew in my heart that it was dangerous. I should have insisted that we wait until she was changed.

I felt her warm touch on my arm, but couldn't bring myself to look at her. I was so ashamed. Her warm fingers wrapped around my wrist and tugged lightly, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in my disgrace.

"Edward," she whispered. "Edward?"

She huffed and released my wrist. The mattress bounced softly as she sank back into it. "_I'm_ not sorry, Edward," she began. "I'm…I can't even tell you. I'm _so_ happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f –"

My temper flared. "Don't say the word_ fine_. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine." I couldn't bear it. The word fine would tell me nothing about how she truly felt. It was trite and overused and, in this particular case, an absolute, downright lie.

"But I _am_," she whispered.

"Bella," I groaned. "Don't." I didn't understand why she was downplaying this, making it seem as though it were nothing. Had she expected it as well?

"No. _You_ don't, Edward," she snapped.

I was taken aback by the anger in her voice. I had expected her to be angry or upset, but for a very different reason. I moved my arm, restoring my vision. Her eyes flashed with irritation. I stared at her for several beats, trying to decide the correct way to respond.

"Don't ruin this," she said, her voice marginally calmer, yet insistent. "I. Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this," I murmured, lowering my eyes. Did she really not understand the harm I had done? Was she so willing to look past it, to turn a blind eye?

"Cut it out."

I could see that this conversation was going nowhere. I could not forgive myself for what I had done and she, for whatever reason, refused to accept it. I didn't deserve her comfort or her trust. It was that blind trust that put us in this situation to begin with. What could I do to make her see that?

"Ugh!" She threw her hands in the air. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so _inconvenient_ to be a mental mute."

My head jerked quickly to face her. Had I heard her correctly? She wished that I _could_ read her thoughts? "That's a new one," I said. "You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today." She crossed her arms and blew out a puff of air.

"Why?"

She threw up her arms again and she brought them down, smacking them loudly against my chest. Every muscle in my body tensed; worried that she would inadvertently cause more damage to herself. Her eyebrows knit together as she stared at me for several seconds.

"Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now!" she exclaimed. "Or five minutes ago, anyway. I _was_ perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

"You _should_ be angry at me," I whispered.

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

I breathed a heavy sigh. I didn't want her anger, but couldn't help but feel that it was deserved. "No," I admitted, lowering my eyes. I wished I could take it all back, reverse the sands of time and take back the promise I had made. It didn't matter how wonderful our night together was, it didn't make up for the fact that I could have destroyed her. "I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"_That_," she retorted. "That right there is why I'm angry. You are _killing my buzz_, Edward."

_Absurd_. I shook my head, frustrated by barrier that seemed to erect between us overnight. We had our difficulties communicating with one another in the past, but never like this. I couldn't reconcile her feelings about our night together with my own. And, although I wanted to do everything in my power to make her happy, I couldn't alter my mood with the flip of a switch. It would take time – time for me to sort this out, time for her to heal.

Bella blew out a slow breath and began picking at her nails, avoiding my eyes. "We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then – well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." She paused, gesturing to a faint purple bruise on her arm. "I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice – "

_Practice? _She couldn't be serious. I could feel the warm twinge of anger flush across my skin as my temper flared, bubbling up from the pit of my stomach until my mouth could no longer contain the words. "Assumed?" I hissed through clenched teeth. "Did you _expect _this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?"

She remained surprisingly calm through my tirade. My emotions were overruling my brain and I was too weak to stop it, but her silence only served to increase exponentially the guilt I was feeling. Not only had I harmed her physically, but now verbally and emotionally as well. What kind of man does that to his wife on their honeymoon? Living for so long, trying to blend in, to appear human, I sometimes had to remind myself that I was no longer a man. It was never more clear to me than in this moment that I was truly a monster.

"I didn't know what to expect," she began, "but I definitely did not expect how…how…just wonderful and perfect it was." She lowered her gaze as her lip began to tremble. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

I placed a finger under her chin, coaxing her to look at me. I needed to see her eyes, to try and find the answers hidden there, but she wouldn't meet my gaze. "Is that what you're worried about?" I asked. "That I didn't_ enjoy_ myself?"

"I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

The honesty of her words pierced my heart. I had been so worried about her physical pain, so repulsed by the harm I had caused, that I completely overlooked the significance of the night we spent together. Regardless of the side effects, we had come together as man and wife and consummated our marriage. We expressed our love in a deep and powerful way, but all I could think of was my own self-loathing. I allowed my own concerns to overshadow the significance of our time together, tarnishing what, for all intents and purposes, was the most amazing night I could have ever hoped for.

And here I was, verbally berating my wife for having enjoyed herself – making her believe, albeit inadvertently, that I was repulsed by my actions, that I took no joy in the intimacy we shared. I was a fool. Once again, I allowed my thoughts to run rampant, ignoring the truth right in front of me.

"It seems that I have more to apologize for," I whispered. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't…well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…"

Her eyes brightened and a small smile formed at the corners of her lips. "Really?" she breathed. "The best ever?"

I clasped her face in my palms, my thumb gently skimming over the pale discoloration on her cheek. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you." I had mulled over my father's words so many times, replayed them over and over in my head in preparation for our wedding night. If I hadn't heard it in his thoughts, I would have wondered if his encouragement was more to bolster my courage than to adequately assess my control. "He had faith in me, though – faith I didn't deserve."

Bella's mouth opened, but I placed my fingers over her lips. I knew that she would insist that Carlisle was right, that his faith was not misplaced. But I wasn't finished. I wanted her to know everything. I had done a poor job of expressing how I felt up to this point and I didn't want to be misunderstood any longer.

"I also asked him what _I_ should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me…what with my being a vampire. Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely." Her eyes softened and I smiled in response, knowing that she was beginning to understand just how precious she was to me.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." She grimaced a bit. "But I've tasted your blood," I explained, "and there could be no blood more potent than _that_…I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It _was_ more. It was everything." She smiled, reaching up and clasping her hand behind my neck, her fingernails scraping softly against my skin.

How to make her understand? She's human and the depth of emotions she experiences aren't nearly as intense as those for my kind. And, then again, Bella also has a propensity for doing whatever she can to ease the suffering of those around her, even to her own detriment. "That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

Her head cocked to the side, her eyes narrowed. "What does_ that_ mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

"To ease my guilt," I said with a shrug. "I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

Her expression hardened and the hand that was caressing my neck now gripped my chin tightly. Her face was inches from mine, her hot breath blowing across my face, the fire in her eyes undeniable. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. I've never been so happy in all my life – I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me…Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it."

It seemed that no matter what I did, I managed to ruin this moment. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't _you_ be unhappy," she countered. "That's the only think that's wrong here."

My long-dead heart tightened in my chest. Could I move past the guilt, allowing myself to experience the happiness that Bella claimed to feel? If that was what I had to do to ensure her happiness, I would do everything in my power to make it happen, even if it meant bottling up my true feelings for her sake. I nodded. "You're right. The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now."

She raised an eyebrow, clearly nonplussed by my sudden submission. I smiled in an effort to assure her of my words and a slow smile formed on her face, matching my own.

"Whatever makes me happy?" she asked, a hint of mischief in her voice.

I ran over the possibilities in my mind, suddenly concerned that I had offered such an open invitation. I was certain that Bella would test me, concoct something that would undoubtedly put me on edge. I was saved when the sound of churning bubbles echoed from her midsection.

"You're hungry," I said, taking the opportunity to circumvent whatever she had in mind. I pulled a pair of pants from the open suitcase and swiftly put them on. I was about to leave for the kitchen when Bella spoke.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked. I turned to see her sitting in a mound of feathers, pulling bits of fluff from her hair. I ran my fingers through my own hair and watched a smattering of feathers float to the floor.

How could I explain the pillows without frightening her? "I don't know if I _decided_ to do anything last night," I skirted. "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you."

I took a deep breath when I saw the look of shock on her face. What did she expect? There was only so much I could expect from my control and with the intensity of the moment, with the raw passion that flowed through me last night, it was a miracle I had enough restraint to bite only the pillows. I admit, the act of biting a human is, in essence, a moment of intimacy – of, even for the briefest moment, becoming one with that person. I would be a liar if I didn't admit that being so close to Bella didn't remind me of that same feeling, didn't stir up those dormant desires within me. Thankfully, love won out over instinct. I did my best to smile, to put her at ease. My admission had clearly surprised her, but I didn't want her to be afraid.

She smiled weakly and slid off the bed, raising her arms above her head as she stretched. The afternoon light streamed through the window and hit her skin, emphasizing the deep purple bruises that bloomed all over her body. With a clearer view, I could see that it was much worse than I had originally feared. I sucked in a sharp breath and had to turn my head to hide my expression. With fists balled at my sides, I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip to keep from crying out.

"Do I look that hideous?" she asked.

I couldn't bring myself to answer. What could I say? She had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want me to ruin our morning by becoming upset and blaming myself for her injuries, but how else could she expect me to react? Did she honestly think that the marks on her skin wouldn't disturb me? Wouldn't cause an intense feeling of shame?

I heard her sigh and her light steps walked past me toward the bathroom. I stood frozen, unsure of how to act, not wanting to do anything more to upset her than I already had. I listened intently – listened to her shallow breaths, her beating heart that had picked up only a slight tempo, the sound of skin against skin as she inspected herself. What must she think of me now?

She groaned. Was she in pain? I ran to her side. "Bella?" I asked. Her brow was furrowed and she was frowning at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes flitted briefly to mine as she plucked a stray feather from her hair.

"I'll never get this all out of my hair!" she whined, pointing to her head. Honestly, I hadn't even noticed the state of her hair. It was a tangled mess atop her head, matted knots with feathers clinging in small clumps. Of course Bella was concerned about that, not even dwelling on the varied injuries she had sustained.

"You _would_ be worried about your hair," I said as I began helping her dislodge the feathers.

She watched me work through the reflection of the mirror and began to smirk. "How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous."

I continued my task, ignoring her question. As if I could laugh at a time like this. She knew me better than that, but I couldn't blame her for attempting to lighten the mood. I had removed nearly half of the feathers when she crossed her arms and exhaled loudly.

"This isn't going to work," she sighed. "It's all dried in. I'm going to have to wash it out." She turned, wrapping her arms around my waist, and I did my best to keep my posture casual, not to stiffen nervously. "Do you want to help me?" she asked.

I could see where she was leading and I couldn't follow, not so soon after... "I'd better find some food for you," I whispered, easing myself away from her grasp. I stood in the doorway long enough to see her shoulders slump before retreating to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for her.

I busied myself in the kitchen while I listened to the spattering sounds of water coming from the bathroom, hoping that focusing on a new task would distract me from the nagging guilt in the center of my chest. The refrigerator and cabinets had been stocked with an assortment of foods and I began gathering ingredients, pulling from the knowledge I'd gained from television cooking shows.

They make it look so easy. How hard could it be?

Although it was nearly afternoon, breakfast still seemed to be in order for Bella's first meal of the day. With a whisk in one hand, I lifted an egg from the carton with the other and rapped it lightly on the edge of a bowl. The eggshell shattered on impact, leaving me with a fistful of clear viscous liquid smattered with yellow and the pulverized remains of the shell. I cursed under my breath and tossed the offending egg into the sink, wiping my hand on the dish towel that lay beside it.

I gripped the edge of the counter and lowered my head, taking in a slow, steady breath. Even after my conversation with Bella this morning, after her insistence that she was not hurt or angry, the calm front I presented to her was nothing but that – a front. The turmoil still bubbled inside me, eroding me from the inside out and setting me on edge. I had to get control.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I took deep and measured breaths and began to count. I drew on all my previous experiences, all the lessons Carlisle had taught me, in an effort to reign in my emotions. Now was not the time for me to fall apart. The sound of running water halted and I lifted my eyes toward the bedroom. Bella would be emerging soon and what would she think if she saw me like this. I had to pull myself together.

I wiped the back of my hand across my brow and turned back to the counter, lifting another egg from the carton. Gingerly, I tapped it on the side of the bowl and it rewarded me with a uniform fissure across the surface of the shell. I smiled triumphantly as I pulled the two sides apart and the egg slid easily into the bowl. I repeated the action, feeling marginally more in control of myself, and whisked the eggs until they were frothy. They sizzled as they hit the surface of the pan.

The rest of the preparations went much more smoothly and Bella appeared just as I was depositing her omelet onto a plate. Her hair was wet and combed straight, falling down her back. Tiny droplets of water spotted the fabric of her dress where it had collected and fallen from the ends of her hair. She sat at the small tiled table, ankles crossed, watching me with some measure of curiosity. She eyed the plate hungrily as I set it in front of her and had already begun to eat when I went to retrieve a glass of orange juice.

She was nearly halfway finished with the omelet when I set the glass down. She must have been famished. I eased myself in the chair opposite her. "I'm not feeding you often enough," I murmured.

Her eyes lifted to mine as she swallowed the bite of food that was in her mouth. "I was asleep," she responded. She pointed to the plate with her fork as she stabbed the tines through another piece of egg. "This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food Network," I said with a smile. My smile grew wider when my response elicited small chuckle.

"Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers…" I wondered how I would explain the mess. My gaze wandered back to the bedroom, back to the reminders of our night together. The lump in my throat returned and I fought to push it back down. I couldn't allow that to happen again. After all I had done to protect Bella since she came into my life, to see her harmed at my own hands was too much to bear. _Never again_, I repeated in my mind. I had sworn to love, honor, and protect her and I would do just that.

"Thank you," she said, bringing me out of my reverie. She leaned across the space and pressed her lips softly to mine. I returned the kiss, but pulled back as I felt the familiar spark of fire burn in my belly. _Not again._

She lowered her eyes and began tearing small bits of her napkin apart. There was silence for a moment before she looked up at me through her lashes and said, "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?"

I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I wished she would understand. Her words hung heavy in the air and I wished I could lighten the mood. I reached across, lightly caressing her cheek with my fingers.

"You know that's not what I meant," she murmured.

"I know." I breathed a heavy sigh and withdrew my hand, folding my arms across my chest. "And you're right." She frowned and I could see in her eyes that she didn't want to believe me, that she would continue to press the issue. I swallowed thickly and steeled my resolve. "I will not make love with you until you've been changed," I said. "I will never hurt you again."

**A/N: Apologies for the delay – in my defense, I was spending the bulk of my spare time preparing for a Twilight convention (which I'm leaving for tomorrow!). Thanks to everyone for your kind words and continued encouragement. You are the fuel that keeps me going.**

**Thanks to NellyBear85 for her eagle eye in catching my mistakes. And special thanks to my WC buddy, misticbutterfly, who keeps me focused. I love you gals!**


	8. Chapter 8: Diversions

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 8

Diversions

Brightly colored fish scattered as Bella reached her fingertips toward them. Frustrated and determined, she swam after them. I smiled to myself as I watched her glide through the water, floating gracefully above the coral below.

Her bruises had begun to fade and, although she tried her best to sway me, I had kept my promise to her and to myself not to be intimate with her again while she is still human. I swam toward her, but she waved me off. The creatures of the sea were wary of my presence and kept a safe distance. Of course, if Bella had any hope of getting a closer look, that meant I had to maintain my distance from her as well.

Strong legs kicking, she propelled herself upward. I followed and broke the surface of the water just as she was taking in a gulp of air. She took several breaths and shifted her mask to the top of her head before turning her attention to me. "You're scaring the fish," she complained, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

"Not intentionally," I said in an attempt to defend myself. "It's their natural instinct to evade a predator."

"Humph," she huffed. I swam closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist and she reluctantly placed her arms around my neck. I pressed my lips to her temple, tasting the salty water on her skin.

"Done for the day?" I asked.

She sighed, resting against me as I kept us afloat. I could see the disappointment on her face. I had seen that look far too much in the past several days, although I had done my best to keep her entertained, to share the aspects of the island with her that I knew she would enjoy.

A dark shadow passed beneath us, capturing my attention. I turned my head and peered through the water to see a rather large sea turtle floating just a few meters below our feet.

"Bella," I whispered.

Her gaze lifted to mine. I nodded, gesturing to the water below. She released her hold on me and moved her mask into position, lowering her head to the water so she could see. She smiled widely when she lifted her head back out of the water.

"Go," I encouraged. "I'll wait here."

A moment later, she dove under the waves and cautiously swam up to the turtle, taking care not to startle it. I watched from above, certain that she would be sore with me if I did anything to frighten her newest find. The turtle seemed unaffected by her presence as it continued to meander slowly through the currents.

She reached out a tentative hand and I smiled as I watched her palm glide gently over the slick surface of the turtle's shell. He gave a cursory glance back at Bella, but must have determined that she wasn't a threat because he merely continued on his way.

A moment later, she swam back up to meet me. Her expression was animated as she regaled me with the details of her close encounter with the sea creature. Every trace of disappointment had vanished beneath the excitement of her newest discovery, like a child seeing something amazing for the first time. I smiled to myself, thinking about how many moments like this we would soon share when she was changed – when everything would be new to her again.

We began swimming to the shore and I swam ahead, running up the beach to fetch a towel for her. I stooped down, taking the soft terrycloth in my hand, and stood, shaking away the grains of sand that clung to it. I turned to see Bella walking toward me, her silhouette glistening against the backdrop of the setting sun. She was breathtaking and Alice's choice of swimwear left little to the imagination. I wasn't sure whether I should thank her or kill her for some of the clothing she had chosen to pack for Bella.

I swallowed thickly, feeling the familiar burn in the center of my chest that radiated out through my limbs like a wildfire. I gripped the towel firmly in my fist and dug my heels into the sand, suppressing every urge I had to take her in my arms and make love to her in the surf. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to conjure up an image, any image that would derail my current train of thought. The blessing of silence was almost a curse now, making it much more difficult to find distraction from my own thoughts.

"Edward?" Bella's voice broke my concentration. I felt her warm hand lightly touching my own as the fabric of the towel slid through my fingers. I opened my eyes and she was right in front of me, looking up with a quizzical expression.

I smiled weakly, shaking my head to dispel the thoughts that clung to the edges of my consciousness. I took the towel from her hand and wrapped it around her, cocooning her in the soft cloth, protection from the wind and, more importantly, from myself. I placed an arm around her shoulder and led her back toward the house.

Once inside, she went off to the bathroom to shower and change. As the sounds of the spattering water hitting her skin met my ears, I knew I needed to get out of the house. Needing to wash away the saltwater from my own skin, I quickly made my way to the outdoor shower.

The rusting spigot groaned as it twisted, the pipes shuddering as water rushed through them for the first time in nearly a decade. The ice cold spray hit my face and I closed my eyes, relishing in the refreshing sensation. The water cascaded down my back, soaking my hair, and washing away the remnants of the ocean that clung to me. However, the cool water did little to quench the fire burning within me.

What was I going to do? Like a new addiction, I'd had that first taste and I wanted more. It reminded me of the first taste of human blood after abstaining for so long - the way it quenched my thirst, satisfying me in a way that animal blood never could. It was much more difficult to go back to my family's lifestyle afterward. And here I was, in the same predicament. I had a taste of something wondrous and all I could think of was when I would have a chance to partake again.

I squeezed my eyes shut and splayed my hands against the wooden planks surrounding the shower, struggling to find the strength within. _You can do this_, I told myself. Certainly, if I could keep my composure with someone whose blood sang to me like hers did, I could keep my other urges in check. I turned off the water and shook my head, shaking the icy droplets from my hair. I listened and could still hear the spattering water of Bella's shower.

Wrapping a towel around my waist, I walked through the back door and into the bedroom. I dressed quickly, eager to avoid any possibility that I encounter Bella while still in a state of undress. The sounds of the shower ceased just as I was moving into the kitchen.

I made quick work of preparing her dinner, busying myself with the culinary tasks in an attempt to keep my hands and thoughts occupied. A variety of scents drifted through the room, none of which appealed to me, but I hoped would appeal to a human palate.

"Mmm," Bella hummed as she came up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning her cheek against my back. "That smells delicious."

"Thank you." I smiled to myself as I continued to stir. I did my best to focus on my task, but the heat from Bella's body and the sensation of her arms draped so delicately around my waist were quite distracting. Taking deep breaths, I steadied myself. The aromas from the kitchen wafted up to my nose, filling my head with a varied bouquet of scents – the salty sea air breezing through the open window, the faint odor of the pasta rolling in boiling water, the earthy scents of the vegetables sizzling in the pan, the familiar and comforting scent of Bella, and something else I couldn't quite place.

I spun around to face Bella. She was radiant in a pale blue sundress. I pushed her damp hair from her shoulder and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on the exposed skin. My lips pressed softly against the balmy skin of her shoulder, feeling the steady flow of blood just beneath the surface. The aroma of lavender and freesia filled my nostrils, evoking a familiar sense of longing, but there was a new scent laced among the others. I pressed my lips to her skin again, breathing deep the new fragrance. It was unlike anything I had smelled before, sweet like honey, but distinctly unique.

"New shampoo?" I asked, curious to determine the origin of this new scent. Perhaps when Alice had chosen Bella's wardrobe for the honeymoon, she included some lavish soaps as well.

Bella looked up at me, seemingly perplexed by my question. "No," she replied, drawing out the word as though she was unsure herself. "Why do you ask?"

I hesitated for a moment, trying to fathom where this enticing aroma had come from. It must have been her body's own chemical reaction to the prolonged sun exposure, I presumed. Perhaps the excess vitamin D was producing this new aroma. The weather in Forks was dreadfully dreary in comparison to our own tropical paradise. I had already seen the effects of the sun in the tone of her skin and the blush of her cheeks – even her hair had begun to lighten as a result of our many days spent basking in the sun's rays. It only stood to reason that the new environment would affect her in ways that weren't as easily seen.

I shook my head. "It's nothing." I smiled reassuringly. "Hungry?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I'm famished," she exclaimed. She reached up on her toes, kissing me lightly on the cheek, before taking her place at the table. I returned my attention to the stove, finishing up the meal preparations, before presenting the plate to an eagerly waiting Bella.

"Mmm," she hummed as she took her first bite. "This is fantastic."

"Thank you." I smiled as I sat across from her, watching as she enjoyed her pasta primavera. I watched with some measure of satisfaction as she proceeded to eat every last bite on her plate, even so much as soaking up the sauce with a bit of bread.

She finished so quickly that I wondered to myself if I shouldn't have made more. The endless parade of activities I planned for each day seemed to have her working up quite an appetite. I made a mental note to call the caretakers and request that they bring more groceries on their next visit.

"That was…wow," she sighed, sinking back in her chair and patting her full belly. "Remind me again why I never let you cook for me before?"

I chuckled. "Because I don't eat?" I offered.

"Hmm," she murmured to herself, her fingers gliding across her distended midsection. "Maybe I should do the cooking next time."

"Why's that?" I asked, marginally hurt that she wouldn't want me to cook for her.

"Because it's so good and you make so much that I'm going to start to get fat, that's why," she teased.

"Hardly," I scoffed. She was absolutely beautiful and my love for her was too deep to be affected by such a shallow factor as her weight. "Besides," I offered, "you're getting enough exercise during the day to more than make up for it."

She pursed her lips and the small space between her brows puckered. After a moment, she rose from her chair and walked over to me. I opened my arms as she lowered herself into my lap and lay her head on my chest.

"You know…" she began, trailing her fingers across my chest. "All of our activities don't have to be restricted to the daytime." A blush quickly rose in her cheeks as she looked up at me through her lashes. Her trailing fingers gripped the collar of my shirt as she leaned up, pressing her lips firmly to mine.

Her kisses were urgent, pleading, and it took every ounce of strength within me to take her hand in mine and gently push her away. Her lip began to tremble and she quickly tugged it between her teeth to hide her reaction. I kissed her forehead and, with her cradled in my arms, I stood and began walking toward the couch. I laid her on the cushions and leaned over her, smiling sweetly as I fought to maintain control.

I kissed her forehead once more before leaning back away from her. "How about a movie?" I asked, already moving across to the shelf that held the collection of DVD's, carefully avoiding her disappointed gaze.

"Sure, you pick."

I paid little attention to the movie I chose. It was merely another means of distraction; another form of entertainment to keep Bella occupied and, hopefully, keep me away from temptation.  
I leaned back on the couch just as the movie began. Bella snuggled up to my side and I placed one arm over her shoulder, cradling to her me, and strategically wrapping a blanket around her with the other hand. The television screen glowed, but my attention was elsewhere. Taking slow, steady breaths, I struggled to push back the ever-present twinge of desire that pulsed within my chest. But fatigue, it seemed, was my new ally. Within moments of the film's opening, Bella's heart slowed and her soft breathing changed into a quiet snore.

With cautious movements, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the bed. She sunk into the downy softness of the pillows and I pulled the blankets over her before settling beside her for the night. Whether unconscious or intentional, I couldn't be sure, but she nuzzled herself next to me, her slender fingers lightly gripping the fabric of my shirt. I pushed a wayward strand of hair from her face and let my fingers gently glide over the contours of her cheek. Tiny hairs on her skin rose in reaction to my cool touch, but she didn't stir.

I lay there, in revered silence, admiring the creature that called herself mine. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, her steady heartbeat reverberating through me, reminding me of the sensation of my own heart that had long been stilled. Even in the moonlight, her alabaster skin seemed to glow from within, as though the beauty within her radiated out through her pores.  
In sleep she was peaceful, all worries of the day wiped away, awaiting a fresh start with the rising sun. I wondered to myself how long I would be able to resist her, how long I could deny my own urges and her advances. Even more powerful than a physical attraction was the power she had over me. To see her disappointed or unhappy was nearly enough to break me, to cause me to give in to whatever she might ask_. But how to remedy that?_I had concocted every conceivable activity afforded to us by the island and it still wasn't enough. What else could I do?

The last person I imagined myself thinking of on my honeymoon suddenly came to mind. Jacob had never disappointed Bella in the ways that I had. Even when her requests were abundantly reckless, he gave in to every demand. Perhaps it was his lopsided manner of trying to secure her heart, but he gave her something that I never had – freedom. I was always so worried for her safety, so terrified that something might happen, that I often found myself stifling her. If I could wrap her in a bubble and keep her safe for always, I would, but what kind of life would that be?

As odd as it sounded, I wished I could be more like Jacob. I wished I could throw caution to the wind and be daring, give into spontaneity and do something for the thrill of it regardless of the risks. I wondered if I could do such a thing. _Could I? _And if I did, would that show Bella that I wasn't so rigid, that I could be just as fun and exciting as her friend.

All at once, the idea came to me. I cringed at the prospect, but as dangerous activities went, it was safer than some of the alternatives. On the farthest edge of the island stood a great waterfall, one that my brothers and I had frequented on our stays here. I remembered diving from the slippery rocks into the clear pool below and the brief rush that accompanied it. It was perfect. Although it would seem quite dangerous to Bella, I knew that the lake below the falls was deep and devoid of obstacles and, if I waited for her below the falls, I could be sure to catch her if needed.

Bella stirred, whimpering softly and throwing her arm across my chest before nuzzling closer into my side. I wrapped my arms around her and began humming softly until she settled back into a restful sleep. Tomorrow she would see a side of me she hadn't seen before. Tomorrow I would give her something to be excited about, something that, with a little luck, would be enough to stave off her disappointments.

-x-

Once again, Bella slept until the sun was high in the sky. She groaned and stretched beside me as she shook off the effects of a long night of rest. I sat up on my elbows, watching with amusement as she woke. Her eyes lifted to mine and she cocked her head to the side, the corner of her mouth twitching upward in a smirk.

"What?" she asked.

"I just enjoy watching you." I smiled when her cheeks flooded crimson.

She rolled her eyes and smacked me on the chest before leaning up to peck me lightly on the lips. "And what do we have planned for the day? Snorkeling? Swimming? Sand castles, perhaps?" She raised her eyebrows and smiled wider. She was teasing me.

"Cliff diving, actually," I replied with as straight a face as I could manage.

Her breath caught and her eyes widened. Hearing the words come from my own lips, I could imagine what she was thinking because my mind went immediately to the last, nearly disastrous, time she chose to dive from a cliff.

"Cliff….diving?" she stammered.

I nodded. "There is a waterfall on the other side of the island. Not to worry – the cliffs aren't nearly as large as those in La Push – and I'll be with you."

She pursed her lips as she thought over my proposal. I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind – determining whether or not I was serious about this particular venture. "You're sure?" she asked.

"Absolutely." I smiled, taking her hand in mine and kissing her knuckles softly. "I thought a little adventure was in order. We've done just about all there is to do on this part of the island. I thought we could use something new to break up the tedium."

"All right." She nodded. "If you're sure…"

I chuckled at her uncertainty. I hoped that her hesitation was a result of her disbelief that I would suggest something with an edge of danger and not because the idea dredged up unpleasant memories of past experiences. I leaned in to kiss her forehead before rising from the bed to prepare for the day.

I left her to dress while I, once again, busied myself in the kitchen. Since our first morning here together, she had requested that I make her an omelet at each breakfast. She walked into the kitchen just as I was sliding it onto her plate. I turned and faltered, nearly dropping the plate onto the floor.

There she was, mahogany hair cascading down her back, looking stunning in a white bikini and sheer powder blue sarong. I swallowed back the venom that flowed into my mouth as I moved to place her plate on the table, cursing Alice under my breath for the wardrobe she had chosen. Bella must have caught a glimpse of my reaction because the corner of her mouth twitched upward as she sat down.

"I'll be back in a moment," I said, quickly turning back to the bedroom.

Bella chuckled softly as I turned to leave. She had become quite the skilled temptress in the days since we arrived here. It seemed she had not given up in the least in her efforts to sway me. Entering the bedroom, I sat on the edge of the bed, running my fingers through my hair. I could still see Bella sitting in the kitchen, her back to me, her slender legs swinging effortlessly beneath the chair. I lay back and closed my eyes. Her scent still clung to the bedding and it surrounded me, filling my head, enticing me. I pulled her pillow to my face and breathed deep; the scents of lavender, freesia, and the new honey-like scent filling my nostrils. It was intoxicating.

"Edward?" she called from the kitchen.

I jolted upward and across the room, quickly changing my clothing before walking back to her. "Yes, Love?"

"Where were you?"

"Just changing." I lied, briefly laying a hand on her shoulder as I circled the table. "I don't know how long you will want to stay at the falls, so I thought we should take a few things." I removed a couple of bottles of water from the refrigerator and set them on the counter.

She walked to my side, placing her dishes in the sink, and proceeded to gather ingredients for a sandwich. "A picnic sounds nice," she replied, "even if I'm the only one eating it."

-x-

The wind whistled past us as we flew through the lush landscape. Bella had suggested we take the boat to circle the island, but I assured her that running would be much faster. In all honestly, I just wanted the opportunity to stretch my legs a bit, to feel the calming freedom that running always brought to me.

With Bella clinging to my back, I ran the length of the island, stopping periodically to show her some of the breathtaking sights that the island had to offer. Dense foliage and brightly colored flowers guided us to the falls. A group of colorful birds took flight and scattered as we broke through the trees. The falls had remained unchanged through the passing years - not unlike the family that owned it.

The sounds of churning water filled our ears and Bella's gasp was audible when the falls came into sight. I carefully set her down, taking care to ensure her footing before letting her go. She staggered a few steps forward, her neck craning to see the apex of the falls. Seeing them now with her, they seemed to tower a bit more than in my own recollections, but perhaps their height was exaggerated by the nervousness I felt at the thought of her jumping from the top.

"That's really high," she breathed, still looking skyward.

"It is," I agreed, "but I won't let anything happen to you."

She nodded cautiously as she shifted the bag from her back, setting it down on the banks of the small pool at the base of the falls. She kicked off her sandals and turned back to me. "Are you sure?"

I chuckled. "Are you scared?"

She glanced back up at the falls and then back to me before nodding hesitantly. I hadn't intended to frighten her and I hoped that, by bringing her here, I wasn't inadvertently dredging up painful memories.

"We don't have to," I began, but she shook her head.

"No, I want to. It's just…the last time…"

I crossed the small space and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her to me. "Shhh," I soothed. "If you want to go, we'll go. I just thought this might be something new and exciting we could try. I thought…"

"What?" she asked.

"You may think it's silly, but I thought that, because this particular activity has some painful memories tied to it, we could take this opportunity to separate ourselves from that history and create some new memories – happier memories."

She twined her fingers with mine and reached up on her toes, kissing me lightly on the underside of my jaw. "And that's why I love you," she whispered. I smiled, lifting her up and twirling her as her laughter echoed through the trees.

"You're absolutely right," she continued. "Let's make some new memories." She untied her sarong and laid it across the top of her bag. "I'm ready when you are."  
I took her hand and pulled her onto my back once again. "Hold on." The moment I felt her grip tighten, I began circling the waters until we came to the base of the rocky ridge. I heard her breath catch as I quickly scaled the face of the rocks, reaching the summit within seconds.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked, chuckling at her expression as I set her down.

"That's not the part I was worried about."

"You can back out," I assured her. "We don't have to do this."

"No." She shook her head. "I want to. I think I _need_to."

"Together?" I asked.

She nodded and smiled. "Together."

I took her hand in mine and began guiding her to the precipice. She stood close to my side, leaning ever so slightly over the edge to see the height of the drop. She shuddered delicately and curled into my side, her grip on my hand tightening until her knuckles were white.

I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I won't let go," I promised. I gradually moved toward the rim until we were teetering on the edge of the sheer cliff, looking down at the churning waters below.

"Ready?" I asked.

If it were possible, her grip on my hand tightened even more and she nodded shakily.

"On the count of three."

She squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath.

"One…two…three!" With my hand tightly wrapped around hers, together we jumped off the edge. She screamed as we began to fall, but kept her eyes tightly closed. I smiled at the sensation that pulsed through me, at the feeling of weightlessness and the accompanying excitement that followed. Within seconds, we sliced through the surface of the water, plunging several feet down into the cool liquid before beginning to kick back up to the surface.

True to my word, I hadn't let go of Bella's hand. We broke the surface of the water together and she rewarded me with a satisfied smile. Together we had faced our fear and, with any luck, created a lasting memory that would soon overshadow the other.

"That was amazing!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me fully on the lips. She leaned back, the look in her eyes unreadable as she scanned my face. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" I asked. "For not letting go?"

"No," she shook her head, smiling. "Thank you for this – for everything. Thank you for always thinking of me and for doing what you can to make things right – even when they're not your fault."

I pushed back a lock of hair that clung to her forehead, letting my hand cup her cheek. "You know I would do anything for you," I whispered. "My only purpose in this life is ensuring your happiness."

She arched an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"It is."

"In that case…" She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and looked up at me through her lashes. She traced a single finger down the side of my face until it rested under my chin,  
pulling me toward her. She kissed the corner of my mouth, her sweet breath washing over me. "You know what I want?" she asked.  
Judging by her actions, I understood perfectly what she wanted and it was the one thing that I couldn't give. "Bella…"

"Edward…ask me what I want."

I breathed a heavy sigh, but complied. "What do you want?"

A mischievous smile grew on her face. "I want to go again."

We spent the afternoon diving and splashing together. It had been days since I had seen Bella so carefree. It was as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders – perhaps from mine as well. All previous conceptions about cliff diving were gone and replaced with the times we were enjoying together.

After stopping so that Bella could eat her lunch, we lay in the water together, floating gently with the currents. I held Bella's hand to my chest, absently drawing patterns on her palm with my finger.

"Edward?"

I turned my head to the side. She had a question in her eyes, but her lips were silent. I raised an eyebrow – an invitation for her to continue, but she hesitated. If we hadn't been having such an enjoyable afternoon, I might think that the expression on her face was one of guilt.

"What is it?" I prodded.

"I want to jump one more time," she murmured, sitting up.

"Is that all?" I asked, chuckling nervously. "The expression on your face...I thought…"

"Edward," she interrupted. "I want to jump alone."  
_  
Alone?_ Had I heard her correctly? I couldn't imagine why she would want to do so, but more importantly, could I_ allow_her to do so? Was she testing me – seeing how far I was willing to go to allow her to exorcise the painful reminders from her heart?

"Bella, I don't know."

"Please," she pleaded.

"Why?"

Her gaze shifted downward, her fingers twining nervously with one another. "When you were gone…when I…"

I sat up, reaching for her hands. The pain was evident on her face – the pain I thought we had eradicated still had its hold on her.

"You weren't there that first time," she continued. "I can't explain it, but jumping together just isn't enough. I think I need to face my fear alone."

How could I deny her? If that was the price I had to pay for her happiness, I would gladly suffer through the fleeting moment of watching her fall without me beside her. We had already jumped half a dozen times without incident. Surely I could let go enough for her to do this once.

I nodded slowly and she responded with an expression of absolute disbelief. "Really?" she asked.

"Careful," I warned. "Ask again and I may change my mind."

"Then let's go before you do," she said, standing and reaching for my hand. Once more, we scaled the rocky cliff side together, but this time, she stepped up to the edge alone. I gripped her hand in mine, unwilling to let her go.

"I'll be fine." She smiled, squeezing my hand.

"I'll be right behind you."

Against my natural instincts, I stood still as I watched her step up to the edge. She glanced back at me briefly before turning forward and closing her eyes. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes again and, with a burst of energy, threw herself off the edge. An inkling of terror gripped me as I watched her plummet to the waters below. I watched as she made her splash, disappearing beneath the waves. I held my breath, waiting for her to surface. My eyes scanned the bubbling waters, but there was no sign of her.  
_  
No…_A flash of panic began burning in my chest. How could I have been so irresponsible? With a running jump, I dove off the edge, anxious to find my wife. I burst through the rippling waters, my eyes frantically scanning all around me for any signs of Bella. She was nowhere. It was as though she had disappeared completely. Terrified thoughts pounded in my head, overwhelming my senses. I broke the surface of the water, eagerly searching to see if she had swam to the bank without my notice, but she was nowhere to be seen. I found myself fruitlessly searching for her thoughts, but naturally finding nothing.

I raked my hand across my face, bewildered and anxious. How could this have happened? How could she have just disappeared? _How…_

"Gotcha!" The sound of Bella's voice sent a jolt through me and I pivoted around so quickly that her expression quickly changed from one of excitement to concern. "Edward…what?"

I reached for her, needing to feel her, to touch her, to reassure myself that she was real. She was here. She was safe. I gripped her tightly to me, the urgency within me palpable. I cradled her in my arms, stroking her hair, and breathing in her scent. She was safe.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she breathed. "I didn't think…I didn't mean…it was just a joke."

I pressed my hands to either side of her face. Her brow was creased with worry and her eyes were brimming with tears. She gasped when I brought her face to mine, crushing my lips to hers with an urgency that I could not repress. All of our time together, all of our time on this island – the desire within me had built up and I had held it back for far too long – all at once, the floodgates opened and I could not deny it any longer. I needed her.

She responded in kind, knotting her hands in my hair, wrapping her legs around my waist. Her kisses became as desperate as mine. In the wake of specious disaster, the depth of our fervor became tangible.

**A/N: I apologize profusely for the delay. Life sometimes has a tendency to get very hectic and time to write is scarce. It may, at times, take a while for me to update, but I won't abandon the story. I do sometimes give progress updates via Twitter, so if you're interested, you can follow me there sunray16. This chapter took me a bit longer than normal because it's all new material – my interpretation of some of what could have happened in the book that we didn't see. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Thanks to my beta, NellyBear85, for her great ideas and tireless support. And special thanks to misticbutterfly for her continued encouragement – pushing me to keep writing even when writer's block takes hold.**

**One other note on the end of this - not is all as it seems. No worries, I'm not diverting from canon here - just a little tease...**


	9. Chapter 9: Surrender

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 9

Surrender

A tangle of limbs and fevered kisses, we molded together, floating toward deeper waters. I could feel myself falling into her depths, overwhelmed by emotion and intoxicated by her presence. She held tightly to me, but it wasn't enough. Every cell in my body yearned for her touch, like a man dying of thirst, she was the only thing that could quench the fire burning within me.

My lips found purchase on the smooth skin of her shoulder. The scent of honey filled my nostrils as I kissed her balmy skin, swirling and invading every crevice of my mind – enticing and irresistible. I could feel her hands as they caressed the contours of my back, moving gradually lower until they rested on my hipbones. I kissed the tender skin just behind her ear, eliciting a soft sigh. It was that sound – that single moment – that broke the spell. What was I doing? Her hands inched lower, her thumbs sliding between my skin and the elastic of my swimming trunks.

_No_, I thought to myself. This needed to stop before it went too far. I had made a promise to her, a promise to myself. As much as it pained me, I needed to keep it.

My lips found hers once again, pressing more gently now, a kiss of love and devotion rather than wanton lust. With one hand still pressed against her back, I reached the other behind me and softly wrapped my fingers around her wrist. Her grip on the cloth tightened, but I easily pulled her hand away. Her eyes jerked to mine, hurt and pleading.

"Bella," I whispered. "We can't."

She took in a shuddering breath and, for a moment, I truly believed she would begin to cry, but the tears never came. I leaned down, kissing her trembling lip. "You know I love you," I said, "but we just can't. I can't hurt you again."

"You won't," she insisted, reaching her hand around my neck to pull me to her.

She hadn't an inkling of just how difficult it was for me to refuse her. There was nothing I wanted more in the world than to share that intimacy with my wife, to give her everything she desired. But her well-being was much more important than any satisfaction such a union would produce.

"It's not worth the risk. You're far too important."

She lowered her eyes, ineffectively shielding me from her disappointment. I wrapped my arms around her as she laid her head against my chest. We floated there for a time, breathing in unison, unfulfilled and left wanting.

She was quiet for the remainder of the afternoon, caught up in her own thoughts. The carefree atmosphere we created earlier had evaporated. It broke my heart to see her unhappy. She brought her hand up to her mouth, yawning widely as she sat on the sofa, freshly showered and wearing a simple sundress. She leaned back into the cushions, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

"You must be exhausted," I observed. "Why don't you lie down and rest for a while? I can wake you in time for dinner if you like."

She slowly opened her eyes and nodded. "A nap sounds like a really good idea." She pressed her palm to her mouth as she yawned again. "I'm so tired."

I reached across the space, lightly caressing her cheek with my fingertips. "We had a busy day. It's not surprising that you're feeling a bit drained."

She arched an eyebrow. "Interesting choice of words," she said with a smirk.

"You knew what I meant," I scoffed.

She snickered under her breath as she rose from the couch and turned toward the bedroom.

"Would you like me to lay with you for a while?" I asked.

Her head turned back, a small smile on her face as she held an outstretched hand. Wasting no time, I appeared at her side, taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom. She collapsed on top of the plush down pillows, tangling her legs in the sheets. I lowered myself beside her and she moved close, curving herself around me, one arm and one leg draped across my body, her head resting on my chest.

Within seconds she was snoring softly, evidence of the toll the day's activities had taken on her. I ran my fingers through her long tresses, twirling the tendrils at the nape of her neck around my index finger. Her heart thumped a steady rhythm, like the ticking of a clock. I could measure my existence by the beats of her heart, however numbered they may be. _Thump, thump, thump, ba-thump._

I cocked my head to the side, listening intently. _Thump, thump, thump, ba-thump. _I felt a twinge of concern as I listened to her heartbeats, pulsing at a rate more quick than I could recall them beating before and it sounded as though she had developed some sort of arrhythmia. I scanned through my medical knowledge for possible causes, but they were too varied to pinpoint without testing. I made a mental note to confer with Carlisle if it continued.

Bella sighed softly, snuggling even closer to me and I wrapped my arm around her, holding her there. I nuzzled my nose in her hair, breathing in her scent. I could recall with perfect clarity every moment we had spent together like this. A series of memories played out in my mind, like the first night I spent in her room in Forks, completely enamored with this girl and terrified of the way she made me feel. I remembered the night she said she loved me, changing me completely, and all the evenings we spent chatting idly about everything from literature to the prom, while keeping a cautious ear for her father. I recalled the first night she spent in my home, curled on my couch and failing to stay angry with me and then another night she stayed with me, the night I asked her to be my bride. So many nights together, so many hours spent with her in my arms, and none of them properly prepared me for our first night together as man and wife.

Every touch, every sigh, was etched in my flawless memory. I had surprised myself with the level of control I was able to maintain. Just as Bella had said, we were meant to be together. The night, of course, was not without its mishaps. I still felt physically ill when I thought of the damage I had inflicted on her body, but she didn't seem to be bothered by it in the least. Perhaps I had overreacted a bit. I wondered idly if I would be able to try again. Armed with the knowledge I was not privy to on our first encounter, could I keep any harm from befalling her?

I shook my head, scattering my ridiculous thoughts. It was monstrous of me to consider it, to allow my libido to cloud my judgment. To be in such close proximity to her, breathing in the delectable new aroma that came off her skin, seemed to be having a profound effect on me. She was enticing me, drawing me in, and she wasn't even awake. Had she any idea how much I wanted her in this moment, she would barely need to persuade me and I would gladly give in to her demands.

_Stop it_, I whispered to myself. What was happening to me? It felt as though I had traveled back in time to the day we met, to the day that I nearly killed her. I had never smelled something so sweet, so tempting in all my life. I had wanted her so badly that I could barely control myself. It took everything I had to run from her. If I had stayed a moment longer, she would have been my victim rather than my bride.

I shuddered at the thought. A single lapse, a singular moment of weakness, and I could have unknowingly destroyed my own chance at eternal happiness. But now, that familiar sense of want, that undeniable urge, was coming over me and I didn't know if I would have the strength to deny it.  
I quietly shifted myself from Bella's grasp and, when my feet touched the floor, I was gone. A fraction of a second later, I found myself sitting atop a high palm tree overlooking the ocean. I breathed in the crisp sea air, cleansing my lungs of the seductive perfume that had begun to overwhelm me.

The ocean waves crashed below me, sending up a salty spray that glistened in the setting sun. I closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of the rolling waves, trying to clear my mind. My thoughts concerned me. What if I wasn't able to control myself? What if my emotions took over and I gave in to desire? It had been a week since we arrived, a week since I had fed. Harming Bella in a moment of passion was one thing, but allowing the possibility that the instinct to feed might come into play was unacceptable.

The tree shuddered as I leaped high into the air and dove into the roaring waters. There wasn't large enough game on the island to sustain me – for that I would have to go to the mainland. But a trip to the mainland would take too long and Bella would wake before I returned. For now I would have to make do with the sea life that surrounded the island.

I sliced through the waters, hunting for large prey. I passed thousands of colorful fish, crustaceans scurrying on the sea floor, lazy sea turtles floating with the currents. Several miles off the coast, I caught the scent of something larger. I sunk to the bottom, my eyes scanning the dark waters until I saw it. Twenty feet above me, gliding stealthily along, was a large male, bull shark. Emmett enjoyed the challenge of taking down a shark, but I never much cared for the taste.

This wasn't a time to be concerned with my discriminating palate. I needed to be prepared for every possibility. I could plan a trip to the mainland soon enough, but I needed something to sate my thirst now.

I swam silently, approaching the shark from beneath. Although seemingly disinterested, he was keenly aware of my presence. His tail swished back and forth, propelling him forward at a rapid pace, his speed increasing as I closed the distance between us. I twisted around until I was facing the belly of the shark and stretched my arms upward, firmly grasping the shark's fins. He thrashed and fought my grip, his teeth snapping ferociously as he tried to escape his attacker. He was strong - stronger than any lion or bear. I could see why Emmett enjoyed the fight.

I examined the creature as I restrained him, looking for the most efficient site to bite. I could hear the rapid rhythm of his heart beating near his gills. I grimaced, remembering how distasteful a cold-blooded creature such as this tasted. I fought my revulsion nearly as hard as I fought the shark. My legs kicked, propelling me to the surface. If I was to feed on this creature, at least I could do so at the surface to avoid taking in gulps of saltwater along with the blood.

Together we broke the surface of the water and the shark continued to writhe in my grasp, its gills opening and closing uselessly as it gasped for breath. _This is for Bella_, I told myself. I swallowed back the venom in my throat and squeezed my eyes shut. In a flash of movement, I opened my mouth and lunged, sinking my teeth into the thick hide. The skin felt like sandpaper against my tongue as I bit down, tearing out a large hunk. I spit it out, returning my attention to the wound as the blood began to pool. The tepid liquid poured down my throat. I gulped as quickly as possible, hoping to avoid the taste of the fish's blood.

The shark's movements stilled as I drained the life from him. With blood in the water, I could feel the shift of the current as several other sharks circled below, coming to investigate. I released the desiccated carcass, wiping my mouth with my forearm and shuddering as the lingering aftertaste of the shark's blood coating my tongue. It was repulsive, but it still served its purpose in satisfying my thirst.

With my thirst sated, I swam back to shore and circled the house, entering through the door that led into the other bedroom. Scattered feathers blew across the floor from the breeze of the open door. I could still hear the soft breathing of Bella asleep in the adjacent room. Thankful she had not seemed to notice my absence, I strode to the bathroom and peeled off my soaked clothing, letting it fall in a sopping puddle on the floor.

I showered quickly; washing away all evidence of my hunting trip and taking extra care to rinse my mouth to eliminate any lingering taste of the shark's blood. I threw on a loose fitting pair of khaki pants and a white button down shirt before running my fingers through my unkempt hair and returning to Bella. Quietly, I slid next to her and, just as before, she wrapped herself around me as though I had never left. She sighed and a small smile curved at the corners of her lips. Her eyes gradually fluttered open and I leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked as she stretched her arms above her head.

"Almost two hours. If you'd like to go back to sleep, I can start preparing your dinner and wake you when it's ready."

"That's okay," she replied, shaking her head. "I think I'd like to cook for myself tonight."

"Something wrong with my cooking?" I asked.

She arched an eyebrow and smiled, reaching up to stroke my cheek. "Absolutely nothing is wrong with your cooking. You know that. I just miss being able to do it for myself. You've been spoiling me."

"And with great pleasure," I replied. "I've been trying for quite some time to spoil you. You haven't made that easy in the past if you recall."

She rolled her eyes as she scooted herself to the edge of the bed and padded barefoot across the floor to the dresser. She picked up a hair tie and pulled her hair back, wrapping it up in a messy bun. I followed her to the kitchen and sat at the counter as I watched her work.

She rebuffed my offer of assistance several times before finally giving in and allowing me to slice some fruit for her. The meal was simple – a large salad with grilled chicken, a plate of assorted cheeses, and slices of fresh mango, grapes, and papaya. She had accused me of making meals that were too large for one human to consume, but it was not lost on me that she prepared nearly as much as I had been, if not more.

It didn't take much persuading for her to allow me to clean up. She even refused the offer of a movie, saying that she would rather go back to bed. I watched after her as she went back to the bedroom to change into her nightgown. I was beginning to grow a little concerned at her level of fatigue. Some was to be expected, but perhaps I was overestimating her ability to keep up with the activities I had planned. Tomorrow we would slow things down a bit.

Bella was still in the bathroom when I entered the bedroom. I pulled my shirt over my head and swapped my slacks for a comfortable pair of jogging pants before climbing into the bed. I leaned back against the wooden headboard, crossing my arms behind my head, and waited. This was both my favorite and my most trying time of day. To end each day with Bella in my arms was absolute bliss – a dream come true, but with that came temptation.

The bathroom door creaked open and my eyes automatically shifted to the doorway, but I was not in any way prepared for what I would see. Bella strode confidently through the door in what could only be described as the essence of seduction trimmed in black lace. I fought to control my expression, but the sight was so unexpected that I couldn't help but be caught off guard. I swallowed back the venom that pooled in my mouth and tried with all my might to maintain a calm demeanor.

Like the skilled temptress that she was, she spun around, making sure that I had a clear view of every angle. _Alice_! I swore under my breath when Bella's back was turned. "What do you think?" she asked in mid turn.

I shifted uncomfortably and cleared my throat. "You look beautiful. You always do."

Her eyes pinched infinitesimally. "Thanks," she muttered as she climbed into bed.

I held out my arms for her and brought her to me, feeling marginally more at ease when I could no longer see the temptation that I was now holding against me. Her skin was blazing against mine and her heart continued to beat at an unsteady rhythm.

After several seconds of silence, she spoke. "I'll make you a deal," she said.

"I will not make any deals with you." _Especially not when you're dressed like that._

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering," she argued.

"It doesn't matter."

She let out a loud sigh. "Dang it," she exclaimed. "And I really wanted…Oh well."

I closed my eyes and held my breath. I knew what she was doing and I was absolutely certain she was fully aware of how her words affected me. What did she want? Was it the same thing she had been asking for since we arrived or would it be something else – something tangible? Other than physical intimacy, she rarely asked for anything. Curiosity began to eat away at me until I couldn't resist any longer.

"All right," I gave in. "What is it you want?"

"Well, I was thinking…" she paused, nibbling on her bottom lip as she traced patterns on my chest with her index finger. "I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me. Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. Still…eighteen, nineteen. It's really not such a big difference. It's not like I'm going to get crow's feet in the next year."

Did I hear her correctly? Up until now, she had insisted that she didn't want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary. At one point, I was nearly convinced she would ask me to change her here.

"You would wait. You would stay human," I murmured, still in disbelief at the offer. It was what I had been working so hard to gain – more time. If I could get her to wait a few more months, maybe she would wait longer. Maybe there was still a chance that she would decide to stay human, still a chance for me to protect her soul. But that wasn't a request, it was an offer. _An offer for what?_

_Of course._ It was the same request, the same thing she had been asking for all along, but this time the stakes were much higher. Coupled with the fact that I was already beginning to lose the battle against my own temptation, it was near torture that she dangled such a desirable offer in front of me.

"Why are you _doing_ this to me?" I seethed, my tormented emotions getting the better of me. "Isn't is hard enough without all of this?" I clutched the hem of her lacy garment and showed it to her, emphasizing my point. We stared at each other for a moment. I could see the reflection of my anger in her eyes and instantly felt sorry for it. Had she no idea how cruel it was for her to test me like this? Did she not care at all for her own wellbeing? _No_. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't. I loosened my hold on her gown, feeling the weight of defeat as the one thing I had been fighting for slipped through my fingers as easily as the silk and lace of her lingerie. Her offer would mean nothing if she didn't survive to fulfill it.

"It doesn't matter," I said, shaking my head. "I won't make any deals with you."

She sat up a little. "I want to go to college."

"No you don't." I crossed my arms and averted my eyes, choosing instead to stare at the ceiling. "And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you."

"But I _do_ want to go," she insisted. "Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want – I want to be human a little while longer."

I pinched my eyes closed and blew out a sharp breath. I didn't know how much more of this I could take. "You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

"Yes, but…well, I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before."

"What's that?"

"Guess," she whispered. I felt the bed shift and her soft lips met mine as her fingers brushed against the hair at the back of my neck. I returned the kiss. I already knew what she was asking. There was no need for guesses. I wrapped my arms around her, gently pulling her to my chest, putting an end to her advances.

"You are_ so_ human, Bella," I chucked. "Ruled by your hormones."

"That's the whole point, Edward," she murmured against my chest. "I _like_ this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me."

She brought her hand to her mouth, stifling a yawn. My ally, fatigue, had returned...and not a moment too soon.

"You're tired. Sleep, love." I rubbed small circles on her back as I began to hum her lullaby, attempting to lull her to sleep.

After a few moments, she whispered. "I wonder why I'm so tired." I could hear the sarcasm in her voice. "That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything."  
I chuckled lightly. Bella, observant as ever – I should have expected that she would pick up on that. She had her methods and I had mine. I never promised to fight fair. She certainly wasn't. It was already an uneven battle, at best, with Alice on her side.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better," she mumbled to herself.

Her comment surprised me. Was she not rested? She had never slept more peacefully than while we were here. "You've been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry you were slipping into a coma." Admittedly, I missed her nocturnal musings. It was the one time I was able to get even a glimpse into her mind.

"I haven't been tossing? That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

"You've been having nightmares?" I remembered what it was for her to have nightmares and she was right – she was anything but quiet. She tried not to speak of them, but I knew, for a time, she still had nightmares about being abandoned by me…again. Certainly that couldn't be the cause now. What could be bothering her so that would cause her unrest?

"Vivid ones," she explained. "They make me so tired." She paused to yawn. "I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night."

I wish she had. If she hadn't said anything now, I wouldn't even realize she was having them. "What are they about?"

She shrugged. "Different things – but the same, you know, because of the colors."

"Colors?"

"It's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

An unnerving feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. Could she still be having those same dreams about my leaving? I'm here, we're married, on our honeymoon – what on earth could be scaring her. Was it the change that bothered her? Was she having nightmares about being bitten or about becoming a newborn? "What is frightening you?" I asked.

She began to shake and I held her closer to me. "Mostly…"

"Mostly?"

She was silent for several beats before she whispered. "The Volturi."

I pulled her tighter to me, pressing my lips firmly to the crown of her head. "They aren't going to bother us anymore," I promised. "You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason." I felt a twinge of regret at my words. Soon to a vampire as old as Aro could mean nearly a decade – if she wanted to remain human for a while longer, there certainly was no rush to change her. I hoped she hadn't misunderstood.

When she didn't respond, I shifted so I could see her face. Her mouth was set in a tight line and her eyes were filled with a mixture of sadness and fear. It pained me to see her in distress. "What can I do to help?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "They're just dreams, Edward."

I cupped her face in my palms, gently stroking her cheeks with my thumbs. "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

"They're not all bad. Some are nice. So…colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening – I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really _bright_ here."

"Do you want to go home?" I had already begun making mental preparations for an early departure before even waiting to hear her response.

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

I lay back on the bed, pulling her with me until her head rested on my chest. "We can stay as long as you want, Bella," I whispered.

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

I blew out a breath. Our conversation seemed to have come full circle. I stroked her back lightly and began humming again. Within seconds, I could hear her light snore and knew that I had, once again, successfully thwarted her attempts to seduce me.

But even still, how much longer could I deter her? It seemed that each moment we spent together brought me closer to the edge. I was already teetering and the slightest push may send me headlong into temptation. If she did decide to remain human for a longer period, it was almost inevitable that I would falter and give in to her charms. I could only pray that I would be more prepared the next time.

She slept soundly in my arms, free of any evidence of the nightmares she spoke of. It troubled me that she could be suffering silently while she slept, yet appearing so peaceful. I closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of the night – Bella's soft breathing, the beating of her heart, the crashing waves just outside, the buzzing of insects. I often found myself taking this time to reminisce, to play back my most cherished moments with Bella like a spool of film in my mind's eye.

I also found myself thinking of home, thinking of how different things would be when we returned. Esme was eager to complete her renovations on the cottage and even more excited to give it to Bella and myself. I wondered if it would be complete when we arrived – if any of Bella's things would be taken from her home with her father and set up in our new home together. Or if we stayed here for an extended period, would we move instead to the house in New Hampshire, just in time for the Fall semester? The possibility of actually attending Dartmouth rather than using it as a cover story for her change was becoming more and more appealing. I could just imagine how Bella would flourish in such an environment.

Bella shuddered in my arms and gasped, suddenly sitting up and glancing around the room.

She seemed to be in a daze, almost as though she were still asleep. "Bella?" I asked, sitting up and wrapping my arms around her arms, shaking her gently. "Are you all right, sweetheart?"

Her confused eyes met mine and she gasped again. "Oh." Her bottom lip began to tremble and I was unprepared as tears began to flow from her eyes.

"Bella!" I burst out, cupping her hand in my palms and trying to wipe away the tears with my thumbs. "What's wrong?" The tears flowed freely from her eyes and her entire body quivered under my touch. Was it another dream? I couldn't remember seeing her ever react so violently to a nightmare.

"It was only a dream," she howled, her features crumbling in utter despair.

I pulled her into my lap, cradling her to me, and began rocking in an attempt to soothe her. "It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." She continued to sob in my arms and I felt completely helpless. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare," she sniffed, shaking her head. "It was a _good_ dream."

_A good dream?_ I was at a loss for words. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because I woke up," she sobbed, throwing her arms tightly around my neck.

I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. Here I thought she had woken up, terrified from the images in her dream, and I couldn't have been more wrong. "Everything's all right, Bella," I soothed. "Take deep breaths."

"It was so real," she whimpered. "I _wanted_ it to be real."

"Tell me about it," I offered. "Maybe that will help."

"We were on the beach…" She paused, leaning back to see my face. I could see her tear streaked cheeks in the moonlight, her eyes still filled with such sadness. Her eyes searched mine, but I didn't understand why. It was infuriating that I couldn't see into her mind, that I was powerless to help her.

"And?" I asked after several moments of silence.

A fresh batch of salty tears fell from her eyes. "Oh, Edward…"

She was really beginning to frighten me. I hadn't seen her like this, not in a while. The last time I saw her like this, she had just told Jacob that she had chosen me. She couldn't possibly have dreamed about what it would have been if she had chosen him. Could she? The familiar feeling of jealousy and doubt pricked my heart.

"Tell me, Bella," I implored.

She didn't utter a word. Instead, she pulled her arms tighter around my neck and crushed her lips to mine. Her kisses were desperate, tormented. I returned her kisses to reassure and comfort her, but the more I responded, the more urgent her kisses became. It was a mirror image of the scene from the waterfall earlier. She shifted up, pressing herself against me as she continued to kiss me fiercely. I could feel myself teetering on that proverbial edge, the need to comfort her through touch – to reestablish that deep connection – was overwhelming.

But I couldn't. I gripped her shoulders and gently pushed her back. "No, Bella."

Her whole body seemed to go limp as a fresh burst of salty tears poured down her cheeks. What was I to do? Nothing I did gave her the comfort she needed and what she seemed to crave with an almost debilitating hunger was the one thing I struggled against giving her.

"I'm s-s-s-orry," she stammered.

I couldn't take it anymore. She was breaking my heart. I reached out, pulling her tightly to me. "I can't, Bella, I can't!" I deplored, but I could already feel myself slipping.

"Please," she whispered. "Please, Edward?"

That one small word was my undoing. I couldn't deny her any longer. Her need was tangible and mine was consummate. I pressed my lips to hers, surrendering to desire, giving myself over to my unequivocal yearning for her touch. In the darkness of the night, we came together once again as man and wife, no longer able to deny our mutual hunger for one another. 

**A/N: *sigh* So Edward FINALLY gave in. Sorry for the tease at the end of the last chapter – some of you seemed afraid I was going to veer off-canon – but nothing to fear, this fic will remain canon until the end. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. I had a lot of fun with this one and am getting excited as we get closer to the return home.**

**For those who have asked, I'm going to do my best to get through Jacob's section of the book before the movie release in November since that's the general consensus as to where the two movies will break. And another quick note, if you do ask a question in your review (which I love), please be sure to sign in first so I can respond to you. I've enjoyed conversing with the few of you who have asked questions or PM'd me about the story.**

**Thanks to my beta, NellyBear85, for helping me think things through and snapping me out of it when my perfectionist brain hones in on minute (and probably insignificant) details. And thanks to misticbutterfly for her friendship and support, even in spirit.**


	10. Chapter 10: Enlightenment

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

**A/N: Today is Edward's 110****th**** birthday, but you get the present! In celebration of his special day, I'm posting this chapter a week ahead of schedule. I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 10

Enlightenment

There were no words to describe the emotions that flowed through me. I was completely unprepared for Bella's sudden tears. It hadn't been planned and it certainly wasn't expected, but I couldn't deny that, in the aftermath, I felt a clear sense of relief. If anyone had told me a week ago that I could be intimate with Bella again without incident, I would have called them a liar. I knew my own strength and, even better, I knew how fragile her human body could be. I never imagined we could come together in such a way and that the result would be pure joy. It was about so much more than the physical act – this had been the very definition of making love.

Perhaps it was the fresh blood coursing through my veins or the knowledge I had gained since our wedding night or even the sense of release after trying to avoid it for so long. Whatever factors were responsible, the result was an act of love that astounded even my own skeptical self.

What began as desperate kisses and groping hands became tender caresses and gentle movements. The tense control I held over myself became second nature as we moved together. It came so naturally that thoughts of harming her never appeared in my mind. It wasn't possible. Her needs dictated my body's actions and I was astounded by the results.

The night wasn't entirely without incident. After succumbing to my desire and her need, a moment of passion took hold. Our kisses were desperate and our hands searching, touching every available surface until there was nothing left. Both my clothing and hers ended up in a tattered heap on the floor –torn and forgotten. There were no barriers between us, nothing separating us from merging together as one, from knowing each other as man and wife. Just as I recalled from our first night here, we fit together so perfectly that I could not deny she was designed by the heavens just for me. It was a beautiful dance, our bodies moving in sync with one another, each offering what the other needed and meeting it in the most delicious way.

Her skin was perfect, her body unharmed – I couldn't say the same for the headboard. At one point in the night, a sensation coursed through my body that caused every cell to tingle with energy. I felt like a bundle of nerves with synapses firing all at once, taking over my body and overwhelming my senses. For a split second, I did feel a sense of panic that I might harm Bella and I gripped the sturdy wood of the headboard to prevent my hands from crushing her. The wood cracked and splintered as my entire body went rigid in moment of pure ecstasy.

It felt as though I was floating on a cloud, weightless and blissful in a stupor that could only be described as what I imagined it felt like to be drunk. Bella slept peacefully cradled in my embrace, a small smile playing on her lips. I could only hope that our unexpected time together could keep away the bad dreams. She still hadn't explained what had awoken her, what had upset her so much that it led her to pounce on me. I pondered the idea long into the evening until the sun was rising in the sky.

The sun's golden rays cascaded through the windows, illuminating her nude silhouette, bringing out the auburn accents in her hair. I ran a single finger along the smooth expanse of her back, still marveling at the events of last night. I had half a mind that nearly believed it had all been my imagination. I had fought against it, believed it so impossible, that I was finding it difficult to come to terms with the idea that it _had_ happened and that it was possible…and that I wanted to do it again.

If I could blush, my cheeks would be a fiery crimson. To have a taste of something forbidden was enticing and unnerving, to realize that the unattainable was now very much within reach was almost too much for me to handle. I felt I may explode from the feeling of elation that coursed through me. No longer would I have to deny my needs or hers, no longer would I have to make excuses or diversions, or endure her feelings of sadness and rejection. And perhaps, even more importantly, maybe now that we realized we _could_ do this, that we could be that for each other, she really would decide to remain human.

The sun was rising higher in the sky and Bella continued to sleep soundly. I was becoming concerned that she may still be asleep when the cleaning crew arrived. Slowly, I edged myself off the bed. From my new vantage point, I could see more of Bella's exposed skin and I felt a heightened sense of satisfaction when I didn't see a single mark.

I crossed the room, dressing quickly, and picked up my phone before walking through the front of the house and out the door. I walked twenty paces into the soft sand before dialing and bringing the phone to my ear. The cleaning crew was scheduled to arrive in just under three hours.

Returning to the bedroom, I found Bella curled up on her side, her expression serene. I carefully lowered myself beside her, but she didn't stir. She must have been in a deep sleep not to notice the shifting of weight on the bed. Not wanting to disturb her, I crossed my arms behind my head and closed my eyes, waiting for her to awaken.

But like some sort of gravitational pull, even in her deep sleep she drifted gradually closer until she was once again draped across my chest. Another hour passed before she finally began to wake. Her breath and heart quickened, but she didn't raise her head to see me as she normally would. She laid there for quite some time before finally propping her head up on her elbow.

"How much trouble am I in?" she asked, her voice soft and timid.

_So that was why she was silent for so long. _"Heaps," I replied sarcastically. I looked up at her and smiled, amused that she thought I would be angry with her.

Her eyes widened briefly before she blew out a sharp breath. "I _am_ sorry. I didn't mean…Well, I don't know exactly what that _was_ last night."

She shook her head, but I placed a finger under her chin, coaxing her to look at me. "You never did tell me what your dream was about."

She lowered her eyes and her cheeks flushed furiously. "I guess I didn't – but I sort of _showed_ you what it was about."

"Oh." What does she…_oh_. "Interesting."

"It was a very good dream," she whispered. _Indeed it was._ "Am I forgiven?"

"I'm thinking about it," I teased.

She laid her palms flat on my chest and pushed herself upright. An odd expression crossed her face and her skin paled just before she fell back down to the bed.

"Whoa…head rush."

I reached out, wrapping my arms around her. I gently stroked the side of her face, concerned by her dizzy spell. "You slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"Twelve?" she asked in disbelief as her eyes surreptitiously scanned the length of her body.

"Is the inventory complete?"

She nodded. "The pillows all appear to have survived."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er, nightgown." I gestured to the end of the bed where a few remnants of her lingerie still clung to the sheets.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did, too," I replied with a smirk.

"Were there any other casualties?"

I glanced behind me at the damaged headboard. "I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame."

Her eyes widened as she surveyed the damage. She reached out, tracing the deep impressions in the wood. "Hmm. You'd think I would have heard that."

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved."

"I was a bit absorbed." She bit her lip and her cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red.

I reached up, cupping her cheek in my palm. It blazed under my touch and a flash of sadness overcame me. "I'm really going to miss that," I whispered. If she did decide to proceed as planned and become immortal, that was just one of the many things I would miss. With her silent mind, it was one of the few means I had to discern her thoughts.

She seemed to be studying me, as though she were trying to read my thoughts.

"How are _you_ feeling?" she asked.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?"

"You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime," I said with a chuckle.

"I _feel _guilty," she muttered.

I rolled my eyes in response. "So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense."

"The word _seduced_ implies a certain amount of premeditation," she countered.

I nodded. "Maybe that was the wrong word."

"You're not angry?"

"I'm not angry."

"Why not?"

I analyzed her expression for a moment, trying to determine if she was incredulous or just merely curious. It appeared that she fully expected me to be angry with her. I guess I should have expected as much – my reaction after our first night together was less than jovial.

"Well…I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I glanced briefly at the headboard, shuddering at the thought of what would have happened if it had been Bella's arms I was gripping at the time. "Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect."

A slow smile spread across her face. "I_ told_ you that it was all about practice." She reached out, poking a finger in my chest.

_Of course, how silly of me._ I was about to object when her stomach growled loudly, causing me to laugh. "Breakfast time for the human?" I asked.

"Please."

She nearly jumped out of bed, but it appeared her stomach was too enthusiastic for her body to keep up because she teetered precariously across the floor. I appeared at her side, gripping her arms to steady her.

I studied her nervously, wondering if perhaps she was coming down with something. "Are you all right?"

She waved me off. "If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund."

I watched uneasily as she dressed, concerned that she may have another dizzy spell. Much to my relief, the longer she stayed upright, the more surefooted she became. I silently chastised myself for jumping to conclusions once again.

Just as the night before, she insisted on cooking for herself. The eggs sizzled as they slid from their broken shells onto the searing pan. Bella's foot tapped impatiently on the floor as she watched the eggs, her stomach continuing to growl loudly, demanding sustenance. Before even a few minutes had passed, she was sliding the eggs onto a plate.

"Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?"

"Since now," she replied with a shrug.

I shook my head as I gathered the empty carton to throw away. The sight of the trash bin caught me off guard. "Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week?" I mused. I pulled out the trash bin to show her as I tossed in the newly empty carton. There were several already filling the bin. I knew that she had been consuming more than she normally would since we had been here, but I hadn't realized the extent until I saw the evidence for myself. It almost didn't seem possible.

"Weird," she mumbled through a mouthful of eggs. "This place is messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, won't we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

I pulled out the chair beside her and sat down, folding my hands in front of me. "You can give up the college pretense now – you've gotten what you wanted," I grumbled. In the wake of everything that happened, I almost wished I had agreed to her lopsided proposal. I blew out a slow breath. "And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

"It wasn't a pretense, Edward," she scoffed. "I don't spend _my_ free time plotting like some people do." She paused, cutting her eyes at me. "_What can we do to wear Bella out today?_"

I laughed at her absurd impersonation.

Her eyes softened. "I really do want a little more time being human." She reached across the table, her fingers sliding suggestively down my bare chest. "I have not had enough."

"For _this_?" I asked, wrapping my fingers around her wrist as her fingertips reached my navel. "Sex was the key all along? Why didn't I think of that?" I muttered, smacking myself in the forehead with my free hand. "I could have saved myself a lot of arguments."

"Yeah, probably." She laughed.

"You are _so_ human," I muttered.

"I know." She smiled sweetly, shrugging her shoulders as she took another bite of her breakfast.

Could it be that what I had hoped for was really going to happen? The time I had sought was now freely given…now that we had discovered that we could be intimate with one another? I dared to hope. "We're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

She nodded. "I'll probably fail out in one semester."

"I'll tutor you," I volunteered, finding it impossible to hide my smile. I couldn't believe it. It was really happening. "You're going to love college."

"Do you think we can find an apartment this late?"

I lowered my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck with my palm. "Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case."

Her fork clattered onto her plate and she stared agape at me for a moment before regaining her composure. "You bought a house?"

"Real estate is a good investment." I shrugged.

She stared at me for a moment before picking up her fork again. "So we're ready, then."

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little longer…"

She shook her head. "Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks." Her tone was sarcastic, but she was clearly teasing. "How much longer can we stay?"

"We're fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renée…" I paused, cocking my head to the side. I could hear the distant sound of a boat's motor approaching. The cleaning crew would be here in mere moments.

"A few weeks," she repeated as she slowly chewed. I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind. "So I was thinking – you know what I was saying about practice before?"

_Insatiable! _"Can you hold on to that thought?" I asked, raising a finger to my ear. "I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here." I rose from the chair and strode to the bedroom, pulling a clean shirt over my head before returning.

I reached for her now empty plate and placed it in the sink. "Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south –"

"I don't want to go out," she whined. "I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

I turned to face her. She was standing with one hand on her hip, looking impossibly sexy for someone so irritated. "All right," I conceded, "whatever you'd like." The wooden boards of the porch creaked quietly as my mind picked up on the first thoughts I had heard in a week. I had nearly forgotten how noisy it could be when there were others around. "Why don't you pick one out while I get the door?"

She made a face. "I didn't hear a knock."

A fraction of a second passed before there was a light tapping on the front door. Bella's expression was priceless. It was amusing to know that, even after all this time together, my ability still surprised her from time to time.

I smiled warmly as I opened the door. Gustavo returned the gesture, but Kaure took one glance at me and stepped back behind Gustavo, lowering her eyes to her feet. _Libishomen_, she thought. I greeted them in their native tongue and gestured for them to follow me, guiding them through the house to explain the various things that needed to be done.

Bella smiled as they looked her way, but I could see the puzzlement in her eyes as she locked gazes with Kaure. _Porque é que aqui? Será que não compreender que ela está em perigo?_ (Why is she here? Does she not understand that she is in danger?) she thought. Kaure's heart was hammering in her chest and the color seemed to drain from her face. She stared at Bella with wide eyes before her gaze flickered to mine, her thoughts accusatory.

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but I led Gustavo and Kaure into the bedroom before she could utter a word. _O que aconteceu? O Que uma bagunça! _(What happened? What a mess!) they thought in unison as they surveyed the dusting of feathers that covered the room.

"Comece por favor aqui. Eu serei na sala de visitas se você tem quaisquer perguntas," ("Please start here. I will be in the living room if you have any questions.") I instructed. They nodded together and immediately set to work, although their thoughts were focused on anything but the feathers.

I turned, walking quickly from the room and appeared at Bella's side, scooping her up in my arms. I placed a soft kiss to the crown of her head before letting her down.

"What's with her?" she whispered, peeking around me to see if anyone was listening.

"Kaure's part Ticuna Indian," I explained. "She was raised to be more superstitious – or you could call it more aware – than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough."

Bella leaned back in my arms, looking up at me. She arched an inquiring eyebrow. I could still hear a steady stream of worried thoughts coming from the bedroom. It was curious that Kaure's fear was focused more on Bella than on herself.

"They have their own legends here," I continued. "The _Libishomen_ – a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women."

"She looked terrified."

"She is – but mostly she's worried about you."

"Me?"

"She's afraid of why I have you here, all alone." I laughed to myself, imagining what we may have been doing had Gustavo and Kaure not been in the house. "Oh well, why don't you choose something for us to watch? That's an acceptably human thing to do."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human," she retorted, her words dripping with sarcasm. She shook her head, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. She lifted herself to reach my lips, but instead I lifted her up, bringing her to me. I kissed the corner of her mouth, tasting the sweetness of her skin, and began moving down, trailing kisses across her jaw and down her neck.

"Movie, schmovie," she muttered.

_Ele mata-a! _(He's killing her!) Kaure gasped, snapping me out of my lustful stupor and I immediately set Bella back down on her feet. Seeing the scene through her eyes and knowing what she believed me to be, I could understand why our display of intimacy had shocked her so. Kaure's eyes were locked with Bella's. I glanced between the two, Kaure's expression one of shock and Bella's one of embarrassment.

"Pesaroso," ("Sorry") she whispered, lowering her eyes.

"É perfeitamente bem," ("It's perfectly all right.") I assured her.

"She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?" Bella asked after Kaure had hurried from the room.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes."

Bella's fingers glided along the spines of the movie collection. "Here," she said, picking one and handing it to me. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it."

I took a cursory glance at the cover. _A musical – must be one of Alice's._ "Very honeymoonish," I teased.

Bella curled next to me on the couch while the movie played. My attention was divided between her and listening to the thoughts of Gustavo and Kaure as they surveyed the damage and did their best to restore the cottage to its pristine former state.

"Will we move back into the white room now?" Bella asked.

"I don't know…I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday."

I smiled to myself, realizing how my words would sound…and not minding one bit.

Bella looked up at me, a mischievous grin on her face. "So there will be more destruction?"

I chuckled. She was insatiable. And to be quite honest….so was I. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again."

"It would only be a matter of time." What she didn't realize was that it was becoming more and more likely that I would be the one to initiate something. A matter of time, indeed. Her cheek blazed against my chest and her heart began beating faster.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?" I teased.

"Nope. Healthy as a horse. Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?"

As tempting as that sounded, it would most likely give poor Kaure a heart attack. "Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. _You_ may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them."

"Right," she sighed. "Drat."

The movie was clearly a pretense as Bella dozed in and out of consciousness. I busied myself listening to the thoughts in the house, finding it more manageable when there were only two minds speaking to me, although I much preferred the silence. I wondered idly if I would find it difficult to acclimate to life outside of our island paradise once we returned home, returning to the customary clamor of thoughts vying for my attention.

"Nós somos terminados, senhor. Há algo mais?" ("We're finished, sir. Is there anything else?") Gustavo called from the kitchen.

"Isso será todos. Obrigado," ("That will be all. Thank you.") I replied.

Kaure took one last worried look before following Gustavo out the door.

"They're finished."

Bella propped her head on her elbow, tracing a finger along the collar of my shirt. "So that would mean that we're alone now?" she asked, looking up at me through her lashes.

"How about lunch first?"

Her brow furrowed. She glanced at me, to the kitchen, and back. I could see her struggling with the dueling desires in her mind. Deciding to relieve her of the difficult choice, I took her hand and led her to the kitchen, gesturing that she sit while I prepared something for her to eat.

After consuming a rather large sandwich and a plate of fruit and cheese, she leaned back in her chair, rubbing her full belly. "This is getting out of hand," she grumbled.

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon – burn off the calories?"

She shrugged. "Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

"And what was that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

A blush bloomed across her body. "Well, there is an awful lot of headboard left – "

She didn't have to ask me twice. I appeared at her side and scooped her up in my arms, pressing my lips to hers and kissing her deeply as I carried her to the bedroom.

-x-

_I'm hoping you won't wake and notice my absence, but, if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've just gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. I love you._

I folded the paper and placed it atop my pillow. I hated to leave her for long, but after two weeks, I needed something more substantial than the nearby marine life to sate my growing thirst. It was nearly midnight and she had been sleeping soundly. I chose this time, hoping that she would not notice my absence.

I stole away in the darkness, choosing to swim rather than take the boat. It was certainly the faster way to travel. I swam along the coastline of the mainland, avoiding the ports and seeking an area of the coast that would lead straight into the rainforest.

I ran through the dense foliage, already sensing the presence of a large cat nearby. After running some distance, I looked high in the trees and spied a jaguar lying across one of the large branches, watching me with some measure of curiosity. I wasted no time. The tree shuddered as I leapt up through the branches, wrapping my arms around the feline, and sinking my teeth into the pulsing artery of its neck. The blood flowed, thick and warm, dulling the ache in my throat.

Two jaguars later, I leaned back against the trunk of one of the ancient trees and sighed in contentment, feeling sated for the first time in weeks. I glanced up at the sky, nothing between me and the canopy of stars above. The jungle teemed with life, chattering and agitated, unnerved by my presence.

I leapt back down to the ground, eager to return to Bella. I ran back to the coast and swam, not stopping until my feet reached the sandy shores of Isle Esme. Silently, I crept back into the house. The scent of oil and cooked meat assaulted my nose and I grimaced at the odor. A dirty pan lay in the sink and several pieces of what looked like fried chicken sat uneaten in the garbage bin.

The television glowed, illuminating Bella's face as she slept curled on the couch.

I leaned down, kissing her lightly on the forehead. She stirred, but didn't awaken. I quickly showered and changed, washing away the remnants of ocean that clung to me. I returned to the living room and scooped Bella up in my arms, cradling her to my chest. I laid her gently on the bed and lay down beside her. Her skin was balmy, her hair damp with sweat. I pulled my shirt over my head and held her to me, hoping to provide some relief from the heat.

She draped herself across me, hitching her leg over both of mine, taking advantage of the coolness of my skin. She slept peacefully until nearly eight in the morning when she awoke with a start.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, placing my palm to her forehead. She was still burning up. "So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

"Excuse me!" she gasped, wriggling away from me toward the edge of the bed, her hand clamped tightly over her mouth.

"Bella?"

Her feet padded quickly across the floor and she disappeared into the bathroom. Concerned, I followed behind her, arriving to see her kneeling on the tiled floor, clinging to the sides of the porcelain bowl while she wretched, expelling the contents of her stomach.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked. I swept her hair from her face and held it in my hands as she continued to vomit.

"Damn rancid chicken," she groaned, holding her palm against her forehead.

"Are you all right?" I asked. I had never seen her so violently ill before.

"Fine. It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away." She moaned, waving me off.

"Not likely, Bella." She should know better than to believe I would leave her at a time like this.

"Go away," she insisted, pushing herself up, her arms quivering as she struggled to support herself. I placed my hands under her arms and lifted her up, despite her efforts to shoo me away.

She leaned over the sink, cupping her hands together to catch the cool water and bringing it to her lips. She turned off the faucet and gripped the counter with both hands, swaying unsteadily. Careful not to jostle her too much, I gently picked her up and carried her to the bed, setting her on the edge, but still supporting her to keep her upright.

"Food poisoning?"

"Yeah, I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first."

"How do you feel now?" I asked, placing my palm on her forehead, feeling the fire pulsing beneath her skin. Could it be something more? A tropical parasite perhaps?

She looked up at me. "Pretty normal. A little hungry, actually."

_Hungry? _I couldn't imagine she would be feeling hungry after such a bout of nausea.

"Would you fix me some eggs?" she asked.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I said, shaking my head. "Let's wait a while to see if this has truly passed before you eat something that could upset your stomach further."

She sat up in bed, taking small sips of water. After an hour had passed, I agreed to make her some breakfast. I fretted nervously over her, but she appeared to feel fine. After her initial bout of sickness, she seemed to have returned to normal.

We spent the afternoon on the couch. I felt it best to keep her activity to a minimum to allow her body to recover, even though she insisted that she was fine. She turned in my arms and groaned, a strange expression crossing her face.

Just as suddenly as before, she jumped up and ran for the kitchen sink, her hand clamped over her mouth. I followed behind, holding her hair and rubbing small circles on her back.

"Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor," I suggested.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and shook her head. "I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth." She waved me off, insisting that she go to the bathroom unassisted this time. I paced nervously outside the door, listening for any signs of distress. I heard the normal sounds of water, of toothbrush bristles rubbing against teeth, swishing and spitting, and running water again – then the sounds of shifting objects. Was she looking for something? Then there was silence – ear splitting silence. I could hear her heart begin to quicken, worrying me further.

I knocked timidly on the door. "Are you well?" I asked. "Did you get sick again?"

Silence, and then finally she spoke. "Yes and no," she said through the door. What did that mean? I was becoming increasingly concerned. If she wouldn't allow me to take her to a doctor, my next step would be to call Carlisle.

"Bella? Can I please come in?"

"O…kay?"

The door creaked as I opened it slowly. Bella was sitting cross-legged on the floor with an odd expression on her face, the contents of the suitcase in a state of disarray. I knelt beside her, placing my palm to her forehead once again.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She was staring off, as though she hadn't heard me speak. Her eyes were glassy, her expression blank. I inched closer to her, wrapping my fingers around her arm and shaking her lightly.

She blinked several times before turning to me. "How many days has it been since the wedding?" she whispered.

"Seventeen." What an odd question to ask at a time like this. "Bella, what is it?"

She furrowed her brows and held up a finger. I could see her lips moving, silently counting. But why? She counted again, using her fingers as though she were ticking off items on a list. Each time she counted, her heart beat faster and faster. All the color had drained from her face.

"Bella!" I begged. "I'm losing my mind over here."

She lowered her hands, staring blankly ahead. Without looking, her hand reached into the suitcase, groping through the contents until her fingers clutched a box of feminine products. She held it up.

I was utterly perplexed. "What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?"

"No," she gasped. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late."

_Wait….what?_

**A/N: I know I say this a lot, but truly, thank you all so much for your support of this story. Your favorites, alerts, PMs, and reviews mean the world to me. I hope you all enjoyed some of the fluff in the last few chapters – be prepared for lots of angst in the near future.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for keeping me on track and giving me a head's up when the text may get tricky. And congrats to misticbutterfly who is currently on fan fiction maternity leave. **


	11. Chapter 11: Revelation

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

**A/N: In this chapter, there are some lines in Portuguese followed by English translations. Because I was unable to find a Ticuna translator, the conversation between Edward and Kaure is in italics to indicate that they are speaking another language. **

Chapter 11

Revelation

I heard the words, but I couldn't make sense of them. I repeated them over and over in my mind, knowing what she was trying to say, but unable to comprehend. _Impossible._ I stared across the room, my gaze fixed on some unknown point until the venom coating my eyes dried, leaving my vision slightly blurred.

_Period. Late. Impossible. That would mean…_ I wanted to shake my head, to push the inconceivable idea away, but I was frozen in shock. My muscles felt like they had turned to stone, fixing me in place like a marble statue, a representation of what I once was.

Bella had never been late. Her monthly cycle was nearly fixed, as constant as the phases of the moon or the rotation of the planets. Much to her chagrin, there was very little about her physical self that she could keep hidden from me. I searched my mind, delving into my medical knowledge for some explanation, any explanation other than the one she had implied. I began ticking off the varied contingencies that could cause such an anomaly in her cycle – increased exercise, emotional stress, travel. There was any number of legitimate causes that could explain away her lack of menstruation.

Then why did I have this nagging concern in the back of mind that she was right, that the outright impossible was really the truth? Had there been other signs? Had I missed them completely? I began replaying the events of the last two weeks in my mind in explicit detail, picking them apart for any clues, anything I might have missed. The more I delved into my memories, the more unsettled I became.

I began taking inventory of the small changes I had noticed, minute things that I could have dismissed. There was Bella's increased desire for intimacy, but that shouldn't be surprising, given we were on our honeymoon. She had been moody at times and crying for unexplained reasons, but that could have been a result of my reluctance to make love to her after our first night. She had been sleeping so much and her appetite was voracious, but again, that could be explained by the unending parade of activities I had planned to keep her occupied. She was having vivid dreams, but she always dreamed – except now her dreams were so deep that she was silent in her sleep.

I had noticed her increased heart rate and a slight arrhythmia which I could not explain. There was the new scent coming off her skin, her own scent mixed with a new sweetness like honey that I had attributed to the increased exposure to sunlight. Most recently she had become violently ill – vomiting one moment and completely fine the next – it could have been food poisoning. _Right?_ Her cycle was late, but again, that could be explained by other factors.

I ticked off all the variables in my mind – mood swings, increased appetite, excessive need for sleep, the dreams, her scent, her heart beat, the nausea, her delayed cycle…._No, not possible. _My kind wasn't physically capable of procreation – poor Rosalie had made us all brutally aware of just how impossible it was. There were legends, stories told by humans, like the incubus, but those stories never ended with the victim surviving long enough to determine whether or not conception was achievable. And human legends were notoriously inaccurate. There were hundreds of stories about our kind, but not one depicted us as we truly are.

In my peripheral vision, I could see Bella examining herself in the mirror, rubbing her hands across her belly. _When had she moved to stand? _I wanted to turn my head, to see for myself, but my body wouldn't cooperate. I could see her from the corner of my eye, staring in awe at her midsection, at the obvious protrusion that hadn't been there a day ago.

_Protrusion? No…impossible. That means…_I wanted to slap myself, to jolt myself from whatever waking nightmare I was experiencing. This wasn't happening; it couldn't be. All the signs began to converge, painting a crystal clear picture that I couldn't believe I had missed. It couldn't be true, yet the more I thought about it, the more undeniable it became. Why hadn't I seen it? Why hadn't _Alice_ seen it?

As improbable as it all seemed, the truth was staring me in the face. But there was something very wrong here. It had been barely more than two weeks since our wedding night, yet if she truly was…_pregnant_…she was exhibiting symptoms of a woman nearing the end of her first trimester. For the briefest of moments, my mind wandered to the place where any man's would. _Could it be mine? _I felt immediately guilty for even thinking such a thing. I knew in my heart that Bella was faithful to me, but how could I not wonder? Things were moving at a much more rapid pace than they should, not to mention the fact that I, nor the rest of my family, believed such a thing was physically viable.

The deafening silence was shattered by discordant tones. It was as though someone had placed my head within a church bell that had begun to toll. Loud peals reverberated in my ears, pushing their way into my already overwhelmed consciousness. I tried to ignore it, to mentally silence the aggravating clamor, but it would not yield. And then, beyond the cacophony of sound, there were hands frantically moving over me. And then all was silent again, save for the voice of my love.

"Hi, Alice," she said. _Alice? _I had half a mind to demand an explanation from my sister as to why she didn't warn me about all of this. She had to have seen this, had to know what was happening. _Right?_

"Yeah. Um. Is Carlisle there?" _Carlisle! _If anyone could shed some light on this improbable situation, it would be him. Not only did he have the medical knowledge and expertise to make an educated guess as to what could be causing Bella's symptoms, but he had been on this earth nearly three times as long as I have. He had been around for centuries, observing and studying the history of our kind – perhaps he had heard stories or knew of a previous instance of a vampire impregnating a human.

As unfeasible as the idea seemed, my mind kept coming back to the same strange conclusion. Bella was pregnant. And I was the father. Warmth rushed through my veins at the thought. The fraction of a second that it took for the concept to settle in my mind, I had witnessed the entire life of a child – of my child. I could see her, a small version of Bella with chestnut hair and large, brown eyes. I could feel the weight in my arms as I cradled her to me; feel the warmth of her hand in mine.

But if I was the father, then that would mean that the child she was carrying, the thing inside of her would be a part of me. But which part? A shot of cold, like ice water in my veins, chased away the warmth. My imaginations, however hopeful, began to transform and darken into something terrifying. I quivered, imagining what creature could be growing inside her – what shadowy and twisted part of the monster that I am was taking root inside her body and developing at such a rapid pace.

If I had accurately gauged the fetus' gestation based on Bella's symptoms and if the course of maturity proceeded in the same manner that a human pregnancy would, she had barely a month until she would be full-term. That wasn't enough time. Just when I had secured her hand and made her mine, just when our lives were starting out, just when our forever was beginning, the cruel hand of fate reached out and began to pull away what we had worked so hard to attain. My thoughts became darker as I imagined the thing growing inside her. It had to be a monster, an abomination. Horrors flashed through my mind as I imagined a tiny vampire sucking the life from her, breaking her body down for its own sustenance, and ravaging her as it fought to free itself from her womb.

I felt as though I was losing her all over again and, once again, it was my fault. Every move I made, every step I took, led us to this place and every moment she was with me, even when I took the greatest care, she was in grave danger. The monster within, no matter how tame it seemed, was death incarnate and destroyed everything in its wake – even the one I love – and there didn't seem to be anything I could do to stop it.

"…and…I swear something _moved_ inside me just now."

_It moved?_ No, things were progressing far too quickly. If I had any hope of saving her, we had to do something. Carlisle had to do something. We would have to get it out of her. _Now._ I jolted myself from my stupor and held out my hand for the phone.

Bella's eyes widened and she jumped back a little at the sudden movement. She studied me warily for several beats. "Um, I think Edward wants to talk to you." She pressed the small device into the palm of my hand. I slowly brought it up to my ear and I could hear the urgent whispers of my family through the receiver.

"Is it possible?" I whispered into the phone.

I could hear Carlisle breathing on the other end of the line, an overtone to the concerned murmurings of Alice and Esme in the background. He sighed heavily before speaking. "We can't know anything for certain until some tests can be run, but from what she's describing…I honestly don't have any other explanation. It's unheard of, but I can't imagine what else it could be."

Hushed whispers spoke rapidly, but the sound was muffled, as though Carlisle had placed his palm over the mouthpiece. I could make out Alice's voice, but couldn't decipher what she was saying.

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist, pulling her to me. I closed my eyes, breathing in her new aroma and finally understanding its meaning. "And Bella?" I asked.

"Edward, you need to get her here. I can't determine anything until I examine her. I can get all the necessary equipment from the hospital and we can be ready when you arrive." He sighed and I could hear the light scraping of skin against skin. I imagined him wiping his hand across his brow as he often did when something was troubling him.

"I can't recall ever hearing of such a thing, but there is much of our lore that remains a mystery. Jasper has already begun researching, but it's difficult to know where to begin. Honestly, I almost feel somewhat responsible for not warning you that this was a possibility. With the varying numbers of chromosomes between our kind and humans, I didn't believe our species would be compatible. If I had known…" His voice cracked, nerves breaking through his clinical demeanor. I wanted to say something, anything to reassure him that this was not his fault – that the blame was mine – but the words wouldn't come. The words caught in my throat, paralyzed by the same fear that gripped me.

"Just get home as quickly as you can, Edward. Based on her symptoms, the pregnancy, if that is what this is, is progressing very rapidly. We don't know what possible danger this might pose to her. The sooner you can get back, the sooner we can determine how best to proceed. I promise I'll do everything I can. We'll be ready for you when you arrive. Just get here."

"Yes. Yes, I will."

Still frozen in shock, but spurned on by this new urgency, I ended my call with Carlisle and quickly dialed the airport. Bella spoke just as the phone began to ring.

"What did Carlisle say?" she asked.

I couldn't bring myself to face her, to see the anger in her eyes for what I had done to her. "He thinks you're pregnant," I muttered as I listened to the prompts on the phone, irritated with the endless pressing of buttons required to reach a human.

"Who are you calling now?"

"The airport. We're going home."

I could feel Bella's eyes burning through me as I stood and began to pace, still holding the phone to my ear. A woman's voice came on the line, but before even waiting for her to speak, I blurted out my request.

"Preciso de dois ingressos no primeiro vôo disponível para Seattle (I need two tickets on the first available flight to Seattle)." There was a brief moment of silence.

"Sinto muito, senhor, mas tudo está cheio. O nosso primeiro vôo disponível é amanhã à noite (I'm sorry sir, but everything is full. Our first available flight is tomorrow evening)," she replied.

"Você não entende. Esta é uma emergência médica (You don't understand. This is a medical emergency)," I hissed into the phone. "Eu preciso de você fazer o que for necessário para nos levar no próximo vôo. O custo não importa (I need you to do whatever is necessary to get us on the next flight. The cost doesn't matter)."

The woman hesitated before placing me on hold. I would buy a private jet and fly us back myself if necessary. If I thought Bella could tolerate it, I would even consider the notion of swimming home.

I glanced back at Bella who was staring out a nearby window, her hand clutching the fabric around her midsection. Another pang of guilt shot through me, nearly forcing my knees to buckle. I pinched my eyes closed and turned away, placing a flat palm against the wall to steady myself, unable to bear the thought of the pain she may be in – the pain that I had caused.

Feeling my nervous energy building, I began pacing again, walking from one end of the house to the other, picking up clothing and other personal items that were strewn about and tossing them into the luggage. We needed to be prepared to leave at a moment's notice, as soon as transportation was secured.

Two airline employees and a supervisor later, I had finally convinced them that our situation was dire enough that they put out a plea to the passengers to give up their seats on the next flight. Thank heavens there were some good samaritans on the flight that agreed to leave on a flight the next day. I instructed the airline to charge any expenses they incurred to me as a thank you for their generosity.

When all the bags were packed, there was nothing left for me to do but to face Bella. I walked slowly into the kitchen and she stood silently by the sink, one hand laying on her stomach, her shoulders quivering slightly.

"Bella?"

Her head lifted and she slowly turned to face me. Glistening tears were streaked across her cheeks and a jolt of panic shot through me. What had_ it_ done to her? Was she hurt? "Bella!" I gasped, rushing to her side.I took her face in my hands, studying her features. "Are you in pain?"

"No, no –" she murmured, shaking her head.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me, suddenly keenly aware of the new entity between us, the small bump in her abdomen that pressed against me. "Don't be afraid," I whispered, trying to convince myself nearly as much as I wished to comfort her. "We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine."

She leaned back, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Take care of this? What do you mean?"

I held her face in my hands and I could see the terror in her eyes. Her lip trembled as another tear escaped from the corner of her eye and dripped down over my fingers. I had made a solemn promise to love, honor, and protect her and I was going to do just that. "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you," I promised. "Don't be scared. I _won't_ let it hurt you."

"That _thing_?" she gasped, her eyes widening in fear. Perhaps that wasn't the best choice of words. To label the creature in her mind as anything other than a baby would only serve to heighten her fear of it. I opened my mouth to reply when I heard another human's thoughts a short distance away. I squeezed my eyes shut, silently chastizing myself for forgetting that Gustavo was coming today to deliver more groceries.

I could hear his footsteps just outside the door. "Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." I quickly ran to the door and threw it open to see a startled Gustavo. Kaure stood just behind him looking timidly up at me with a covered dish clutched in her hands.

"Sinto muito, mas isso não é um bom momento (I'm sorry, but this is not a good time)," I said through my teeth.

"Podemos voltar mais tarde, se quiser, senhor (We can come back later if you wish, sir)," Gustavo said in a hoarse tone. He nodded and turned to leave. Kaure's eyes widened and she began vehemently shaking her head back and forth. She pushed past him to stand before me.

Não, espere. Por favor (No, wait. Please)," she pleaded. "Preparei o jantar para você e sua esposa (I prepared dinner for you and your wife)."

I pursed my lips and shook my head. "Isso foi muito legal da sua parte, mas minha esposa não está se sentindo bem. Se você der a comida para mim, eu vou ter a certeza de que ela recebe-lo (That was very nice of you, but my wife isn't feeling well. If you give the food to me, I'll be sure that she gets it)."

The space between Kaure's eyebrows puckered and she took several deep breaths. "Gostaria de dar a ela a mim mesmo. Só vai demorar um pouco (I would like to give it to her myself. It will only take a moment)."

"Não (No)." I could feel my irritation growing, knowing full well that her motives were far more than just the desire to deliver dinner to Bella.

"Por favor, senhor (Please, sir)."

"Eu disse que não. Agora, se você, por favor (I said no, now if you please)..." I held my hand out, gesturing to the boat, but Kaure stood firm. Her frown deepend and her eyes narrowed as she cluthced the covered dish tightly to her chest. I could see the intentions forming in her mind before she acted, but didn't have the patience to continue arguing with her.

She squared her shoulders and pushed brusquely past me through the door. I edged past her and went to Bella. I gripped her face in my hands, brushing away the tears from her cheeks. I leaned in and began whispering an explanation in her ear.

"She's insisting on leaving the food she brought – she made us dinner. It's an excuse – she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet." The irony of my words was not lost on me. The thing inside her, the thing that _I_ had impregnated her with, would kill her soon enough if we didn't act quickly.

Kaure entered just as I lifted my head. I could see her mind gauging the sitation, seeing the clear emotional distress on Bella's face. "Ainda está vivo ... por agora (Still alive...for now)," she muttered under her breath as she set the dish on the counter.

"Sair (Get out)!" I snapped, taking a step forward, as though my body could shielf Bella from the woman's words.

Kaure's eyes widened, her thoughts fearful, as she turned to go. That same moment, Bella clutched her hand to her mouth and flew toward the sink, leaning over and clutching the edge as her stomach heaved. I reached for her, holding her hair with one hand and placing the other on her forehead in hopes that the coolness of my skin would help to ease her nausea.

"I'm so sorry, Bella – for all of this. We'll be home soon and it will all be over. I promise," I whispered.

Realizing that the dinner Kaure had brought was the likely cause of her current bout of nausea, I left Bella's side long enough to grab the dish and toss it into the refrigerator. Bella took several deep breaths before turning on the faucet and rinsing her mouth.

I slowly turned her toward me and wrapped her in my arms, wishing there was more I could do to ease her discomfort. She slumped against me, her folded arms between us. I cradled her in my arms, hating myself and wishing with all my might that I could take her pain away.

_Não (No)._ Kaure gasped and my eyes snapped to her. Her eyes were large as saucers as she stared at Bella's folded hands, her whole body trembling, her mind fluctuating between terror and hatred. Her palms were up, either to shield herself or as an offering of assistance. _Diabo. Ele__fez isso com ela (Devil. He did this to her)._

My body tensed at her thoughts and my own hatred for myself bubbled over until I could no longer contain it. I took a step forward, wrapping Bella behind me. Kaure took a challenging step forward, her face flushed with anger as she began to yell.

"Como você pôde fazer isso com ela? Você não sabia? Vocês não compreendem? Demônio, ela vai morrer por causa de você (How could you do this to her? Did you not know? Do you not understand? Demon, she will die because of you)," she shrieked, stepping forward and angrily shaking a clenched fist at me.

Her words tore through me like talons, deep gashes that penetrated my very core. I didn't know. I didn't understand. How could I? I began to plead, speaking in her native Ticuna tongue in hopes that she would understand my desperation.

_"Please,"_ I begged. _"I didn't know. She is my wife, my love. I don't mean her any harm."_

Kaure was clearly confused by my words, unable to reconcile in her mind what she believed me to be and the idea that I could love a human. The two concepts were not compatible in her mind. She took a step forward and began speaking in a stern tone.

_"You say that you are married. And your marriage has been consummated? She is clutching her belly. She is carrying your seed, isn't she?"_

Guilt crashed over me in waves and all I could do was nod.

Kaure quickly backed away, crossing herself as visions of small demons flashed through her mind. I don't know why, but I felt the need to make her understand. Perhaps I needed comfort for myself, reassurance that Bella could be safe from whatever was growing inside her. I had wished that I was wrong, hoped that I was jumping to conclusions, but Kaure's reaction only served to solidify my belief that Bella was in grave danger.

I reached my hand out, begging for understanding. I caressed Bella's cheek, hoping that my gesture could somehow convey to Kaure that I truly cared for Bella.

_"How can you love her? You are a monster – a demon! You are dangerous! No good can come of this." _

_"Please, I didn't know. I would never do anything to hurt her."_

I could see Kaure trying to work things out in her mind, to make sense of my words and actions when they completely contradicted her beliefs. She could see the confusion on Bella's face and the sadness on mine. There was a hesitant sense of understanding, but it was laced with pity.

She took a step forward, locking gazes with Bella. She reached out her arms, circling them around her midsection, mimicing the round shape of a pregnant woman. I chanced a glance back at Bella and her eyes were wide as she watched Kaure. I wondered if Bella had any understanding of the conversation that was taking place.

Kaure took several more steps forward. She almost seemed to be studying Bella and myself, trying to figure us out.

_"How long?"_ she asked.

_ "Two weeks."_

_ "Symptoms?"_

_ "Nausea, vivid dreams, fatigue, voracious appetite, mood swings..."_

_ "Can she feel movement from within?"_

_ "Yes."_

Her face was drawn in a mask of sadness as she looked between us. I saw in her mind the legends of the Ticuna people, of the demon that would impregnate women and the suffering that would follow.

_"Is there anything I can do to help her?"_

Kaure's eyes glistened with tears and she lowered her head, shaking it slowly.

I could feel my heart ripping in two, the weight of the guilt that bore down on me nearly unbearable. My knees began to shake and I feared I may collapse from the weight of it. There had to be something. I had to believe that Carlisle could do something, that he could help me save her. Surely in the primitive tribes of the rainforest, they didn't have the advantage of our medical knowledge and equipment, let alone a doctor with unique skills such as Carlisle's.

As though my mouth was working as a separate part of myself, it spoke the one question that I didn't want to hear the answer to. _"What is it?"_

Kaure slowly took several steps forward until she was standing in front of me. She reached out a timid hand and lay it over Bella's. "Morte (Death)," she replied. _Death. _

I didn't notice when she left the room. I was frozen once again as my mind tried to protect itself from the shock of it all, from the confirmation of what I already beleived to be true. I had sentenced my own true love to die. If something wasn't done, I was going to lose her forever.

My body remained fixed until I began to grow cold from the loss of proximal heat from Bella's body. I turned to see her walking away and I reacted by reaching out to touch her shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"To brush my teeth again," she replied.

"Don't worry about what she said. It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment."

Bella's mouth twitched minutely before she shook her head. "I didn't understand anything." I could tell by her body's natural reactions that she was lying. The fear was apparent in her eyes, yet I understood why she would try to keep it hidden from me. She always did try to spare my feelings, even when I didn't deserve it.

"I packed your toothbrush. I'll get it for you." I walked quickly ahead, retrieving her toothbrush and toothpaste from the toiletry bag in her suitcase.

She smiled weakly as she took it from me. "Are we leaving soon?"

"As soon as you're done."

I paced nervously in the bedroom while I waited for her. Visions of death bombarded my mind, towing me further down into my own despair, drowning me in torment. But I had to fight them off. I couldn't allow myself to wallow in self pity. I needed to be alert. I needed to be there for her.

She returned quietly, handing me the toothbrush and toothpaste that I quickly repacked. I cluched the suitcases in my arms. "I'll get the bags into the boat," I said as I began to walk out the bedroom door.

"Edward – "

I turned. "Yes?"

She fumbled with the hem of her shirt, biting her lower lip. I was about to drop the bags and go to her when she opened her mouth to speak. "Could you...pack some of the food? You know, in case I get hungry again."

"Of course." Her eyes were filled with fear, overshadowing the wonder that had overwhelmed her earlier. I hated myself for this. What should be a joyful occasion for a woman, for a potential mother, was tainted by my presence. Like a beautiful flower preparing to bloom, she wilted beneath my wintry touch.

"Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon." I wasn't sure if I was trying to comfort her or myself, but she nodded weakly in reply. Again feeling the urgency to get home, I walked from the room and out the door to load the luggage into the boat and prepare the vessel for departure.

I worked quickly, checking gaugues and ensuring that everything was in working order before returning to the house to gather Bella and the food. Bella sat on the edge of the couch, fidgeting nervously with the tasselled edge of one of the throw pillows. I packed a small parcel of non-perishable food for the trip home, ensuring that Kaure's dinner stayed locked away where the scent couldn't reach Bella.

I walked slowly over to where she was sitting and reached out a hand to her. She took it, smiling feebily as she stood. I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her to me, breathing in her scent. I closed my eyes briefly, wishing that our departure from this place was different, wishing that our honeymoon hadn't taken this turn. I hated that our memories would be tainted by this and could only pray that this would one day be no more than a bad memory. I would suffer through anything if it meant that I could keep Bella alive. And just as we had arrived, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her over the threshhold, out into the open sea air.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry for the delay – I took a much needed vacation and then, as always, real life got in my way. Admittedly, it also took me a little while to switch my writing mode from Blissward to Angstward.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, who has the best ideas and keeps me on track. And thanks to misticbutterfly for our late night writing sessions, even if her new little one keeps us from having them as often as we'd like. **


	12. Chapter 12: Return

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 12

Return

The ocean water sprayed up around us as the boat glided over the choppy waves. The pace was frustrating – slow enough that I wasn't pushing the craft to its full speed, but still too fast for Bella's comfort. Although I tried my best to steer the boat along the calmest route, it did little good. Her pallor was tinged a shade of green as she held her head over the edge, heaving the contents of her stomach overboard.

I looked out ahead, willing the land to approach at a faster pace. The sun was just beginning to set, casting brilliant hues of orange and pink across the sky. The colors reflected across the water, creating an elegant painting, a watercolor of the sky above. It was a shame that we were leaving Isle Esme under these circumstances. Bella would have appreciated the sunset.

I breathed a small sigh of relief when we reached the mainland and I had secured the boat to the dock. Bella was still slumped on the edge, her hair dangling precariously over the water. Her eyes were closed, her cheek resting against the cool fiberglass of the boat.

"Bella?"

She slowly opened her eyes and raised her head.

"It's time to go," I whispered. I knelt down beside her and brushed the hair away from her face. She nodded weakly and began to sit up. I scooped her up in my arms and carefully set her on the dock. As much as I would have liked to carry her, it would look conspicuous if I were to carry both my bride and our luggage through the streets of Rio.

I took her hand and placed it on my arm. She willingly leaned into me, too unsure on her feet otherwise. We walked the short distance down the dock and through the port until we reached the taxi that was already waiting for us. I helped Bella into the car while the driver loaded our luggage into the trunk.

Scooting in beside Bella, I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to me. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily as the car began to move through the busy streets. I stroked her hair, wishing I could do more to ease her discomfort. Gazing out the window, the city passed by in a blur of vibrant colors. Our last day spent in this tropical locale was a dim shadow of the day I had imagined. Our honeymoon, perhaps her life, cut short by my own foolishness.

I pulled Bella tighter to me, wondering how many more moments like this we would have left, unsure if there would be anything we could do to save her. Carlisle would think of something. I had to believe that. It was the only hope I could hold onto. Bella had barely said a word since we left the cottage. I couldn't be sure if her silence was due to exhaustion or fear. I expected it was the latter.

After a short while, the taxi pulled to a stop in front of the airport terminal. I pressed a wad of bills into the palm of the driver's hand as he set the last suitcase on the curb. He smiled and tipped his hat before climbing back into the car.

Bella resumed her grip on my arm as we walked through the airport. I had half a mind to request a wheelchair for her, but she would likely balk at the notion. After passing through security, we finally reached our gate and Bella gingerly lowered herself into a chair. It was alarming how much she had changed in such a short time – even carrying herself in a more careful manner. Even more alarming was the small bump that was now clearly visible under the thin cotton of her clothing. It seemed to be growing larger by the hour.

"Where's the food?" she asked.

I turned to face her. Her eyes were brighter than they had been since we left the house and she was rummaging through her tote bag. She pulled out an apple and a hunk of cheese that I had packed for her.

"Do you think that's such a good idea?" I asked. "I mean, just a short while ago…"

"I'm fine," she cut me off, "just hungry."

I shrugged, not willing to spend what little time we may have left arguing over something as trivial as her appetite. She ate greedily, eating the apple down to the core and licking the juice from her fingers. I took the remnants from her hand and walked several feet to toss them into the garbage. She smiled when I returned and leaned her head on my shoulder.

The wait for our flight wasn't long. As we boarded the plane, I said a silent thank you to the passengers who sacrificed their seats so that we could get home. I wondered what would await us when we arrived, what equipment Carlisle had acquired or what tests he was prepared to run. A small part of me held onto the hope that the part of me Bella was carrying was the good part, the human part, untouched by evil. But that small hope was overshadowed by the unyielding feeling that she was carrying something else entirely – something horrid and cruel – the very essence of the monster that I am.

"Oh," Bella exclaimed as the plane shuddered.

I turned just in time to see her jolt out of her seat, her hand clamped firmly over her mouth, as she walked briskly through the aisle to the lavatory. I watched after her, utterly helpless. I knew she shouldn't have eaten while her stomach was still so unsettled, but I wouldn't dare say as much.

A light tap on my shoulder diverted my attention.

"There's one on every flight," the flight attendant whispered, smiling sympathetically. She held out a cup of ice and a can of ginger ale. "This should help."

"Thank you," I said with a nod as she turned to assist another passenger.

The remainder of the flight was without incident. The soft drink did appear to help settle Bella's stomach. She slept peacefully in my arms for the duration of the flight. At least one of us could be at peace – I, on the other hand, was only growing more nervous with the passing minutes. What if there was nothing we could do? What if this was beyond even Carlisle's expertise? The possibilities swam through my mind, taunting and tormenting me.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, listening to the thoughts around me, trying to reacquaint myself with the sensation of trying to balance my own stream of thought with the hundreds around me. Such a long period of silence on the island had spoiled me and I feared it may take some time before I become accustomed to the clamor in my head.

The second flight wasn't any better than the first. Perhaps my nerves were affecting Bella because even she seemed on edge. I couldn't imagine what must be going through her mind – how terrified she must be of the thing growing inside her. She clutched the growing bulge in her belly and I had to bite my tongue to keep from repeating my inquiries about her level of discomfort.

The air between us was thick, choking off our voices as though we were both frozen in the same vacuum of terror. As the plane began to descend over Seattle, Bella sat upright, her knee bouncing nervously. I reached across, unclenching her fingers from the hem of her shirt and taking her hand in mine. I squeezed it reassuringly, although I could have used some reassurance myself. She managed a small smile and squeezed my hand in return.

I wished I could see into her mind as she fidgeted. She must be nervous about the procedure, fearful of what Carlisle may have to do. She must know that we would never do anything to harm her, but I understood that it was common for humans to fear even the most routine of surgical procedures. If not for the bloodlust, Jasper would most certainly have been a welcome addition to Carlisle's medical team, if for nothing else than to keep the patients calm.

The plane came to a stop at the gate and I rose to gather our bags from the overhead compartment while the other passengers did the same. I held Bella's purse out for her and she took it, clutching it to her chest as though it were a life preserver. A wave of concern crashed over me as I watched her eyes dart about the cabin, her knuckles turning white as her fingers gripped the bag.

I offered her my arm, but she shook her head, unwilling to let go of her bag. She stood to follow me and we began the short walk down the jet way into the terminal. It took no time at all for me to pick out the thoughts of my family members among the hundreds of other passengers in the airport. What I found odd was not the thoughts, but the family members they emanated from. This was not the welcoming party I had expected.

I wasn't sure whether or not Carlisle would be present, but assumed he would rather be at the house making preparations as he couldn't very well begin his examination in a busy airport. I was surprised, though, that Alice wasn't here. Of all my family, she was the one I fully expected to see waiting anxiously for her best friend. Perhaps she was helping Carlisle with his preparations, looking ahead and advising him on what he may need. And Emmett would have stayed behind to help with the heavy lifting.

Esme, the doting mother, was here as anticipated, her thoughts full of concern for both Bella and myself. Jasper, although not the first member I would expect to see, was also a welcome sight. If I ever had need of his ability to manipulate emotions, it was now.

But probably most surprising of all was Rosalie. Of every member of our family, she was the coolest toward Bella, the only one who still felt a twinge of unease that Bella has been so warmly accepted. Her mind was aloof, as though she were trying to focus on something else, something she didn't want me to see. Had Alice seen something? Was she guarding her thoughts because Alice had seen something horrible, something happening to Bella? Would we fail in our attempt to save her? Kaure's words haunted me, fueling the doubts that consumed my heart.

Looks spanning from relief to concern crossed the faces of each of my family members as we came into their view. Esme's eyes flitted between us, worried both about Bella's health and my own mental state. I could feel the tendrils of Jasper's ability reaching into my mind, measuring my temperament. But it was the look on Rosalie's face that sent a shiver through me. She didn't look at me, not even so much as a glance – her eyes were fixed on Bella, her thoughts were still hidden.

Esme smiled tentatively and opened her arms to us. I reached for her, longing for the solace I would find in my mother's embrace, but my attention was torn when Bella brushed past me and into the open arms of my sister. I stood dazed for the briefest moment before Rosalie's mind opened and her objective became alarmingly clear. _We have to protect the baby._

Perhaps even more disconcerting was the fact that Bella seemed to be privy to Rosalie's intentions prior to our homecoming. In my haste to leave the island, had Bella snuck away to conspire with my sister? The more important question was why? I could see the edges of my world begin to crumble and fall. Everything we had fought for beginning to slip through my fingers and, like Alice, I could envision the tragic outcome that would result from this newly forged alliance. Just like my life, the bag I was holding slipped from my fingers and crashed to the floor.

"Edward, are you all right?" Esme asked, her brow furrowed as she reached up to touch my cheek, clearly oblivious to what was happening just a few feet away.

My chest constricted and I could feel myself begin to panic. With wide eyes, I looked past Esme, directly at Rosalie. She still would not look me in the eye, but was whispering something in Bella's ear.

I took a step forward, hand outstretched. Rosalie's eyes darted up to mine and she hissed under her breath, wrapping a protective arm around Bella. Jasper and Esme's heads snapped to the side to stare at her.

"Rosalie…what?" Esme began.

"Bella," I whispered.

She slowly turned to face me, her eyes cast downward, the guilt evident on her face. She didn't even have to speak the words – I could already see that my worst nightmare was coming true.

"Bella, please…what's going on?" I pleaded.

She moved from Rosalie's grasp, but remained linked to her by holding her hand. She placed her other hand over her swollen belly and looked up, defiance flaming in her eyes. "Edward, I'm keeping the baby."

_What on earth is she talking about? _"Well, of course dear…" Esme began, but Jasper placed a hand on her arm, halting her words.

"Bella, we don't even know what it is."

"I do," she insisted, her brow furrowing.

"Honey, what is she talking about?" Esme whispered in a tense voice.

I stood motionless, staring with disbelief into the eyes of my beloved. In the span of minutes, we had turned from newlyweds, allied in our love for one another, to adversaries locked in a struggle between life and death. Although, I was beginning to come to the realization that we had been placed in our newfound roles hours before I was even made aware of her plans.

"Edward?" Esme asked again.

"He doesn't want me to have the baby," Bella whispered.

"He what?" Esme gasped. _An abortion? No, he can't be considering…_

"It could hurt you, Bella," I entreated. "Please."

"I won't let you. I've made my decision."

_This must be a misunderstanding._ "Bella, what gave you the impression that he doesn't want you to have the baby?"

"He said so. He said that we were coming home so that he and Carlisle could take it out."

"I can't imagine Carlisle would have agreed to such a thing without your consent, Bella," Esme reasoned. "Surely, this is some sort of misunderstanding."

My growing anger was quelled by an overpowering quiet that settled over our small group. Silent up until this point, Jasper opened his mouth to speak. "This is not the place for this conversation," he said in a low voice. "This is a private matter that should be dealt with at home."

"He's right," Esme agreed. "Let's get you two home and we can sort all this out."

Rosalie lifted her chin and spun on her heel, linking her arm with Bella's, and began walking through the terminal, taking Bella with her. Esme began to follow, but I stood frozen, trying to make sense of what had just happened. I watched as Bella and Rosalie grew smaller in the distance. How could this happen? Bella had to know that what was growing inside her was not human, not normal? Had she no sense of self-preservation?

I felt a hand on my back, gently, yet forcefully, pushing me forward. _Edward, let's go,_ Jasper thought. I complied, following Jasper in a stupor, still shocked over what had just happened. Bella's silence during the journey from South America began to take on a new meaning and it was the exact opposite of what I had expected her to be thinking. I should have known better. She wasn't afraid for herself at all, wasn't worried about procedures or tests. She had been wordlessly steeling her resolve and waiting for Rosalie to be there to back her up.

Esme and Rosalie were pulling our bags off the conveyor belt when Jasper and I reached them. "I've got them," he said, holding out his arms to take both bags.

Esme gave me a sympathetic look and linked her arm in mine, rubbing it soothingly as we walked toward the parking garage. "Everything will work out, sweetheart," she whispered. "Carlisle will know what to do."

I sucked in a deep breath, hoping with everything I had that Esme was right. If something happened to Bella, I just couldn't bear it. I lost her once; I wouldn't survive it a second time. I watched her as she walked several paces ahead of me. She turned her head slightly, taking a glance back at me, but quickly turned her head to face forward again. Rosalie tugged her along, all the while imagining what it would be like to hold a baby in her arms.

If it was Bella's intention to carry to term, whatever the creature may be, she chose the perfect family member to support her insanity. The only thing Rosalie wanted more out of life than a chance to regain her humanity was to have a child. I believe she would have preferred death to the frozen, childless existence she was doomed to all those years ago.

When we arrived in the parking garage, our group began to split apart – Rosalie and Bella walking toward Bella's Guardian and Jasper walking toward Carlisle's Mercedes. I stood there for a moment, glancing between the two cars. Esme looked up at me, a small pucker between her brows as she thought. _Edward should be with Bella, but I don't know if Rosalie will let her out of her sight..._

"Rosalie," Jasper called.

_What does he want? _Rosalie stopped abruptly, nearly causing Bella to tumble forward, but Rosalie caught her easily and steadied her on her feet. She turned to Jasper, a look of irritation on her face. "What?"

"I was going to suggest that you and Esme ride together in Carlisle's car. I can drive Bella and Edward in the Guardian."

"Absolutely not," she said, shaking her head vehemently.

"And why not?" I spat, feeling my temper flare.

"Because _you_ can't be trusted. You've made your feelings toward the baby quite clear. Bella needs someone with her who will protect her interests," Rosalie sneered.

"And I suppose that someone is _you_?" I shot back.

_How long are they going to go on like this?_

_We need to get Bella home. This arguing is getting us nowhere._

"Well, she called me..."

"Enough!" Esme hissed, her tone just a fraction lower than a full-bodied yell. She

stepped between us, her hands on her hips in a display of maternal authority.

"Rosalie, get in the car," she ordered, pointing to Carlisle's Mercedes.

_She has got to be joking. _Rosalie stared at Esme for several beats, absolutely fuming as she mentally gauged how serious she was. Bella bit her lip, looking between the two of them.

Bella angled her body toward Rosalie and placed her hand on her forearm. "It's alright," she whispered. "I'll be fine."

Rosalie's lips formed a tight line as she looked nervously between Bella and myself. To think that I would do something to purposely harm my wife was preposterous, but I doubted that it was Bella's safety she was concerned with. Rosalie's thoughts were consumed with the anticipation of holding a tiny baby in her arms. She had already conjured an image in her mind, although she didn't have any facts to support it. In truth, we knew absolutely nothing about the thing growing inside of Bella. I prayed that my previous preconceptions were wrong, but only Carlisle could help us to determine the answer to that question.

Bella began walking toward me as Rosalie looked on in defeat. I wrapped my arms around her, needing to feel her close. Jasper was already in the driver's seat when we reached the car. I followed Bella into the backseat, taking note of the loo of exhaustion on her face.

_The stress isn't good for her_, Jasper thought. I nodded in agreement, taking note of the exhausted expression on Bella's face. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, encouraging her to rest. She briefly smiled up at me as she tucked her legs up underneath her and lay against my chest. Jaspers calming ability surrounded us both like a warm blanket and Bella was asleep before the car had barely begun to move.

I traced the contours of her face as the Seattle skyline disappeared in the rearview mirrors. _My sweet Bella_...what on Earth was she thinking. After all our time together, after all our discussions of what she would be sacrificing to become like me, not once did she express a desire to be a mother. Why the change? Why now?

Jasper continuously glanced back at me, his mind tasting the temperament of my own. _It's understandable that you would be worried,_ he thought. _This is a lot to take in...for all of us. _He opened his mind, displaying the worried expressions of my family members. I shivered, seeing the frightened expression on Carlisle's face, how the possibility that I could impregnate Bella had eluded him. I saw Alice's frustration that she had not foreseen this and the accompanying guilt. Even Emmett, although more lighthearted in his commentary, was just as disturbed as the rest of them by this unprecedented development.

"Have you found anything?" I asked.

Jasper shook his head sadly. _Not yet, but we're not giving up. Carlisle seems to believe that this can't be an isolated incident, that this has to have happened at least once before. We'll figure something out. We don't want to lose Bella any more than you do._

"And Rosalie?"

Jasper blew out a slow breath as he kept his eyes trained on the road. _Bella must have called Rosalie shortly after you spoke to Carlisle. Esme and I were just as surprised as you when Bella ran to her in the airport. She made no mention of this prior to your arrival, although in hindsight, she did seem more on edge than would have been expected._

_ It was a brilliant strategy, asking Rosalie. We all know of Rosalie's obsession with motherhood, so of course she is the perfect ally. And with her on Bella's side, it is much less likely that you or Carlisle could force any course of action. Bella must have known of your intentions to terminate the pregnancy and decided to make a plan of her own. I fear that if we begin choosing sides, it will cause some division within the family._

I squeezed my eyes shut, reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. I couldn't argue with Jasper's logic, although I wish I could. Bella had made a decision, albeit a rash one without my knowledge, and stubborn as she is, sought out the means to ensure that her desire to carry the baby to term was met. It was a brilliant strategy. I almost wished I had had the foresight to ask Carlisle to fly to Rio to take care of the problem rather than flying Bella home. If I had any inkling that this was a possibility, I never would have allowed it.

Pulling Bella tightly to me, I took in a shuddering breath, overcome once again with the foreboding sense that I may lose her. In that moment, I swore to myself that if anything happened to her, I would hold Rosalie personally responsible. I would never forgive her if I lost Bella as a result of this insanity. I could feel Jasper's eyes on me, the concern in his mind over my own mental state.

"And Alice?" I asked. "Why was there no warning?"

Jasper sighed. _She's been asking herself the same question. When you spoke to Carlisle on the phone, it was Alice who had called. She was troubled by a vision, or lack of vision. She saw you in a state of shock, but became panicked when she couldn't see Bella. She was terrified something had happened to her._

Alice couldn't see Bella? Were her visions failing? "What do you mean she couldn't see Bella?"

_We don't know. We don't know why she didn't foresee the probability of Bella becoming pregnant either. Believe me, she's beat herself up quite a bit over that. She blames herself for trying not to see anything, for attempting to allow you both as much privacy as she could while on your honeymoon. But when something happened to you and Bella disappeared, I guess it was too much for her to ignore._

Was Alice's lack of vision merely an oversight on her part or was there truly something wrong? And why could she see me, but not Bella? The only time I could recall Alice having difficulty seeing Bella was when she went to La Push, but that certainly wasn't the case here.

_Don't be angry with her._

I shook my head. I shouldn't be angry for my sister for her lack of vision, but there was a small part of me that was furious that she didn't see this before it could have been prevented. I knew in my heart that it wasn't her fault. We relied far too heavily on Alice's visions for guidance. It was bound to fail us at some point.

The rest if the drive was spent in silent contemplation. There was so much to do, and with the quick progression of the pregnancy, we had little time to accomplish it all. Our first priority was to confirm the pregnancy and run the proper tests to see exactly what we were dealing with. I only prayed that if we determined that the fetus was a danger to Bella, she would see reason and allow Carlisle to do what was necessary to save her.

But what if she didn't? Was she the type of person who would sacrifice her own safety, or even her life, for the sake of another? I didn't even need to ask that question - I already knew the answer. She was willing to give up her life in exchange for her mother's when she went to the ballet studio. She was willing to follow Alice to Volterra in order to save me. She was ready to spill her own blood in the presence of three vampires to save me from destruction. Was she the type of person who would sacrifice themselves for someone else? The answer, unfortunately, was an unequivocal yes. A noble trait, but one that caused me great distress.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, hoping against hope that it wouldn't come to that. Did I dare to hope that what she carried inside her was a perfect child? Did I dare to hope that I could have everything I ever dreamed of but never thought would be attainable – a wife, a child, a family – everything I wanted to give Bella, but never believed I could?

_No. _I pushed the thoughts away, filed them away in the drawer of forgotten dreams and failed aspirations. I couldn't allow myself to become distracted with empty promises. They would only crush me if things went badly.

The surrounding trees gradually gave way until our house came into view. It felt like a lifetime ago since Bella and I were last here, since we said our farewells to our family and friends as a newly wedded couple. Could it really have only been a few weeks? Would Bella be my wife for such a short span of time?

I gritted my teeth and forced my mind to focus. Alice, Carlisle, and Emmett were waiting anxiously on the front steps. I had barely begun to awake Bella when Rosalie was opening the door and reaching in for her.

I hissed reflexively and pulled Bella tighter to my chest. Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me and reached for Bella's hand, patting it softly, but kept her gaze on me. "Bella, we're here," she said.

Bella's eyes slowly opened and I had to release my grip as she began to move and stretch. Alice appeared at Rosalie's side, looking on with great concern, but not before she took a moment to glare at Rosalie. _I'm so sorry, Edward,_ she thought. _I didn't know. I didn't see. If I had…_

I nodded slightly. It wasn't Alice's fault. I had no one to blame in this situation but myself. I was naïve to believe nothing could happen. I was ill informed about our physiological ability to procreate with humans. As much as I wanted to blame Alice or Rosalie or even Bella, the only one I could truly blame was me.

Bella took Rosalie's hand and eased herself up out of the car. Already, the protrusion in her stomach appeared even larger and seemed to be affecting Bella's center of gravity as she tried to upright herself. I rose from the car and Carlisle shot me a worried glance as he did a visual assessment of Bella's condition from where he stood.

_I can't believe it,_ he thought. _I never thought it was possible._

Without needing to hear his thoughts, I could already see it written all over Carlisle's face. Bella was indeed pregnant. The tests would be a mere formality. I took in a deep breath and held it as panic welled in my chest. Now what?

**A/N: You guys continue to blow me away with your kind words. The favorites, alerts, and reviews mean a lot and really keep me going. I'm really excited about the coming chapters and with the first movie coming in 100 days, I'm hoping to write through the birth before November 18****th****.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for her feedback and general awesomeness. And thanks to misticbutterfly who keeps me writing with our WC sessions. **


	13. Chapter 13: Unknown

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 13

Unknown

I paced the floor of my, I guess it was now our, bedroom. Bella lay across the golden comforter, her eyes closed, drumming her fingers lightly on her distended belly, keeping tempo with the pattering rain on the windows. Every few minutes, she would peek out from under her lashes to see me pacing, a small frown turning down the corners of her mouth.

We were awaiting confirmation from Carlisle, although at this point it hardly seemed necessary. The first test given was a urine analysis. For the sake of simplicity and time, Carlisle handed a small, white and pink plastic stick to Bella - your typical drugstore pregnancy test. I couldn't see past my current emotional state to appreciate the beautiful blush that crept up her cheeks as she took it from him. She had shot both Rosalie and me a disapproving glare when we attempted to follow her into the bathroom. We were instead exiled to wait in the hall, locked in a tense silence, like opponents who wordlessly sized each other up before a fight.

When the door opened, a grinning, pink faced Bella emerged, holding up the plastic device which now proudly displayed a pink plus sign. _Pregnant._ It may have well been the inked signature of a death warrant - for both Bella and myself.

Against Carlisle's ardent opposition, both Rosalie and I insisted to be present for the blood test. Bella gripped my hand as she leaned back on the couch, taking deep breaths through her mouth, her eyes squeezed shut. For someone so willing to become a vampire, it still amused me that she was terrified of blood.

Carlisle cast a glance at Rosalie who stood against the wall and she responded by halting her breath. "You'll feel a little pinch," he whispered soothingly to Bella as he gently stroked her forearm. I could see the flow of blood pumping beneath her translucent skin, watch as it rushed toward the needle as soon as an exit was presented. Carlisle gave me a wary look as we watched several small vials fill with the red nectar. He pressed a swab of cotton tightly to the tiny puncture on her arm, concealing the drop of blood that bloomed there when the needle was removed, and adhered it down with a small strip of surgical tape.

And now we waited - waited for further unnecessary confirmation. The wait was driving me mad, precious minutes ticking away, Bella's limited existence disappearing before my eyes. While Carlisle confirmed beyond the shadow of a doubt what we already knew to be true, we wasted valuable time that could be spent figuring out exactly what it was that Bella carried within her and what needed to be done to ensure her survival.

I was, however, thankful for this small respite, for some time alone with my wife without Rosalie hovering about. Bella needed to rest after the long journey and Esme insisted that we be left alone. If not for Bella's reassurances, Rosalie would be sitting right beside Bella, throwing daggers at me with her eyes. As it was, even if she wasn't in the room, it was clear that a large portion of her brain function was dedicated to listening in should Bella need her. The other portion was bent on breaking my will down piece by agonizing piece, displaying what a horrible man I was for even considering the notion of destroying my own child.

Ignoring her mental ribbing, I continued to pace, growing more anxious until I heard light footsteps and the thoughts of Carlisle and Esme coming near. I halted and Bella sat upright when they appeared in the doorway. Their thoughts were a mixture of tentative hope and concern. Esme crossed the room to sit on the bed beside Bella, taking her hand and cupping it in her own. Carlisle walked several paces into the room, his mannerisms vacillating between his medical bedside manner and a father about to discuss something very personal with his son and new daughter-in-law.

"Well?" Bella prompted.

Carlisle glanced up as though she had broken his concentration. He looked at Bella and then at me. _It's irrefutable, Edward. She's pregnant. _I stared at him as though he were speaking in an alien tongue. Why, when I knew what he would way, when we had already known what the result would be, did the confirmation from his thoughts terrify me so? I felt my muscles freeze in place as my body once again revisited the now very familiar state of shock.

"Carlisle," Esme whispered. "Care to share with the rest of us?"

He smiled sheepishly before unnecessarily clearing his throat. "It's been quite some time since something came along in this life that surprised me. Not since Bella came into our lives and changed us all..." Rosalie appeared in the doorway, eliciting a low growl from my lips. Carlisle paused, glancing between the two of us. _This is neither the time nor the place for that, Edward. Take up your issues with your sister when Bella isn't present to witness it._

I clenched my fists and stuffed them in my pockets as I leaned against the glass wall. Carlisle shook his head sadly before continuing. "I've witnessed some miracles in my lifetime, but nothing could have prepared me, prepared us, for this. Bella, you are indeed pregnant. I don't understand yet how it happened and still have trouble believing it was possible, but it can't be denied."

Esme and Rosalie exchanged smiles and the even Carlisle was trying to stifle the smile that was tugging at the corners of his lips. _Never thought I'd be a grandfather._

_ I can't believe it. A grandchild._

_ A baby...we've always hoped. I will keep my promise to do everything possible to protect it...no matter what._

Even Bella had a flush in her cheeks and a huge grin on her face as she lovingly stroked her swollen belly. Everyone in the room was imagining a tiny baby, a tiny human, with rosy cheeks and brown curls. Had they all gone completely mad?

"You're happy about this?" I asked, although with my tone, it came out as more of an accusation.

Bella tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as she turned to me. I could smell the salty tears building in her eyes and hated myself for hurting her once again.

"Of course we are, dear. You're going to be a father. Bella's going to be a mother," Esme reasoned.

"To what?" I snarled through gritted teeth. "Are you all delusional? Have you forgotten what we are? The _thing_ inside of her is not human, at least not entirely. We have no idea what it is. It could be a monster for all we know."

"Edward!" Esme reproved, wrapping a comforting arm around Bella as the threatening tears began to slip down her cheeks.

"We don't know that," Carlisle countered.

"My point exactly. You have no idea what we're dealing with."

"Neither do you." Carlisle crossed his arms and took several calming breaths before speaking again. "I understand your concerns, Edward, I really do. But you have no more reason to expect that the baby is a monster than we do to expect that it will be a perfect child. Let's be rational about this. I haven't even performed an ultrasound yet. Perhaps that will give us some of the answers we are looking for." _Please, Edward…be reasonable._

Bella nodded emphatically and turned to me, her eyes pleading. I breathed a sigh and shrugged. I was clearly outnumbered and Carlisle was right – we didn't know anything at this point. I was basing my conclusions on what I knew about my own personal demons and the words of a superstitious Ticunan woman. I only hoped that I was wrong, that an ultrasound would show us the image of the small baby Bella had envisioned in her mind.

"When can we..." Bella began.

"Whenever you like," Carlisle replied with a smile. "Let's just say that because of the unusual nature of the pregnancy, I decided to bring my work home with me. We have all the equipment we need right here in the house."

"Really?" Bella squeaked in disbelief. "And I'll be able to see our baby?"

Carlisle laughed at her enthusiasm. "That's the general idea."

"Then let's go," she exclaimed, scooting herself to the edge of the bed to stand. I reached out for her as she began to wobble, but Esme caught her from behind to keep her upright.

_Progressing so quickly...already affecting her equilibrium, _Carlisle thought to himself. He gave me a cursory glance as he held an outstretched hand to Bella. She took it gladly and followed him out the door.

I moved to follow, but Rosalie stood in the doorway with folded arms and a stern expression on her face. _Don't try anything. _I held back the growl that began building in my chest and shoved past her, following Bella to Carlisle's office.

The room had been rearranged to accommodate an examination table and several large pieces of equipment. Bella was easing herself onto the table when I walked in the door.

Carlisle had begun wheeling an ultrasound machine to the side of the table. _Ready for this? _he thought as the machine switched on, the small display empty and waiting for an image of whatever it was Bella carried inside her. He glanced my way briefly and smiled, trying to project some reassurance. I walked to Bella's side and she reached for my hand, smiling softly as she watched Carlisle work. Esme and Rosalie hovered by the door, both nervous and excited. Alice's absence didn't go unnoticed.

Carlisle held up a wand and explained to Bella the function of the machine. "May I?" he asked and she nodded timidly. He reached across her, gripping the hem of her shirt on both sides and slid it up just far enough to expose her belly.

Her sweatpants hung low on her hips, a distinct round shape protruding from her abdomen. It hadn't even occurred to me that, in the past several days, she had worn nothing but loose clothing and sweatpants. Not even a week ago, her stomach was completely flat. The rate of growth was both astounding and alarming.

He pressed his fingers gently around her growing abdomen, taking note of the height of the fundus to determine the gestational age of the fetus. I would have said two weeks, but listening to Carlisle's mind, the estimate was closer to twenty. His brow puckered and he chanced a quick glance my way. _This is progressing so much faster than a normal, human pregnancy. Try not to overreact. We should be able to get a better idea of what were dealing with when get a view inside._

He picked up a large, plastic bottle of gel and held it over Bella. "This will feel a little cold," Carlisle explained as he began to apply a liberal amount of blue-tinged gel to her exposed belly.

"Oh," she yelped as the cool gel made contact with her heated skin. It was a wonder she didn't have that same response whenever I touched her.

Carlisle began waving the wand back and forth, spreading the gel across her abdomen. All eyes turned anxiously to the monitor as we waited to get the first glimpse of what was growing inside her. _Strange, _he thought as he continued to maneuver the wand over her belly. The screen glowed brightly in the dim light of the room, but we saw nothing. It was as though the screen were filled with static, varying shades of gray, displaying none of the discernible features that one would expect.

The crease in Carlisle's brow deepened and I listened as Bella's heart rate began to pick up. Her bottom lip began to tremble. "Carlisle?" she asked in a hesitant voice.

His movements halted and he froze, like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. _I don't understand. I've never seen anything like it. _I cleared my throat, shattering the tense silence and gaining his attention. He looked up, his eyes meeting mine first before his gaze slowly shifted to Bella.

"Is there something wrong with the machine?" Esme whispered.

Carlisle opened and closed his mouth, but no words were spoken. I couldn't recall ever seeing him so dumbfounded. "Well," he began. "I'm not sure. The equipment seems to be functioning properly. Bella would you mind..."

He pressed his hands to her abdomen once more. _A solid mass. Some type of tumor, perhaps? But the rapid growth...the positive tests... _Carlisle's mind worked while his fingers traced the outline of the growing bulge beneath her skin. _It doesn't make sense. _

Then, without warning, Carlisle's hand jerked, like a reflex from touching a hot stove. _Fascinating. _He pressed his palm flat against her stomach again in the same spot. After several seconds had passed, a smile broke across his face and he began to chuckle. _Amazing._

"Edward, come here." He took my hand and pressed it to the same place. He smiled as he watched my face expectantly. Moments passed as I waited, both intrigued and unnerved by Carlisle's enthusiasm. And then it happened. A distinct thump vibrated through Bella's skin and into my own. Carlisle's smiled widened when he saw the expression of recognition on my face.

And it happened again. _Thump. Thump. _The thing...baby...whatever it was that grew inside Bella was making its presence known even if it couldn't be seen on the screen of the ultrasound. I knew from Carlisle's mind what to expect, but seeing something in the mind of another and experiencing it for yourself firsthand are vastly different.

Bella placed her hand over my own and smiled at me, a lone tear trickling down her cheek. A shot of warmth flowed from the connection straight to my heart. For the briefest of moments, I allowed myself to live in this moment, to acknowledge the emotions that filled me, to know what it was like to be a father connecting with his offspring while still in the womb. But the moment was fleeting.

"Why can't we see it on the monitor?" I asked.

"I'm not entirely sure," Carlisle replied, rubbing his thumb across his chin in quiet contemplation. "It is merely a theory, but perhaps, because you are the father of this child, it already possesses some of your physical traits. Our bodies are impenetrable by human medical devices. Ultrasounds, x-rays - they all bounce uselessly off of our skin. What if the cellular structure of the amniotic sac possessed the same attributes? It would be impervious to our attempts to see the child within it. I would venture to guess that, like us, it's a sort of early defense mechanism." _Fascinating, simply fascinating._

"So you're saying that what's growing inside her is like me...like us?" I envisioned a tiny vampire, like the immortal children, one too young to show restraint or to grasp the concept of an ethical code. The idea of something like that was disturbing, but even more so was the thought that the infant monster with no sense of restraint was currently residing within my human wife. The possibilities of what it could do to her from the inside were horrifying. My eyes grew wide and I jerked my hand away, silently chastising myself for feeling a connection to such a heinous creature.

"We don't know what it's like, Edward. This baby is just as much a part of Bella as it is a part of you. Until it's born, we really have no means of knowing which traits it will have adopted from each parent," Carlisle reasoned. "I would suggest an amniocentesis, but if I am correct in my assumptions about the protective barrier around the baby, the needle used to collect the fluid would be utterly useless."

"It doesn't have a heart beat," I added, my voice cold and detached.

"What?" Bella sat up on her elbows and stared at me, her head cocked to the side. "It doesn't have a...well, I guess that's possible, but I kind of expected..."

Carlisle moved to flip a switch on the ultrasound machine, but I grabbed him by the wrist. "We won't need a machine for that. Can you _hear_ a second heartbeat in this room? I certainly can't."

"Edward," Esme hissed. _You're upsetting Bella. Stop this._

"Well, can you?" I pressed.

Esme's brow furrowed, but she was silent. She could hear just as well as I could that the only heartbeat in this room was Bella's. Carlisle frowned and slowly shook his head. _But it's possible..._

"Isn't that proof enough that the baby, or whatever it is, shares more in common with us? How do we know that it's not just as dangerous to her as we are? It doesn't know restraint or the difference between right and wrong. It would no sooner distinguish Bella as its mother or its prey."

_No! _Bella inhaled sharply and folded her hands protectively over her stomach. Rosalie appeared at her side, her body tense and her mindset vigilant. Even Esme had shifted forward in a protective stance.

_We don't know, we just don't know... _ Carlisle was pensive as he shifted the equipment back to it's place along the wall. _I wonder. _"Edward, how do we know that your heart is not beating?"

"Excuse me?"

"How do you know?" he pressed.

"Well, I can feel that it doesn't beat, for one. But I can't hear it either. No one can, Carlisle...why...?"

He smiled softly as his mind opened to reveal his theory.

"You think that the amniotic sac, like our bodies, is impervious to sound as well?" I asked.

He nodded. "Think about it for a moment. An ultrasound machine sends high frequency sound waves through the skin that are intended to bounce off the objects within. In this instance, the protective barrier around the baby is like our skin and reflects the sound back to us rather than allowing it to penetrate through it. Wouldn't it stand to reason that any sounds _within_ that same protective barrier would be contained within it?"

Bella nodded emphatically and Rosalie shifted her chin slightly forward, challenging me to argue against Carlisle's logic. The argument was sound, but did nothing to prove or disprove the perception that the baby would be a danger to Bella.

"I'm not going to tell you that this pregnancy will be without complications," Carlisle continued. "All I'm saying is that it would be prudent to allow it to progress until it is deemed necessary to intervene."

My shoulders slumped. In an unexpected turn of events, it appeared that the only person on my side of this issue was me. The entire family, it seemed, had sided with Bella in allowing the pregnancy to continue. Didn't they understand that we needed to do something _before_ it hurt her? What good would come of waiting for her to be injured to prove that I was right in my initial assessment?

Bella eased herself upright and placed her palm against my cheek. My eyes closed as I leaned into her touch, unable to resist her, but hating myself all the same for my desire. It was my need for her, my inability to stay away, that brought us to this place. I should have stayed in Alaska after our first meeting, walked away instead of trying to prove that I wasn't a coward.

Her blood pulsed hot and quick in her veins, the artery in her wrist throbbing delicately against my chin. It would be all too easy to lean in, to press my lips to her wrist, to sink my teeth into her velvet skin and deliver the venom that would save her before any harm could befall her. It was our plan that she one day become like us. I could do it now before the thing inside her had a chance to do it's damage, before it was too late to save her.

I winced as the emotions welled within me. The desire to keep her safe was so strong, so overwhelming, that it seemed I would go to any length to save her - even if she would hate me for it later. I would rather see her alive for eternity and hating me than have her go to her grave with love still in her heart.

And so the days continued like this. I refused to leave Bella's side for fear that I may lose precious seconds with her. Thankfully, Rosalie had moderated her guard over Bella, appeased by Carlisle's reassurance that he would do nothing without Bella's consent, although she still kept a keen eye on me.

As the hours ticked by, I watched Bella's health slowly deteriorate before my eyes. Her already thin frame became gaunt and her pallor nearly as pale as my own. It seemed that no matter what form of sustenance she ingested, nothing would settle properly in her stomach. Whether it was her own body or the fetus within rejecting the food, I couldn't be sure, but it was no surprise that her weight was dropping when she was receiving little to no nutrients.

The bulge in her belly was steadily growing. If I could hazard a guess, it appeared that the gestational age of the fetus increased by nearly a week with each passing day. The timeline was quickly dwindling and I sat helpless as I watched my only love slowly dying. Her clothing was ill-fitting - loose in her arms and legs, but stretched thin around her midsection. I had offered to send Alice for some more appropriate clothing, but Bella refused, saying that she would be more comfortable in her sweatpants. I had, however, convinced her to wear some of my own shirts that would have dwarfed her completely if not for her belly. Before long, she would be wearing Emmett's.

I had tried to reason with her, to make her understand my concerns, but she insisted that she was doing this for us, that she couldn't destroy something that was created out of love. I asked her why she had chosen to make this decision without first consulting me and she replied in kind, reminding me that I had acted just the same on several prior occasions. I had nothing else to say after that.

This morning, like any other, Bella was showering while I waited impatiently in our bedroom. I paced back and forth across the room, listening to the wooden floorboards creak under my feet, listening to the ticking clock that seemed to grow gradually louder with each passing minute. The thoughts of my family lazily drifted in and out of my consciousness. Jasper and Carlisle were diligently researching to find anything they could on our particular situation. Esme was in the kitchen, attempting to create culinary alternatives in the hope of finding something that Bella could keep in her stomach. Alice, like me, was pacing the grounds, still berating herself for her lack of foresight and continued lack of sight where Bella was concerned. Emmett occupied himself with his video games while Rosalie flipped through a magazine that she was paying no attention to - her thoughts were completely saturated with the anticipation of the coming birth. I wouldn't be surprised if she took to knitting booties soon.

And here I stood, pacing silently as I listened to the pattering drops of water that echoed through the wall. I turned to the glass wall and leaned my forehead against it, looking out through the trees. If the foliage thinned a bit, I may be able to see the small cottage in the distance. I wished I could take Bella there now, but we needed to be here. Rosalie wouldn't allow Bella to be that far from her and I wanted Carlisle near should anything go wrong. Esme had made a few short trips to the cottage to finish it since we arrived, but chose to spend most of her time here. In the absence of Renée, Bella turned to Esme as her maternal figure during this delicate time.

_Bang! _My head snapped up and I rushed across the room, my palms splayed on the door as I listened to the sounds from the other side. "Bella! Bella, are you alright?" I called through the door.

I waited...one second...ten seconds...no reply. The scent of fresh blood made its way to my nose and I couldn't wait any longer. I turned the doorknob, but Bella had locked it. I pressed my palm on the door and pushed, bursting through the door and splintering the frame. Tiny bits of wood scattered the floor, crushed under my feet as I ran to Bella.

She was bent over, clutching a towel around her as she sat under the steady spray of the shower. A small trickle of blood flowed freely from a gash in her knee, tingeing the water with a swirl of pink. She looked up at me and her cheeks flooded with color.

"What happened?" I asked, bending down to assess the damage.

The space between her brows puckered and she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. "I fell", she mumbled, tugging the towel up to her chin.

"I can see that," I whispered as I pressed a cloth to the wound on her knee. "But what happened?"

"I just slipped," she said with a shrug.

"What happened? What was that noise?" Rosalie gasped, appearing in the damaged doorway. She clamped her hand tightly over her mouth and nose when she was met with the scent of freshly spilled blood. _What did you do? _She cast an accusing glance at me as she crossed the room to where I stood.

"I can take it from here," Rosalie snapped. She pushed herself between us and took the cloth from me. I looked at her, dumbfounded and seething. This was _my_ wife. I was perfectly capable of taking care of her.

Rosalie turned her head and glared up at me. "Well, what are you just standing there for? Go get a bandage from Carlisle." _Why don't you make yourself useful?_

I stared at her for several beats. My eyes glanced past her and I could see on Bella's face that, although she was already embarrassed, this sibling confrontation was making her uncomfortable.

"It's okay, Edward," Bella whispered. "She's just trying to help."

Perhaps it was juvenile of me to be hurt by this, but that didn't lessen the sting of being sent away, of being deemed unnecessary. I nodded curtly and turned to go without another word. I could hear Bella's whispered concerns follow me as I left the room. Perhaps it was her own pride and not my own that had suffered more in this instance.

I walked through the house to Carlisle's study to gather a bandage and some antiseptic and made my way back to the bedroom. When I returned, Bella was sitting on the edge of the bed in her bathrobe while Rosalie pulled a comb through her hair.

"May I?" I asked, gesturing to Bella's knee.

She nodded slowly and I knelt to the floor in front of her. I pulled back the satiny cloth to gain access to her knee. The wound was only a small scratch, probably caused by a razor. It should have occurred to me that the cause of Bella's fall was her attempt to shave her own legs. Without being acclimated to her new center of gravity, it was no surprise that she took a spill onto the shower floor.

The small cut had already begun to scab over. I gently wiped the swab of antiseptic across it and she hissed. I blew out a slow breath across the wound to lessen the sting before adhering the small bandage to her knee.

"Good as new." I smiled.

Bella reached out and ran her fingers through my hair, her short nails scraping delicately across my scalp. "Rosalie, would you mind…" she began. Rosalie's eyes narrowed at me, but she nodded, leaving the room as quickly as she had arrived.

I stood and lowered myself on the bed beside Bella. She leaned her head against my shoulder, taking my hand between her own. "I'm sorry about that," she murmured.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I was embarrassed...and Rosalie really was just trying to help."

"I know."

We sat in silence, the sound of Bella's heart beating and her light breathing were the only sounds in the room. As she cradled my hand, I took note of the new frailty that seemed to taint every feature. I could almost see the bones through her translucent skin as her hand caressed mine. Even the warmth of her skin seemed to have lessened by several degrees and the blush in her cheeks wasn't as deep a hue as it had been prior to the pregnancy Everything about her, every human trait that I treasured, was gradually disappearing.

Her stomach rumbled and she smiled sheepishly.

"Hungry?" I asked.

She nodded with a small frown on her face. "But I'm afraid to eat. Everything makes me sick. I've heard of morning sickness, but this is much worse than I ever imagined it would be."

"Esme has been trying some new recipes," I offered. "Perhaps we can find something that agrees with you."

"It's worth a try," she said with a shrug. I wrapped an arm around her and helped her to stand. She slowly rose, arching her back as she struggled under the weight of her growing belly. She walked a step or two behind me as we made our way down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Oh," she gasped, pausing mid-step. One hand was pressed against her belly and the other against the wall for support.

"Bella?"

She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. "It's nothing, I'm fine. Baby's just kicking, that's all."

I studied her for a moment, taking note of her elevated heart rate. The color had drained from her face and I wondered if she would be sick again, even before I had a chance to feed her something.

"I'm fine," she said again. She smiled weakly and waved me on.

We reached the top of the stairs and she hesitated briefly before taking a step down. And, almost in slow motion, I watched her gasp in pain, both hands clutching her midsection as her legs gave out from under her. I reached out, gripping her shoulders before she could tumble down the stairs.

"Bella, Bella!" I pleaded, terrified of what was happening to her and unsure of what I should do. "Carlisle!"

Bella's face was stark white and she took in short, ragged breaths as though her lungs were restricted. Her arms were folded across her stomach and her eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth set in a grimace of pain. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her entire body shuddered.

"Bella, what can I do?" I begged. I felt completely helpless. "Carlisle!" I yelled again.

He appeared at my side with a look of panic on his face as he visually assessed Bella's condition. "Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" _She's clearly in pain. _His mind began flipping through the various complications that could arise during a human pregnancy. The more severe the possibilities, the more terrified I became.

Everyone gathered at the bottom of the stairs and watched on in horror at the scene that had unfolded. None of us knew quite what to do. The barrage of concerned thoughts was setting me even more on edge.

Bella blew out a slow breath as her heart rate slowly began to descend. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled weakly. "I'm fine."

"You are certainly not fine," I retorted.

"Bella, can you tell us what happened?" Carlisle asked.

"It's nothing really. I'm fine." She shook her head and moved to stand, but Carlisle placed a hand on her shoulder. She stared at him for a moment and I could swear I saw a look of fear in her eyes. What was she afraid of? What was she hiding? Her gaze briefly flitted to Rosalie.

"I think you should let Carlisle take a look at you, love," I encouraged. If my time with Bella had taught me anything, I knew that she hid her weakness for the sake of others. If there was something wrong, she needed to let us help her.

She shook her head and tugged her lip between her teeth. "No, really…"

"Bella, please. For me?"

She blew out a breath, her gaze once again flickering to Rosalie. I delved into my sister's mind, but she was successfully blocking me with images of herself holding a newborn baby. Something wasn't right here. They _were _hiding something.

I reached for Bella's hands and she resisted, holding them tight across her belly. "What is it?" I pressed. "What are you hiding?"

Her eyes grew wide. Carlisle looked at me and then back at her, the pieces seeming to click into place for him as well. "You shouldn't hide your symptoms, Bella. We want to do everything we can to keep you healthy and make you comfortable. How can we do that if you don't tell us when you're in pain?"

She closed her eyes briefly before allowing her hands to fall down at her sides. Carefully, I reached out, placing my palms on her swollen belly. I could feel the movement of the fetus as it squirmed and kicked in its confined space. She winced as I reached for the hem of her shirt. The fabric slowly moved upward, exposing a slim strip of skin, and that's when I saw it. The more of her pregnant belly I revealed, the more horrified I became. Her stomach was a patchwork of black and blue splotches, some already yellowing and fading. This was not something new – she had been hiding this for several days at the very least.

"How long?" I asked, trying my best to keep my voice steady.

"Just a couple of days. It's nothing. The baby's just a strong, that's all."

There was a collective gasp from everyone that waited below as her stomach came into full view. The only one that didn't seem surprised by the sight was Rosalie. My eyes snapped to her and I gritted my teeth. She knew about this. That's why she wanted me to leave the room when Bella was in the shower. This was probably what caused Bella to fall. And together, they were trying to hide it.

"You knew about this!" I accused, pointing a shaky finger at Rosalie.

"Edward, don't," Bella pleaded, but I paid her no attention. I couldn't see past the rage that burned in my chest. I had known all along that the thing inside of her was a monster and had pleaded with them to stop it before it went too far, before it hurt her. And now, it _was_ hurting her, destroying her from the inside out, and they kept it from me. Was this thing more important to her than her own safety? Than her own life?

I jolted upright and flew down the stairs, rushing toward Rosalie, but Emmett stepped in front of me before I could reach her. He stood firm, his arms out in a defensive posture. _Don't do it, bro. Don't make me hurt you._

I peered around him, my fury building with the haughty look on Rosalie's face. "You knew about this, didn't you?" I seethed. "Admit it."

"I did." She shrugged matter-of-factly, as though it were of no consequence.

"_My_ wife is in pain! _My_ wife is being harmed and _you _thought it was okay to keep it a secret from me? What gives you the right?"

"I was only doing what was asked of me." _For the baby._

"That's all that matters to you, isn't it? That's all you care about. It doesn't matter if Bella gets destroyed in the process as long as you get a baby out of it!"

"At least I'm doing what she asked me to. How many times have you done that? How many times have you made decisions for her without asking her what she wants?"

Her words hit me like a slap in the face, but she was wrong. Every time I made a decision, every time I did something without first consulting with Bella, everything I did was to protect her. Rosalie's actions were doing nothing but putting her in danger.

I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to toss her across the room for allowing Bella to be hurt like this, for keeping me in the dark about her condition. Was I the only one here who understood the severity of this, that the consequences of allowing this insanity to continue would ultimately lead to Bella's death?

"Rosalie, so help me…"

"Edward!" Carlisle yelled.

I spun on my heel to face him, only briefly concerned about turning my back to Rosalie. I looked up at Carlisle. He was kneeling on the stairs with Bella's body draped lifelessly across his arms. _Oh God…_

**A/N: You all are simply amazing – your kind words are the fuel that keeps me going. As I've said before, I'm going to do my best to write through the birth before November 18****th**** so that I can cover all the material that will be in the movie. If you ever have questions or suggestions, feel free to PM me or you can follow me on Twitter ( sunray16). **

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for helping me keep the characters in character and providing much needed encouragement. And thanks to misticbutterfly – hoping her little one will let us WC again soon.**


	14. Chapter 14: Futility

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 14

Futility

Time stood still. I could feel my sanity begin to slip away as I stared at Bella's limp body in Carlisle's arms. Were we too late? Had the creature torn through a major organ, severed an artery, crushed her spine? Without thinking, my feet carried me to Carlisle's side, my hands shaking as I reached for her.

"Is she..." I choked out.

"She's unconscious," Carlisle replied curtly as he stood, cradling Bella in his arms. If it weren't for the fury and terror roaring in my head, I would have heard the slow, steady thrumming of her heart. I followed as he ascended the stairs and carried her to his study where he carefully laid her on the examination table.

I knelt beside the table and leaned over her, pressing her limp hand to my cheek as I silently prayed for her to awaken. The pain must have been too much for her; her mind must have shut down to protect itself.

With pursed lips and a furrowed brow, Carlisle lifted back her shirt and began examining her injuries. _She should not have kept this to herself,_ he thought. In the artificial light overhead, the wounds appeared even more ghastly than they had on the stairway. Deep purple and black bruises covered a large portion of her belly. Where some had begun to yellow and fade, they were replaced by fresh ones. I could swear that some of the bruises appeared to be in the shape of a small human foot. The creature inside her was strong like me, too strong for Bella's body to contain. I shuddered when I considered what internal damage it could be causing.

Jasper appeared in the doorway with his arms crossed. I could feel my anxiety reflected back upon me before it settled into an uneasy calm. _You need to keep that temper in check._

I looked up to glare at him. I had every right to be upset - with both Bella and Rosalie. Bella had expressed her desire to carry to term. I thought that she had dismissed my warnings about her safety, assumed I was overreacting as I admittedly had a tendency to do. But this was so much worse. Just as she understood and disregarded the danger I posed to her when our relationship began, she was once again knowingly putting herself in jeopardy. And for what? She had no idea what type of creature she carried - whether it would be a baby or a monster. For someone with little or no religious proclivities, she certainly possessed a great deal of faith.

Her hand still hung limp in my own. I pressed my lips to her palm and continued to whisper my prayers to whoever would listen. My mind began to clear under Jasper's influence. I looked up at him as he stood across the room with his arms folded. Why hadn't I seen it sooner? I was in such emotional turmoil, my focus centered entirely on Bella, that I had effectively blocked out all other thoughts – including my brother's. If I had been in a clearer state if mind, I might have sensed that it was Jasper's ability and not the pain that had caused Bella to faint.

"You did this?" I murmured.

He nodded slightly. "The shame of keeping secrets from you, the fear that you would take her baby away, the regret for the family discord it caused - it was all too much for her. Her body and mind are under enough stress and I could feel that she was reaching her breaking point..."

"So you protected her," I finished.

_Yes._

"Thank you," I whispered. Even my own brother turned out to be a better protector than I had. It seemed that no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I had become a miserable failure in that respect. All of my efforts to keep her safe and it was my recklessness that placed her in the most life threatening danger of all. And for whatever reasons justified my actions, right or wrong, Bella welcomed the result. I still couldn't understand her willingness to sacrifice herself for something she knew so little about. How could she be so certain?

_The contusions seem to be caused by the fetal movement. In addition to a protective barrier like our skin, it seems that it also possesses our strength. The human body is not designed to withstand such force. If the fetus continues to grow, its strength will increase as well..._

Listening to Carlisle's mental ramblings provided me with little comfort as he examined the extent of Bella's injuries. Perhaps now, though, at least he would understand my reservations for allowing the pregnancy to continue and even support me in encouraging Bella to terminate before the harm was irreparable.

He pulled her shirt down, concealing the trauma that had been done - the hurt I caused. He sat beside her, resting his chin on folded hands, and stared at me with a mixture if concern and disapproval. _So much damage...only going to get worse..._

"Carlisle," I whispered. "We have to do something."

He pursed his lips and nodded his head sadly. "I'm afraid you may be right. If the fetus is causing this much damage at this stage of the pregnancy, I am concerned for what it may do as it matures and its space within the womb becomes more confined. And with this level of bruising, we need to be aware of the possibility of internal bleeding and organ damage."

Jasper stood quietly by the door, but the tension in the room was mounting. My own concern, now compounded by Carlisle's, was beginning to affect Jasper's mood as well and it was reflecting back upon us. _What would you do? _he thought.

I gave him a withering look before I turned back to Bella, gently stroking her hand. "Terminate," I whispered. Carlisle was visibly pained when I uttered the word. His high regard for all life and belief that this pregnancy was truly a miracle clashed with the understanding that it would be in Bella's best interest if the fetus was aborted before it could be allowed to reach maturity.

_Absolutely not! _Rosalie's angry footsteps echoed through the house before she appeared in the doorway. Shoving past Jasper and crossing the room, she stood at Bella's bedside, her arms out to the side as she rested them on the table and stared accusingly at Carlisle and myself. "You will do no such thing!" she hissed.

My chair skidded across the floor as I abruptly stood, staring down my sister with clenched fists. This was a decision to be made between Bella and myself. It was not her concern. My body shook as I fought to keep myself in place.

A second later, a worried Emmett appeared at Rosalie's side, wrapping a protective arm around her and eyeing me warily. Rosalie's nostrils flared as she looked from me to Carlisle. "You can't be considering this," she growled.

Carlisle wiped his palm across his brow and heaved a heavy sigh. _It goes against everything I believe, but how can I not... _"Rosalie, please..."

"Oh no," she fumed. "Don't you dare try to justify it! Don't you care about the baby? What about what Bella wants?" I could feel the tendrils of Jasper's power attempting to reign in Rosalie's temper, but it was ill effective. Her body trembled as she leaned forward, almost in a crouch. It occurred to me that Emmett's presence may not only be to protect her from us, but to protect us from her.

"Remember your place, Rosalie," Carlisle warned.

"I do," she spat back. "I'm right where Bella put me. She asked me to help her protect this baby and that's what I'm doing."

I could see Carlisle's mask of calm slipping, his temper flaring as he stared agape at Rosalie. He stood abruptly and jerked back the fabric of Bella's shirt once again, nearly ripping the seams with the force of his movement.

"What about this, Rosalie?" he seethed, pointing a shaky finger at the black and blue marks on Bella's abdomen. "Don't you see what this is doing to her? Her body is not strong enough. If it continues her chances of survival..." His voice broke as his thoughts caught up to his hasty words. A sob built in his throat at the thought of losing a daughter, at the thought of what losing her would ultimately cost him. He glanced at me, the pain in his eyes searing through me as he imagined losing us both.

Hearing raised voices, Alice and Esme appeared in the doorway. The entire family was now gathered in Carlisle's study in what was beginning to feel like a macabre family meeting to decide my fate. Alice shot me a worried glance, showing me the images she had seen, or lack thereof. In every possible future, I saw family discord, sides being chosen. Even more disturbing than the disruption this pregnancy was already causing was the gritty and unfocused images of Bella. She wasn't absent as she had been in Alice's previous premonition, but her future was just as undetermined.

I cast Alice a questioning look, but she merely shrugged her shoulders. _I don't know why I can't see more...either she's very indecisive, which I highly doubt is the case, or the pregnancy has something to do with my distorted vision._

Snapping my attention back to the matter at hand, I turned back to Rosalie and Carlisle who were still locked in a silent standoff. "Rosalie, this isn't your concern."

"The hell it isn't!" _It became my concern the moment Bella called me for help._

"Babe, please..." Emmett whispered, but she brushed him off.

_Oh dear. _"Rosalie," Esme spoke up. "I appreciate what you're trying to do by honoring Bella's wishes, but that decision was made before we knew how dangerous this would be. Why don't we wait until she wakes and allow her to make an informed decision now that we know more?"

"You can't honestly think that she would change her mind," Rosalie countered. "She was fully aware of what the baby was doing to her, but her mind was made up." She paused, turning to point directly at me. "And don't you make the decision for her. Don't you dare bully her into something she'll regret."

I clenched and unclenched my fists at my sides, fighting the urge to wrap my hands around Rosalie's neck. Emmett pulled his arm tighter around Rosalie; the notion to carry her from the room was growing in his thoughts.

"And what if she dies?" I asked. "Have you thought about that? Have you thought at all about what that would do to me? Or do you even care?"

"Of course I care!" _How could you even ask that?_

"Enough," Carlisle said. "We will wait until Bella awakens. As her attending physician, for all intents and purposes, it is my duty to inform her about the risks so that she can make an informed decision."

"But..." _What about the baby?_

"Rosalie, I said that was enough! As Esme said, it is admirable that you are doing your best to protect Bella's interests, but it is first and foremost a decision to be made between her and Edward."

Rosalie's brow furrowed, her lips in a tight line. She wrenched away from Emmett's grasp and stomped angrily across the room, sitting in one of Carlisle's chairs and crossing her arms to wait for Bella to regain consciousness.

Carlisle slumped down in his chair and lowered his head into his hands. At times like this when the emotional turmoil took its toll, he truly appeared his age. The burden of quasi-fatherhood that this life had brought to him and the difficulty of maintaining familial harmony were, at times, too daunting for even a great leader such as Carlisle.

I resumed my post at Bella's bedside, taking her small hand in mine. Everyone still lingered in the room, an uncomfortable silence settling over us all. I closed my eyes and fought to block out the thoughts that swirled around me. Instead, I listened to the unsteady thrumming of Bella's heart, allowing the sound to surround me, to be the only thing that mattered.

Bella's fingers twitched in my palm. I gripped them tighter and opened my eyes to look on her face. Her eyes were still closed, but she wore a grimace of pain. "Carlisle," I whispered urgently. He too noticed the look of distress in her face and both of our eyes traveled to her swollen belly, still exposed.

If I hadn't witnessed it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it. I watched with a mixture of horror and fascination as her skin rippled and expanded. But then, as I watched the color bloom in that same place, watched the hue of red and purple gradually rise to the surface, I lost all sense of reason.

I didn't care if she hated me. I knew now without a shadow of a doubt that the creature, baby, whatever it was, wasn't going to stop until she was destroyed. If this was allowed to continue, I knew in my heart that I would lose her. I remembered too well what it felt like to experience her death. The memory of losing her was seared into my brain and even the thought of reliving that anguish was enough to bring me to my knees.

"Carlisle, do something," I pleaded. "Save her, please."

He stared at me for several beats, clearly torn between doing what he could to save her now and waiting until she was conscious to make a decision herself. Rosalie shifted in her chair, teetering on the edge, ready to intervene. The tension in the room was palpable and I didn't believe even Jasper could quell the storm that was brewing within me.

"Please."

"Edward?" Bella's melodic voice, however soft, carried to my ears, breaking my concentration. I gripped her hand and moved closer, leaning over to kiss her lightly on the forehead.

"You're awake," I breathed, smiling against her skin for that one small miracle. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," she whispered. "And a little hungry."

"I'll go get you something," Esme offered as she disappeared from the room.

Bella lifted her head and placed her palms flat on the table to push herself upright. I placed a hand on her shoulder, gently holding her down. "Bella, you should rest."

"Edward, I'm perfectly capable of sitting up on my own." She rolled her eyes as she shoved at me with her free hand.

"You really should rest," Carlisle agreed. "You need to conserve your strength."

She frowned, shaking her head. "I'm fine, really. I just want to go downstairs and get something to eat."

"We can bring it to you," I offered.

"Edward, I said I'm fine," she insisted. I begrudgingly removed my hand and she began sitting up. She had barely pushed up on her elbows before she squeezed her eyes shut and bit down on her bottom lip.

_She's still in pain. Edward, if she insists on going downstairs, it may be best to carry her. _I nodded once in agreement and gingerly scooped Bella up in my arms before she could protest. She wrapped her arms around my neck without argument and leaned her head against my chest. I could feel the unsteady beat if her heart and the light sheen of perspiration on her skin. Even her body temperature felt a degree or two lower than normal. I was already beginning to lose her.

I walked carefully down the stairs. Alice was already fluffing pillows on one end of the couch. Lowering her slowly, I laid Bella on the couch, propping her up against the pillows as Alice draped a thick blanket over her.

"Thank you." Bella smiled and reached for Alice's hand. She clasped Bella's hand between her own and smiled warmly in return. Her gaze briefly flitted to mine. _She's so frail, _Alice thought. The same blurry images continued to swirl in her mind and I could see Alice's growing frustration with her lack of clear vision.

Esme appeared, carrying a turkey sandwich and some ginger tea. She set the plate on Bella's lap and Bella eagerly took the steaming cup, wrapping both hands around the mug to warm them. Everyone seemed to have reconvened in the living room. We were tethered together by a common concern, each mind worried for both Bella and myself. It was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain any fragment of optimistic thought. I could feel myself gradually descending into the depths of depression and desperation.

I sat on the floor beside Bella and leaned my head against her thigh. Everyone was gathered around, the same question on everyone's mind, but not one wanted to be the first to voice it. My eyes met Carlisle's and he nodded sadly, understanding that it would be best for him to deliver the news.

"Bella," he began. "How long have you been experiencing this pain?"

Her heart began to increase in tempo as she lowered her eyes, staring at the tea in her hands. "A few days," she murmured.

My body stiffened. She had been in pain for days and hadn't said a word. Based on the presence of yellowing bruises, I knew that it had been at least a few days, but the admission from her lips hurt me deeply. A stab of betrayal pricked my heart – the idea that she would keep something like this hidden from me. How could I protect her from an unseen danger? How could I help her when she hid the very fact that she needed help?

"Days?" I whispered.

She nodded, biting her lip.

"Bella, why didn't you say anything?" Carlisle continued.

She lowered her eyes to mine and reached down, placing her palm against my cheek. "I didn't want to hurt you," she replied. "You already worry too much."

"Bella," I groaned. "You shouldn't have kept something like this to yourself. If you're in pain, we need to know. How else can we help you?"

Her expression was pained and tears began to collect in the corners of her eyes. "I...I..."

"She didn't want you to murder her baby, that's why!" Rosalie blurted out. All eyes turned to her. Both Esme and Carlisle shook their heads disapprovingly.

I chose to ignore Rosalie's outburst - it would only add fuel to her argument. "Bella?" I asked. I reached up, gently rubbing my palm along her forearm.

"On the island, you said..."

"I said we were going to get that thing out of you," I finished.

She nodded and brushed her fingers across her eyes, wiping away the tears that had collected there. As I had feared, she had every intention of seeing this pregnancy through and was stubborn enough to keep the damage it was causing a secret from me.

"Bella, you need to be aware if the risks," Carlisle warned. "I fear that, as the fetus continues to grow and take up more space in the womb, the damage it would cause could be life-threatening."

She nodded as she brushed away another tear. Her free hand rested on her belly. "I understand, Carlisle."

_Edward, I don't believe she has the capacity to be concerned for her own welfare, _Carlisle thought. _I've seen this look before on the faces of mothers in high risk pregnancies. She will do almost anything to preserve the life of her child._

"We have to do something," I whispered low enough so that Bella wouldn't hear, but unfortunately loud enough so that everyone else in the room, not just Carlisle, heard me as well. Rosalie stiffened and the rest of the family exchanged worried glances.

Carlisle shifted uneasily in his chair. He glanced between Bella and myself. _We can't afford to lose either of you, _he thought. "Bella, I understand what this means and, believe me, I'm the first to celebrate such a miracle." He paused, taking a deep, unnecessary breath. "But based on the inherent dangers and probable complications as the pregnancy continues, it is my recommendation that you consider terminating the pregnancy."

Bella stared, openmouthed, at Carlisle for several beats before wrapping both hands protectively around her abdomen. Rosalie, too, moved next to Bella, prepared to fight for the baby she carried. "No," she replied with more force than expected. "Absolutely not."

"Bella, do you understand that as this progresses, the damage will be worse. You could have massive internal bleeding, organ damage, fractured bones..."

"I don't care." She shook her head emphatically. "We created this baby out of love. I could no sooner destroy it than I could destroy Edward."

"But you're willing to destroy yourself," I snapped, losing whatever tenuous grip I had on my temper. She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and clenched so tightly that the surrounding skin turned white. Her heart was surprisingly steady given the accusation, but it was not lost on me that she had not responded.

_Go easy, Edward._

_ She's not going to change her mind and I won't let you make her._

_ This is not going to end well._

A growl rumbled in my chest as I turned to glare at my family members, their thoughts further exacerbating my already frayed nerves. I turned my attention back to Bella. She was still silent, still nervously biting her bottom lip.

"Bella, please. Be reasonable. It's too dangerous," I pleaded. "I'll do anything, anything you want. But I can't lose you."

"You won't," she whispered.

"You heard what Carlisle said. You're only halfway through the pregnancy and look at what it's already doing to you." I gestured to her belly as she continued to hug it protectively.

"I'm strong enough."

"You're not."

"I am," she insisted, glaring down at me through narrowed eyes.

"You might think that you are…but I'm not."

Her eyes softened and she reached down, placing her palm on my cheek. She leaned forward, pressing her lips to my forehead, and I had to choke back the sob that threatened to spill from my lips. _No,_ this was absolutely absurd. I couldn't allow her to throw her life away. For what? We still had no idea what she was carrying.

"No," I shook my head. "I won't let you."

_Edward._

_ Not a chance._

"It's not your decision." Bella pulled her hand back and resumed her position with arms crossed over her belly. "I've made up my mind."

"So you're not giving me any choice in the matter? Don't I have any say?" I could feel the panic setting in. I could hear the tiny voice in the back of my mind saying that it served me right, that I deserved to have my decisions taken away just as I had done to her before.

"You do have a choice. You can choose to support me and to help me. You can choose to be a father to this baby." The tears sprang in her eyes once again and she quickly wiped them away.

I looked to Carlisle, feeling hopeless in my attempts to persuade Bella. _She knows the risks,_ he thought. _I don't think it would be right to force her. _My eyes were pleading as I stared at my father, praying he would have some magic words to convince Bella to change her mind.

"Bella, please understand," Carlisle began. "This is a very high risk pregnancy and there is no guarantee you will survive. Are you willing to make that type of sacrifice?"

"I will survive," she whispered. "I will."

I looked into her eyes. She seemed so certain. "What if you don't?"

"I will keep my heart beating. You can take care of the rest."

_What?_

_ Does she mean?_

I shifted back, shocked by her words. She had no intention of surviving this; she knew it would destroy her. She was counting on my venom to heal whatever damage the infant monster caused. I dragged my fingers through my hair, pulling at the strands in frustration. Changing her was going to be difficult enough for me to bear, but to have the added pressure of her life hanging in the balance was overwhelming.

"You don't plan to survive…human…do you?" I asked.

She nodded. "I knew from the moment that I fell in love with you that I would want to be with you forever. That has never changed. Maybe this isn't the way we intended for it to happen, but if we can still have forever and gain something else we never imagined possible, why not do whatever we can to make it happen?"

"Because it's too dangerous," I pleaded. "There are some things that even our venom can't repair."

"I have faith in you."

"You shouldn't."

"She's made up her mind, Edward. Just leave it alone," Rosalie hissed.

I growled reflexively, shifting on the balls of my feet, ready to pounce before Emmett stepped between us. _It's not worth it, Bro. Stand down._

"Edward," Esme spoke softly. "Rosalie's right. Her mind is made up."

I stood and began pacing, tugging roughly at my hair. "Does anyone else here understand how insane this sounds? We're willingly allowing her to risk her life for something we know nothing about. I'm sorry, but I don't care. I can't lose her, not like this."

"It's out of your hands," Esme soothed. _Please, Edward, try to see it from her perspective._

"Carlisle, please," I begged. "Isn't there something you can do?"

"What are you going to do, Edward?" Rosalie spat. "Forcibly abort your own child?"

"Edward, no," Esme reproved, "that's not the way."

"So the right way is to sit here and watch her slowly die? Carlisle, you know how fine the line is between life and death – that there are some injuries that venom can't heal. What if it kicks her heart so hard it explodes? What then?"

"I don't know, son."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," Bella insisted.

"No, no," I seethed. "It's not one I'm willing to take."

"You can't force her," Rosalie said. "I won't let you."

"And neither will I," Esme added.

I turned to stare at my mother. I had expected her protective instinct and desire to preserve both Bella's life and my own would cause her to see things my way, but as I listened to her thoughts, I understood perfectly why she was siding with Bella.

"I know what it is to lose a child," she continued. "I won't let you put Bella through that. Trust me; it is a wound that will never heal." Carlisle wrapped an arm around Esme and lowered his head, his feeling of defeat matching my own. He knew in his heart that if this went badly, not only would they lose Bella, but they would lose me as well. I couldn't survive losing her again.

It felt like the night after we returned from Volterra all over again – my family members all voting against me to damn Bella to soulless existence. This may be an informal family meeting, but the result was the same. I was fighting a losing battle with no one at my side.

"Alice," I pleaded, hoping for someone to support me in my efforts. "What do you say about all this? Can you see anything at all?" I knew the answer before I asked it, but I couldn't help myself.

She shook her head sadly. "I can't see anything. I wish I could. Bella is my best friend and you know I would do anything to help her. I don't think her decision is sound, but I don't see what else we can do."

So that was it. I was utterly helpless, powerless to do anything to save my wife. I would be forced to watch her be slowly broken down, die a little bit every day, and there was nothing I could do – nothing anyone would let me do. If I thought I could get past Rosalie, I would grab Bella in my arms and run away with her. I had two medical degrees – I could perform the procedure myself.

_Edward, no, _Alice thought._ I can see enough to know that that course of action would be catastrophic. _Alice displayed the images in her mind – a future where Bella hated me, where I was alone, and where my actions destroyed the very ties that held our family together.

I slumped to the floor and lowered my head in my hands. I wouldn't be strong enough for this. I may be too far gone to be of any help when the time came to try and save her. I heard soft murmurings flowing through the room, but paid little attention. Nothing else mattered. My fate had been decided, the power to do anything stripped away.

I didn't raise my head until I heard Carlisle's footsteps cross the room. I looked up and found my focus again, looking into his thoughts. He already had the phone up to his ear, making arrangements for more medical supplies, more means necessary to keep Bella alive as long as possible. Blood, nutrients, x-ray equipment – it was terrifying to listen to the array of things he thought might be necessary because with each item, I imagined why it would be necessary, what damage would befall Bella to require its use.

I lowered myself at Bella's side once more. And so here I sat, bound and broken, exiled to a fate where I would be forced to watch my only love wither before my eyes. To have the power to change the course, but be unable to use it was probably hardest of all to accept. I had it within me to save her, but my hands were tied. I gazed up into her face, into the eyes that held her deepest secrets, her silent mind that tormented me, now more than ever before. How much longer would I have her? How much longer would I be able to gaze on her face? She believed that I could save her, that we could have it all. I didn't have the capacity within me to see anything more than the eventual end of all that I know and love.

**A/N: I can't believe this story has passed 800 reviews! Thank you all for your kind words and continued support. I couldn't do it without you. **

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for getting me through a bit of a tough spot with this chapter. And special thanks to twi4mut for recommending Beyond Dusk to TweetAFic – I don't think this story's ever gotten that much exposure.**


	15. Chapter 15: Hopelessness

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 15

Hopelessness

_ Tick...tock...tick...tock._

The second hand moved, keeping time, marking the passing seconds until I met my end.

_ Thump, thump...thump, thump._

Bella's heartbeat – the only sound in the world that mattered – kept time with the ticking clock, each second passing was another heartbeat that I would never hear again. Time seemed to stand still, each moment feeling like an eternity, yet time was passing far too quickly. Her precious heartbeats were numbered.

I watched helplessly as my love withered before my eyes. The monster within her – _the parasite_ – was slowly killing her from the inside out, robbing her of any means of sustenance. Her skin hugged her bones, her hair had lost its shine, her cheeks had lost their color. Even her scent, the intoxicating aroma that had once called to me, reeked of death. She was vanishing before our very eyes.

She clutched her belly protectively, stroking it with some misplaced sense of affection toward the monster that was gradually draining away her life. Purple splotches bloomed where there was once creamy skin. Every wince of pain, every whimper, was a stab through my heart.

The agony of watching someone you love go through such pain, the horror of knowing that you are the cause of their suffering, is the worst torment imaginable. Flames of guilt licked my skin, setting me ablaze in my anguish. The memory of venom searing through my veins was nothing compared to the torture I was now forced to endure. I would gladly suffer a thousand years of the stinging pain of venom than be forced to tolerate another second of this affliction.

I would give anything to take her place, to ease her suffering. _I wish it were me._ The world would not miss a monster such as myself, but to deprive the world of such a brilliant soul was a complete and utter tragedy.

I couldn't tell you how much time had passed. For me, time was measured by the beats of her heart and the growing inches of her abdomen. The creature's movements had become so strong that they were easily seen, even through her clothing. She had taken to wearing Emmett's sweatshirts – they were the only thing that would fit her now as she still insisted that Alice not buy maternity clothing for her. I was, however, thankful that the membrane surrounding the creature was impenetrable, like our skin. It was, perhaps, the only thing keeping Bella's insides from being crushed entirely.

The mindset of the house had shifted from one of vocal concern to one of quiet determination – everyone doing their part to save both Bella and myself. I wasn't able to share in their tentative optimism.

Carlisle had taken a sabbatical from work to care for Bella, as much as Rosalie would allow. His office had been converted into a makeshift emergency room with equipment I prayed would never be necessary. He spent his days researching with Jasper and preparing for whatever horrors might befall Bella on the day the parasite decided to emerge from the womb. His presence was also necessary to bring validity to the charade of Bella's 'illness', the excuse she used to make contact with her father while assuring his distance. I had been adamantly opposed to the idea of contacting him, but it seemed that she had given up completely on listening to anything I had to say.

Jasper was deep in research, attempting to do what he could do to help, but also distancing himself as far from me as he could while still remaining in the house. Carlisle insisted that his ability would be invaluable in keeping Bella calm should the need arise, but dealing with my own demons had become too much for him to bear. The depths of my depression were far too deep for his powers to be effective – all I did was drag him down with me.

Even Alice kept her distance. The blurry images running constantly through her mind tormented her nearly as much as my helplessness tormented me. She felt guilty for failing me in my most desperate hour of need and, like me, she felt useless as she too watched her best friend slowly die. She wore a grimace of pain that matched Bella's and she spent most days with her head in her hands, uselessly rubbing her temples to bring some relief from the constant buzzing in her brain.

Rosalie was ever–present, hovering over Bella and doting on her, encouraging her insanity, all the while her thoughts on the unborn child and its impending birth. She kept a close eye on both me and Carlisle, wary that our desperation to save Bella would drive us to act rashly. And where she was, Emmett also was, keeping a wary eye on me, ready to protect his wife if necessary. I found it sanctimonious that he was allowed to protect his wife, but I was barred from protecting mine. His normally jovial demeanor was subdued – like Jasper, he had long since given up on trying to improve my mood.

With the exception of Bella and Esme, everyone seemed to be distancing themselves from me. Both women with strong nurturing instincts bolstered me when I didn't deserve it. Bella suffered because of me, because of what I had done to her, yet she was the one to stroke my hair and to whisper soothing words.

Esme, it seemed, was torn in her loyalties. She sympathized with Bella's plight and wouldn't dare to take a child away as had been done to her, yet she feared what may happen if things went badly. The idea of welcoming a child into the family made her heart swell with joy, but conversely, the thought of losing two dear children in the process was more than she could bear. Most of the time she kept her thoughts well hidden from me, but the fear of losing her family was stronger than the blockades she built in her mind to cage those thoughts.

But true to form, she did her best to put on a brave face as she fretted over me, encouraging me to feed at every opportunity. I couldn't do it – I couldn't leave Bella's side. I wouldn't waste the precious seconds I had left with her on something as trivial as that. It had been a week since I last fed, a week since I ran through the jungles of Brazil only to return to the nightmare that now ensnared me.

As weak as I had become, as overwhelmed by guilt and sadness as I was, I still kept the darkest parts of myself hidden from Bella. As her body grew weaker, the strain on her heart only increased. Any undue stress could be disastrous in her delicate condition. She knew that I suffered – I wasn't strong enough to put on a brave face, even for her. But there were brief moments when we were apart, when Rosalie insisted on Bella's privacy to bathe or to have her _human moments. _It was in those times that I held my head in my hands and allowed myself to feel the full extent of my own self loathing, to let myself sink down into the depths of the darkness that threatened to engulf me. I was a murderer, _a monster_, and I deserved to despair in the deepest circle of hell for what I had done. Even more than the human lives I took in my past, none compared to the level of guilt I felt for what I had done to my love.

So the clock kept ticking, the moments kept passing by, and with each passing second, the hopelessness and desperation within me grew. I sat at Bella's feet, clenching my fists so tightly that tiny fissures, like the delicate spindles of a spider's web, spread out across my strained knuckles. I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to scream as she lovingly stroked her stomach, humming her lullaby to the monster within. The melody stopped when the phone began to ring.

"Cullen residence," Esme's soft voice broke through the solitude. Her eyes flickered to Bella and then to me. _Charlie again_, she thought. The corners of her mouth turned down in a frown as she began to, once again, lie to Bella's father, to the man who had trusted us, trusted me, to care for his only daughter. What a disappointment I turned out to be.

"Hi, Charlie. It's good to hear from you again. I hope you're well."

Bella's head snapped up at the mention of her father's name. I was thankful that the sound of Charlie's voice didn't travel from the receiver to Bella's ears as clearly as it did to mine. Charlie strived to be a pillar of strength, never, like me, allowing to her to know the full scope of his concern. But when he spoke to Esme or to Carlisle, he was broken and pleading, desperate for a sliver of information about his daughter, begging for the opportunity to see her. I knew that it pained them both to keep him in the dark like this, but we all knew it was for the best. We couldn't risk exposure, not if we wanted him to be safe.

"Carlisle is doing everything he can," Esme assured him. "I'm sorry, but he still has her under quarantine...no, but we hope she will be well enough for you to visit soon...hold on just a moment."

Esme pressed a small button on the phone to mute the call. _He wants to speak to Bella,_ she thought. She clutched the phone to her chest, lines of worry creasing her brow. "Bella, sweetheart, it's your father. Do you feel well enough to speak with him?"

Bella nodded and held her hand out for the phone. Her outstretched arm quivered, too weak to support even its own weight. Her heartbeat increased in tempo in anticipation of speaking to Charlie, of the knowledge that she would once again be forced to lie to him for his own protection.

I wanted to snatch the phone from Esme's hand, to beg forgiveness from Charlie for what I had done and plead for him to talk some sense into his daughter. If she wouldn't listen to me, perhaps she would listen to him. But, as in all the other scenarios that rooted in my mind, all the other ways I imagined trying to save her, I knew that it would end just as badly.

Every moment in the past week that had not been focused on helping her was instead concentrated on finding some way – _any_ way – to convince her to change her mind. Neither Alice nor I were successful and her father was ignorant of what we are. The only other person she would remotely listen to that had any inkling of the type of danger she was facing was Jacob. As much as I loathed to even consider the notion of involving that mongrel, he was likely my last hope in reaching her. I knew that he still loved her, that, just like me, he would do anything to save her. But how could I reach him? Surely he wouldn't answer my call and I shuddered to think of what may happen if I left Bella's side to find him. I didn't even know if he was still in La Push. After the emotional display at the wedding, it was highly likely that he had run off again. And if I did reach him, would we once again be locked in the same battle for her heart? Not that it mattered now. I would willingly give her up, sacrificing my own happiness, if it ensured her survival.

But I was paralyzed by my own fears, by the knowledge that nothing I could do would result in a happy ending for any of us. The question that remained, the inquest that pervaded my every thought – when that end did come, who would walk away happy? Would any of us? I honestly couldn't see a result that didn't end in death and heartache. The sun was setting quickly on Bella's life, the dusk was fast approaching, and there was nothing but blackness beyond it.

The sound of rustling fabric and Bella clearing her throat shook me from my thoughts. "Hi, Dad," Bella wheezed into the phone. Her heart rate escalated further as her father began to speak. He was becoming increasingly worried and less and less adept at hiding it from her. "I'm feeling a little better today," she lied. "No, Dad, I don't want to get you sick."

A tear slowly trickled down her cheek. I reached up, brushing my thumb across her prominent cheekbone, taking great care; it felt as though she could crumble at the slightest touch. I kept my hand there, cradling her head as she leaned into my touch. Tears continued to gather in her eyes and escape, weaving meandering paths across her already moist cheeks. She struggled to keep her tone even, but her voice wavered, only serving to increase her father's insistence that he see her. She hated lying to him.

I didn't understand – didn't understand why Charlie listened. I would have refused to listen, would have forced my way to Bella to see for myself if the stories about her illness were true. And I didn't understand her. I didn't understand how she could put her father through this. Why insist on speaking to him now? If she truly believed she would not survive this pregnancy without the aid of venom, why would she make the eventual separation that much harder by forcing him to witness her demise from afar? I felt akin to Charlie, both helpless to do anything to save the one we loved, both waiting for the possibility or eventuality of her death.

Even after the call ended, Bella kept the phone to her ear, her thin fingers clinging to it like a life preserver, the only thing that still connected her to her human family. I reached up and took the phone from her hand. She stared off for a moment, lost in the silence of her own thoughts, but then her bottom lip began to tremble and a heartbreaking wail echoed from her lips.

_Oh dear, _Esme fretted. I handed the phone to Esme and reached for Bella. Rosalie hissed, arching her body protectively over her. _Not a chance. _

"Back off, Rosalie," I growled as I again reached for Bella and scooped her up in my arms. She had grown so thin, she felt like a small child as I held her to me. I sat back down on the couch, Bella cradled to my chest as I rocked her gently. She buried her face in my shirt, her salty tears staining the fabric as she let out her grief, gradually letting go of her father. Rosalie remained fixed at my side, watching my every move in anticipation that I might take this chance to run away with Bella in my arms. Admittedly, the thought had crossed my mind. The more time that passed, the less and less I cared about how my actions would affect the future. As the opportunities to save Bella slowly slipped through my fingers, the more and more I wondered if the end would justify the means.

But for now, I would do what I could to comfort her and keep her calm while inside I blazed with the agony of watching my only love's suffering. I hated that she was being forced to give up so much at once – her family, her life, her humanity. If I were honest with myself, if I had had the opportunity to say goodbye to my family, knowing now what I didn't know then, I may have done just the same. No matter how much Bella wanted this life, no matter how much she wanted this..._baby..._it didn't change the fact that she had decided to wait, that she hadn't been ready to let go of her humanity. Now faced with the inevitability that she would no longer have Charlie in her life, so soon after getting him back, she was forced to let him go.

_What happened? Is she in pain?_ Carlisle thought as he appeared in the room, followed by Alice and Jasper.

Sensing the presence of the others now in the room, Bella sucked in a shuddering breath to stifle her sobs and brought her hands up to her face, wiping her palms across her tearstained cheeks. "Sorry," she whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Esme soothed. "We all hate keeping Charlie in the dark, but it's for his own safety."

"I know," Bella sniffled, "but that still doesn't make it easy."

"Saying goodbye is never easy," I whispered, wondering if she would hear the dual meaning in my words. For me, every passing second that we stood idle was another silent goodbye.

"It's the hormones." Rosalie tossed a blonde curl over her shoulder. "Every woman gets overly emotional during a pregnancy. It's perfectly normal."

"There is nothing _normal _about this," I hissed under my breath.

_That's enough, _Rosalie thought as she moved to stand in front of me, her arms crossed. _Time to move._

A low growl rumbled in my chest. A moment later, Emmett appeared to stand behind Rosalie and Esme at my side. I choked back the words I wanted to say, the arguments I wanted to scream at my siblings. Bella's frail body and struggling heartbeat kept my temper in check. With a heavy sigh, I stood and gently lowered Bella back down to the couch before sinking to the floor at her feet.

I felt trapped in a cage of my own making. Weak and powerless and slowly being driven to the brink. I didn't know how much longer I would last before I finally snapped. _Could a vampire go insane? _It may not be long before I discovered the answer.

As quickly as everyone had appeared in the room, they all disappeared just as swiftly, trickling back through the house to continue their tasks, each doing what they could to cope with the events of the day. And I was left, weak and cowering at Bella's feet, once again exiled to burn in my own personal hell.

I resumed the task of counting the beats of Bella's heart, periodically listening to the thoughts that filtered unbidden through my mind. I tried to block them out, to ignore the thoughts of those who refused to help me, but they still broke through like uninvited guests, taking root and pushing me further toward the edge.

_Thump– thump...thump–thump...thump–thump..._

I didn't notice when Esme brought Bella something to eat, but the sound of retching, of solid and liquid hitting the side of a basin, gained my attention. I moaned quietly, clenching my fists until I could hear them crack and sinking myself into the folds of the blanket that fell from Bella's legs to the floor. Another opportunity for nourishment..._wasted_. Even Carlisle's attempts to ease her nausea through medication had been for naught – a shame after the debate with Rosalie it took to convince her to even allow him to try.

Another loud splatter in the basin and a soft whimper from her lips pierced through me. I moaned again, clamping my hand over my mouth to stifle the sounds of my torment. _Get a grip, _Rosalie thought to me as she brushed hair, damp with sweat, back from Bella's forehead. I buried my face back in the blankets, wishing I could disappear within them, surrounded by the faint scent if Bella that clung to the fibers.

I hated her new scent, the scent of the thing growing inside her tainting her own. I longed for the clean scent of lavender and freesia again, not marred by the sweetness of the demon or the stench of death that accompanied it. Would I ever smell it again? I wondered absently how long after she was gone would her perfume linger in the house. How long could I hold onto some part of her? I hazarded a guess that her scent would linger long after I was gone. If there was such a thing as mercy in this world, her death would swiftly be followed by my own.

_He'd want to fight me alone._

Angry and frightened thoughts filtered into my mind from the outside world, thoughts I had not heard in weeks and certainly didn't expect to hear now. _Jacob._ Almost as an answer to my unspoken prayer, the one person who might side with me, the only other person who would feel the same level of hatred for the spawn growing inside her, was close by.

_Ugh...reeking vampires._

He was _very_ close. I could now hear the rumbling of an engine – no doubt his motorcycle. Rosalie's head shot up as she craned her neck toward the door. _Is that an engine? Is someone coming?_

Esme and Emmett had also heard the noise and exchanged worried looks. The rest of my family appeared in the room, their thoughts converging on a single word. _Exposure._

"Edward, can you hear their thoughts? Is it Charlie?" Carlisle asked with wide eyes, his tone fearful. _How will we explain this? How can we protect him...protect the secret?_

Rosalie shook her head. "That's not a car engine."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "The pitch is too high and the resonance too loud – that's a motorcycle."

Bella's eyes followed those of my family as her gaze turned to the front door. "Jacob?" she whispered.

_Jacob! _"What does that mongrel think..." Rosalie hissed.

"The wolves are coming?" Esme gasped. "Carlisle, what do we do?"

"The treaty prevents the pack from coming," he replied, shaking his head. "And if they were coming, I think they would come on foot. I only hear one engine and if Rosalie and Bella are right, then it appears Jacob has come to pay a visit."

"What makes him think he can just drop in unannounced?" Rosalie seethed. "He is not welcome. And how can we hide this," she jutted out a finger, pointing it at Bella's round stomach, "from him? We can't let him in!"

The engine quieted and the sound of footsteps on the gravel drive signaled the arrival of our visitor. I glanced up at Bella. Her face was pale, her expression grave, her breaths shallow.

Carlisle peered through the window. _Jacob, _he thought. "And what can we say to make him go?" Carlisle reasoned.

"I don't care!" Rosalie fumed. "Jacob Black is an unwelcome guest. Say anything! How did he even..._you!" _she accused, pointing a finger at me. "You called him, didn't you? It won't work – I won't let him near Bella or the baby."

"I did no such thing," I murmured, shaking my head. "I haven't left your sight. When, exactly, would I have contacted him?"

"Rosalie," Bella whispered her plea. "Stop, please."

"Rosie, babe...he's Bella's friend," Emmett reasoned wrapping an arm around her quivering shoulders. "I'm sure he just came to visit."

_Someone's home, _Jacob thought. _And they know I'm here._

"He won't take no for an answer," Bella sighed. "Keeping him out will only make it worse." She winced, wrapping her arms over her stomach as she rocked forward. The stress was too much for her and I could imagine it was only going to get worse with Jacob here. The tension in the room was palpable and would only escalate once the door was opened. I moaned softly, leaning on Bella's legs, wishing there were something I could do and hating myself even more for hoping that Jacob would appear.

Carlisle walked to the door. Jasper stood close by, concerned that this may be a trick – a diversion by the pack. His loyalties were torn – to stay by Carlisle to act in case of a frontal attack, or to stand by Alice in case Jacob's appearance was truly a distraction from a larger attack at the rear of the house. Carlisle took one last glance at Bella before taking a deep breath and opening the door just wide enough for himself.

"Hello, Jacob," he said. "How are you?"

_Carlisle...wish it was Edward. _"I heard Bella made it back alive," he quipped, attempting to peer around Carlisle to see inside the house.

"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time," Carlisle replied uneasily. "Could we do this later?" There was silence for several beats as Carlisle stood awkwardly in the door, silently praying for Jacob to leave.

Bella breathed a heavy sigh. "Why not? Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?"

_Is that? Is she?_ Jacob's heart began to pound.

"Come in, please, Jacob."

_Is it a trick? _"Excuse me,"Jacob said. Carlisle hesitated before stepping aside. My attention was split – worrying about Bella and the stress this was causing and listening to the war within Jacob's mind, the battle between instinct and emotion. Without taking my eyes from Bella, I watched the room through Jacob's eyes, seeing the worried faces of my family.

_Oh my God…what's wrong with Edward?_ I saw myself through Jacob's eyes, saw the toll that the past week had taken on me. I had visibly aged, worry and torment stealing whatever life I had. I looked every bit as dead as I was – a walking corpse, a zombie. His eyes flitted from me to Bella, to his reason for coming, to my reason for existing.

_Is she...she's still human?_ He seemed genuinely shocked that Bella had returned from the honeymoon with her humanity intact. She did not, however, return unscathed. _Something's not right._ His vision gradually cleared, recovering from his astonishment, to see her as she truly was. _She's sick…very sick. Charlie was telling the truth._

Bella's stomach churned and she took in a shuddering breath. Rosalie reacted instantly, still acutely aware of Jacob's presence. The sounds of Bella heaving echoed in the room, and I fell to my knees, unable to bear the sights and sounds of her sickness, my eyes pleading for Bella to give up this insanity.

Back_ off, Edward,_ Rosalie thought.

_What is going on? Bella doesn't even like Rosalie._

"Sorry about that," Bella apologized. I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips. She was suffering – dying – and she was apologizing for it. What could I do to make her see reason? I buried my face in the blanket against Bella's legs, stifling the whimpers that I couldn't contain. I felt Bella's soft hand stroke my cheek and I had to choke back the sob that built in my chest. I didn't deserve her touch, didn't deserve her comfort. I didn't deserve her.

_Watch it, dog! _Rosalie hissed a warning as Jacob neared.

"Rose, don't," Bella whispered. "It's fine."

_She may trust you, but I don't. Filthy mongrel._ Rosalie gradually circled behind Bella, but kept her eyes on Jacob. I could feel the heat radiating off of Jacob's skin as he knelt beside Bella, but it was nothing compared to the fire that consumed me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he whispered as he reached for her hand. _So cold._ "Are you all right?"

"I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob," she said. It sounded like a goodbye, like something someone would say from their death bed. I groaned quietly at the hidden meaning in her words.

"What is it, Bella?" he pressed.

_Is she going to tell him?_

_ This is a bad idea. We don't know how the pack will react to the news._

_ What if he tells Charlie?_

Bella's heart thudded an offbeat rhythm as she hesitated to answer him. "Help me up, Rose?"

_Not for him._

"Please, Rose."

I could feel Rosalie beside me, but didn't move, couldn't move. I was crippled by my own hopelessness.

"No. Don't get up…" Jacob whispered. _So frail…so weak._

"I'm answering your question," Bella snapped.

The fabric rustled and Bella exhaled as Rosalie helped her to stand upright. The blanket fell beside me on the floor and I immediately felt the loss of connection with Bella's skin.

I saw her distorted body through Jacob's eyes. He saw what I saw – something sick, something wrong. I groaned at the images in his mind. It took several moments for Jacob to truly realize what he was looking at. _Wait…I saw her a month ago. There is no way she could be pregnant…not that pregnant._ A storm of images swirled in his mind, his imagination run amok, the thought of relations between Bella and myself making him physically ill.

He knew after just seconds what I had tried so desperately to convince Bella of, to convince my family of – that the seed that had taken root in her body was destroying her to sustain itself – a monster.

_I always knew he would kill her. _

My body reacted instantly to his words. I stood to my feet, staring into the eyes of the boy who had tried so many times to steal her heart. My temper flared at his thoughts, at his arrogance. He knew nothing of love. I would rather die a thousand deaths than see any harm come to Bella.

"Outside, Jacob," I growled.

He stood to his feet, heat rippling off his skin in waves. "Let's do this."

Emmett and Jasper came to stand at either side of me, but their presence didn't seem to deter Jacob in the least. He was so keen to see me suffer, so ready to punish me for what I had done to Bella, that he didn't care what happened to himself.

"No," Bella gasped, faltering as she reached for me. Her thin fingers gripped my forearm.

I turned my head to the side and saw the fear in her eyes. "I just need to talk to him, Bella," I assured her. Her gaze flitted between the two of us. I could see in her eyes that the stress of the moment was taking its toll. I reached up, gently stroking her cheek. "Don't strain yourself," I whispered. "Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes."

Her eyes bore into mine, searching for any deception. Even in her fragile state, she was still trying to protect him. After a moment, she sighed and nodded before Rosalie helped her to sit back down. Even in her weakened state, she stared at both of us. "Behave," she threatened. "And then come back."

I nodded and began walking toward the door, every step a struggle. My pain increased with every step I took, the separation from Bella nearly unbearable.

_No promises, _Jacob thought as he spun on his heel and followed me outside. His thoughts were disjointed as he followed me away from the house, away from the prying ears of my family. I had to be sure we gained enough distance to ensure that the conversation remained between me and Jacob. They mustn't know what I would ask, how I would plead for him to help me save Bella's life.

Jacob's thoughts were gloating – proud that he had separated me from my family. His thoughts fluctuated, but all centered on the idea of killing me. Not that I blamed him.

"I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black," I whispered. "You'll have to have a little patience."

"Patience isn't my specialty," he growled.

We walked until I could no longer hear the sounds from within the house, until I was sure that we were out of hearing range, and I turned to face him. This was it – this was my last chance, my last hope. I stared at the boy who was Bella's friend, who had tried so many times to steal her away, who would have been her mate had our paths not crossed. He had kept her alive on a frozen mountaintop when I could not and now I was forced, once again, to ask for his help. But would it be too late?

**A/N: You guys just continue to rock my socks off – I really appreciate all the support. And thanks to Summit for releasing the trailer – can we say EPIC? It definitely gave me some much needed fuel to get through these difficult chapters.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for once again talking me out of my fixation with the minute and sometimes inconsequential details – sometimes I can't help it. The devil's in the details, right?**


	16. Chapter 16: Bargaining

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 16

Bargaining

I didn't know where to begin. I raked my hand nervously across my face. My mouth opened, but the words wouldn't come – lodged in my throat like insects trapped on flypaper. How do you plead to someone who has been, for all intents and purposes, your enemy? How could I ask him to save the life of the woman I love? And if he agreed, what would he expect in return?

He started at me expectantly; his urge for violence and the heat of transformation had cooled, giving way to true concern. He saw my weakness, saw me as an easy kill, but his lust for destruction waned with my own sanity. What satisfaction is there in destroying your enemy when they lie prostrate before you?

"It's killing her, right?" he asked. "She's dying." _...too fast...already lost her so many times...this is not my fault._

Jacobs's unspoken words were crippling. "My fault," I whispered. The weight of the admission forced me to the ground, the guilt crushing me, sinking me down into the rain–soaked earth. Jacob's presence only served to amplify my grief, reminding me that she would have been better off if she had chosen him instead. "Yes," I croaked. "Yes, it's killing her."

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything? He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her." He said it like it was the simplest solution. His tone was one of disgust and irritation, unable to imagine why we hadn't thought of doing just that.

"She won't let us," I sighed.

He stared at me, mulling over the words. _Of course, die for the monster spawn. That's so Bella. _

"You know her so well," I murmured. It was something I had tried to ignore, but couldn't deny. He knew Bella so much better than I. Perhaps it was my dependency on my gift and her immunity to it that caused me to misunderstand her so often. I should have realized by now that she is not a typical human – that she doesn't follow the same patterns I've come to expect. With her, everything is unexpected.

"How quickly you see...I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened – that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again, I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was _resolving._ Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet _you_ understand after one second..."

He held up his hands, shaking his head back and forth. "Just back up a second. She won't _let_ you." _Are you kidding me? _"Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred–and–ten–pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

"I wanted to," I sighed. "Carlisle would have..."

_What, too noble?_

"No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things."

_Wait, what...oh...so that's what Blondie's up to. But why? Does she want Bella to die so bad?_

"Maybe," I answered his unspoken question. "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way."

Jacob shrugged, rolling his eyes. "So take out the blonde one first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella." The gruesome images from Jacob's mind filtered into mine. I couldn't deny the satisfaction I would feel at seeing Rosalie in such a state. Although, with the level of anger I felt toward her, I may not stop until she was irreparable. But it would never work...not with the rest of them...

I shook my head sadly. "Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us...and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it..."

_I knew something like this would happen. _"You should have left Bella with me."

"Yes," I whispered as he voiced my own thoughts.

_Too little, too late...should have thought of this before he knocked her up with a life-sucking monster._

He wasn't wrong. In hindsight, if I had known before all that know now, I may still be cowering on the dingy floor of a South American attic space. Ironic that, in both instances, it was Rosalie who struck the match, ignited the fire that spurned us forward. If I had never received that phone call, if Alice had never had her vision, Bella would have continued her life with Jacob, free of the damage my existence was destined to cause her.

"We didn't know." How foolish I had been. My own naïveté and arrogance were taking away my one reason for existing. I breathed a heavy sigh, feeling weak, as though my own body was dying along with hers. "I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us –"

"When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?" he finished.

"Yes." I closed my eyes, feeling every bit of the monster that Jacob saw me as. "They're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one _survives."_

_Do you call what she's doing in there surviving? _"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are," he sneered.

"Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself."

The heat began rising again on the surface of his skin, his molecules vibrating and shifting, preparing for the emergence of the wolf. His fists clenched and unclenched and his nostrils flared. _Wrong, _he thought.

"Killing me now doesn't save her," I reminded him.

"So what does?"

Would he listen to me? Would he even give credence to the notion that, at this point, he was my last hope of saving her? "Jacob, you have to do something for me."

"The _hell _I do, parasite!"

"For her?" I pleaded.

"I did everything I could to keep her away from you," he spat. "Every single thing. It's too late." _And you fought me every step of the way._

"You know her, Jacob. You connect to her on a level that I don't even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this..." I choked on the words, knowing full well that her body would give out before she could safely deliver whatever it was she carried. "She might listen to you."

_She never has... _"Why would she?"

Would he really deny me this? Was his hatred of me so strong that he would rather leave her to her fate rather than help me? I stood to my feet; my eyes level with his, pleading, begging that he help me.

_Has he gone crazy? Can vampires lose their minds?_

"Maybe," I snorted. "I don't know. It feels like it."

I shook my head and raked my fingers through my hair, the metal of my wedding band scraping against my scalp. The despair I kept hidden, the intensity of my concern was bubbling over after being held in for so long. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "I have to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill," I explained. "She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

He stared at me as though he truly believed I had lost my mind. "I can't tell her anything you haven't," he argued, tossing his hands in the air in frustration. "What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too."

Nothing mattered anymore – not unless she could be saved. We were in the eleventh hour and the time for restraint and debate had passed. If we were going to do something – _anything_ – it had to be now. "You can offer her what she wants," I blurted out.

_He's not making any sense...crazy..._

He didn't understand. He didn't see. "I don't care about anything but keeping her alive. If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies, if that's what it takes."

I took in a steadying breath while I watched the look in Jacob's eyes shift from confusion to shock as the meaning of my words settled in his mind.

"But not this way!" I continued before he could reply, before he could deny my plea. "Not this _thing_ that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it _hurting_ her." The memory of the bruises, of her wincing and crying out in pain, surged through me, taking my breath away.

"You _have_ to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity – encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting _it._ Bella's life means nothing to her."

He stood motionless as he attempted to absorb my words. Admittedly, it was a lot to swallow and I was more than likely overwhelming him, but this was the first time in a week that I had had an opportunity to plead my case to someone who may actually understand the dangers, who may take my side in the matter.

_Wait...what? He's saying...Bella should have a baby with me? How? Is he giving her up? Or he thinks she wouldn't mind being shared?_

"Whichever." I nodded. "Whatever keeps her alive."

He shook his head. "That's the craziest thing you've said yet."

"She loves you."

"Not enough."

"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme." I could see the skepticism in his eyes and knew that my last hope was slipping through my fingers. I would have fallen to my knees and begged if I thought it would help my case.

"Don't you know her at all?" he scoffed.

"I know, I know. It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense."

He turned his back to me and began pacing, fisting his hands in his hair. He didn't want to listen to me, didn't want to believe my offer. He couldn't understand how it had come to this – that I would so easily give her up, or _share,_ as he put it. _Wrong,_ he thought. _Sick. _But as much as I knew the idea would seem improbable to him, I also knew that he was still very much in love with her. Even now, even after she had made her decision and married me, the embers of his feelings for her still glowed, burning brighter with the thought of another chance.

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on my breaths, tried to ignore the images that now swirled in Jacob's mind, but try as I might, I couldn't block them out. I clenched my fists and grit my teeth, holding back my anger as his fantasies played out. When I opened my eyes, I could see the grimace of pain on his face – he too was trying to block out these thoughts, afraid to let himself hope, unwilling to allow his heart to be broken once again.

He spun on his heel to face me. "Make _Bella _see sense? What universe do you live in?"

"At least try," I begged. He was my last hope – my only hope.

He shook his head again. "Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?" His tone was biting.

"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition...it changes so fast. The thing is...growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

I glanced back at the house, the ache in my chest pulsing with the need to go back to her. I had already been away from her side for too long and I was out of range. Anything could happen and I would be completely unaware. I turned back to Jacob, firmly planting my feet that were anxious to return to the house.

"What _is_ it?" he asked.

"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already."

I clamped my hands over my eyes, but it was ineffective at blocking out the grotesque images that assaulted me. Jacob's imagination was nearly as vivid as my own as he pictured the monster's destructive path in its escape from the womb. Bella was merely a vessel, collateral damage, the creature feeling no attachment to the body that gave it life and sustained it. Blood, broken bones, torn flesh, Bella's lifeless form. I clutched a hand to my mouth as I fought the urge to scream.

Jacob stared at me, shaken by the images in his mind, by what could happen to Bella if we didn't stop it. "Help me stop it," I beseeched. "Help me stop this from happening."

"_How?_" he growled through clenched teeth. "By offering my stud services?" He scowled when he said the words. "You're really sick. She'll never listen to this."

"Try," I whispered. "There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?"

_It would hurt me_, he thought.

"A little pain to save her?" I reasoned. "Is it such a high cost?"

"But it won't work."

"Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need."

His eyes narrowed. "And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? 'Just kidding, Bella'?"

"If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't rescind."

He shook his head with disbelief and continued to pace. _Why am I even thinking about this? Bella would punch me...again. I shouldn't let him put this in my head...should just kill him now._

"Not now," I whispered, answering the unspoken threat. "Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me."

He scoffed. "You won't have to beg long."

"I'm very much counting in that."

He stared at me for several beats, trying to decide whether or not I was telling the truth. The chance to save Bella was something he didn't want to pass by, but the thought that I would willingly offer myself as a martyr to her death was not an opportunity to be squandered. With a shake of his head and a heavy sigh, he turned back to me. "Then we have a deal."

I nodded, holding out my hand to him, wanting to seal our agreement like gentlemen – with a firm handshake.

_Ugh_, he thought before he tentatively reached out and took my hand. "We have a deal," he agreed.

He shuddered after he released my hand, wiping it unceremoniously on his jeans. _I can't believe I'm doing this, _he thought as he began trudging back to the house. I walked several paces behind, listening to his inner turmoil and wondering all the while if it had been a mistake to ask for his help. _No,_ I shook my head. We had reached the point of desperation and I was willing to do nearly anything to save her.

_I won't do it,_ he thought. _It's twisted and wrong. I'll talk to her, but...I just can't ask her that...not like she'll listen anyways. _He hesitated just outside the door, his shoulders hunched under the weight of the task I had presented to him, his mind still warring with itself, trying to decide what he would say, how far he would go.

The door slowly creaked open and all eyes turned to us. Perplexed gazes met the both of us as we stood on the threshold.

_Well, they're both still in one piece._

_ I know they're up to something...I don't trust him._

_ Thank goodness they came back unharmed._

_ How can I talk to her with all of them looking at me like that? They're going to think I'm crazier than he is._

I ignored the thoughts of my family and brushed past Jacob as he continued to hover just outside the door. Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she scanned my face, wary of what plans I may have concocted in my short absence. Bella eyed me warily, her face ashen and etched with concern. Her gaze flickered to Jacob and back to me.

"Were going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," I said.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed.

_That could be arranged,_ Jacob thought.

I ignored her, instead maintaining eye contact with Bella. "Bella, Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

Her gaze shifted to Jacob before turning to Rosalie. "Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward." It didn't go unnoticed that she was speaking in the plural.

"It might be a trick," Rosalie whispered urgently. _I don't trust them. They're up to something._

Bella shrugged. "I don't see how."

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie. We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No," Bella whispered, turning to me and reaching for my hand. "No, Edward. I'm not..."

"I didn't mean it that way, Bella," I interrupted, seeing how my words had upset her. I managed a small smile and lightly squeezed her fingers. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

Not waiting for opportunity to pass, I broke her gaze and glanced around the room. "Everyone." I motioned toward the door with my free hand. "Please." They stared at me for a fraction of a second, hesitating to leave Bella with a wolf, even if that wolf was Jacob. The corners of my eyes pinched and my lip twitched as I fought to maintain my composure. This was my last chance, my last hope. Bella may not listen, but we still had to try.

Alice's eyes met mine and I could see her frustration. She wasn't used to being kept in the dark. For the first time, I was glad that Jacob's presence rendered her ability useless. With a shake if her head, she was the first to go, followed by Jasper. In the span of two heartbeats, they were all gone, save for Rosalie and myself. Rosalie hesitated, fearful of leaving Bella's side, of what might happen to the baby if she did.

"Rose," Bella whispered. "I want you to go."

_This has better not be a trick, _she thought as her gaze pierced through me. _After you. _She pointed toward the door. I gave Jacob one last pleading look before stepping out of the house. I walked several paces into the drive before Rosalie appeared, hesitating on the steps.

She huffed, tossing her hair over her shoulder before she began walking toward me. _Let's get this over with. The sooner we go, the sooner the mutt will say his peace and leave. _She pointed a manicured finger in the direction that our family had taken. Together we ran several hundred yards, far enough that our sensitive hearing wouldn't impinge on the privacy of the conversation taking place back at the house.

Everyone was waiting in a small clearing. Jasper and Alice sat side by side on a high tree branch while Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett stood below. Carlisle glanced nervously between Rosalie and me. _Are you okay?_ he thought.

I nodded infinitesimally before lowering myself onto a fallen tree. The rotting wood groaned under my weight, tiny splinters breaking off, littering the ground below. Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried to block out the thoughts around me, the curiosity and concern that swirled in their minds. Rosalie was suspicious, of course. It was a wonder we were able to get her out of the house at all. I almost wished I had had the foresight to give Jacob the means to sedate Bella and transfer her to a safe location out of Rosalie's grasp.

But looking at the faces of my family, looking at how fractured we had already become, I knew that such an action would have destroyed the bond that remained. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms and rested my elbows on my knees. I felt as though I was trapped in a nightmare with no means of escape, no power to awaken or to shift my course. How had everything gone so wrong? Was this retribution – punishment for all my past wrongdoings?

I felt a small hand glide along my back, the slender arm attached to it wrapping around my shoulders. _I'm so sorry, Edward. I'll never forgive myself for not seeing, for being unable to warn you._ I choked back a sob as Alice rubbed small circles on my back. She laid her head against my shoulder, doing her best to soothe the ache in my heart. I only heard one set of feet touch back down to earth, but I could feel Jasper reaching out to me in his own way from his perch above.

"So how long do we have to wait?" Rosalie complained.

_As long as it takes,_ I thought to myself. Instead of voicing my hope, I chose to shrug my shoulders.

She bristled, her thoughts accusing and distrustful.

"Jacob is her friend and I'm sure he just wants to talk to her," Carlisle offered. _Right, Edward? _ "It's likely that our presence makes him uncomfortable."

I shuddered, imagining what was going on back at the house in this moment, how Jacob would try to convince Bella to listen to reason. I had little hope that he would be successful, but I had to try. I groaned, burying my face in my hands with the sensation that my last hope of saving her was likely slipping away as I sat here.

"So melodramatic," Rosalie mumbled under her breath.

"Oh, give it a rest, Rose," Alice hissed.

"Me give it a rest? What about him! He's the one who can't see that what's happening here is a miracle. He's the one who's not happy about becoming a father."

My jaw clenched as anger coursed through me. "Can't you see that it's killing her?" I growled. "Or I guess that part of the equation doesn't matter to you."

"Of course it does," she countered. "She can do this. You just need to have a little faith. Oh wait, never mind, I forgot that trust was never really your strong suit." Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she arched an eyebrow. Was she looking for a fight? She wouldn't have to push me very far.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I seethed.

"It means that you've never really trusted her. You've always decided things without asking her what _she_ wants. Well, guess what, she wants this baby and this is one decision you're _not_ taking away from her."

"Rosalie," I growled, my muscles tensing, ready to spring. "Don't say another word."

"Or what?"

I jumped to my feet, but Emmett and Alice were faster. Alice's small arms wrapped around my waist and Emmett stood in front of Rosalie, his arms spread wide to shield her from me.

"That's enough," Carlisle bellowed. "From both of you." _Edward, please._

_ Aww, did I strike a chord? Guess I'm right then..._

My vision blurred in a haze of red as I pulled away from Alice's grip and barreled forward toward my sister. I had already lost my sanity. Now I had lost my temper. I was a hairsbreadth away from reaching Rosalie when Emmett's large hand made contact with my chest, knocking me backward into a nearby tree.

"Come on, bro. It's not worth it," he said, holding his palms up in a defensive posture. _I don't want to hurt you._

"Rosalie, whatever it is you're doing, stop it this instant," Esme fumed.

"Fighting amongst ourselves isn't going to solve anything," Carlisle reasoned as he stepped between us. "We should be taking this time to figure out how we can all move on from this." _All of us, Edward. _

"I know you're frightened for Bella, Edward, but fighting with Rosalie isn't the answer. You should be focusing your energy on developing a birth plan that involves saving both the mother and the child."

"Carlisle," I moaned. "I...can't..."

"And Rosalie, you need to stop egging him on. How would you feel if something was wrong with Emmett and no one would let you do anything to help him? Please, try to place yourself in his shoes and be a little more sympathetic."

_Fine. Whatever. _Rosalie crossed her arms and leaned against a tree, her gaze shifting back in the direction of the house. I could see in her thoughts that she was anxious to get back to Bella.

I returned to my place on the fallen log, once again feeling utterly helpless. Alice resumed her post at my right and Carlisle came to sit on my other side.

"Edward, we really should begin making plans for the birth. We are dealing with some unknown variables, so we may need to have several contingencies in place to accommodate any problems that may arise."

"Carlisle, please," I whispered, "not now."

_You can't put it off much longer. With the accelerated growth, I'd wager that she'll be ready to deliver in a little over a week's time. _"Soon," he said.

_A week?_ Was that all the time I had left? After all the promises of eternity, all the dreams of forever, my time with Bella had been cut down to seven days. A thousand lifetimes would not be enough for me to spend with her, how could I possibly survive when given so little?

I resumed my posture, my head buried in my hands, my heart fracturing further. I could almost feel the icy splinters breaking off and scattering within my chest. Alice's small hand rubbed circles on my back, but it did little to comfort me. Although her thoughts were concerned for my current state, there was a strange peace about her that hadn't existed since we returned home.

I looked into her mind. There were still large empty spaces in her vision, but what was there was clearer, more focused. I looked up to see her knowing smile. "It's Jacob," she offered. "Things are…quieter when he's around."

I nodded, understanding that this small reprieve was due to the wolves. I still didn't understand entirely why her visions of Bella were so unclear, but was thankful that her discomfort could be eased, even for a brief segment of time.

Almost as though fate had heard my thoughts, as if everyone around me was fated to suffer as I was, Alice's face twisted into a grimace as the haziness in her mind made its resurgence. _He's gone,_ she thought.

Without thinking, I jumped up from my place on the fallen log and began running toward the house. With so little time left, I couldn't bear to waste any more precious seconds away from her.

_Where's he going?_

_ What's going on?_

_ Oh no, not on my watch!_

I could hear the footfalls of my family as they followed behind me. I had always been the fastest, but today Rosalie was right on my heels. The house stood silent, save for the unsteady beat of the heart inside. I did my best to calm myself, to restore some measure of composure before I opened the door. And then I fell apart.

The door swung open, but Bella wasn't sitting on the couch as I expected her to be. I stepped into the center of the room, allowing the sound of her heart to lead me to her. I turned a corner and that's when I found her – sprawled on the floor, whimpering softly, clutching her abdomen.

"Bella," I gasped, running to her side. "Bella, what happened? Are you alright?"

"What happened?" Rosalie echoed. "If that dog did anything, I swear…"

"No," Bella wheezed, holding up a trembling hand as she tried to right herself. "All we did was talk. He left a few minutes ago." She cringed, squeezing her eyes tight as a wave of nausea overwhelmed her, her body convulsing in dry heaves as there was nothing left in her stomach to expel.

"Bella," I pleaded. "Bella?"

Her body shuddered as her head rolled to the side. I reached out in time to catch her head before it hit the floor. I pulled her up in my arms. "Carlisle," I yelled as I carried her back to the center of the living room. "Carlisle!"

"What happened?" he asked, appearing at my side. Rosalie hovered close by, watching vigilantly. "Did you find her like this?"

I shook my head. "She was on the floor. She must have been trying to go to the restroom and she fell. She was clearly in pain, dry heaving, and then she lost consciousness. Carlisle, please do something."

"She just needs rest," Rosalie hissed, reaching for Bella.

I took a step back, pulling Bella's body tightly to me. I wasn't letting Rosalie stand in the way, not this time. "Rosalie, can't you see that she is very ill. It's killing her. We have to do something."

"You're not killing that baby," she seethed.

"We may not have a choice," I yelled back. I turned to Carlisle, my eyes pleading for guidance. "What can we do?"

"You're not doing anything," Rosalie insisted. "Bella made her choice. You're not doing anything without her consent."

Carlisle held up his hands in surrender. "Rosalie, I understand that you're trying to help, but right now you're hurting her. If you want her to survive – if you want this baby to survive, you need to allow me to treat her. If we don't, they may both die."

Rosalie shuddered, visibly shaken by the idea that all she had been working to save may slip away. She took a hesitant step back, allowing Carlisle to approach. He worked quickly, checking Bella's vital signs. He pursed his lips and the furrow, now permanently etched in his brow, grew even deeper. _She's dying,_ he thought.

"She needs nourishment," he said. "She'll starve to death if we don't do something soon."

"Do what?" Rosalie narrowed her eyes as she took a step forward.

"I think that our best course at this time is to offer some nutrition intravenously."

"Out of the question." She crossed her arms, shaking her head emphatically.

"Rosalie," Carlisle groaned, wiping his hand across his forehead. "If Bella isn't given some form of nourishment, not only will she be lacking in basic nutrients, but she will be dehydrated as well. She is already weak, but if this goes on much longer, her organs will begin to lose function. If her body can't sustain itself, how do you expect it to support the growing fetus?"

_It's a trick,_ she thought.

"Rosalie, it is not a trick," I growled. "She's _dying_! You are blind if you can't see that. If you don't let Carlisle do this, the baby will die. Bella will die. And I will never forgive you if that happens."

"You've been bent on getting rid of the baby from the moment you knew she was pregnant. What guarantee do I have that Carlisle won't give her something to induce a miscarriage?"

"The only guarantee I can give you right now is that she will die if you don't get out of the way!"

"We need to act quickly," Carlisle interjected. "I don't have what we need here, but I can get it."

"If you're so concerned, go with him," I offered.

"And leave her alone with you? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Then let Esme go with him. Do you trust her?"

The space between Rosalie's brows puckered and her nostrils flared as she looked between me and Carlisle. Finally, she threw up her arms in surrender. "Fine," she breathed. "Esme, go with him."

"We'll need to run," Carlisle said, reaching for Esme's hand. "Time is of the essence and it will be much faster than taking the roads."

He turned to me, his eyes filled with grief and worry. "Call me if there are any changes."

I nodded and watched as he and Esme disappeared. I lowered myself to the couch, Bella still cradled in my arms. I rocked her gently, pressing light kisses to her temple as I waited for her to awaken. I knew that Carlisle would do what he could. I could only pray that we hadn't waited too long to act.

**A/N: I know I sound like a broken record, but again, thank you all for your reviews, alerts, favorites, tweets, PM's, etc. I seriously couldn't do this without the support. If you're reading, but still lurking in the shadows, don't be afraid to speak up. I won't bite…promise.**

**And on another note...gold stars for those of you who picked up on the title reference in the last chapter.  
**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for helping me along through these tough chapters. It's difficult to write Edward in such a state without feeling a bit depressed myself. But we're getting closer...I can feel it!**


	17. Chapter 17: Waiting

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 17

Waiting

Silence and foreboding enveloped the house. We huddled together, statue still like the frozen relics we were. It was a stark contrast to the flurry of activity just a few moments ago.

After Carlisle and Esme left, we stood, locked in place by our animosity until Jasper unleashed his full power on the lot of us. I sat with Bella's unconscious form in my arms while Rosalie stood across the room, keeping a keen eye on me. She was wary, knowing just how desperate I had become. With the new sense of calm that was thrust upon me, I, for the first time, got a deeper look into my sister's mind than I had been capable of since our return from the island.

The thought in the forefront of her mind was the desire to protect the life growing inside my love. Her loyalty was to Bella and to the baby. This much I knew, but my rage at my sister for getting in my way, for hindering my attempts to save Bella, prevented me from digging past the topmost layer of her consciousness to see the deeper beliefs that drove her actions.

Bella was a part of this family. She became a part of our family long before she took upon herself my last name. And just as she was with the rest of us, Rosalie was fiercely protective and loyal to her. There was a new-found respect that Rosalie felt toward Bella - respect that she knew what she wanted and took it, that she cared so much for the life growing inside her that she was willing to risk her own life to protect it, and that she was determined enough to stand strong even when I begged her to reconsider.

Of course, Rosalie still battled the demons that followed her through this life - her struggle to accept what had been done to her all those years ago, by Royce and also by Carlisle. Although Carlisle acted out of compassion to save her while Royce beat her for his own amusement, she still felt she had been victimized by them both. And the one thing she wanted more than any other - to have a child of her own - was cruelly ripped away. To her, it would have been better to die at the hands of her fiancé than to struggle through the childless existence she was granted. She would never openly admit as much, but Jasper's influence had forced her to let down her guard, allowing me a look into her most private thoughts and hidden secrets.

On the surface, it appeared that all Rosalie wanted was to have the child for herself, regardless of the sacrifice it might cost Bella. It would be so much easier to hate her if that was the case. But as I looked deeper, her motivation was more complex than the mere drive to be a mother. It was the moral obligation she felt to protect Bella's decision to have the baby. Just as the choice had been taken away from Rosalie, she was adamant that she wouldn't allow the same thing to happen again. And because Bella had made the conscious decision to trust Rosalie to help her, knowing that she would sympathize with her plight, Rosalie couldn't refuse her.

While Rosalie and I sat locked in place, subdued by artificial calm, Alice was on the phone with Carlisle, relaying instructions to Emmett on what equipment would need to be set up and ready upon his return. If Carlisle's study was serving as a makeshift emergency room, then our living room was now being converted into a care facility. Per Alice's directions, Emmett hauled equipment both from Carlisle's study and from storage in the garage. The furniture had been pushed aside, making room for the hospital bed that now took up the center of the living room. Various monitors had been set up at the bedside and long extension cords ran the length of the room.

Seeing all that Carlisle required, all of the life saving equipment he intended for Bella, a cold shiver ran through me. I knew the purpose of each machine, of all the reasons why such equipment would be necessary, and the idea that it was all here for the woman sleeping in my arms sent a jolt of panic through my heart. I knew in my mind that she was ill, that she was gradually deteriorating, but the necessity for medical intervention made what seemed like a bad dream turn into a nightmarish reality.

All was quiet, save for the unsteady beat of a single heart. Once the task was complete, Alice sat at Jasper's side and Emmett by Rosalie. And we waited. _And__ waited_. I brushed a stray lock of hair from Bella's brow and leaned down, skimming my nose across the contour if her cheek. I pressed my lips to her balmy skin as I hugged her tightly to me. I could hear Rosalie's unease in her thoughts, but she was wise enough to keep her feelings at bay and her words to herself.

"When will they return?" I asked, glancing up at Alice.

"Soon," she whispered.

I blew out a steadying breath as I watched the space between Bella's brows pucker. She whimpered quietly, but remained unconscious. As thankful as I was that Jasper could sedate her, I wished his gift would extend to her pain as well. I gritted my teeth as I watched the skin of her belly distort with the fetus' movement. Bella whimpered again and I clamped my hand over my mouth as I uttered a strangled cry. My eyes burned with the tears I could not shed.

A pair of strong hands lay on my shoulders and the blanket of calm intensified tenfold. I wondered to myself if Jasper did this solely for my benefit, or for his own as well. I knew that my sorrow weighed heavily on him. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the looks of pity on the faces of my siblings. I didn't want their sympathy or their grief. All I wanted in this moment was to concentrate on the feeling of Bella's skin against mine, of her body cradled in my arms.

_Edward?_

I looked up instinctively, although I knew the voice in my mind didn't emanate from anyone in this room.

_Hey,__ Edward.__ If__ you __can __hear __me__ – __circle__ the__ wagons, __bloodsucker.__ You__'__ve__ got __a__ problem._

_ We've got a problem._

If Jacob was returning with news of a problem, that could only mean one thing. I stood abruptly. Rosalie was instantly on her feet, but looked puzzled as I gently lowered Bella onto the hospital bed.

"Rosalie, look after her, please. Emmett, Jasper – Jacob's on his way and he's not alone."

"What do you mean he's not alone?" Jasper hissed. _The __pack?_

"I don't think so. I don't know." I shook my head. "I only heard one other voice."

I went to the door, Jasper and Emmett both following closely behind me. A moment later, two wolves ran across the yard to stand at the foot of the steps.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?"

Both Jacob and Seth began relaying the events that had occurred since Jacob's departure from the house - Jacob's refusal to listen to Sam and subsequent split from the pack, the wolves' uncertainty over Bella's pregnancy and the possible dangers it may pose to the town and to the tribe, their plan to put a stop to it before the _abomination_ could be born.

Seeing the pack's fear, their blind intolerance, their disregard for Bella's life, drove away my sorrow and filled me with a sense of rage. I bounded down the steps, coming face to face with Jacob as I searched his eyes and his thoughts, praying he had left out some detail that would counter what I had heard. But there was none.

"They want to kill Bella?" I growled.

_Tonight._

_They__'__re __here __to __kill __Bella._

_ They're not getting anywhere near her!_

Jasper and Emmett appeared at my side, crouched defensively, teeth bared.

_Hey__ now,_ Seth thought.

I tore my eyes from Jacob long enough to glance at my brothers who had misunderstood my words. "Em, Jazz – not _them_! The others. The pack is coming."

Their stances relaxed marginally. "What's _their_ problem?" Emmett demanded.

"The same one as mine, but they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now." Although the pack and I shared the same fear of the thing growing inside Bella, our methods of handling it varied greatly. If they were on their way with the intention of killing Bella, we needed to muster as much force as possible to fight them off.

_They're__ separated, _Jacob thought, echoing my sentiments.

"They aren't far," I assured him. Emmett had already pulled out his phone and was speaking to Carlisle, relaying what he could.

_I'm __going __to __take __a __look,_ Seth thought. _Run __the __western __perimeter._

"Will you be in danger, Seth?"

Jacob and Seth exchanged glances. _Don't __think__ so,_ they replied in unison.

_But__ maybe__ I __should __go __just __in __case, _Jacob added. I could see in his thoughts that he had not intended to be a pack leader and Seth's presence added a factor of responsibility he had not been prepared to bear.

_They'll __be__ less __likely __to __challenge __me, _Seth argued. _I'm__ just __a __kid__ to __them._

_ You're just a kid to me, kid._

_ I'm __outta__ here.__You__ need __to __coordinate__ with __the __Cullens._ With a swish of his tail, Seth bounded for the tree line before Jacob could protest. I watched him go before turning back to Jacob.

"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob. I would never have asked for this from you."

His mind went back to our conversation earlier in the day. It felt like a lifetime ago. _Yeah, __you __would._

After all I had already said to him, all I had asked of him, would I have asked him to leave his pack in order to help us? To save Bella? "I suppose you're right about that." I nodded. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her.

_Well,__ this __isn't __the __first __time__ that __I__ didn't __do __it __for __you._

"Right."

He shook his head slowly. _Sorry __I__ didn't __do __any __good__ today. __Told__ you __she __wouldn't __listen__ to __me._

"I know," I sighed. "I never really believed she would. But..."

_You __had__ to __try. __I __get __it. __She__ any __better?_

Not that I could forget, but the reminder of Bella's dire health sucked the breath from my lungs. "Worse," I managed. I could feel that imaginary line that tethered me to Bella tugging at my heart, pulling me back. It took everything I had to fight it. As much as I needed to be by her side, to cherish the seconds that were rapidly ticking away, my place was here.

"Jacob," Alice called over my shoulder. "Would you mind switching forms? I want to know what's going on."

_Can't,_he shook his head.

"He needs to stay linked to Seth," I explained.

She placed a hand on her hip. "Well, then would _you_ be so kind as to tell me what's happening?"

"The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the...from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

Alice hissed at the news, once again cursing the wolves' ability to negate her gift. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a worried glance at the full explanation.

_ Esme and Carlisle need to hurry. We're going to need everyone if we have to fight them off._

_ We need to establish a perimeter, determine the likely direction they would choose to attack from._

_ Nobody __out __here, _Seth called. _All's __quiet __on__ the __western__ front._

_ They __may __go __around,_Jacob warned.

_I'll__ make __a __loop._Seth darted back toward the trees.

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way," Emmett offered as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. "Twenty minutes tops."

"We should take up a defensive position," Jasper suggested. _Fortify __the__ house.__Put __Bella__ somewhere__ safe. __Draw__ up __contingency__ plans._

I nodded. "Let's get inside."

_I'll __run the __perimeter __with __Seth. __If __I __get __too__ far __for __you__ to __hear __my __head,__ listen __for __my__ howl._

"I will."

Jasper and Alice exchanged a concerned glance before turning to go back into the house. Jasper's mind was spinning with strategies and recollections of the wolves' abilities we were witness to during our last battle. _Last__ battle._I shook my head at the absurdity if it all. It was as though the world was conspiring against us. Our relationship, although filled with the type of love one could only hope of one day finding, it was also fraught with peril. Why did fate deem it necessary for us to struggle so? Perhaps the true test of love was its ability to survive hardship. A love like ours was certainly something worth fighting for.

Jasper and Emmett were already making preparations, lowering the protective shutters at the rear of the house to prevent the wolves from crashing through the windows. Alice wrung her hands nervously as she paced the length of the room. Rosalie sat at Bella's side, whispering soothing words as Bella continued to whimper. I wondered to myself how long Jasper could focus on keeping her calm while his attentions were elsewhere.

I knelt beside the bed, taking Bella's frail hand in mine and placing it on my cheek. I closed my eyes, heartbroken to think that our dwindling time together could be further cut short by the interference of the pack. Her eyes pinched tightly and she curled in on herself as another wave of pain shook her body. I wish there were something I could do, but I could only hope that Carlisle could ease her suffering.

A loud howl echoed through the forest.

_The __pack's __coming.__We__ need __to __be __ready._

_ Was that a warning? Are they coming?_

_ Have to keep them away from Bella and the baby. That's what they're after._

Rosalie stood, ready to snatch up Bella and carry her to safety. Emmett and Jasper appeared in the room, prepared to fight. A second later the door flew open and Emmett would have gone barreling toward the door if Jasper hadn't held out a hand to stop him. Carlisle and Esme appeared in the doorway, each carrying two overfull duffel bags. Carlisle glanced nervously between us before immediately setting to work.

_Seth __stopped __us __on __our __way __back __and __explained__ the__ situation. __I__ pray__ it __doesn't __come__ to __that,_Carlisle thought. _If __the __pack__ does __come, __we __will __have __to __focus __our __efforts __on __defending __the__ house._ _Bella __is __far __too__ weak __to __move._

I tried to shut out Carlisle's thoughts as his medical training took over. I crossed the room, unable to bring myself to watch. The faint aroma of blood mixed with the sterile scent if alcohol carried itself to my nose as Carlisle inserted the potentially lifesaving intravenous lines. I stared out the window, watching for any signs of the pack. I listened intently, stretching the limits of my ability in search of Jacob. After a few seconds had passed, I heard him. _False __alarm,__ false__ alarm.__ Sorry. __Seth__ is __young. __He __forgets __things. __No__ one's __attacking. __False __alarm._

A moment later, he sprinted through the trees toward the house. _There's__ nothing __out __there __- __you __got__ that? _he asked.

I nodded in response and watched as Jacob recounted his thoughts on the status of our situation. The sound of flicking switches echoed through the room followed by the resonance of a steady drip. The noises converged in a symphony of pain. I hazarded a glance back and the sight nearly brought me to my knees. To see all of the equipment in the room was one thing. To see it attached to Bella, unnatural tubes stuck in her skin, monitors strapped to her body, was another experience entirely. Words could not describe the helplessness I felt in that moment. A shiver ran through me as in hastily looked away.

I could feel Jacob's eyes on me. See him searching for a glimpse of Bella. I waved him on and stood aside.

"It was a false alarm," I murmured.

_Oh,__ thank __heavens._

_ But what about the signal? I thought..._

"Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal," I explained. "He's very young."

"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort," Emmett growled.

"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett," Carlisle reproved. "At great personal sacrifice." Carlisle moved across the room, carrying several vials of Bella's blood in his clenched fist.

"Yeah, I know," Emmett grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm just jealous. I wish I was out there."

_You__ may __get __your __chance s__oon__ enough, _Jasper thought.

"Seth doesn't think Sam will attack now," I offered, relaying what I had gleaned from Jacob's thoughts. "Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked.

"He's not as optimistic."

Mustering the strength I had left, I returned to Bella's bedside. Her face was ashen, her mouth set in a near permanent grimace of discomfort. I gently took her hand in mine; taking great care to avoid disturbing the tubes that were now attempting to supply her body with the nourishment it craved. My eyes closed in silent prayer, knowing that this may be our last hope of sustaining her until the birth.

_The __birth._ I didn't even wish to contemplate the damage the spawn inside her would cause when the time came for it to emerge. Carlisle was right. We needed a plan. For now we only had to wait to see if her body would survive long enough to necessitate a birth plan.

Carlisle busied himself by reading the monitors, keeping watch for signs of distress or any indication that his intervention was helping. He approached the bedside, reaching for Bella's wrist.

"Don't touch her!" Rosalie hissed quietly. "You'll wake her up."

Carlisle breathed a heavy sigh. "Rosalie." _I__ was __merely __checking,__ as __a__ doctor__ tending__ to __a__ patient._

She shook her head. "Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing." _I'm __watching __you...both __of__ you._

Carlisle shook his head sadly as he turned to me. _I __need__ to __run __a __battery __of __blood __tests__ – __CBC,__ LFT, __U__&__E__… _His mind was still running through a litany of tests he intended to run on the blood he had extracted as he ran up the stairs to his study. I tried my best to block him out, unsure if I wanted to know the results of his findings. I knew in my heart that they would only confirm my worst fears. What was the point of seeking proof for what we already knew to be true?

I thought, perhaps, that this was his method of coping, of doing what he could to help. It must be a relief to have such an endeavor to distract oneself from the overt possibility of death coming to visit. There would be nothing on this earth that could divert my attention from her.

Time seemed to stand still. The unsteady rhythm of Bella's heart that had marked the passage of time was now replaced by the steady drip of fluids in her IV. Like the swinging arm of a metronome, the drops of lifesaving fluid resounded through the room, ticking away the seconds of her life that remained.

We sat in awkward silence, the air thick with discomfort, and accentuated by the quiet whimpers emanating from the bed at the center of the room. I shuddered with every utterance from her lips, feeling my strength gradually vanish along with her. With the exception of Bella, the only other movement was the anxious pacing of the wolf outside our window.

Bella's body convulsed, spasms pulsing outward from her pregnant belly. Rosalie's movements matched my own as we stood, watching the shuddering form on the bed for signs of acute distress. Her breathing was labored and I listened intently for any indication that the creature had punctured one of her lungs.

_Baby__'__s __kicking, __that__'__s__ all_, Rosalie thought as she tucked a wayward strand of hair behind Bella's ear. I grit my teeth and the metal bedrail groaned under the pressure of my grip. _Don__'__t__ even__…_

No matter Rosalie's intentions, she had so far removed herself that she didn't even acknowledge the implications of Bella's pain. How could she be so cold? My hands trembled as I struggled with the urge to try once again to steal Bella away, despite my family's protests.

But before I could move a centimeter closer to my wife or my sister, Emmett was standing beside Rosalie, his hands up and his expression pleading, like a negotiator in a hostage situation. "Not tonight, Edward," he implored. "We've got other things to worry about." _Please._

My shoulders slumped. I could feel the will to fight seeping out of my pores. Every effort extended had collapsed in defeat. What else could I do? I turned my head, my anger giving way to the sense of despair that had been steadily encroaching. With my will gone, I succumbed to the blackness and it engulfed me fully. I lifted my eyes ever so slightly and was met with the concerned gaze of a russet wolf.

_She__'__s __worse,_ he thought. And with those words, I crumbled.

-x-

I don't know how long I sat at the foot of the bed, rocking helplessly as the waves of sorrow crashed over me. My mind had shut down, perhaps protecting itself from the trauma of my harsh reality.

_Edward?_

I raised my head just as Emmett's large frame knelt beside mine. He rested on his heels, nervously wringing his hands. _I__ really __am__ sorry,_he thought.

I shrugged, lowering my head back down onto my knees. I had no need for empty apologies.

_You __may __not __want __to __listen__ to __me, __but __I __have__ something __to __say._

I didn't respond, hoping he would just go away.

_I__ know__ you__ think __that__ I__'__m__ not __on__ your __side,__ but __I__'__m __not__ on__ Rosalie__'__s __side __either. __I__'__m__ on__ Bella__'__s__ side.__ She__ may __be__ your __wife, __but__ she__'__s __also __my __little __sister. __I__ hate __watching __her __go __through __this ,__but__ what __kind __of__ brother __would __I __be __if __I__ didn__'__t __support __her?_

I wanted to yell at him, to argue that he wasn't helping her, only enabling her insanity, but I didn't have the strength to quarrel any longer. I looked up at him. His expression was so despondent and I could see in his eyes that, even though he was respecting Bella's wishes, he was terrified of losing both a sister and a brother in the process.

_I __love __you, __you__ know __that. __I__'__m__ trying __my __best __here __to __trust __in__ Bella__'__s __decision__ and__ have __faith __that __you__ and __Carlisle __will __find__ a__ way __to __get__ them__ both __out __of__ this __safely. __It__'__s __not __easy __for __me __either,__ you__ know. __If __the __roles __were__ reversed __and __Bella __didn__'__t __want__ to __take __the__ risk, __I __would __be __the __first __one __to __help __hold __Rosie__ back __so __you __and __Carlisle __could __do __what__ you __had __to. __She__'__d__ hate __me__ for __it__…__for __a__ while__…__but __she__'__d__ come__ around._

There wasn't an iota of deceit in his thoughts. Emmett has always been forthcoming, subscribing to the ideal that honesty really is the best policy. I wanted to refute him, but I couldn't. I managed a tight smile and a nod which he responded to by wrapping his large arms around me and giving me a tight squeeze. I understood his position, even if it clashed with mine.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed that no one was truly happy with the turn of events that occurred with the consummation of our marriage. Even Rosalie had her own reservations, although she kept them more well hidden than her pleasure at the idea of welcoming a child into the family. The question that remained was what sacrifices would we have to make? In the name of honor, what could we lose?

It looked as though I was the only one willing to go against Bella's wishes in the interest of saving her life. With an unwelcome sense of irony, my mind recalled a conversation not long ago where I was reminded…_Bella __wants __a__ partner, __not __a__ protector. _But could I do that? Could I force myself to break out of the mold that had defined our interactions?

It was the one aspect that I had struggled with most in our relationship – foregoing my sense of duty to protect her, of seeing her as a fragile creature unable to defend itself. It began with a skidding van in the school parking lot, a troupe of wandering vampires with an affinity for deadly games, a paper cut, the Volturi, Jacob, Victoria, newborns… The list was nearly endless and each and every time I struggled with shedding my savior persona, likely a reflection of my upbringing.

Emmett remained at my side for some time. He felt immensely guilty for the way he had treated me, but relieved that he had the opportunity to explain himself. Much like with Rosalie, I had been too angry to bother figuring out his motivations for blocking my efforts.

My thoughts were interrupted by yet another altercation between Rosalie and Carlisle. Carlisle had spent his time running tests and reading monitors and, although initially cooperative, Rosalie was fighting him every step of the way.

"I just need some more samples," he reasoned.

"That's enough, Carlisle," Rosalie hissed. "You'll wake her."

_Better __awake __than__ dead,_ he thought, but immediately regretted his errant thought when he caught my gaze. "Rosalie, please. Be reasonable."

"Rosalie," I groaned, standing to my feet. "Carlisle is a doctor. Bella is a patient. He's only trying to help."

"So am I."

"Babe, come on," Emmett soothed, stepping beside Rosalie and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Just let Carlisle do his job."

"It will only take a moment," Carlisle assured her.

She stared at him through narrowed eyes, but finally relented with a huff, crossing her arms and stepping back to lean against the wall. Emmett remained beside her, his thoughts torn between comforting her and the possibility of restraining her.

I arched a questioning eyebrow and he shrugged in response.

Seconds later, Carlisle had a handful of fresh blood samples. _Care __to __join __me?_ he asked.

I hesitated briefly, not wishing to leave Bella's side, but realized I could probably be of more use in Carlisle's study than sitting idle while she slept. I reached out, cradling her hand in mine, and pressed my lips to her knuckles before lowering her hand back to the bed and following Carlisle up the steps.

"My initial findings are there." Carlisle nodded to the monitor on his desk. I stared at the glowing screen, reading the results from his first round of tests. As I feared, she had already begun to show decreased function in both her liver and kidneys. If Carlisle's latest attempt to provide nourishment failed, both she and the child within her would starve to death.

I raked my fingers through my hair as I watched Carlisle work. I didn't believe I had ever seen him so diligently focused on a task before. His stakes in this were nearly as high as mine.

"Dammit," he cried, pounding his fist on the table in frustration. Fragments of wood and glass fell in a scattered pile at his feet. _What __else__ can __I__ do?_

"Carlisle?"

He sighed heavily. "Her body's not absorbing any nutrients. It seems that no matter what we try, her body rejects it. I don't understand. I don't know…I'm at a complete loss."

"Is there nothing we can do?" I asked, now keenly aware of the possibility that Bella may not even survive long enough to deliver.

_I__ don__'__t __know._ He shook his head sadly.

"What about delivering early? How long would we have to let it go on before the fetus would be viable outside of the womb?"

"We're dealing with too many unknown variables. There is no way of knowing. And I find it difficult to imagine either Rosalie or Bella allowing us to take that chance."

"We may not have a choice," I argued. "If we don't figure out something soon, they'll both die. What good is there in that? All of this would have been for naught!"

_I __know._

I paced the length of the room, angry footsteps echoing throughout the house. I gripped my hair so tightly; it felt it might rend itself from my head. What else could we do? She could not ingest anything; intravenous nutrition was failing – what else was there?

Then all at once, my musings ceased with the two words uttered from the floor below that gained my attention.

_She__'__s __awake._

**A/N:****I****'****m ****trying ****to ****ramp ****things ****up ****as**** the**** November ****18****th ****deadline**** creeps**** closer.**** Thankfully,**** the ****closer ****we ****get, ****the ****more ****news**** there ****is**** about ****the**** movie**** which**** gives ****me ****the ****fuel ****to ****keep ****going.**** Thanks ****again**** for ****following ****along ****on ****this ****journey ****with ****me.**** I**** appreciate ****all ****your ****continued**** support.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for continually encouraging me.**


	18. Chapter 18: Monstrous

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 18

Monstrous

I stayed at Bella's bedside, afraid to be apart from her. Watching her deteriorate was tearing me apart, but now that she was awake, I pushed those feeling far down into the pit of my stomach – deep enough so that she couldn't see them. She needed to be strong and expending extra effort worrying about me would be of no use.

She seemed even weaker than before, if that was even possible. She was growing thinner before my eyes, diminishing flesh leaving behind only skin and bone. It felt as though even the slightest movement would cause her to shatter. I had half a mind to ask Jasper to sedate her again. Even being awake caused her to exert more energy than her body could afford.

Carlisle continued to exhaust his mental capacity in the search of a means of sustaining Bella until the birth. I feared that if this continued much longer, her heart would give out before even the venom could save her.

The steady drip of the IV persisted to echo through the room. _Drip, drip. Drip, drip._ The sound of the useless liquid seemed to grow louder with the passing seconds, pounding its way into my head. It may as well have been the sound of banging hammers driving nails into her coffin for all the good it was doing. I grit my teeth and buried my face in the blankets that covered her thin body.

She reached down, gently running her fingers through my hair, caressing the side of my face. I wanted to tell her to conserve her energy, but with the fleeting moments of tender caresses dwindling, I didn't have the willpower to say the words. The guilt of my selfishness gnawed at me, poking holes in my already frayed psyche.

Carlisle appeared at Bella's bedside at regular intervals to monitor her progress, or lack thereof. Thankfully, Rosalie kept her arguments at bay for Bella's sake and allowed him to tend to her, although she still kept a careful watch on his actions.

My other siblings were busying themselves once again with attempts to research what it was we were dealing with and developing strategies to contend with every possible scenario, including those involving an attack by the pack. Esme flitted around the house, distracting herself with mundane housework, moving at a human's pace to fill the time and avoid the uncomfortable silence.

_I'm going to go check in with the Cullens._ Jacob's thoughts tugged at the strands of my consciousness. For the most part, I had paid little attention to the growing drama of the fledgling wolf pack that sat guard outside our home. It appeared that in choosing to be a part of Bella's life, we both had gotten more than we bargained for.

"Jacob's coming," I murmured through the cushion of sheets and blankets. I tried to push myself away from the bed to meet him, but my body protested, like my heart would rip itself from my chest only to stay with her if I left her side.

"Edward?" Esme whispered.

"I..." I groaned. "He's in his human form. Could someone else..."

"Carlisle, why don't you greet him," Esme whispered. I felt her hand rubbing small circles on my back as she made her suggestion. _We can't ask Edward to leave Bella. Not now._

I heard the click of the handle and the scraping of metal against metal as the hinges swung the door open. Bella's hand reached for my face again and I reached up, lacing my fingers with hers and brought her hand to my lips instead.

_Carlisle...not Edward. He looks exhausted...defeated. Does that mean...?_

_He looks greatly concerned._ _Has something gone wrong? News of an attack? _"Are you all right, Jacob?"

"Is Bella?" he choked, his heart hammering in his chest at the notion.

"She's...much the same as last night," Carlisle sighed. "Did I startle you? I'm sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn't want to leave her. She's awake."

_And Edward didn't want to lose any time with her...not much time left. I think I feel as exhausted as he looks._ I listened as Jacob slumped down, blowing out a breath of both relief and fatigue.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don't know how much I appreciate your...compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do..."

"Don't mention it."

"If you prefer."

Silence once again enveloped the house, save for the beating of now two hearts – one steady and strong, the other faltering. It appeared the distinction between the two was not lost on Jacob either.

"She's family to you?" Jacob asked.

_Of_ course. "Yes," Carlisle replied. "Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter."

"But you're going to let her die," Jacob blurted out.

_Which makes this all the more painful. I will do everything I can in my power. I promise, you, Edward, I will._ "I can imagine what you think of me for that. But I can't ignore her will. It wouldn't be right to make such a choice for her, to force her."

_He's right, but...he's wrong. How can letting her die be the right thing to do? Is it murder? Or mercy? Why does Bella have to love things that she shouldn't?_ "Do you think there's any chance she'll make it? I mean as a vampire and all that. She told me about...about Esme."

"I'd say there's an even chance at this point," Carlisle whispered. "I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail...there won't be anything for me to do."

It was a welcome distraction, listening to the parade of confused thoughts in Jacob's mind. It seemed that he had acquired a significant change of heart when it came to the subject of Bella's life. As much as he detested our kind, he would rather her become like us than to leave this world entirely. As painful as that prospect was, as appalling as it would be to take away her soul, it seemed that we were both willing to do whatever it took to keep her in our lives.

"What is that thing doing to her?" he whispered. "She was so much worse last night. I saw…the tubes and all that. Through the window."

Carlisle breathed a heavy sigh and I could hear the telltale sound of his palm scraping against his forehead. "The fetus isn't compatible with her body. Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won't allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I'm trying to feed her intravenously, but she's just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I'm watching her – and not just her, but the fetus as well – starve to death by the hour. I can't stop it and I can't slow it down. I can't figure out what it _wants_." _And soon I may lose all three of them._

Jacob's thoughts grew angry and I could sense the subtle shift in his molecules from even this distance. The wolf was threatening to emerge. He hated the spawn just as much as I did, despised it for what it was doing to Bella in order to sustain itself. _Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into – a throat to suck dry. I can tell them exactly what it wants – death and blood, blood and death._

My body froze when I heard Jacob's thoughts. What should have been incendiary drivel, typical of a mind with such prejudices against our kind, was the most brilliant idea I had heard since this all began. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as my hand splayed across my face – the proverbial smack upside the head. Why hadn't we thought of it before? If the creature growing inside Bella was like us, of course it would reject any form of human food. Because that's not what it wanted. It craved the same thing that we did, the same thirst that scorched our throats and drove us to the brink of madness.

"Are you alright?" Bella whispered, taking in the sudden shift in my demeanor.

A nervous chuckle escaped my lips. "Fine," I whispered. _Better than fine._ I could feel the small glimmer of hope taking root in my heart. I tried to squelch it, to keep it at bay for fear I would only suffer greater disappointment if I was wrong, but it did little good. The tiny spark began to glow brilliantly and, like a drowning man, I clung to that tiny hope with all that I had.

"I'll be right back, Bella," I whispered, moving to stand. "I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?"

_What is he up to?_

"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked.

"Nothing you need to worry about love," I said as I reached out to smooth her hair, allowing my fingers to linger on her cheek. I didn't want to give her this hope. Not until we were sure. "It will just take a second. Please, Rose?"

Rosalie eyed me suspiciously, but could find no legitimate reason to refuse my request. "Esme? Can you mind Bella for me?"

Esme appeared at Bella's bedside. "Of course."

Rosalie followed me to the door and I was careful to shut it behind us, not wishing Bella to hear. She may think me horrible for making such a suggestion and I wanted to shield her from any false hopes. Carlisle and Jacob had turned around and were staring at me expectedly.

"Carlisle."

"What is it, Edward?"

I had to struggle to keep the nearly irrational hope from seeping into my voice. "Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the…fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."

_Me? What thought?_

"We haven't actually addressed _that_ angle," I continued. "We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the…fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."

"I'm not following you, Edward," Carlisle said, looking confused.

"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves – what it's not getting? Jacob did."

_But what could he…he doesn't mean…_ "Oh," Carlisle exclaimed. "You think it is…thirsty?"

_Oh my God, that's it! That's what the baby needs._ "Of course," Rosalie breathed. "Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea."

"Hmm," Carlisle murmured as he rubbed his chin between his thumb and index finger. _If the fetus is encased in a hard shell, how would we get the blood to it? Surely Bella wouldn't… _"I wonder…And then, what would be the best way to administer…"

"We don't have time to be creative," Rosalie cut him off. "I'd say we should start with the traditional way."

"Wait a minute," Jacob hissed, raising up his hands with a look of disgust on his face. "Just hold on. Are you – are you talking about making Bella drink _blood_?"

"It was your idea, dog," Rosalie growled. _Who would have thought an idea like that would come from a stupid mutt._

Jacob's mouth turned down in a grimace and a shudder ran through him. _Gross._ "That's just…"

"Monstrous?" I finished. "Repulsive?"

He nodded. "Pretty much."

As revolting as the idea was for Bella to drink blood – _human blood_ – I couldn't deny that it may be our best chance of saving her. With the fetus rapidly maturing, we needed to work quickly to build Bella's strength if we had any hopes of her surviving the birth. "But what if it helps her?" I whispered, almost a plea.

_Bella would never…she hates blood!_ "What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?" Jacob snarled.

I shook my head. "I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first."

_I just don't know_, Carlisle thought. _It would be asking quite a lot of Bella to do such a thing. With her bouts of nausea, I have my doubts she could even stomach the thought of ingesting it, let alone trying to keep it down._

"If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything," Rosalie added. "Even if we do have to feed them through a tube." _She'll do it. I know she will._

_Blondie will be in line with anything that helps the little life-sucking monster. So that's what's going on between those two? Is Rosalie after the kid?_

I nodded slightly, answering Jacob's silent question. Although Rosalie's intentions were noble, she knew that there was a strong possibility that Bella would not survive the birth. In every scenario that played out in her mind, when Bella's death resulted, she saw herself as the creature's mother.

_So much for protecting Bella – Rosalie'd probably jam the tube down Bella's throat herself._

Jacob's thoughts about my sister, although harsh, weren't very far from the truth. In Rosalie's skewed perception, even something as repulsive as forcefully feeding blood to Bella would be justified if it ensured that the baby would benefit. In essence, the end would truly justify the means in her mind.

"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this," Rosalie fumed, tossing her hands up in exasperation. "What do you think, Carlisle?"

_What's the harm in trying, right?_ Carlisle stood. "We'll ask Bella."

With confirmation from Carlisle, the hope blooming in my chest continued to grow. We filed back into the house and Bella looked up at me, a confused look on her face. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Jacob had an idea that might help you," Carlisle began. "It won't be…pleasant, but – "

"But it will help the baby," Rosalie interjected. "We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe."_ It's going to work. I just know it._

"Not pleasant"? Bella laughed weakly. "Gosh, that'll be such a change."

Jacob shook his head. _So Bella. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else._

I stepped up to the bed and reached for Bella's hand. Up until this moment, I had felt so hopeful that this idea would work, but now looking into the face of my wife, the thought of asking her to do something so absolutely revolting turned my stomach. My mind went back to a time not so long ago when she nearly fainted at a drop of blood in biology class. How could I expect her to accomplish this?

I took a deep, steadying breath."Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous. Repulsive."

She winced. "How bad?"

_Really bad,_ Jacob thought.

"We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than yours," Carlisle explained. "We think it's thirsty."

The space between Bella's brows puckered as she stared at Carlisle for several beats. Then, all at ones, realization dawned and her mouth gaped. "Oh. _Oh,_" she exclaimed.

Carlisle rubbed his palm across his forehead. "Your condition – both of your conditions – are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory – "

"I've got to drink it," she finished. She seemed to take it all in, mulling over the idea in her mind. I had almost expected her to balk and refuse at the first mention, but her determination to see her pregnancy to completion was like nothing I had ever seen. "I can do that," she finally said with a slight nod. A small smile crept up her lips. "Practice for the future, right?"

_Let's get on with it. We're wasting time._ Rosalie began to tap her foot impatiently.

"So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked.

She had misunderstood. Perhaps Carlisle's explanation wasn't clear. I cringed, looking to Carlisle. Asking Bella to drink blood was bad enough, but human blood?

"What?" Bella asked, clearly confused by our silence.

"_If_ the fetus is craving blood, it's not craving animal blood," I explained. I hated myself for asking this of her. Perhaps it would have been better if we protected her from the distinction that made our request that much more heinous.

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it," Rosalie encouraged.

Bella's expression changed as she understood what we were telling her. "Who?" she asked, her gaze automatically flickering to the only other warm-blooded creature in the room.

_Don't look at me. _Jacob held up his hands defensively. "I'm not here as a donor, Bells," he said. "Sides, it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies – "

"We have blood on hand," Rosalie interrupted. "For you – just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better."

Bella's gaze flickered from Rosalie to her bloated stomach. She reached down, caressing it as she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Well," she whispered. "_I'm_ starving, so I'll bet he is, too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act."

With Bella's acquiescence, Carlisle and Rosalie disappeared to prepare. The hope I felt dimmed in the shadow of what Bella was about to do, of the reminders that her days as a human truly were numbered. I clasped her hand in mine and bent down, placing it against my cheek. I could hear Carlisle and Rosalie debating quantities and temperatures, but I paid little attention. My task of presenting the idea had been done. Now my place was at Bella's side, supporting her in whatever way I could.

She stared back at me; unfathomable emotions swirled in the depths of her chocolate brown eyes. Did she see my offering this new idea as my acceptance of the fetus growing within her? I wanted desperately to see her happy and healthy, but I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but hatred for the monster that was slowly draining away her life. If, by some miracle, they both happened to survive this whole ordeal, I wondered how I would feel about the creature then. I suspected that I would have a difficult time hating anything that was much a part of Bella as it was of me.

Rosalie flew down the stairs and into the kitchen where she began opening cabinets. I could see she was selecting a container to hold the morbid red liquid. "Not _clear_, Rosalie," I muttered when I saw her reach for a glass. It was bad enough that Bella would have to smell and taste the blood. The least we could do was protect her from seeing what she had to ingest.

"This was your idea?" Bella whispered, looking to Jacob.

"Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."

She smiled and her expression softened. "I didn't expect to see you again."

"Yeah, me, either," he replied, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

"Edward told me what you had to do. I'm sorry."

"S'okay." He shrugged. "It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do."

"And Seth," she whispered.

"He's actually happy to help."

Bella frowned, shaking her head slowly. "I hate causing you trouble."

_Bella, you are nothing but trouble._ Jacob laughed.

"I guess that's nothing new, is it?" she sighed.

"No, not really." He smiled.

"You don't have to stay and watch this," she whispered.

_I could…probably would be best. But if I did… _"I don't really have anywhere else to go," he lied. "The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

"Leah?" she gasped.

Jacob's gaze turned to me. "You didn't tell her?" he asked.

"Why?"

"To keep an eye on Seth," he replied.

"But Leah hates us."

_Us. Nice._ "Leah's not going to bug anyone," he promised. _But me._ "She's in my pack, so she follows my lead."

Bella eyed him skeptically, clearly not believing his attempts to placate her.

"You're scared of _Leah_, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?" he challenged.

_Psychopath? _Rosalie hissed.

Bella frowned. "Don't," she warned. "Rose…understands."

"Yeah," Jacob scoffed. "She understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."

"Stop being a jerk, Jacob," she whispered.

He smiled. "You say that like it's possible."

Bella stared at him for a moment, but resigned her anger and smiled along with him. I could already smell the blood before Carlisle appeared with a white cup clutched in his hand. Rosalie was following closely behind, practically giddy at the idea that this would work. Jacob grimaced when he saw the cup. He could smell the blood as well.

Carlisle held the cup in front of him, but Bella shuddered delicately as his hand began to extend. Her eyes never left the cup.

_She's afraid_, Carlisle thought. "We could try another method," he whispered, drawing back the hand that held the cup.

"No." Bella shook her head. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time…" Her hand cradled her stomach as she continued to eye the cup, clearly warring with herself – the determination to save the fetus clashing with her natural aversion to blood.

She reached up and took the cup from Carlisle. Her hand trembled as she held the cup, her arm barely strong enough to complete such a simple task. With her other arm, she tried to sit up, but her body trembled in protest. She was far too weak. If this didn't work, she wouldn't last much longer. I reached for her, but Rosalie was already behind her, propping her upright and supporting her head.

"Thanks," Bella whispered. The hand that held the cup continued to tremble and she glanced between Jacob and myself, clearly uncertain about what she was about to do.

"Don't mind them," Rosalie encouraged.

Bella brought the cup up to her face and her nostrils flared and she made a face as she smelled the blood through the straw.

"Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way," I offered, reaching for the cup.

_There's no time for that. _"Plug your nose," Rosalie suggested. _Stop it, Edward. She can do this._

_She's glaring at Edward's hand like she might take a snap at it,_ Jacob thought._ I wish she would. I bet Edward wouldn't take that sitting down, and I'd love to see Blondie lose a limb._ If the tension in the room hadn't been such as it was, I would have laughed at Jacob's thoughts.

"No, that's not it." Bella shook her head lightly, looking puzzled. "It's just that it – it smells good."

I remembered Bella's reactions to blood in the past and they were far from pleasant. _Rust and salt_, she had said. To hear her say that it smelled good caught me off guard and I could see the idea bothered Jacob as well. The small glimmer of hope began to burn brightly again.

"That's a good thing," Rosalie pressed. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try." _This is going to work. I know it. Why hadn't we thought of it sooner?_

Bella's gaze flickered to mine before she squeezed her eyes shut and put the straw to her lips. Her hand trembled and she took a deep breath, wrinkling her nose, before taking a timid sip. She moaned quietly.

I stepped toward her, reaching for her face. Was she going to be ill again? Had this all been a horrible idea? "Bella, love – "

"I'm okay," she whispered. She opened her eyes and I tried to decipher the emotions I saw there. "It _tastes_ good, too."

"That's good," Rosalie exclaimed. "A good sign."

I couldn't see into her thoughts, but the look in her eyes was almost one of shame. I pressed my palm to her cheek, silently encouraging her. She took a larger pull from the straw.

"How's your stomach?" Carlisle asked. "Do you feel nauseated?"

"No, I don't feel sick." She shook her head. "There's a first, eh?"

"Excellent." Rosalie cheered.

_Let's not get ahead of ourselves._ "I think it's a bit early for that, Rose," Carlisle chastised.

Bella continued to drink from the cup, taking mouthfuls of the red liquid. Venom trickled uselessly down my throat as I watched her throat muscles relax and contract. Her eyes grew wide and she stopped, looking up at me. "Does this screw my total?" she asked. "Or do we start counting _after_ I'm a vampire?"

"No one is counting, Bella," I assured her. "In any case, no one died for this. Your record is still clean."

_What in the world are they talking about?_

"I'll explain later," I whispered to Jacob.

"What?" Bella asked, hearing my reply.

"Just talking to myself," I lied.

I could feel Jacob watching me. _If Bella lives, Edward isn't going to be able to get away with so much when her senses are as sharp as his. He'll have to work on the honesty thing._ I had to fight to contain my smile. Jacob was right – when, or if, Bella became like me, there would be little I could protect her from. Then again, she wouldn't be nearly as fragile as she was in her human form.

We sat quietly as Bella continued to drink. Her reaction to the blood wasn't nearly as I had expected and the small glimmer of hope began to burn even brighter as the color started to return to Bella's complexion.

_She's not looking – probably pretending we're not here_, Jacob thought._ Maybe just me. No one else in this group would be disgusted by what she'd doing. They're probably having a tough time not ripping the cup away from her._

I rolled my eyes at the thought. Did he really think we were that uncivilized, that out of control?

_Jeez, how does anyone stand living with him? It's too bad he can't hear Bella's thoughts. Then he'd annoy the crap out of her, too, and she'd get tired of him._

A chuckle escaped my lips and I nearly clamped my hand over my mouth. Bella looked at me, probably wondering if I had finally lost my mind. But then she smiled in return.

"Something funny?" she asked.

"Jacob."

Her eyes flickered to Jacob and she nodded. "Jake's a crack-up."

_Great, now I'm the court jester. _"Bada _bing_," he grumbled.

She smiled and returned her attention to the cup, pulling at the straw until there was nothing left. She looked at me with a satisfied smile. "I did it. If I keep this down, Carlisle, will you take the needles out of me?"

He smiled. "As soon as possible. Honestly, they aren't doing that much good where they are."

Rosalie smoothed the hair across Bella's forehead. _I knew it would work._ "Would you like more?" she asked.

I saw the hesitancy in her eyes. "You don't have to drink more right away," I told her.

"Yeah, I know," she muttered, looking sheepish. "But…I _want _to."

"You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella," Rosalie maintained. "Your body has cravings. We all understand that." She looked up at Jacob before adding, "Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't be here."

"I'll be right back," Carlisle said, taking the cup from Bella's hand.

Bella smoothed the blanket over her bloated stomach and smiled as she caressed it. After a moment she looked up at Jacob and her lips turned down in a frown. "Jake, you look awful."

"Look who's talking."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously – when's the last time you slept?"

He paused for a moment. "Huh. I'm not actually sure."

"Aw, Jake," Bella moaned. "Now I'm messing with your health, too. Don't be stupid."

_What, so she's allowed to kill herself for a monster, but I'm not allowed to miss a few nights' sleep to watch her do it?_

"Get some rest, please," she encouraged. "There're a few beds upstairs – you're welcome to any of them."

_Not any of them!_ _We'd never get the smell out. _Rosalie wrinkled her nose.

Jacob shook his head. "Thanks, Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."

"Right."

Carlisle returned with a second cup and Bella didn't hesitate as she began drinking again. Her color had improved. Her heart sounded stronger. Did I dare allow myself to believe that this could actually work – that we could actually save them both?

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked, reaching for the now empty cup.

"Not sick. Sort of hungry…only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or _thirsty_, you know?"

"Carlisle, just look at her," Rosalie exclaimed in an exasperated tone. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

"She's still human, Rosalie. She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"

"Eggs," she replied without hesitation. I smiled, remembering all too well just how many eggs she consumed before we realized what had happened on our wedding night.

I saw Jacob begin to droop out of the corner of my eye. "Jacob, you really should sleep," I encouraged. "As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything – I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

"Sure, sure," he mumbled, only half-awake. _Now that it appears she has a few more hours, I could escape…far enough so the smell couldn't reach me. The bloodsucker would wake me up if something went wrong. He owes me._

"I do," I agreed. I owed Jacob for much more than I could ever repay.

He nodded and reached for Bella's hand. _So cold_. "Feel better," he said.

"Thanks, Jacob."

He looked to me. "Get her a blanket or something." _She's freezing. _And with that, he turned and disappeared out the door and into the early morning light.

**A/N:**** I can't believe we passed 1,000 reviews. Thank you all so much! It's getting exciting that the movie is so close. Only 29 days to go! Thanks to everyone for continually supporting this story and cheering me on.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for being my biggest cheerleader.**


	19. Chapter 19: Decline

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 19

Decline

Two howls echoed through the forest just as Jacob stepped outside the door. I heard him curse under his breath before the sound of ripping clothing reached my ears.

_Oh __my__…_

_Is something wrong? What's happening?_

Bella's eyes met mine, her brow furrowed in concern. "What happened?"

Jasper and Emmett appeared at the top of the stairs, Alice trailing just behind them. "What's going on?" Jasper asked. _Is __it __the __pack?_

"I don't know yet," I said, shaking my head. "Seth said that three members of the pack are in his vicinity. Leah and Jacob are running to join him."

"An attack?" Esme fretted.

"I don't think so." I stretched my ability. The structure of the unified pack consciousness simplified matters as I only had to listen to one stream of thoughts in order to hear them all. I focused on Jacob as I was most familiar with the workings of his mind.

_Someone__'__s __phasing?_

_They__'__re__ coming.__ Slow.__ Walking._

_Four. Three wolves, one man._

I took Bella's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "There are only four of them," I explained. "One of them is in human form."

"A delegation," Jasper murmured.

I nodded in agreement.

"They're likely trying to either gain information or entice the defectors to rejoin their pack," Jasper speculated. "It could be a trap, but it's doubtful that Sam would sacrifice four men as a diversion when his numbers have already been depleted."

"So they're not attacking?" Carlisle asked.

Jasper shook his head. "Not yet."

"They want them to come back," I offered, hearing the conversation through Jacob's thoughts. "They think Jacob is overreacting to Sam's strategy for dealing with…us."

"You mean me," Bella whispered, the corners of her mouth turning down in a frown as she clutched her belly protectively. I cupped her cheek in my palm, wiping away a stray tear with the pad of my thumb.

"They will never hurt you," I promised. "I would never let that happen."

_…__talked __to __the __Elders. __They__'__ve__ decided__ that __immediate __action __is __in __no__ one__'__s__ best __interest__ at __this __point__…__we __can __wait __for __Bella __to__ be __separated __from__ the__ problem._

I felt a small sense of relief knowing that the pack had decided to hold back until after Bella gave birth, but I doubted that they would wait a moment longer. Whether lying helpless under the clutches of venom or struggling to protect our offspring, I feared that Bella would be far from danger once she was separated from _the __problem_ – if she even survived the process.

_Leah, __make __a __circuit__ – __just __to __be __sure. __I__'__m__ going __to __have __to __talk __to __him__…_

"Jacob's going to phase," I murmured.

"He's what?" Bella asked.

"Jared is in human form," I explained. "Jacob is going to phase so he can speak with him. I'm sure they're just trying to convince him to come back."

"He should," she whispered. "I hate that he's had to give up everything for me. Can he go back?"

"I don't think so. He seems to think that accepting his birthright was an irrevocable choice."

"He never wanted that." She frowned again. I supposed she felt guilty for the situation he had been placed in, for being forced to make such a rash decision he would likely regret the consequences for later.

"He did it for you," I whispered, reaching for her hand. "He would do practically anything for you. We all would."

The familiar blush crept up her cheeks as she looked away. "I just wish things had turned out differently."

"I know."

_You__ don__'__t __have __a __home __here. __You__'__re __already__ out __of __clothes__…__Sam__ is __sorry __about __what __he __did __to__ you._

"What's happening now?" Carlisle asked.

"They're playing on his sympathies, reminding him that he, Seth, and Leah are, in essence, destitute."

"Oh my," Esme gasped. _And __they__'__re __right. __They __have __no __food, __no __shelter, __no__…__that __won__'__t __do.__ We__ have __to __help __them._ Esme disappeared from the room with her mind set on a new mission. True to form, she was the very essence of a maternal figure, feeling the duty to care for everyone around her. She and Bella were so alike.

_We're going to wait and see how it plays out, too. And we're going to watch out for the Cullens for as long as that seems necessary. Because, despite what you think, this isn't just about Bella. We're protecting those who should be protected. And that applies to the Cullens, too._

I cocked my head to the side, surprised by Jacob's words. If I hadn't been able to hear his thoughts at the same time as his words, I would have believed he said them merely for show. It seemed that Jacob was beginning to have a change of heart. I had a feeling that it was Carlisle more than any other that had triggered this shift.

Their conversation continued, manipulative words delivered with the intent of causing Jacob enough guilt to abandon his defection. It was evident in their thoughts that Sam had ordered them to say anything they had to in order to convince their pack mates to rejoin them. I could sense the unease in both Leah and Seth at the mention of their mother, but it was quickly replaced by anger at Sam's feeble attempt to entice Leah to come back into the fold.

Disappointed and angry, the pack members gave up their attempts to sway the fledgling pack. Jacob was firm in his convictions which seemed now to include protecting us as well as Bella. I felt a new-found respect for Jacob in that moment. After all we had been through, after all the ways he had manipulated and attempted to steal Bella's heart, who knew, we may end up becoming friends after all.

"It's over," I whispered.

"Over?" Bella asked.

"They tried to convince Jacob and the others to come home, but they refused to divert from their current objective. They've given up…for now."

_I__ guess __we __know__ why __Embry __wasn__'__t __allowed __to __come._

_Not allowed?_

_Jake, did ya see Quil? He's pretty torn up…I'd put ten to one that Embry's even more upset…there's no way Quil can just pick up and walk away from La Push. Embry might._

"There's dissension in the pack," I offered.

"How so?" Jasper asked.

"There is at least one other member who seems to have wavering loyalty. Sam wouldn't allow him to be included in the party that met with Jacob."

"Wise decision on his part." Jasper nodded. "If any of Sam's pack members are entertaining the idea of defecting, he is smart to keep them away from Jacob's influence, whether Jacob intends it or not."

"For now, it appears that we don't need to worry about the pack," Carlisle sighed, relief flooding his thoughts.

"But it's important to remain vigilant," Jasper reminded him. "If they do still intend to attack, this could have been a ruse to encourage us to let our guard down."

I could feel Bella's hand quivering in mine. "You have nothing to worry about, love," I soothed. "Nothing will happen. We'll be fine."

_The __stress __can__'__t __be __good __for __her. __Perhaps __a__ distraction__… _"Bella, would you feel better without all this equipment?" Carlisle whispered. _Now__ that __she__'__s __improving,__ it__'__s __hardly __necessary, __don__'__t__ you __think?_

Bella and I both nodded together, although her nod was a bit more enthusiastic. Carlisle smiled – the first true smile I had seen in a while – and he began the task of unplugging the equipment.

"I would like to maintain the IV for a while."

"But why?" Bella complained.

"If the fetus is getting nourishment from the blood, I'm hoping that your body will now be able to absorb the nutrients from the IV. It's just for a bit longer – until you are able to eat at regular intervals."

Bella's shoulders slumped slightly at the prospect of retaining her IV, but even disappointed, she still looked better than she had in days. The flush in her cheeks I had grown to love so much had returned and her heart had seemed to find a somewhat steady rhythm again. I leaned in to kiss her forehead and she squeaked as I picked her up in my arms.

"Let's make you more comfortable." I smiled.

Rosalie stepped up behind me, moving the metal pole that held up the bag of lifesaving fluids along with us. Esme was waiting with a thick quilt draped over the couch. As soon as I laid Bella down, she was promptly swaddled in the blanket's warmth.

"Thank you." Bella smiled, burying her face in the blanket's folds.

_You __want __me __to __explain __to __the __Cullens?__ They__'__re__ probably __still __kinda__ tense._

_I got it. I want to check things out anyway. _

I lowered myself to the couch, propping Bella's feet in my lap. Emmett and Jasper assisted Carlisle in moving the medical equipment back into his office and the hospital bed into storage. Alice and Esme began rearranging the furniture in the living room so that it resembled something near to the arrangement that had existed before everything had been moved. Bella yelped in surprise when they picked up the couch to move it while we were both still sitting on it.

I snickered under my breath. Even after all this time, Bella still seemed to underestimate us. She may be quite surprised at what she would be able to do when she became one of us. The thought, although still difficult to accept, had begun to settle in my mind as the inevitable conclusion to our seemingly doomed romance. Whether I was willing to admit it or not, I knew that she would either die at the hands of the creature inside her or be changed. There was little choice in the matter at this point.

"Edward," Bella whispered. My gaze met hers and she averted her eyes, a deep blush creeping up her cheeks.

"What is it?"

"What did you say to Jacob?" she asked.

"When?"

"When he first came to the house, when you left to speak to him, he told me that you offered...did you really say ask him to..."

I nodded weakly, knowing exactly what she was asking. Her mouth gaped and her eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and sadness. _Why_? she mouthed.

"Because I would have done anything to save you – even if that meant giving you up. If you wanted a child, I hoped that a less extreme option might suffice."

She shook her head, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "But it's not just any baby that I want," she sighed, reaching for my hand. "It's yours. Nothing could ever replace that."

"I know."

"But you had to try," she offered.

I nodded, bringing her hand to my lips. "You are my everything. I can't lose you…especially not like this, not by my own doing."

"You won't," she spoke with conviction. I imagined it was easier to feel confident now that her health had begun to improve. It was staggering how quickly she had recovered when, just hours ago, she seemed to be knocking at death's door.

With the room back in order, a tentative sense of calm and relief settled over the house now that at least one threat seemed to have been eliminated. Jasper, Emmett, and Alice returned to their research. Rosalie returned to her post at Bella's side, offering her a fresh cup of blood and now exuding a haughty sense of satisfaction that Bella was improving.

Carlisle hovered nearby, cautiously optimistic. Esme smiled as she passed, her arms loaded with a stack of clothing that she laid on the porch. _For__ Jacob_, she thought. _It__'__s __the __least __we __can __do._ She joined Carlisle and he wrapped her in his arms, kissing her briefly on the forehead.

_Everything__'__s__ cool_, I heard Jacob think, although his reassuring words were hardly necessary. Perhaps he didn't realize that I could hear him while he met with the other pack members. I could hear his paws as they padded the rain-soaked earth just outside the house. He hesitantly took the clothing and trotted back to the tree line.

A few moments later, he appeared in the doorway, cautiously determining whether or not to enter. His face was haggard, his features weary. I wondered when he had last slept. He immediately noted the changes that had occurred since he was last standing in this room. Admittedly, everything seemed to change quite drastically with Jacob's inadvertent revelation about the nourishment the fetus sought.

_Oh __goody, h__e__'__s __back,_ Rosalie thought.

_He __looks __exhausted, _Esme worried.

His eyes met mine and I smiled, seeing Jacob in a different light than I had before. It seemed that everything had changed, including him. His shifting loyalties and compassion for our plight softened my heart toward him.

Bella looked up and smiled. _I__ can__'__t __remember__ the__ last __time__ she__ looked __so__ excited__ to __see __me,_ he thought. _What__'__s __with __her?__ For __crying __out__ loud, __she__'__s __married!__ Happily __married__…__why __does __she __have __to __be__ so __damn __thrilled __to __see __me?__ If __she __would __just __not __care__…__it __would __be __so __much __easier __to __stay __away._

Watching Bella's expression and listening to Jacob's reaction, I had to agree with him. There was some inexplicable connection between them that I still didn't understand. I probably never would. I wished I could see into her thoughts and know her intentions, know her true feelings.

"They just wanted to talk," Jacob murmured. "No attack on the horizon."

"Yes. I heard most of it," I replied.

His eyes snapped from hers to mine. _We __were __a __good__ three__ miles __out. _"How?"

I shrugged. "I'm hearing you more clearly – it's a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there."

"Oh…good. I hate repeating myself." He frowned, his thoughts jumbled and slightly unsettled.

"I'd tell you to go get some sleep," Bella said, "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point."

He shook his head and turned toward the door. "One Mississippi…two Mississippi…"

_Speaking__ of__ rivers__…_ "Where's the flood, mutt?" Rosalie sneered.

"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" he asked, not bothering to turn to see her reaction. I snickered under my breath as she bristled.

"Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

_What?__ How __dare __he __speak__ to __me __like__…_

I laughed as the door clicked shut. Rosalie turned to glare at me before yelling over her shoulder. "I've already heard that one."

As I listened to Jacob's thoughts grow more distant, I was struck by his thoughts. The clothing he now had on his back were all he had left. He couldn't go home. Esme had made an offering of hospitality, but I feared Jacob's pride may prevent him from accepting. After all he and his pack mates had already given up for us, it wasn't right that they should suffer unnecessarily.

_Edward,__ please __speak __to __him_, Esme thought. _He__ needs __to __know__ that __they__'__re __welcome __to __anything __we __have. __They __should__ think__ of __our __home __as __theirs.__ It__'__s __only __right__ – __they__'__ve __sacrificed __so __much __for __us __already._

I moved to stand.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked.

"There was something I forgot to say to him."

"Let Jacob sleep – it can wait."

I shook my head. "It will only take a moment."

I hurried out the door. Jacob turned to me as I approached, a look of irritation on his tired face. "Jeez, what _now_?" he groaned.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. It was likely that he would turn down any offers of help, but I had to try. It wasn't right that they were giving so much to us, but taking nothing in return.

_What__'__s __on __your __mind, __mind__reader?_

"When you were speaking to Sam's delegates, earlier, I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest. They were concerned – "

He raised his hands to stop me. "Look, we're not dropping our guard. You don't have to believe Sam like we do. We're keeping our eyes open regardless."

"No, no Jacob." I shook my head. "Not about that. We trust your judgment. Rather, Esme was troubled by the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it."

"Hardships?"

"The _homeless_ part, particularly. She's very upset that you are all so…bereft."

"We're tough," he scoffed. "Tell her not to worry."

"She'd still like to do what she can," I pressed. "I got the impression that Leah prefers not to eat in her wolf form?"

His eyes narrowed. He appeared offended by the question, or perhaps the reminder of my intrusion into his thoughts. "And?"

"Well, we do have normal human food here, Jacob," I explained. "Keeping up appearances, and, of course, for Bella. Leah is welcome to anything she'd like. All of you are."

"I'll pass that along."

I doubted that merely relaying the message would do any good. "Leah hates us."

"So?"

"So try to pass it along in such a way as to make her consider it, if you don't mind."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll do what I can."

"And then there's the matter of clothes."

He gave himself a cursory glance. "Oh yeah. Thanks." _…__probably __not __good __manners __to __mention __how__ bad __they__ reek._

"Well, we're easily able to help out with any needs there," I continued. "Alice rarely allows us to wear the same thing twice. We've got piles of brand-new clothes that are destined for Goodwill, and I'd imagine that Leah is fairly close to Esme's size…"

"Not sure how she'll feel about bloodsucker castoffs," he scoffed. "She's not as practical as I am."

"I trust that you can present the offer in the best possible light. As well as the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And shower, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors." I felt the need to impress upon Jacob as thoroughly as I could that we were willing to offer anything available, that we felt true gratitude for all they had done for us – for me. As unconventional as the notion might be, until this crisis was over, and probably even long after, Jacob and his friends would be considered family. "Please…don't consider yourselves without the benefits of home."

He stared at me for a moment, sensing the emotion in my words. "That's, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay pretty clean, thanks."

I nodded. "If you would pass the offer on, regardless."

"Sure, sure."

"Thank you."

Just as he began to turn, I heard a deafening cry from Bella's lips. I sprinted toward the house at the sound, panicked that something had gone horribly wrong. I burst through the door. Bella was curled in on herself, her face contorted in pain as she rocked back and forth. Rosalie had her arms wrapped around her in an attempt to soothe her. Carlisle and Esme stood by nervously.

_I__ heard __a __crack. __I __think __something__'__s __broken,_ Carlisle thought.

I dropped to my knees at Bella's side, reaching up to touch her face. I felt completely helpless. Even in the short span of time where she appeared to improve, I had become complacent, lulled into a false sense of calm.

"Give me a second, Carlisle," Bella breathed.

"Bella, I heard something crack. I need to take a look."

Bella winced. "Pretty sure – it was a rib. Ow. Yep. Right here." She pointed to her left side, her face still cringing in pain.

_It__'__s __breaking__ her __bones __now._

"I need to take an X-ray. There might be splinters. We don't want it to puncture anything."

"Okay." Bella nodded.

Bella winced as Rosalie lifted her up. I reached for her, but Rosalie shot me a warning glare. "I've already got her," she hissed.

_So __Bella__'__s __stronger __now, __but __the __thing __is, __too.__ You __can__'__t __starve __one__ without __starving __the __other, __and__ healing__ works __just __the__ same. __No__ way __to __win._

Jacob was absolutely right and we should have considered the possibility earlier. Now that the fetus was receiving the blood it craved, it would grow stronger – as strong as us. I shivered as I imagined a small vampire wreaking havoc inside the body of the woman I loved.

We ran up the stairs to Carlisle's study. He brushed past me, preparing the X-ray machine as he directed Rosalie. I hovered uselessly in the doorway, warring with the need to go to Bella and the understanding that I also needed to stay out of Carlisle's way and allow him to work.

He lifted Bella's shirt to examine the injury. I bit down on my fist to keep from crying out at the sight. Her stomach was worse than before – angry black and purple splotches covering most of her ivory skin. Carlisle gingerly trailed his fingers along her ribcage with the slightest pressure and she gasped when he reached the sight of the break.

_I__ can __already __see __that __it__'__s __broken_, he thought. _But __we __need__ to __be __careful. __It __could __puncture __an__ artery, __a __lung__…_

The machine whirred to life, displaying digital images of Bella's inner workings. The thick membrane surrounding the fetus was visible on the screen, as well as a defined fracture in a rib on her lower left side.

"It's a clean break," Carlisle sighed. _Thank __heavens._ "But we need to wrap it."

Unable to stay away any longer, I crossed the room to Bella's side and reached for her hand. A light sheen of perspiration covered her face and her breaths were labored. She smiled weakly at me. "He's strong," she whispered as she lovingly stroked her belly with her other hand.

I had to suppress the growl that built in my chest. We had always been so careful with her, treating her like a delicate flower. She had no idea just how strong we could be. I wanted to try, once again, to reason with her, but I knew it would do little good.

_She__'__s__ going__ to __have__ to __sit __up __so __I __can __wrap __this __properly._

"Rosalie, would you please assist?" Carlisle asked.

I gripped both of Bella's hands in mine and kept my eyes locked with hers. Rosalie moved behind her head and carefully gripped under her arms to push her into a sitting position. Bella winced and squeezed her eyes shut at the movement.

"Bella?" I asked.

She took in several short breaths. "I'm okay," she breathed. "It's just tender."

"This may hurt a bit," Carlisle whispered sympathetically.

Bella nodded and bit her lip, waiting for Carlisle to begin. She gripped my hands tightly and squeezed her eyes shut as he began wrapping the bandage around her torso.

"Bella, I need you to exhale as much air as possible," Carlisle instructed.

She nodded and the breath rushed from her lungs in a whoosh. Carlisle worked quickly, wrapping the bandage tightly around her midsection several times. Her hands trembled as he worked and I could see her struggling not to cry out.

"Rosalie, please get some ice."

Rosalie nodded and disappeared from the room.

"In an instance like this, I would normally prescribe a strong painkiller, but due to the complications that may arise with the pregnancy, I believe a milder dose will have to do. I can administer it through the IV."

"Thank you," Bella wheezed.

I continued to hold Bella's hand, but released the other and cautiously placed my palm over her injury, hoping the coolness of my skin would alleviate some of the swelling and discomfort until Rosalie could return with the ice.

The weariness had returned to Carlisle's face as he moved around the room. He tried to shield his thoughts from me as best he could, but I caught glimpses of the trauma he had begun to anticipate that the fetus would cause until it could be delivered.

I fought to maintain my calm for Bella's sake. The urge to try reasoning with her made a resurgence, but I bit my tongue as Rosalie reappeared at her side. My hand was replaced with an ice pack and Bella shivered at the contact, but seemed relieved at the same time.

"Can we go back downstairs?" Bella asked.

"I'm sure you would be more comfortable," Carlisle agreed, "but I don't want you exerting yourself. You need to take it easy."

"I will." Bella nodded.

I carefully scooped Bella up in my arms before Rosalie could reach for her. Taking small steps, we made our way back into the living room where we were met with anxious expressions. Esme hovered close by as I lowered Bella onto the couch. I hung the bag of fluids attached to her IV and returned to her side, reaching for her hand.

"Bella, sweetheart, can I get you anything?" Esme asked.

"I'm a little hungry…and a little _thirsty_, too."

"Bella," I sighed.

She frowned, the space between her brows puckering. "What?"

"Don't you think it would be wise to space out your…_drinks_…a little more?"

She cocked her head to the side, thoroughly perplexed. "I don't understand. It's good for the baby and I don't mind it."

"But when you drink, you're making the fetus stronger. I'm afraid that a continuous supply of blood will only serve to increase its strength, like it does ours. Look at what it's already done to you." I gestured to her bandaged rib. "We don't know how much more damage it can do."

"I've had a broken rib before, Edward. It's not a big deal. I'm not going to deprive the baby of nourishment just because he might crack a rib."

"It was merely a suggestion," I sighed, finding that my reasoning was falling on deaf ears. "Please at least consider it."

"If that's what she's craving, then that's what her body needs," Rosalie chimed in.

"But what she's craving is not only helping _her_, but it's hurting her," I reasoned.

Rosalie crossed her arms in defiance. "But when Bella denies the baby what it needs, it takes the nourishment from _her._ Do you really want her to revert back to the way she was before – barely alive?"

Rosalie was right. Echoing Jacob's sentiments from earlier, there was no way to win. If we starved the fetus, we starved Bella. If she improved, so did it. I lowered my head in my hands and heaved a heavy sigh. "I know. I just wish there was a way to keep her from getting hurt."

Bella reached across and grabbed my hand. "I'll be fine."

I wanted to believe her, trust that she was strong enough to make it through this, but I just couldn't. It was cruel for fate to allow me a small inkling of hope only to rip it away again. After making a leap of progress, we were shoved back, nearly to the starting line. At least now we understood the nature of the symbiotic relationship they shared. All that was left was to formulate a plan for delivering the fetus as safely as possible.

Esme set a small plate of cheese and fruit on the arm of the chair and handed a cup to Bella. The scent of blood assaulted my senses, causing the venom to pool in my mouth, but I swallowed it down, suffering the burn as it slid down my throat. Sensing the thoughts around me, it appeared that I wasn't the only one struggling against the hunger. I had not hunted since the night before we left Brazil and I didn't know when my family had last been. I wagered that it wouldn't be long before the thirst would become more than we could bear, but with the treaty void and the wolves' wish for a fight, it would be highly dangerous for us to venture far enough from the house to obtain adequate sustenance.

My eyes fell on Jacob from across the room. He laid against the wall, curled up with his arm beneath his head, snoring loudly in his slumber. With everything that had happened in the last several days, his mind was surprisingly quiet. I was jealous of the reprieve he was afforded that had been lost to me so long ago.

While he slept, I could hear the distant thoughts of the others while they ran their route along the boundary of our property, senses keenly pricked for any signs of attack. I absently wondered if they would be willing to assist us in the hunt for food, but the idea of asking them to serve as food delivery seemed impetuous considering the significant sacrifice they had already made to keep us safe.

The sound of a straw pulling at empty air broke me from my thoughts and I turned to Bella as she handed Rosalie her now empty cup. She stretched her arms as far as they would allow and she yawned widely. I moved over, wrapping an arm around her, and she leaned her head on my shoulder. She shivered delicately, but sidled closer despite the chill of my skin.

I leaned my head to the side, resting it on top of hers. I closed my eyes, imagining we could sleep here together, wishing that, like Jacob, I could have at least a small window of escape from the workings of my own mind. For all the advantages we had as immortals, it was something as insignificant as sleep that I yearned for the most. Without the ability to sleep, there was no chance to rejuvenate my tired mind, no means of escape from the knowledge that the woman in my arms may not survive this ordeal.

Bella's breathing slowed and I curtailed my own until we were breathing in unison, the rise and fall of her chest matching my own. I kept my eyes closed, listening to the beat of her heart. I tried to block out everything else, shut out all the daunting reminders that hammered inside my head, and focus solely on the pulsing rhythm in her chest. With the denial of dreams, I created my own fortress of solitude in my mind where the only thing that mattered was a single heartbeat. It was the closest approximation I could compose of the state of dreamless sleep. And in that haven, I slept.

**A/N: Thanks everyone for your continued support. I love reading and responding to your reviews. If you review, please sign in so I can thank you and reply to any questions you might have asked. We're getting VERY close and I'm going to keep up the current pace, whether or not I finish through the birth before 11/18.**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta, Nellybear85, for never giving up on me.**


	20. Chapter 20: Déjà vu

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 20

Déjà vu

Sometime in the night, Bella began to shiver and I reluctantly distanced myself as Esme draped another quilt around her. Her soft breaths were a stark contrast to the deep snoring from Jacob who slept against the wall. Esme had fretted about the discomfort lying on the floor would cause him and had placed a pillow beneath his head. It was a wonder that he hadn't awoken.

Bella woke not long after I had moved, still shivering delicately, despite the layers of blankets, yet her cheeks were flushed. I pressed the back of my hand to her forehead and her skin felt like fire.

"Carlisle," I called.

He appeared a moment later, a concerned look on his face. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

"I think she may be running a fever."

"A fever?" Carlisle pressed his hand to her forehead and cheek. _She __does __feel __feverish. __Best __to __take __her __temperature. _He disappeared and reappeared a second later, holding a thermometer in his hands.

Bella opened her mouth obediently as Carlisle held the thermometer to her lips. "Just place it under your tongue," he instructed. A moment later, he removed it to study the results.

"99.4," he murmured to himself before looking at Bella. "It's a low–grade fever. Nothing to be terribly concerned about at this point, but we should keep a watch on it in case it goes any higher."

"Am I sick?" Bella asked. "The baby?"

"It's normal, with the hormonal changes, for pregnant women to experience a low–grade fever from time to time. Of course, the nature of your pregnancy and the unusual genetic makeup of the fetus could be causing your body to have some difficulty regulating its own temperature. And, there's always the possibility that you are indeed sick, although you're not displaying any other symptoms." _Too __many __variables, __no __way __to __be __sure__…_

"I'm sure it's nothing," I assured her, reaching out to take her hand, although the appearance of a yet another new sign of her deterioration set me on edge.

"In the meantime, why don't we go ahead and remove that IV," Carlisle suggested.

Bella nodded and he expertly removed the tiny tube from her skin, quickly replacing it with a thick layer of gauze and tape not only to stop the bleeding, but to conceal the scent as well as he could. With a house full of thirsty vampires, the last thing we needed was another temptation.

When he was finished, she shivered, pulling the blankets more tightly around her.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked.

"Some eggs would be wonderful." She smiled.

_He__'__s __probably __just __asleep. __Leah __needs __to __stop __worrying __so __much._

I turned my head toward the door just as a timid knock echoed through the thick wood. All eyes fell on me. "Seth," I explained.

Carlisle nodded and crossed the room. The door swung open and Seth stood smiling on the other side. "Hi, Dr. Cullen," he said. "I just came to see if Jacob was still here…" _I__'__d __recognize __that __snore __anywhere__…__he__'__s __here __alright._

"Welcome, Seth," Carlisle replied, moving aside. "Won't you please come in?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. _Oh __great, __now __there__'__s __two __of __them __to __stink __up __the __place._

"Thanks." Seth nodded, stepping inside the door. His gaze fell on Jacob's sleeping form and he rolled his eyes. "Should've known he'd fall asleep. He hasn't stopped for almost two days."

"Is everything all right?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, fine." He shrugged, waving his hand. "Leah's running the perimeter. She was just worried that we hadn't heard from Jake in a while and asked me to go check on him."

"How are you holding up?" I asked, seeing Seth's haggard appearance, although it didn't appear nearly as fatigued as Jacob's had been.

"Fine." He smiled. "Leah and I switched off at midnight so I could get some sleep. I would've taken over for her again if she hadn't made me come here first."

"We cannot express how grateful we are for what you all have done for us," Carlisle said.

"No thanks needed." Seth shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. "We're just doing what's right."

I stood. "Seth, are you hungry?"

_Oh __man, __I__'__m __starved, __but__… _"Well, um…" he stammered.

"I was just going to fix some breakfast for Bella," I offered. "I'd be more than happy to prepare some for you as well."

"Well, I don't know…"

"Please, Seth," Esme appeared carrying an armful of clothes, similar to what she had offered Jacob. "You must be famished. And I'd hate for all this food to go to waste."

"I insist." I smiled, turning to head into the kitchen before he could protest further.

The aroma of cinnamon was wafting from the kitchen. Esme had been baking for well over an hour now, hoping to prepare something she could offer to our warm–blooded protectors. I was relatively skilled in the kitchen, but Esme was by far the superior baker.

I made quick work, whipping up half a dozen eggs in a bowl and shredding a block of sharp cheddar. The eggs bubbled and popped as they came in contact with the searing heat of the frying pan. I listened to the quiet conversation in the living room as I worked.

Seth had noticed the striking difference between the sickly images of Bella that Jacob had shown him before and her current state, although he made no mention of it. After changing clothes, he sat beside her, his curiosity getting the better of him as he asked her questions about the pregnancy. He became concerned by her continued shivering and scooted closer, hoping that the close proximity of his body heat would help to warm her.

I flipped an omelet onto a plate and immediately began another. Esme, with a fresh cup of blood already in her hand, picked up the plate on her way toward the living room. She returned a few moments later, taking the spatula from my hand.

"The cinnamon rolls are done," she said. "I can take it from here."

"Thank you, Esme."

She plated the second omelet onto a large dish next to one of her cinnamon rolls and handed it to me. "For Seth."

I nodded and took the plate, turning back toward the living room as she began cracking more eggs for another omelet. She seemed determined to overwhelm the wolves with hospitality as though it were her life's mission.

"Wow, thanks!" Seth exclaimed as I placed the plate on his lap.

"My pleasure." I smiled. "Trust me, it's the least we could do."

He stared at the plate for a moment, his stomach grumbling. "I'm gonna take this to Leah," he said. "That is, if you don't mind making another…"

"Already started," Esme called from the kitchen. She appeared a moment later and took the plate from Seth, wrapping it securely to protect it from the elements. "Your breakfast will be hot and ready when you return."

He smiled and nodded before bounding for the door. I returned to the kitchen to assist Esme as she took another dozen eggs from the refrigerator. She must have thought she was feeding a small army with the amount of food she had begun to prepare. At this rate, we would have to replenish our stock sooner than planned and, with Sam's pack on alert, it was doubtful any of us could venture far from the house.

A few moments later, Seth returned and reclaimed his seat next to Bella. I placed a fresh plate on his lap and he nodded his thanks. I stepped around Alice who had shifted nearer to Bella upon Seth's arrival, her mind surprisingly clear given the presence of the wolves. I took my seat on the other side of Bella. She was still shivering, clutching the blankets tightly up under her chin. "Seth," I murmured, leaning forward to see around Bella. He looked up with a questioning expression on his face, his mouth too full of food to respond. "Would you mind?" I asked, nodding to Bella.

His eyes widened in understanding and he nodded, scooting closer and draping an arm around Bella's shoulders. Bella opened her mouth to protest, but decided against it when her shivering began to diminish.

The room fell into pleasant conversation. Seth brought a lightness to the room that we hadn't felt since this all began. Bella was smiling and laughing and I found myself laughing along with her.

The increasing volume of our banter must have become too loud because I could see Jacob beginning to stir from his slumber. He rolled over, rubbing his face with his palms as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

_What __time __is __it? __Close __to __sunset?_

It was apparent that he had no idea how long he had been asleep.

"About time," Rosalie sneered. "The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired."

"Rosalie!" Esme chastised under her breath.

He sat up slowly. He seemed groggy and disoriented as he looked around the room, taking in the changes that had occurred since he fell asleep.

"Hey, Jake's coming around," Seth exclaimed.

Jacob's eyes followed the sound of Seth's voice and he appeared perplexed by his presence in the room. _What __the __hell?_

"He came to find you," I explained. "And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

_Uh__–__oh...he__'__s __mad._"Yeah, Jake – I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back," Seth hastily explained. "Leah got worried. I _told_ her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang man, you can _cook_."

"Thank you," I murmured.

_That __still does__n__'__t __explain __why __he __has __his __arm __around __Bella._

"Bella got cold," I said.

_Right. _Jacob shook his head as though he were trying to scatter the unwanted thoughts. _None __of __my __business __anyway. __She __doesn__'__t __belong __to __me._

Now uncomfortable with Jacob's observation, knowing how he felt about Bella, Seth quickly removed his arm from her shoulders and continued eating.

"Leah's running patrol?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled through a mouthful of food. "She's on it. No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours."

Jacob's eyes widened. "Midnight? Wait a minute – what time is it now?"

Seth shrugged, peeking around Jacob to see the window. "Bout dawn."

_Well, __damn. __I __slept __through __the __rest __of __the __day __and __the __whole __night. _"Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really." Jacob cringed, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. "You shoulda kicked me awake."

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine, Jake. 'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all." _Except __this __food...man!_

Jacob shook his head and turned to Bella, doing a visual inventory much the same way that I did each time I saw her. "How's the rib?" he asked.

"Taped up nice and tight." She smiled. "I don't even feel it."

I bit my tongue, holding back the argument that threatened to spill forth. She was so cavalier about all this, so seemingly unconcerned, that it drove me absolutely mad. And judging by Jacob's thoughts, I wasn't the only one bothered by her offhanded remark.

He shook it off, instead choosing to change the subject rather than argue. "What's for breakfast?" he asked. "O negative or AB positive?"

Bella rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "Omelets," she replied.

"Go get some breakfast, Jake," Seth encouraged. "There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

Jacob's stomach grumbled at the mention of food. "What's Leah having for breakfast?" he asked.

Seth held up his hands. "Hey, I took food to her before I ate _anything_. She said she'd rather eat roadkill, but I bet she caves. These cinnamon rolls…"

Jacob's mouth set in a tight line. "I'll go hunt with her, then." It seemed that even though he appeared to be softening toward us, he was still reluctant to accept our hospitality. Not that I could blame him – his hatred of our kind was deeply rooted on an almost genetic level. It was in his very nature to withdraw from us.

He turned to go, but Carlisle held out a hand to stop him. "A moment, Jacob?" _Perhaps __he __can __grant __some __insight __into __our __predicament._

Jacob turned. "Yeah?"

"Speaking of hunting," Carlisle murmured. "That's going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us outside of the perimeter you've created? We don't want to take a chance with hurting any of your family – or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?"

_What __do __I __know? __Well, __I __do __know __Sam._ Jacob pondered for a moment before responding. "It's a risk," he said. "Sam's calmed down some, but I'm pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, he's not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean. But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really aren't enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out hunting parties big enough to do much damage. I'd bet he's keeping it close to home."

Carlisle nodded. _It__'__s __a __risk, __but __I __don__'__t __know __how __much __longer __we __can __wait. __We __need __to __feed __and __Bella __will __need __more __blood._

Jacob continued. "So I guess I'd say, go out together, just in case. And probably you should go in the day, 'cause we'd be expecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. You're fast – go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that there's no chance he'd send anyone that far from home."

Carlisle looked at him, skepticism tingeing his thoughts. "And leave Bella behind, unprotected?"

"What are we, chopped liver?' Jacob retorted.

Carlisle laughed, but it was short-lived. "Jacob, you can't fight against your brothers."

"I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, but if they were really coming to kill her – I would be able to stop them."

"No." Carlisle shook his head. "I didn't mean that you would be…incapable. But that it would be very wrong. I can't have that on my conscience."

"It wouldn't be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine. And I can take it."

"No, Jacob," Carlisle argued, resisting the urge to lay his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "We will make sure that our actions don't make that a necessity. We'll go three at a time. That's probably the best we can do."

Jacob looked uneasy. _That__'__s __a __bad __idea..they __would __be __too __vulnerable._ "I don't know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isn't the best strategy."

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up," Carlisle reasoned. "If Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius of safety."

_Absolutely __not!_ Nothing on this earth could move me away from Bella's side, especially at such a distance. What if something happened in my absence? What if the creature damaged her irreparably? Who would be here to help her? Jasper? Emmett? I clenched my fists as the scenarios swam through my thoughts. They would have to come up with another plan.

Both Carlisle and Jacob turned to look at me, but saw the obstinate look on my face and both decided quickly that a different course of action would be needed.

"I'm sure there are other ways, too," Carlisle added. "Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

Alice nodded. "The ones that disappear. Easy."

"Okay, then. That's settled. I'll just be on my way." Jacob gestured with his thumb toward the door. "Seth, I'll expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?"

Seth nodded. "Sure, Jake. I'll phase back soon as I'm done. Unless…" his gaze shifted to Bella. "Do you need me?"

"She's got blankets," Jacob snapped.

Bella's cheeks flushed. "I'm fine, Seth, thanks."

Esme appeared at Carlisle's side, a large covered dish in her hands. "Jacob, I know it's…unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you can't go home, and that's because of us. Please – ease some of my remorse. Take something to eat."

Jacob stared at her for a moment as she tentatively held the food out to him. It seemed that even Jacob wasn't immune to Esme's charms. She was a mother to so many of us who had lost our natural parents so long ago.

"Uh, sure, sure," he mumbled. "I guess. Maybe Leah's still hungry or something."

He took the dish, not wanting to disappoint Esme, although he had no intention of eating it. He imagined emptying the dish in the woods or burying it at the base of a tree. His eyes flitted to mine. _Don__'__t __you __say __anything __to __her! __Let __her __think __I __ate __it. __You __owe __me._

Esme beamed. "Thank you, Jacob."

"Um, thank you."

"Will you come back later, Jake?" Bella asked.

He looked down at his feet. "Uh, I don't know."

"Please?" she pleaded. "I might get cold."

"Maybe," he relented.

"Jacob?" Esme asked. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Leah. They're freshly washed – I tried to touch them as little as possible. Do you mind taking them to her?" I could hear the skepticism in her thoughts, but it was overwhelmed by a hesitant sense of hope.

"On it."

Jacob disappeared through the door, the stirring of bewildering new feelings following behind him. As fiercely as he had fought it, he was slowly beginning to see what Bella had seen in us all along. For someone who hated us so much in the past to now entertain the idea that we may become friends was quite astounding.

A little of the light seemed to leave Bella's eyes when Jacob disappeared from sight. She shivered delicately and leaned against Seth's shoulder for warmth. Esme returned to the kitchen, hopeful that she had done her part to make Jacob and Leah feel welcome. It was a wonder that siblings could be so different from one another. Seth had embraced us as friends. His enthusiasm was equaled in intensity only by his sister's distrust.

_I __wonder __why__… _"Edward?" Seth asked.

I looked up.

"If your family needs to go a long way to hunt, why not just keep going? Sam's only concerned with protecting the tribe and the town. If you leave, I don't think he would follow you. Couldn't you go to Alaska – to Tanya's?"

I shook my head. Of course I had considered the option, but at this stage, it was far too risky. "I don't think we could," I murmured, "although the thought had crossed my mind."

"Why not?"

"With the nature of Bella's condition and her new _diet_, Carlisle needs to be somewhere that he can access the necessary medical supplies, including blood. It would be difficult to relocate and maintain the level of access that he already has here. And, at this stage in the pregnancy, I'm afraid that moving Bella would be far too risky."

Seth nodded. "I get it." _I __just __wish __Sam __would __let __them __be. __They__'__re __not __hurting __anyone._

"Would you like anything else?" Esme asked, appearing beside Seth.

"No ma'am. Thank you." He rubbed his stomach appreciatively as Esme took the empty plate from his hands. "That was great."

Bella's eyes squeezed shut and she grimaced, whimpering softly.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked, moving in front of her, reaching helplessly.

She gasped again, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Bella?"

_What__'__s __going __on? __Is __it __the __baby? __Man, __she __looks __like __she__'__s __in __a __lot __of __pain._

She took several short breaths as her face slowly began to relax. I cradled her cheek in my hand. She was burning up, even warmer than before. She opened her eyes and breathed a relieved sigh, smiling weakly in a feeble attempt to reassure me that she was okay.

Then, like the calm before the storm, the silence was replaced by a resounding crack that set my teeth on edge and she cried out, clutching her side in agony.

"Carlisle!" I screamed, feeling my grip on my sanity slipping once again. For a second time in less than a day, the creature inside her had broken something. I was sure of it. How much longer could this go on? How far would she allow this to go? Until the demon inside her destroyed her completely?

Carlisle ran to Bella, quietly urging her to relax. "What happened?" he whispered.

"I heard a crack," I offered.

"Another?" Carlisle asked, his tone surprised. _Another __break? __So __soon __after __the __first?_ "Bella, I need to take a look."

Rosalie stood, but this time I was closer. I gingerly scooped Bella up in my arms and carried her up the stairs to Carlisle's study. Once again we were in this room, trying futilely to repair the damage that the fetus had caused. How many more times would this same scenario play out?

Alice and Seth hovered just inside the doorway while Carlisle repeated the process of examining Bella's injury and taking x-ray scans of her chest.

"It's a hairline fracture," Carlisle said. _Same __as __the __last. _"I will need to tape it like before."

Bella nodded and I supported her in a sitting position while Carlisle worked. I could hear the alarm in Seth's thoughts as he witnessed the damage this pregnancy was causing to Bella's body. Like Jacob, he didn't understand the mindset someone would have to be in to willingly subject themselves to such brutality.

Bella sat up fully when Carlisle was finished and straightened her clothing.

"See there...good as new," Rosalie encouraged.

"_Good __as __new!_?" I repeated, my fists clenched. "Rosalie, do you even comprehend what this _thing_ is doing to her?"

"Edward, even normal human babies have been known to crack ribs. It just means the baby is strong. Bella will be fine."

If I hadn't been concerned for Bella's safety, I would have launched myself at my sister in that moment. Bella's cavalier attitude about this whole ordeal was difficult enough to tolerate, but I had no patience for my sister's insanity. She wasn't the one who had everything to lose.

Before I could argue, Carlisle sensed the need to hold me back and grabbed my shoulder. "Bella, while we're here, why don't we check your progress today?"

Bella nodded, but looked nervously between Rosalie and myself. She lay back down on the examination table and pulled back her shirt while Carlisle ran a tape measurer across the height of her abdomen.

"Thirty centimeters," he murmured. _That__'__s __the __equivalent __of thirty __weeks...two __more __centimeters __than __yesterday. __She__'__ll __deliver __in __a __matter __of __days._

"You're growing so fast, aren't you baby," Bella crooned, rubbing circles on her belly.

I swallowed back the venom that pooled in the back of my throat, like the uncomfortable build up of acid when one feels the urge to vomit. How could she love a creature that was destroying her? The fact that she loved a demon such as myself never made much sense to me either.

"And how much longer until the damage is beyond repair?" I whispered.

Bella and Carlisle both looked at me. Rosalie hissed under her breath. Carlisle's expression was one of deep sorrow and concern. Bella's was a shadow of shock, surprised by my statement, but expecting my reaction all the same.

"What if it breaks something vital next time?" I asked. "What if it crushes your spine? What then?"

Bella's eyes softened as she reached for my hand. "Then you'll save me."

"What if I can't?"

"Esme's injuries were extensive. Wasn't her spine broken from her fall? It will be okay, Edward. We'll get through this."

"And what if your heart gives out? What then? The stress that this pregnancy is putting on your body is too much. If your heart…then I can't save you…I'll lose you…I can't…" My words were choked off by a sob deep in my chest. The looming deadline, now only days away, was only adding emphasis to the already desperate situation we found ourselves in.

I squeezed my eyes shut and my knees gave out as I fell to the floor beside the examination table. I pressed my palms to the floor, my nails creating deep grooves in the wooden floorboards. The world was spinning around me like a tilt-a-whirl and the one thing that anchored me in this existence was the same thing that was slipping away from me.

I felt small hands rubbing circles on my back. _It__'__s __okay, __Edward. __We __won__'__t __let __you __lose __her._ Alice's soothing thoughts did little to calm my nerves, but I also knew that the pain she felt was very similar to my own. Alice cared for Bella even before we met. She knew how important she would be to all our lives. But then she had her vision to guide her, to reassure me – and now there was nothing but the emptiness of the unknown stretching before us, nothing to reassure me, no certainties to hang onto.

The sounds of rustling fabric and shifting bodies got my attention and I looked up as Rosalie was carrying Bella from the room. Seth stepped aside to let Rosalie pass and he looked at me lying on the floor – broken, desperate, and empty. I felt the pity in his thoughts, the wish that there was something he could do. But there wasn't anything we _could_ do. Until the birth, we were at the mercy of the thing growing inside her.

Alice clasped my hand and pulled me up. She brushed the wrinkles from my shirt with her palms, pursing her lips while she worked. _You __really __should __change __clothes, __Edward. __How __many __days __straight __have __you __been __wearing __this __shirt?_

"I have a little more to be concerned about right now than my wardrobe, Alice," I hissed.

Alice stepped back with a hurt expression on her face.

"I'm sorry," I murmured."I didn't mean…"

"I know," she whispered. "It doesn't matter."

She began walking and I followed her from the room. Everyone had resumed their posts in the living room. We seemed to be trapped in some sort of vicious cycle of waiting and reacting. Rosalie was sitting on the floor next to Bella's feet. Seth was sitting beside Bella again, his arm draped across the back of the sofa behind her. Carlisle sat with Esme in a nearby chair, speaking softly to Bella.

"I can't care for you properly if you keep your symptoms hidden," Carlisle said. "It does little good to downplay anything that you're feeling. If you are in pain or have difficulty breathing or anything at all, you need to say something. Although a symptom may appear to be of little consequence, it could be an indicator of something far worse."

Bella nodded solemnly, although I knew that she wouldn't listen to Carlisle. Ever the martyr, Bella would rather suffer in silence than cause uncertainty or worry in others. I crossed the room and sat beside her. She reached out, taking my hand, and smiled warmly. I lifted her hand up and kissed her knuckles before letting our joined hands fall into my lap.

Emmett descended the stairs and crossed the room, plopping down into an arm chair with a heavy sigh. _Sorry, __bro. __Nothing __solid __yet_, he thought.

"How is the research progressing, Emmett?" Carlisle asked.

"Slow," he groaned, running his hand across his face. "There are some stories, myths, but we haven't found anything concrete or promising."

"What are you doing?" Seth asked.

"We're researching what we can to see what we're up against." He paused, gesturing to Bella. "We don't know if this pregnancy is the first of its kind or not. If we knew that it had happened before, we might be able to predict the outcome."

"This baby is one of a kind," Rosalie added.

"We don't know that," Carlisle disagreed, shaking his head. "There are legends of similar instances. We just don't know how much truth there is to them. We have to weed out the fact from the fiction."

"All we're finding are old legends – narratives passed down that seem to be nothing more than scary stories," Emmett said. "Jasper's still looking. We're not giving up. I just needed a break."

"Thank you, Emmett." Bella smiled.

"Anything for my little sister." _I don't want to lose her either._

Bella began pushing the blankets away from her. Her cheeks were flushed and tiny beads of sweat were forming on her brow.

"Are you too warm?" I asked.

She nodded and Seth immediately moved his arm. She shoved the blankets away and I leaned over, carefully wrapping an arm around her. She nestled into the crook of my arm and sighed, closing her eyes.

"Seth, you must be exhausted. Why don't you get some sleep," Carlisle suggested.

"Would you like to use one of the beds?" Esme asked. "You're welcome to."

Seth shook his head. "That's okay. I can just crash right here. Then at least I'm still close in case Bella gets cold again."

Esme stood and appeared a moment later with a blanket and pillow and handed them to Seth. He smiled his thanks and unfolded the blanket, draping it over himself. He buried his head in the pillow and, in a matter of minutes, he was sound asleep.

Bella yawned widely and closed her eyes, sinking further into my side. Soon after, she too was softly snoring.

_We __need __to __talk,_ Carlisle thought.

I glanced up, seeing the ideas spinning in his mind.

"We can't wait any longer, Edward. We need to make a plan."

**A/N: Only one more week - can you believe it! I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'm not going to finish as much as I hoped, but that's ok. I'm hoping to get at least one more chapter out there before 11/18. Thank you all for your encouraging words - I truly cherish them all.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for chatting with me and reading even at the wee hours of the morning.**


	21. Chapter 21: Planning

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 21

Planning

Carlisle's face was solemn. He wrung his hands nervously as all the variables of the pregnancy and delivery ran through his mind. _It's not going to be easy. We have to be ready for anything._

"So what do you suggest?" I prompted.

Carlisle looked up. "The nature of this delivery is inherently dangerous. There are risks both to Bella and the fetus. If she continues on her present schedule, she will deliver in the next few days."

A few days. I had already known that our timeline was rapidly dwindling, but to hear the words out loud was a bit jarring. Three days – four at the most. Seventy-two hours. So little time left before the possibility of losing her forever became a near certainty. I feared that no amount of preparation would deliver us a happy ending, but even against the insurmountable odds, I would do whatever it took to ensure success.

"We need to plan for the worst case scenario," Carlisle continued. "We need a plan for delivery and also a plan for saving Bella. In this case, saving her would mean changing her." He paused, his thoughts saddened by the idea. "Edward, are you prepared for that?"

I looked into my father's eyes. I saw the sadness in them – it matched the sorrow in my own. I had never wanted her to become like me. I had never wanted to steal the warmth from her skin, the beat of her heart, the purity of her soul. Even though we had agreed, that she had made me promise that she would one day become like me, the thought still broke my long-dead heart.

I nodded weakly. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"Good." Carlisle nodded and took a deep breath. "Then we need to create our plan in two stages. The first will be the delivery of the baby. The second will be to protect the life of the mother."

"Would the delivery proceed as a normal pregnancy would?" Esme asked.

Carlisle pursed his lips and shook his head. "We know very little about the nature of the child Bella's carrying, but one thing the legends have made clear is the child's strength, which we have already witnessed." He paused, glancing up at me with tired eyes. "The other thing mentioned in all of these legends is that the mothers do not survive the process."

_Oh dear…_

Kaure's thoughts flooded back to me – her recollections of her people's stories, of the legends of mothers torn apart by the demons spawned within them. The grotesque images swam before my eyes and I had to lower my head into my hands, rubbing my eyes with my palms in a vain attempt to block them out.

"Rather than allowing the baby to be born naturally – since we are unsure of what that will entail in this instance – I would highly recommend a delivery by cesarean. It's the only way to ensure that we can maintain a relatively controlled environment." …except…

"Except for the barrier surrounding the fetus," I added.

Carlisle nodded. "That does pose a problem. We don't know for certain, but judging by the information we have been able to gather about the protective barrier around the fetus, its nature is most likely similar to our own skin. And based on the legends, the baby will break through that barrier – "

"With its teeth," Emmett finished, shuddering as he said the words. _Gross!_

"Correct."

"So the only way for the thing to be delivered is for it to eat it's way out?" I asked.

"Yes."

Carlisle was right. If the monster within her was going to tear her apart on its journey into this life, then we had no choice but to take matters in our own hands. But how could we control such a creature? I knew that Rosalie and Esme and especially Bella were imagining a sweet infant that would coo and cry like any normal baby would. The only images I saw in my mind were that of a feral newborn vampire, tiny and vicious, tearing at anything it could get its teeth into.

"And if we're trying to control the situation," I continued, "the only way for us to break through the barrier and deliver it without it causing unnecessary damage to Bella is to…what…use our teeth?" I glanced around the room at my family, at their dark eyes, at the growing thirst in the back of their minds. To create an incision in Bella's abdomen to perform the cesarean would be dangerous enough, but to taunt the temptation by putting ourselves so close to the free flow of blood – I could only see this ending in pain and suffering for all involved.

"I'm afraid so," Carlisle replied. "The only thing strong enough to break through our skin is our teeth – or the wolves."

"I'm not letting a wolf's teeth get anywhere near her!" I seethed.

"No, of course not," Carlisle quickly agreed.

"Carlisle, isn't there another way?" Esme asked. _It sounds too dangerous…for both of them._

"Who's going to be the one…?" Alice began. _None of us have fed – would even Carlisle have the control necessary when we've gone so long without feeding?_

"I'll do it," he answered. "Although Edward and Rosalie both have the medical training, I have the most experience and the strongest sense of control. I can focus on the delivery if Edward can focus on the second portion of our plan."

"Saving Bella," I whispered.

Carlisle nodded.

"Carlisle, you're going to need to feed," Esme worried. _If he's responsible for something happening to her…_

"That would be ideal."

"And how can we ensure that Bella survives the process?" I pressed. "Can we take any measures to ensure the venom's success?"

"The faster the venom spreads through her bloodstream and into her heart, the quicker it will begin to work. I would recommend delivering the venom at several key points," Carlisle replied.

I imagined having to bite her repeatedly – to mar her perfect, ivory skin with my own teeth. I knew that the hunger would not be an issue, but I still felt uncertain about the level of success I could achieve. I needed a certainty – a guarantee. _What would be the absolutely quickest way to deliver the venom to her heart? Maybe…_

"Carlisle, would it be possible to inject the venom straight into her heart?" I asked.

_To do...what?_

"Well…," he hesitated, "I don't believe it's ever been done before, but it would certainly speed up the process. We would have to collect the venom and store it in something that won't degrade – certainly not plastic or glass. I do have some antique brass syringes in my study. That may work."

"So, that's what we'll do," I agreed. It was my best chance. I had to be as prepared as absolutely possible – both Bella's life and my own were hanging in the balance. I would do what I had to save her, but the thought of putting her through that pain, of watching her suffer for three days…I didn't know if I would be strong enough to witness that.

"We'll need to discuss all of this with Bella," I added.

"She'll do whatever she needs to do for the baby," Rosalie replied.

"Regardless," I growled. "She still has a choice – weren't you the one who told me that?"

_Stop being petty._ Rosalie crossed her arms and harrumphed in irritation.

"Should we wake her?" Esme asked.

I shook my head. "Not yet. Let her sleep."

-x-

Seth continued to snore when Bella woke a few hours later to a grumbling stomach. While she ate another plate of eggs and a fresh cupful of blood, Carlisle explained what was discussed while she was sleeping.

She seemed to take it all in stride, just as Rosalie said she would. She really would do anything for that creature growing inside her. I never suspected that Bella would have such a strong maternal instinct, but I guessed it shouldn't have come as any big surprise given her penchant to care for others.

"Will it hurt?" she asked. "I mean – I know it will, but…"

"It will be painful, yes," Carlisle replied. "However, I believe that if I can administer morphine in advance of the venom, it will help to ease the pain somewhat."

"Really?"

"I attempted it when Emmett was changed, but the morphine wasn't given adequate time to spread before the venom burned it off. We'll need to administer an anesthetic in preparation for the cesarean. I believe with an ample dose and sufficient time for it to spread through your bloodstream, it would help to ease the pain of the change."

"It's worth a try," I encouraged.

"Okay." She nodded. "It sounds like we're ready…or at least ready whenever _he_ is." She smiled, rubbing her belly.

I don't think anything could adequately prepare me for what was to come in the next few days. We hadn't even discussed what would be done with the monster once it was born. I had little faith that we could control it – a newborn vampire, too young to have any moral inclinations. It would thrive on blood and feed without hesitation or remorse. Sam and his pack were right to fear such a creature.

The day progressed without significant event. Contrary to Carlisle's instructions, Bella continued to hide her discomfort. Her body temperature continued to fluctuate and she would shift from leaning on my shoulder to leaning on Seth, depending on how hot or cold she felt at the time.

As the seconds ticked by, I did my best to remain calm, to savor these moments with her. Even with a plan in place, I had little faith in it. I had to prepare myself for the possibility that she would not survive. Although, I didn't believe that any amount of planning on my part could prepared me for that end. Like those who watch a loved one waste away at the hands of a terminal illness, knowing that the end is inevitable – when the end comes, the knowledge that it was coming still doesn't ease the sting of loss.

The sun had already fallen well below the horizon when Seth finally awoke. It was likely the raised voices that roused him from his slumber. With the exception of Rosalie, the rest of our family had left the room, not wishing to get into the middle of our heated discussion.

"Bella, I don't think it's a good idea," I pressed.

"I want to talk to Charlie," she insisted. "Esme said he's been calling and I can't stand for him to worry."

"Don't you think that keeping contact will only make the separation more difficult? How could you get his hopes up and then dash them when he hears word of your death?"

"Because he won't." She crossed her arms defiantly.

"What do you mean he won't? You can't keep contact with him after the change. Did you forget that your skills of observation likely come from him? He will notice that you've changed. And you won't be able to see him for several years. How will you explain your absence?"

"We'll make up some excuse. I know that I can't be around him, but I could call him. He thinks I have a rare disease, right? Well, then, we tell him that Carlisle is sending me to a special hospital somewhere on the other side of the world for treatment."

"And when you do come back here? What then?" I asked. "You do remember that the venom will change your appearance."

She pursed her lips and her brow furrowed. "I know," she breathed. "And I know I can't tell him. But…"

"But what?"

"Well, when Jacob first phased, he wasn't allowed to tell me what he was. He reminded me of a story he had told me once and he made me guess. I can do the same thing with Charlie."

"And what if he guesses correctly? What then? Do you want the Volturi to go after your father?"

"He won't," she insisted. "You yourself said that the stories about vampires aren't based on many facts. Most of them are terribly flawed. You don't fit the profile. Charlie will come up with an explanation in his mind, but it won't be the right one."

"Bella, please…"

She shook her head. "My mind is made up. I can do this. But what I can't do is listen to him worry all the time. I need to reassure him, ease his anxiety."

I looked over at Seth who was staring wide-eyed at the both of us. His thoughts were a jumbled mess – vacillating between agreement with me and understanding of her perspective as well.

"Fine," I grumbled, placing the phone in her palm. She smiled as she began dialing the familiar number and I cringed when I heard her father's voice answer.

"Bella, is that you?" he asked.

"It's me, Dad. Esme said you called. How are you?"

"Fine, but the question is how are you? How are you feeling? I hadn't heard from you – I was getting worried."

"I know, Dad. I'm sorry. I was sleeping when you called. I'm starting to feel better though – on the mend."

I could listen any longer. Bella shook her head as I stood and I could feel Seth's eyes on me as I climbed the stairs to Carlisle's study. He was busily prepping his office for the impending caesarian – wanting to be prepared at a moment's notice. He looked up at me when I let myself fall into one of the leather chairs.

_Are you okay?_

I shook my head. Nothing that had happened since we discovered the pregnancy could be remotely described as _okay_.

"She's talking to Charlie," I grumbled.

"Mm-hm," he hummed under his breath. _And you don't think she should_.

"She'll get his hopes up, Carlisle. It will only make things more difficult for him."

"It sounded like she already has a plan to deal with that."

"A ridiculous plan," I muttered.

_Granted_. "This is strange territory that we find ourselves in," Carlisle mused. "Not one of us had any choice in the matter. We were all thrust into this life without our own consent. We never had the opportunity to say goodbye to our lives, to choose how we would exit this human existence. But she does. Granted, it may be a far-fetched arrangement for her to maintain some contact with her old life, but I don't think it would be right of us to deny her at least the chance." _I wonder if her preparation will affect how well she will acclimate after the change._

I shrugged. Of course Carlisle would be able to boil down her actions to the very basic of human needs. She may be a married woman, soon to be a mother, but in many ways she was still a child – a girl who wasn't ready to let go of her father.

_Let's change the subject, shall we?_ "While you're here, would you like to prepare the syringe?" he asked.

I looked up and in his hands he held a large metal syringe. It glinted in the lamplight – surprising given its age. It was perhaps older than I was. I nodded, not knowing how many other opportunities I would have to step away from her side and, if Carlisle was already preparing the operating table in the case of preterm labor, than there was no time to waste.

He placed the cylinder in my palm. The cool metal rolled around on the surface of my hand before I gripped my fingers around it and pulled out the plunger. I held the opening to my lips, allowing the free flow of venom to pool in my mouth and slip through my lips into the small tube. Given my level of thirst, it took no time to fill the vial with the dangerous took it from me and sealed it, placing it next to the various scalpels and other instruments on the tray beside the bed.

_Good_, he thought. _It was a good idea – the syringe._

I nodded before standing to return to Bella. Her conversation with her father was nearing its end. I had tried to block it out, to ignore the reassurances she gave him, but they still rang in my ears. She was so optimistic, so sure. How could she be so sure that everything would work out? I certainly wasn't.S

eth was standing when I reentered the room. "I need to go," he said. "Jake was expecting me at dusk." _Man, he's gonna kill me! Or worse…Leah will._

"Here," Esme said as she ran into the room and placed a small bundle of sandwiches in his hands. "In case you're hungry."

"Thank you."

"Will you ask Jacob to come back?" Bella asked.

Seth turned. "Sure thing."

"Yes, please," Alice echoed. "It's so much better when one of you is here. I'm tired of hanging out in the attic like a vampire bat in the belfry."

"I would understand if he decided not to," Bella lied. "I know it's hard for him…"

"I don't think he could disappoint you," I assured her.

"He'll be here," Seth added.

With that, he turned and left, carrying the bundle of food under his arm. With no wolves present to make the murky waters of Alice's mind clear, she exiled herself to the highest floor of the house. Esme busied herself in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Bella while Rosalie handed her yet another cup of blood. It was a wonder that there was any left. I was certain the stores Carlisle had secured would be depleted very soon if they hadn't been already.

I lowered myself to the seat beside Bella. She had wrapped herself up in blankets once again, immediately feeling the chill left by Seth's absence. She gripped the cup in her hands with frozen fingers, seeking the warmth that the heated liquid provided. She took a sip before glancing over at me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" She certainly had no reason to apologize to me. If anything, it was I who should be begging forgiveness for putting her into this predicament in the first place.

"I know you're upset with me for the decisions I've made," she said, "but I couldn't leave Charlie in the dark – not completely."

"You do realize that this will make it harder on him, don't you?"

She shrugged. "I think that some contact is better than none. I think that knowing I'm safe and improving will be enough for him."

"It's dangerous. You could be putting us all at risk of exposure."

"I know," she murmured. She was silent for a moment, tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth and fingering the edges of the blanket nervously. "I just want everyone to be happy."

"And where does that leave me?" I blurted out, immediately regretting my hasty words.

Her brows pinched together. "Of course I want you to be happy. I love you. And this –" She paused, rubbing her belly. " – this is your baby too. I wanted a chance to give you something that you never thought you could have. Honestly, I didn't think I could have it either."

"But at what cost? What if I lose you?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

She closed her eyes and the corners of her eyes pinched.

"Bella? Are you in pain?"

She held up a hand and shook her head. "No," she panted. "I just need to…Rosalie?"

Rosalie appeared an instant later with a worried expression on her face. She seemed to recognize the look in Bella's eyes.

_Bathroom_.

Without words, Rosalie lifted Bella up in her arms and began walking from the room.

I raked my fingers through my hair. Bella either didn't understand or didn't care that her life was at risk. Was the thing growing inside her that important? She had tried time and again to explain it to me, but I still couldn't understand it.

Esme sat down beside me and wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders. _I'm sorry_, she thought.

"She must hate me," I grumbled, lowering my head into my hands.

"I know this is hard, but she could never hate you. She loves you too much."

"I just feel so helpless."

"You're doing the best you can," she soothed. "That's all anyone could ask."

I allowed myself a moment to wallow in my own self pity in Bella's absence. Esme remained at my side, tightly gripping my shoulders, almost as though she knew I was about to fall apart and she was trying to hold me together.

_Where's Bella? Did something happen? Oh no…_

"She's all right," I whispered, answering Jacob's question. "Or, the same, I should say."

_Oh good…he came back._

"Hello, Jacob," Esme greeted. "I'm so glad you came back."

"Me, too," Alice chorused as her lithe footsteps descended the stairs.

"Uh, hey," Jacob replied awkwardly. "Where's Bella?"

"Bathroom," Alice answered. "Mostly fluid diet, you know. Plus, the whole pregnancy thing does that to you, I hear."

"Ah."

_One leaves and another takes his place..._ "Oh, wonderful," Rosalie grumbled. "I knew I smelled something nasty."

I saw the reflection of Bella's face through Jacob's mind and the way her face lit up when she saw him. _It's so unfair,_ he thought.

"Jacob," Bella exclaimed. "You came."

"Hi, Bells."

I stood as Rosalie lay Bella down on the couch. Her face went pale and she held her breath as she sank down into the cushions. She stretched out, as her belly had become too large for her to sit up comfortably. Her heart skipped a beat and her intake of breath was shallow, as though her lungs were not inflating to their full capacity. I ran my head across her forehead. There was a light sheen of perspiration coating her skin and the low grade fever was still present. She shivered beneath my fingertips.

"Are you cold?"

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rosalie reminded her. "Don't downplay anything. It doesn't help us take care of either of you."

Bella smiled weakly, looking sheepish. "Okay, I'm a little cold. Edward, can you hand me that blanket?" She gestured to the quilt laying across the arm on the other end if the couch.

_Seriously_? "Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?" Jacob asked.

"You just walked in. After running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up for a minute. I'll probably warm up again in no time."

Jacob rolled his eyes, ignoring her and moving to sit next to her. _How is she still telling me what to do?_ he wondered. His movements were cautious. He could see how frail she had become and, like me, wondered if she would shatter at the slightest touch. He wrapped one of her frigid hands in his and placed the other on her face, doing an examination of his own. _Does she feel cooler than usual?_

"Thanks, Jake," she murmured.

"Yeah."

I felt his eyes on me for a moment before he looked back at Bella. His thoughts briefly flitted to his hunger and his stomach grumbled for emphasis.

_Watch this, Edward._ "Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen?" Alice asked from her seat behind the couch.

_You can't be serious. I do not cater to dogs_. Rosalie stared at Alice as though she had lost her mind.

_Food...from her? No way._ "Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in. I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom."

"Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality."

_Well, if that's how we're going to be - two can play at that game_. "Of course not," Rosalie agreed. _If the dog's hungry, then let him eat like one..._

I could already see an idea forming in Rosalie's mind, although it was not entirely formed.I sighed at my sister's pettiness. You would think that she would show at least an inkling of gratitude for all Jacob and the wolves had done for us. I wondered absently is she and Leah would get along, their shared animosity would at least provide them with some common ground.

"You'd tell me if it was poisoned, right?" Jacob asked, almost jokingly, but with an air of uncertainty.

"Yes," I promised.

The scent if charred meat reached my nostrils, but I hid my grimace at the odor. The scent was followed by the loud groaning of bending metal. Esme would not be pleased that Rosalie was destroying one of her mixing bowls in such a fashion.

_There, that should do it_, Rosalie thought. _If the dog wants a meal, then that's what he'll get._ The harsh, shrill sound of her fingernails scratching asking the surface if the newly fashioned dog bowl elicited a small smile as I watched her etch the word Fido into its side.

Rosalie returned a moment later, pleased with herself as she set the bowl on the floor next to Jacob. Alice snickered under her breath.

"Enjoy, mongrel."

Jacob admired her handiwork with amusement, but decided not to give her the satisfaction of getting a rise out if him. "Thanks, Blondie," he said with a smirk.

She huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?...a golden retriever."

Her self-satisfied smirk faded. "I've heard that one, too."

"I'll keep trying."

Rosalie stalked away, irritated, while Jacob began to eat. The room was silent, except for the sound if his chewing and the light hum of the television. It was fascinating to listen to the evolution of Jacob's thoughts. It seemed the more time he spent in our presence, the more acclimated he became and the less antipathy he felt. Even something like our scent, that repelled him in an instinctual level, was beginning to have less of an impact. Bella began fingering the hair at the back of his neck as he finished his meal.

"Time for a haircut, huh?" he asked.

"You're getting a little shaggy," she murmured. "Maybe..."

"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?" _My money's on Alice._

"Probably." Bella chuckled.

"No thanks." He shook his head. "I'm good for a few more weeks." _But what about her? How long...?_

He shrugged awkwardly, avoiding looking anyone in the eyes. "So...um...what's the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster?"

I had to agree with his perfunctory assessment of the unborn child, but Bella didn't appear to be amused as she reached up to lightly smack him on the back of the head.

He ignored her pitiful attempt at a reprimand. "I'm serious," he insisted. "I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here." _How long you're gonna be here. _

"I don't know," she answered. "Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimeters here when the baby is fully grown." She ran her finger over the height of her belly. "One centimeter for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimeters a day, sometimes more..."

_Two weeks to a day...flying by...fast-forward. How many days does that give her? Four?_ Jacobs face began to pale as he realized just how little time Bella had left.

"You okay?" Bella asked.

Jacob managed a weak nod, but remained silent, his mind reeling. Like me, he had little faith that Bella would survive the birth. He had tried to maintain his distance, out of respect for Bella's decision to be with me, but more so to protect his already damaged heart from breaking again. But now, knowing that her time was so limited, it made it exponentially more difficult for him to stay away.

He recalled his conversation with Seth, the notion the we could flee Forks for safety from retaliation by the pack..._intolerable...not knowing...wondering...if they were to take away one or two or three of those four days. My four days._

It was intriguing to hear that Bella's hold on his heart had only seemed to increase with time. Although his thoughts of her had troubled me in the past, now I understood him, I felt pity for him. It was cruel for his heart to cling so tightly to something that was slipping away. But it we yet another reminder that I, too, was losing her. If I had been in Jacob's shoes, I would not have wanted one second with her to be stolen from me.

A moment later, he realized that he was crying as Bella reached up to wipe away a tear from his cheek.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered.

Her words were hollow - falling on disbelieving ears. "Right," Jacob grumbled.

"I didn't think you would come," she said, ignoring his doubt. "Seth said you would, and so did Edward, but I didn't believe them."

"Why not?"

"You're not happy here. But you came anyway."

"You wanted me here."

"I know," Bella sighed. "But you didn't have to come, because it's not fair for me to want you here. I would have understood."

After a few moments of awkward silence, Bella spoke again. "Thank you for coming," she whispered.

_Why? Why am I here? It just...hurts._ "Can I ask you something?" Jacob asked.

She nodded. "Of course."

Jacob hesitated, knowing I would hear his mind, but still not wishing to embarrass himself by saying it aloud. "Why do you want me here?" he asked. "Seth could keep you warm, and he's probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when I walk in the door, you smile like I'm your favorite person in the world."

"You're one of them."

"That sucks, you know," he grumbled.

I could sympathize with Jacob. Before I knew with any certainty that Bella had chosen me, I felt much the same when she spent time with Jacob - to love her from a distance, to be a part of her life, but be forced to share her with another.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Sorry."

"Why, though? You didn't answer that."

I listened for Bella's reply. I had been wondering to myself why she wanted Jacob to be here. I knew that he was her close friend, but she must have known that she was hurting him.

"It feels...complete when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together. I mean, I guess that's what it's like - I've never had a big family before now. It's nice...but it's just not whole unless you're here."

"I'll never be a part of your family, Bella." _I could have been._

"You've always been a part of my family," she disagreed.

"That's a crap answer," he spat, suddenly angry, not that I could blame him.

"What's a good one?"

He snorted. "How about, 'Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain."

She recoiled. "You'd like that better?" she whispered.

"It's easier, a least. I could wrap my head around it. I could deal with it."

"We got off track, Jake. Out of balance. You're supposed to be part of my life - I can feel that, and so can you...but not like this. We did something wrong. No. I did. I did something wrong, and we got off track..."

Her voice trailed off and, a moment later, became a quiet snore. I felt sorry for Jacob, for the pain he endured, watching his best friend marry another. She said they had gotten off track and I knew why. It wasn't her fault. It was mine.

One fateful mistake - possibly one of the worst mistakes in my century in this life - was leaving. If I had never left, Bella and Jacob would likely not have grown as close as they are now. It was my action that forced them together. So many events were set in motion by that one decision. In hindsight, I knew that I had overreacted, that I should have listened to the advise of my family. And because of my rash decision to leave, others were continuing to pay the price. Like a traveler through time crushing a butterfly underfoot, I had effectively created the ripple that had become a tidal wave in so many lives.

**A/N: Thank you so much for continuing to support me and this story. This is the last chapter I will post before the movie. I can't believe it's already here! I hope everyone that's going has a blast and no worries, I'm going to keep on writing...movie or not.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for making me laugh when sometimes I wanna cry.**


	22. Chapter 22: Miracle

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

**A/N: No, this is not an April Fool's joke – I REALLY did update Beyond Dusk!**

Chapter 22

Miracle

Jacob stared a moment at the now sleeping Bella, her words still stinging.

"She's exhausted," I offered. "It's been a long day. A hard day. I think she would have gone to sleep earlier, but she was waiting for you."

"Seth said it broke another of her ribs," he said, his voice deadened, as though the news were nothing more than what he expected.

"Yes," I sighed. "It's making it hard for her to breathe."

"Great."

I shoved my hands in my pockets, suddenly feeling strangely awkward. "Let me know when she gets hot again."

"Yeah," Jacob mumbled, not bothering to look up, his focus instead on the goose bumps that ran the length of Bella's arm. Noting his thoughts, I picked up one of the blankets Esme had set on the arm of the couch and draped it over her.

_Well, the mind reading thing saves time, at least,_ Jacob thought.

I crossed the room to the window, looking out into the quiet wilderness, its serenity juxtaposing the torment that roiled within me.

Jacob's thoughts quickly turned to Charlie. Seth must have told him of the conversation Bella had with her father and her intentions to maintain contact, even after her change. It seemed that he and I shared the same optimism for the conclusion to this pregnancy – and the same anger over the unnecessary pain her plan would cause. _What a mess!_

"Yes." I nodded. "It's not a good idea."

"Then why?" _She's only making it worse._

"She can't bear his anxiety."

"So it's better –"

"No." I shook my head sadly. "It's _not_ better. But I'm not going to force her to do anything that makes her unhappy now. Whatever happens, this makes her feel better. I'll deal with the rest afterward."

_It's not right. She wouldn't…she must have some other plan._

"She's very sure she's going to live," I offered.

"But not human," he countered.

"No, not human. But she hopes to see Charlie again, anyway."

_Oh, this just gets better and better… _"See. Charlie," he spat the words through his teeth. "Afterwards. See Charlie when she's all sparkly white with the bright red eyes. I'm not a bloodsucker, so maybe I'm missing something, but _Charlie_ seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal."

I sighed, Jacob's exasperation echoing my own. "She knows she won't be able to be near him for at least a year. She thinks she can stall. Tell Charlie she has to go to a special hospital on the other side of the world. Keep in contact through phone calls…"

"That's insane."

"Yes," I agreed.

"Charlie's not stupid. Even if she doesn't kill him, he's going to notice a difference."

"She's sort of banking on that."

He stared at me as though I had lost my mind. He wouldn't be very far off base.

"She wouldn't be aging, of course, so that would set a time limit, even if Charlie accepted whatever excuse she comes up with for the changes. Do you remember when you tried to tell her about your transformation? How you made her guess?"

"She told you about that?"

"Yes." I nodded. "She was explaining her…idea. You see, she's not allowed to tell Charlie the truth – it would be very dangerous for him. But he's a smart, practical man. She thinks he'll come up with his own explanation. She assumes he'll get it wrong. After all, we hardly adhere to vampire canon. He'll make some wrong assumption about us, like she did in the beginning, and we'll go along with it. She thinks she'll be able to see him…from time to time."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Insane," he mumbled under his breath.

"Yes."

_He's weak to let her have her way like this, _he thought.He tumbled the idea over and over in his mind in an attempt to understand my reasoning. It didn't take long at all for him to determine that I was merely making her happy, believing that she wouldn't live long enough to execute her plans.

"I'll deal with whatever comes," I whispered. "I won't cause her pain now."

Jacob let out a slow breath. "Four days?" he asked.

"Approximately."

"Then what?"

I didn't know where he was going with this. "What do you mean, exactly?"

His thoughts dwelled on what little he had gleaned about the pregnancy and the creature growing within her. _How does that work? How does it get out?_

"From what little research we've been able to do, it would appear the creatures use their own teeth to escape the womb."

Jacob swallowed loudly. "Research?"

"That's why you haven't seen Jasper and Emmett around. That's what Carlisle is doing now. Trying to decipher ancient stories and myths, as much as we can with what we have to work with here, looking for anything that might help us predict the creature's behavior."

_Stories? If there are myths, then…_

"Then is this thing not the first of its kind?" I finished. "Maybe. It's all very sketchy. The myths could easily be the products of fear and imagination. Though – your myths are true, are they not? Perhaps these are, too. They do seem to be localized, linked…"

_But…_ "How did you find…?"

"There was a woman we encountered in South America. She'd been raised in the traditions of her people. She'd heard warnings about such creatures, old stories that had been passed down."

Jacob's eyes grew wide and I could hear the fear in his voice. "What were the warnings?"

Kaure's memories flooded back, giving me a fresh glimpse of the gore her imagination evoked by the telling of those stories. I briefly squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the images away. "That the creature must be killed immediately. Before it could gain too much strength."

_Just like Sam thought. But was he right?_

I shrugged. "Of course, their legends say the same of us. That we must be destroyed. That we are soulless murderers."

_Two for two._

I laughed at the sarcasm in Jacob's thoughts, irritated with myself for hoping that he would think of us as anything other than monsters. Of course, why would he bother to give credence to the notion when I, myself, felt much the same? No matter how we tried to overcome our nature, it would never change what we are. Bella groaned in her sleep, as though for emphasis.

"What did their stories say about the…mothers?" Jacob asked.

The emotions I had been struggling to keep at bay flooded forth at his words. Images from Kaure's memories, from what research we had been able to gather, and from my own nightmarish daydreams overwhelmed me and I had to squeeze my eyes shut, leaning against the glass façade for support before my feet could give out.

"Of course there were no survivors," Rosalie answered, her voice cold and detached. "Giving birth in the middle of a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face to drive out the evil spirits was never the safest method. Even the normal births went badly half the time. None of them had what this baby has – caregivers with an idea of what the baby needs, who try to meet those needs. A doctor with a totally unique knowledge of vampire nature. A plan in place to deliver the baby as safely as possible. Venom that will repair anything that goes wrong. The baby will be fine. And those other mothers would probably have survived if they'd had that – if they even existed in the first place. Something I'm not convinced of."

With each syllable, my anger built. My sorrow turned to rage as I listened to my sister so callously explain away the dangers as though they were inconsequential, as though the pain and danger was worth the potential sacrifice of Bella's life. For what? To bring another monster into the world, one that we couldn't possibly conceive of controlling, and one that would likely expose us all. It wouldn't be the first time, but I found myself wishing that the Volturi had done away with me back in Italy when I had requested they end my existence. So much pain and suffering could have been avoided if they had just granted my single appeal. What my sister failed to see was not just the loss of Bella, but the potential death of us all at the hands of Vampire law.

_The baby? Is that all that matters? How could she…_

I could feel Jacob's eyes on me as I spun around in a crouch, ready to charge myself at Rosalie.

_Allow me._ I watched with some manner of curiosity as Jacob lifted the bowl Rosalie had to carefully crafted and threw it right into the back of her head, creating a satisfying _clang_ as it flattened against her skull and ricocheted across the room.

"Dumb blonde," Jacob muttered under his breath.

Rosalie turned to face Jacob, the fury on her face bordering on comical. "You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair," she seethed.

I found myself smiling as Jacob burst into laughter and Alice followed shortly behind. Emmett appeared at the top of the stairs, frowning slightly when he took in the scene below, but fighting back a chuckle as well.

In all the commotion, Bella began to stir and I cringed as she slowly opened her eyes, wincing as she awoke to the ever-present discomfort.

"What's so funny?" she mumbled.

Jacob reigned in his laughter long enough to reply. "I got food in her hair."

"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie sneered.

"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," he retorted. "Just blow in her ear."

"Get some new jokes," she snapped. Luckily her angry reply drowned out the quiet laughter that Emmett was so desperately trying to hold in.

"C'mon, Jake," Bella grumbled. "Leave Rose alo –" Her speech was halted by a sudden gasp for air. Her face contorted in a grimace of pain as her back arched upward. I crossed the room and threw back the blanket, unsure if I was prepared for what would lay beneath the folds of fabric.

"He's just…stretching," she managed before clenching her teeth together.

I couldn't ignore the unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach that there was something much worse going on than just _stretching_. I placed my hands on either side of her face, hoping my touch would sooth her.

"Carlisle?" I called.

He appeared at my side, the concern on his face matching my own. "Right here."

"Okay," Bella sighed. "Think it's over." She managed a tight smile that looked more like a grimace as she gingerly patter her swollen belly. "Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big."

_It won't be much longer_, Carlisle thought. _I'm concerned about the internal damage that the fetus could inadvertently cause if we continue to wait for labor to begin naturally._

My eyes tightened as I glanced between Carlisle and Rosalie, knowing full well that she would fight ardently against any attempt to induce labor.

_How can she talk about it like that? Makes me wish I could throw something at Bella too._

My eyes met with Jacob's for a fraction of a second, both in warning and in agreement. It seemed that even something as brash as that would have little effect on Bella's resolve.

"You know, he reminds me of you, Jake," she whispered.

"Do _not_ compare me to that thing!" he spat.

She shook her head slightly. "I just meant your growth spurt," she explained. "You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast."

I could hear the turmoil in Jacob's mind as he mulled over her words, but my focus was on her. We breathed a collective sigh of relief when the pain appeared to subside and she eased herself back into the cushions.

_It is an intriguing comparison,_ Carlisle mused. _I wonder if there are more similarities than we realize, if the knowledge we have of the wolves' physiology – of their genetics – could help us to better understand what we're dealing with. _"Hmm…"

Jacob's train of thought was broken and he turned to Carlisle. "What?"

"You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob. About his chromosomes."

"What of it?" Jacob asked, seeming confused.

"Well, taking your similarities into consideration –"

Jacob bolted upright. "Similari_ties_?" _There's more than one?_

Carlisle raised a hand in defense. "The accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice cannot see either of you. Well, I wonder if that means that we have an answer. If the similarities are gene-deep."

Carlisle's musings continued. _If a human has twenty-three pairs of chromosomes and we have twenty-five pairs, then it stands to reason that, like Jacob, the fetus would have…_

"Twenty-four pairs," I finished.

"You don't know that," Jacob argued.

"No," Carlisle agreed. "But it's interesting to speculate."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Just _fascinating_."

-x-

With much relief, the evening passed without incident. Bella slumbered quietly with only the occasional hint of distress in her breathing. Jacob didn't sleep quite as soundly – even in his dreams, he was a focused protector, formulating a plan to lead Carlisle to the life-saving blood we would need for what we hoped would be a safe delivery.

Shortly before sunrise, Bella's face began to flush and a light perspiration broke out across her brow. I placed my palm against her forehead and felt the fever rushing into my cool skin. Careful not to wake her, I lightly jostled Jacob awake as I eased myself next to her. He yawned widely, stretching his arms above his head before rising from the couch.

_Might as well get to work_, he thought.

"Thank you," I whispered, acknowledging that I had seen Jacob's plans in his mind. "If the route is clear, they'll go today."

Jacob nodded. "I'll let you know."

He disappeared into the darkness; my hopes going with him that he would be successful in his plans.

Carlisle appeared and sat in the chair across the room. He pinched his brow before rubbing his thumb and index finger over his weary eyes. Although we could not physically tire, it was evident that the situation we found ourselves in had drained us all emotionally. He looked up at me with pitch black eyes, yet even with the hunger so apparent, it remained an inconsequential thought in his mind.

"You need to feed," I whispered.

He nodded tiredly. _And we need to replenish our stores for Bella. We won't be able to wait much longer._

"Jacob has a plan," I offered. "They're running a perimeter as we speak, determining the presence Sam's pack has or has not maintained around the territory. If he believes you can exit safely, he will let us know."

Carlisle nodded, a weak smile curving the corners of his mouth. "That's good." _Today would be best…we don't want to be caught unprepared._

I feared that no amount of planning would adequately prepare us for the unknown we were preparing to venture into. I leaned my chin against the top of Bella's head and closed my eyes, selfishly relishing in the warmth that would soon disappear. There was nothing more I could do but wait and the passage of time seemed to tick by at an agonizingly slow pace, yet flew by much too quickly. We were at the mercy of the creature growing within my love and there was nothing we could do, or nothing we would be allowed to do. My own impotence continued to eat away at me.

The evening gave way to morning as the sunlight gradually climbed over the mountains, bathing everything in its amber glow. Carlisle had returned to his study, continuing what seemed to be fruitless research. The rest of my siblings, with the exception of Rosalie, busied themselves as best they could. Emmett aided Carlisle with his research. Jasper had taken a break from their searching to console Alice, who was increasingly agitated by her incapacity to see Bella's future. Esme hummed quietly to herself as she prepared breakfast in anticipation of Bella's waking.

I gently ran my finger across the length of Bella's arm, tracing humanly indiscernible patterns on the surface of her skin. A delicate shudder rippled through her and I lifted my hand seconds before she sucked in a desperate gasp of air. Her eyes flew open and she clutched her belly, biting down on her lip so hard that it turned white from lack of blood flow.

"Bella, what is it?" I asked. "Bella…" My eyes hurriedly scanned her body for injury, for evidence of trauma, but none was visible, save for the ever present patchwork of bruises along her abdomen. Any damage at this stage would likely be internal.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her chin pressed to her chest as she struggled to cope with the pain. Then, without warning…_crack. _Her lips parted and a scream echoed through the house.

"Carlisle!" I yelled, panic surging through me. "Carlisle!"

Carlisle appeared, immediately beginning assessment of Bella's state. _An internal trauma? Another break? _

"I heard a crack, Carlisle."

"I didn't hear a thing," countered Rosalie.

I spun around, staring at my sister. "If I say I heard a crack, _I heard a crack_!" I seethed.

_Hearing things now? You're starting to lose it._

Ignoring Rosalie, I scooped Bella up in my arms and bounded up the stairs to Carlisle's study. Alice flattened herself against the wall as we breezed by her. I laid Bella gently on the examination table as Carlisle readied the x-ray machine. She seemed to be breathing easier, but her teeth were still clenched as though she were trying to keep from crying out.

Carlisle stepped beside the table and gingerly pressed along Bella's ribcage and abdomen, testing for the site of the break. She winced as his fingers moved along her already fractured ribs, but her face went pale when he reached her lower abdomen.

"It could be her pelvis," Carlisle murmured. "We'll need the x-ray to be sure."

"It wasn't a break," Rosalie insisted from across the room.

I didn't even bother to look at her, instead maintaining my watchful eye on Bella.

"That's enough, Rosalie," Carlisle reprimanded.

The machine whirred to life and Carlisle positioned it over her lower abdomen, preparing to take the images that would determine if indeed her pelvis was broken. And if it was…what then? Would she finally allow us to induce labor? Would she wait until it crushed her spine? The scenarios flew through my mind and I had to release Bella's hand for fear of crushing it.

The images glowed on the monitor and I watched Carlisle's mind as he examined them. _There doesn't appear to be a fracture. The fetus could have been pressing on a kidney or putting pressure on the pelvic bone without actually causing breakage._

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"With certainty." He nodded, patting my shoulder reassuringly. "I don't see any breaks."

"See, I _told_ you I didn't hear a crack," Rosalie scoffed. "You need your ears checked, Edward."

Carlisle looked warily between the two of us and Emmett appeared in the door, clearly prepared for a physical confrontation. Esme breezed past him with a cup in hand.

"Here you go, Sweetheart," she soothed, handing the cup to Bella.

"Thank you," Bella smiled, taking a long sip of the red liquid and sighing with relief.

_It's almost gone,_ Esme thought, looking at both me and Carlisle. _We need to go today._

I could hear Jacob's thoughts from the floor below. I prayed that he had come with good news.

"Take me back down?" Bella asked.

I wanted to protest, but had little strength left to argue and if staying away from the life-saving equipment made her feel better, then who was I to deny her. I carefully lifted Bella up in my arms and began carrying her back downstairs, brushing past Rosalie in my exit from the room.

Jacob stood with Alice at the base of the stairs. Their eyes met mine as we began to descend.

"Jake," Bella whispered.

I gently placed her on the couch and sunk down to the floor beside her. Rosalie filed in behind me, sitting a safe distance away.

"Carlisle, we went halfway to Seattle," Jacob began. "There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."

"Thank you, Jacob. This is good timing. There's much that we need." _Both for Bella and ourselves._

Jacob nodded. "Honestly, I think you're safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push."

"If you think so," Carlisle agreed. "Alice, Esme, Jasper, and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa –"

"Not a chance," Rosalie cut him off. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt," Carlisle encouraged.

"I'll hunt when _he_ does," she hissed, jutting her chin in my direction.

Hearing the word _hunt_, both Emmett and Jasper appeared, eager to have the opportunity to sate their thirst. They flew to the back door where they were joined by Alice and Esme.

"Thank you," Carlisle said, placing his hand on Jacob's arm. I was surprised when Jacob didn't flinch. Then Carlisle disappeared, following the others for the hunt. It wasn't lost on me that now would be the perfect opportunity to make a move. Rosalie had no Emmett to protect her now. Jacob and I could easily subdue her…but Bella would never forgive me if I did.

Jacob walked across the room, stretching out in the chair between Bella and Rosalie.

"Ew," Rosalie complained. "Someone put the dog out."

Jacob chuckled to himself. "Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

"Well?" he prodded when she didn't answer. "Do you know the punch line or not?"

She still refused to respond.

"Has she heard it?" he asked me.

"No," I mumbled. I would have heard the answer in her mind if she had.

"Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker – a blonde's brain cells die _alone_."

There was silence for several beats before Rosalie opened her mouth. "I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that."

Jacob chuckled. "Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that."

"Enough, Jacob," Bella interjected.

_Guess yesterday's good mood is long gone. _"You want me to take off?" he offered.

"No! Of course not."

As much as I appreciated everything Jacob had done for us, the old embers of competition still smoldered within me. No matter what we did or how we lived our lives, it was apparent that Bella would never be willing to let him go. I wondered if she understood how unfair that was, both to me and more so to him.

"You look tired," she observed.

"Dead beat," Jacob grumbled.

"_I'd_ like to beat you dead," Rosalie muttered under her breath.

Uncomfortable silence enveloped the room until it was replaced by the loud suctioning as Bella emptied her cup. "Rosalie?" she asked. "Would you mind…?"

Before Bella could finish her sentence, Rosalie had taken the empty cup and disappeared up the stairs for another.

_Might as well take a nap_, Jacob thought.

The room fell into silence once more. I could hear the sound of liquid being poured on the floor above me, the sound of two beating hearts and two sets of lungs and…

"Did you say something?" I asked, turning to Bella.

She stared back at me with a curious expression. Was it possible? Had I heard her? It was unlike the thoughts of the others that are a string of words and emotions, this was more like the impression I felt when Jasper projected his ability, saturating the room with emotion. But Jasper was gone.

"Me?" Bella asked. "I didn't say anything."

But there it was again, the undeniable feeling of contentment emanating from Bella. Had something changed? How was it that I could now hear her, but hear merely her feelings and not her thoughts? I leaned up, staring at her face, trying to connect the feelings I could sense and the expression in her eyes.

"What are you thinking about right now?"

She stared at me for several seconds. "Nothing. What's going on?"

"What were you thinking about a minute ago?"

"Just…Esme's island. And feathers." She blushed. The sensation was still there, but the feelings I was sensing didn't seem to connect to Bella's emotional state. I should hear confusion, embarrassment, but all I could feel was an overwhelming sense of contentment. _Could it be…_

"Say something else," I whispered, leaning closer to Bella's swollen abdomen.

"Like what? Edward, what's going on?"

Contentment. Affection. Happiness. Could it be the fetus that I was hearing? The thoughts were not formed like those I had become accustomed to. They were emotions rather than words. And the emotions seemed to grow stronger with the sound of Bella's voice. Was it possible that I had been wrong all along about the thing growing inside of her?

My hands quivered as I reached out, gently placing them on her abdomen. Her eyes widened at the gesture and I could hear Jacob's surprised thoughts as well. _Amazing._

"The f –" I stopped myself. This wasn't merely a creature, wasn't merely a fetus. The being inside of her had feelings and emotions far superior to what I would expect from the demon I believed to be growing inside of her. "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice," I whispered.

"_Holy crow, you can hear him!_" Bella shouted.

The feelings of contentment quickly shifted to fright and Bella winced as the baby jostled within her. I moved my hand, rubbing her belly in slow circles.

"Shh," I whispered. "You startled it…him."

Her eyes widened and I could see the shock in her expression at this new revelation. "Sorry, baby," she soothed.

I tilted my head toward her belly, leaning my ear closer. I tried to recall if I had ever heard this tenor of thought before, but had ignored it. I never imagined that I could hear the thoughts of the thing growing within her, but even more than that, I never dreamed that the thoughts would be like this. Blood, death, destruction…that was its mantra. _Or so I thought._ But no…love, contentment, adoration. If I wasn't hearing it for myself, I never would have believed it.

"What's he thinking now?" Bella asked.

"It…he or she, is…he's happy."

Tears welled in Bella's eyes and tricked down her cheeks as she smiled at me. I couldn't believe it. How had I been so wrong? I thought that it was a demon, a monster, but the more I could hear of its thoughts, the more I came to understand that it was a being like us with feelings and emotions…capable of so much more than mere devastation.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," she crooned. "How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."

"What did you call him?" I asked.

Her cheeks stained crimson. "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want…well, you know."

She was right. I had been so bent on destroying the abomination that I never conceived of caring for it, let alone naming it. "EJ?"

"Your father's name was Edward, too," she explained.

"Yes, it was." I nodded. The thoughts emanating from her belly altered and I found myself startled. "What – hmm."

"What?"

"He likes my voice, too."

"Of course he does." She beamed. "You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"

"Do you have a backup plan?" Rosalie interjected. "What if he's a she?"

"I kicked a few things around. Playing with Renée and Esme. I was thinking…Ruh-_nez_-may."

"Ruhnezmay?"

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e. Too weird?"

Rosalie shook her head. "No, I like it. It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so_ that_ fits."

"I still think he's an Edward." Bella smiled, rubbing my hand that still rested on her belly.

As Bella spoke, I could feel the emotion emanating from her belly swell until it was an overwhelming and undeniable sense of adoration and love. The thing inside her, the…_baby_…loved her. And, for whatever reason unknown to me, it recognized my voice and felt an attachment to me as well. I could feel the ice that had built up around my heart begin to melt away. The fear of the unknown began to disappear and, for the first time, I felt myself become eager to meet the child growing inside her.

Realization dawned on me that what we had done on Isle Esme, the death I was so sure I had doomed her to, was nothing like what I had thought. We had done the impossible. Bella and I had created life, created a life out of love. And that made me something I never, in my hundred years, thought I could be…a father.

"What?" Bella asked, breaking my concentration. "What's he thinking now?"

I couldn't help myself. I felt the need to be as close as possible, to feel even a fraction of what Bella had felt, to attain the connection she had from the moment we discovered this _miracle._ I pressed my ear to her belly, feeling the warmth of her skin against my cheek and sensing the movements within.

"He loves you," I whispered, still amazed by this discovery. "He absolutely _adores_ you."

I heard Bella gasp before she laid her hand against my head. I had been so wrong…so absolutely wrong. Something that could love Bella as unconditionally as this child does, whose love could only rival my own – how could something capable of such emotion be evil? For all the time I spent hating myself and hating him, I couldn't conceive of harming him now. He was a part of me, a part of Bella. _A miracle._

**A/N: If you read this chapter, I have to thank you for not giving up on me or this story. **

**I have to thank everyone who checked up on me the past few months. I appreciated all your notes and concerns. I can't apologize enough for the long hiatus I took from this story. It was unintentional. It began with the holidays that kept me busy and snowballed from there with responsibilities at work and home taking up most of my time. For those who follow me on Twitter, you probably know that I have a custom painting business that I do in my spare time. I had quite a bit of traffic in December and January with that and any free time for writing I would have had was taken up by painting. If you're interested, check me out on Etsy – my shop is called CustomChucks.**

**With that said, when I did have time to write, I found myself in a bit of a rut and had difficulty getting back into the proper mindset to write Edward. After quite a bit of floundering, I can thank my beta, Nellybear85, and my writing partner, misticbutterfly, for helping me get back on track. Thanks ladies!**


	23. Chapter 23: Time

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 23

Time

A sudden movement from the corner of my eye broke my focus and I turned to see Jacob standing just feet away, his cells quivering with the urge to phase. His mind was a tortured mess of confusion and pain, unable to cope with this new discovery, with the thought that he was losing his only ally in the effort to save Bella.

He fought to hide his grimace as his eyes flickered between Bella, myself, and the door. More than the urge to protect my family, I felt the responsibility of relieving Jacob from his duties here, of allowing him to escape what was so clearly painful for him to witness.

I moved across the room to the end table and opened it, grabbing the first keys that caught my eye. I tossed the keys to the Vanquish to Jacob and he caught them easily.

"Go, Jacob. Get away from here."

He hesitated for a moment and then stared at the keys in his hand. Several beats passed before he seemed to make the connection in his mind. Then, before another second had passed, he disappeared from the room.

"Where did he…?" Bella began.

I knelt down beside her again, laying one hand on her stomach and reaching up with the other to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "He needed to get away," I whispered. "He'll be back. He just needed some time."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong."

"It's my fault that I love you both, that I need you both in my life. It's just not fair – to you or to him."

"And we both choose to be here because we care about you. That's the only thing that matters."

She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded, placing her hand over mine. I lowered my gaze to our hands. With the need to be concerned over Jacob's feelings temporarily relieved, I once again found myself in awe of our discovery. I was fascinated by the baby's stream of thought – his ability to emotionally respond to the external stimulus. Even now, he seemed curious about Jacob's departure, hearing the tension in my voice and Bella's. I found myself questioning his capabilities, whether his hearing would be as acute as mine.

My mind began working at a rapid pace, thinking through our conversation with Carlisle on genetics. Until the moment I heard the child's thoughts, I couldn't bring myself to believe it could be anything other than a monster, but now everything I held true was being brought into question. This child wasn't just a part of me; it was a part of Bella as well. I began to ponder the traits he might possess, whether he would appear human or vampire, or perhaps a mixture of the two. Never believing that our two species could produce viable offspring, I never imagined what the joining of our two genetic lines would create.

Based on the thoughts emanating from the womb, even at this stage, he seemed to be functioning at a higher cognitive level than most human offspring of his age, already capable of understanding an emotion such as love. This child was clearly and understandably unique.

The sound of thumping paws broke my train of thought. I turned my head to see Leah trotting toward the house. "I'll just be a moment," I said, lifting Bella's hand to my lips before turning toward the door.

Leah stood at the bottom of the stairs, her nose wrinkled against the unpleasant odor. _What happened? Where did Jacob go?_

"He just needed some time to himself, to sort out his thoughts," I explained.

_Sort out his thoughts? About what?_

"We discovered that I can hear the baby's thoughts. It's unlike anything I've heard before and nothing like what I expected. It changes everything. I don't think Jacob was prepared for this possibility."

The hackles rose along her back. _Prepared for what possibility? _

"The possibility that everything will work out – better than we could have imagined. That what is growing inside Bella is not a monster, but a baby already capable of love. With this new understanding of the baby's cognitive abilities, it's probable that we may be able to communicate at least on some level. He clearly loves Bella and, I would wager, wouldn't want to hurt her." I paused, overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events. "Until the moment I heard his thoughts, I never dreamed it would be possible – that she could deliver safely, that we could be a family…"

_Family…and where does that leave Jacob? Same place he always is…outside looking in. _

"Leah, she's my wife and Jacob's friend. Surely, he understands…"

_ That's it_, she huffed. Leah's body began to shiver and shrink until, only moments later, she was standing in her human form. She scowled as she started toward the house, her eyes burning with determination. The rapid change was so shocking and so utterly out of character that I didn't move to stop her as she strolled past me and into the house. I quickly followed behind, passing her to stand by Bella.

"Who do you think you are?" she demanded, her fists clenched as she stared at Bella.

"Wha– ?" Bella stammered.

"Is this _fun_ for you? Treating Jacob the way you do. Do you enjoy seeing him in pain?" she sneered.

"Of course not," Bella insisted, clearly thrown off guard by Leah's accusations.

Rosalie moved beside Bella in a protective stance. _Back off, dog._

_Could have fooled me._ "I'll never understand it, but Jacob loves you. He loves you more than life itself. And how do you repay him? You throw it in his face!" she seethed. "He's been _nothing_ but good to you, done nothing but do _everything_ in his power to keep you safe, keep you _alive_. He left his pack for you! He would have done anything for you. Why do you keep putting him through this?"

Bella's mouth gaped as she stared at Leah, her eyes flickering briefly to me. "But I…"

"I don't want to hear your excuses," Leah cut her off, throwing her hand in the air. "Why can't you just let him go? Can't you see that all you're doing is hurting him? He can't be your friend, Bella. You haven't been friends since _this_ bloodsucker left you in the woods," she spat, angrily pointing her finger at me.

"Leah…" I warned, taking a step closer.

"All he ever did was love you," she continued, ignoring me. "And you couldn't even be bothered to care."

"I do care," Bella insisted, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. "I love Jacob. He's my best friend."

Leah shook her head, crossing her arms. "You sure have a funny way of showing it."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Rosalie growled, edging closer to Leah.

Leah glared at her, but maintained her stance. The thoughts in her mind were raging, anger engulfing her every molecule. This was more than her being protective of Jacob – she was identifying with him. Something about the relationship we all shared struck a chord that reminded her all too well of the way Sam had left her, of the way she was forced to endure hearing and witnessing his feelings for her cousin with no chance of escape. All those pent up feelings were boiling over and Bella was receiving the brunt of her rage and resentment.

"You know, you've always been so willing to die for these leeches, maybe Jake should have just let you," she sneered, her lip curling in unnatural satisfaction as she released the words she had never dared to say aloud before.

"Leah, that's enough," I reached out, gripping her by the elbow and turning for the door.

She jerked her arm away, narrowing her eyes at me. "Don't touch me!" she seethed.

"I'm sorry," Bella choked as tears began to fall.

I stood, quaking with anger, one hand clenched tightly in a fist and the other pointed at the door. "You need to go," I growled. "Now!"

"What's going on?" Seth asked as he jogged through the door. His eyes quickly surveyed the scene and it was easily apparent what had transpired. _Oh no…_ "Leah, let's go."

Leah was continuing to stare me down and it took every ounce of restraint not to launch myself at her. Rosalie moved beside me, creating a protective wall between the wolves and Bella.

"Out," Rosalie hissed.

"I was only speaking the truth," Leah replied, as though the affect her words had on Bella were of no consequence.

"Out…NOW!" I repeated. "Or I will put you out."

"Leah, come on." Seth tugged on his sister's arm and she relented after a brief struggle. "Jake can speak for himself. He doesn't need you to speak for him."

Seth gave his sister's arm another hard tug toward the door and she quickly whipped past him, running from the house. _I'm sorry_, Seth mouthed as he ran after her.

I stared at the open doorway for a moment, still shocked by Leah's outburst. I turned and knelt beside Bella. The tears were flowing freely now as she covered her face with her hands. Rosalie stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders to soothe her as best she could.

"Bella, please don't cry," I pleaded. "Leah's words mean nothing. She's just upset."

Bella glared at me with narrowed, red-rimmed eyes. "But she was right," she choked.

"No, she wasn't. She's letting her feelings for Sam cloud the issue. Jacob chose to be here with you because he's your friend. He's strong and he understands – you've already shed your tears for him."

Bella shook her head vehemently and crossed her arms over her knees, burying her face further. I looked helplessly at Rose who merely shrugged her shoulders. It seemed neither of us was equipped to undo the damage that Leah's accusations had inflicted.

I eased myself onto the couch beside Bella and reached my arms around her, pulling her into my lap, cradling her against me. Her body shuddered with her continued sobs and I did what I could – I held her. I held tightly onto her while she cried, each tear slicing through my heart as I was forced to witness her pain. I had only seen her cry like this on a couple of occasions, and each time, my heart broke for her. Her guilt for Jacob was a crushing burden she already carried, only made worse by Leah's tirade.

"Can I get you anything?" Rosalie asked softly.

Bella shook her head, still keeping it buried in her arms. Her sobs had quieted, but I could still feel the moisture of her tears as they trickled down her cheeks, falling onto my arms that held her tight. As I comforted her, I listened to the concerned thoughts of our child. He could sense her distress and it seemed to bother him greatly.

"Ah," Bella gasped, unwinding her arms to clutch her midsection.

"Bella?"

She blew out several slow breaths before raising her hand and shaking her head. "I'm fine," she wheezed. "I'm fine."

It was then that I had an idea. "Bella, may I?" I asked, gesturing to her swollen belly.

She looked at me with a puzzled expression, but nodded her assent.

I knelt down until I was at eye level with her stomach. I placed my hands on either side of her belly and stroked it gently. "Where did it hurt?" I asked her.

She pointed to her right side.

I rubbed small circles in the place she had pointed to. "Baby, can you hear me?" I spoke softly. Bella looked quizzically at me, but smiled.

"Baby?"

I could hear the recognition in the child's thoughts. He knew my voice. I stroked the place where the pain had originated from, pressing lightly. "Can you feel my hand?" I asked.

Bella winced slightly at the same moment I felt a delicate pressure against my palm. "You can. That's good." With my other hand on the opposite side, I pressed in again and asked, "Can you feel my hand over here?"

Again, the slightest pressure pressed against my palm and I smiled at the sensation. "He can understand me," I beamed.

Bella's mouth popped open. "Are you sure?"

"It's astounding, but yes, I believe he can."

I felt a sharper movement against my palm and Bella cried out.

"Shh, baby…shh," I soothed, rubbing the spot where he had kicked.

"You love your mother, don't you?" I asked. The overwhelming sense of devotion emanated from her belly.

"And you don't want to harm her, do you?" I asked. The response was absolute agreement. He understood love as well as pain. "You're very strong and it hurts her when you kick. Can you try to be still?"

The emotion of love was now tinged with remorse. It appeared that he had the mental capacity to understand that his actions were causing pain, something he didn't wish to do to someone he cared so much for.

"He understands," I breathed, smiling up at Bella. "He understands. This changes everything."

Bella gazed at me, not seeming to understand.

"He doesn't want to hurt you," I explained. "And he can understand me. If we can explain to him what hurts you, he can try to avoid it. If we can communicate on this level, we can conceivably talk him through the entire delivery process. We can save you both."

Bella's eyes widened as she processed this new revelation. She placed her hand atop mine. Together we cradled the unexpected marvel she carried in her womb. I continued to listen to the thoughts of our child, finding myself increasingly enamored with its amazing intellect. I had never before attempted to listen to the thoughts of an unborn human child, but I had heard the minds of infants before and none could compare to the advanced understanding that ours was exhibiting.

His mind was a complex tapestry of evolving emotion and understanding. It was amazing what he was able to glean solely by listening. I wagered that his hearing must be akin to mine if he could hear our voices so clearly through the barriers that contained him. As I listened, I began to hear an edge of concern and discomfort tingeing his thoughts – a desire to move and to stretch, hindered by a fear that he might harm Bella.

"I don't think we should wait," I whispered.

Bella looked up. "Wait for what?"

_Edward, no_, Rosalie thought, already understanding my meaning.

"I think we should ask Carlisle to deliver the baby when he returns," I answered.

Bella bit down on her lip and glanced over at Rosalie who shook her head imperceptibly. "Why?"

"I can hear his fear, his discomfort. He's afraid to hurt you, but there isn't adequate space in the womb for him. He's unable to stretch and move as he normally would because he now knows that it would cause you harm."

_ I don't know. _Rosalie pursed her lips. "Will it be safe?"

"Bella is only a couple of days shy of a full-term pregnancy, at least as far as we can tell," I replied. "I wouldn't foresee any complications from delivering a day or two early."

"I'm not sure," Bella whispered.

"I think it's dangerous to continue to wait – for both you and the baby."

Bella and Rosalie exchanged a loaded glance. "Call Carlisle," Rosalie finally answered. "See what he has to say. If he agrees, then so will we."

I spend the next several moments pacing the floor of Carlisle's office, explaining our discovery and my hope that he would deliver the baby upon his return. His reluctance was only surpassed by his amazement. He asked what seemed like an endless series of questions regarding the baby's temperament, thought processes, and comprehension. He did agree that the ability to communicate, at least on a rudimentary level, would be immensely helpful during the delivery.

Carlisle had sent Jasper and Alice back with a load of supplies, but had decided to seek out another source to sustain Bella's new diet. I tried to convince him that more blood wouldn't be necessary if we were to induce her labor, but he insisted that there may be need for a transfusion and, if the baby was craving blood while in the womb, it was likely it would harbor the same proclivity after it was born.

With much trepidation, I agreed that a greater blood supply would be prudent and he promised to return by the following day. I hung up the phone, feeling marginally better about the situation, but seeing the pain Bella was in and hearing the discomfort of our child made me anxious to elevate the timeline. Waiting out the next eighteen hours or so until Carlisle's return would be agonizing. With my medical degree, it was probable that I could go ahead with the procedure, but my lack of practical application would likely cause both Rosalie and Bella to refuse.

The sound of voices filtered up the stairway and I returned to see Alice and Jasper speaking quietly with Rosalie. I sat beside Bella who was now curled under a quilt, snoring softly. Her cheeks were still red and streaked with the tears she had shed just moments ago. Jasper regarded me with amusement as he sampled my temperament, enamored by my drastic emotional shift. For the first time in weeks, he could sense hope.

Rosalie was relaying our discovery and the possibilities it presented. Alice was visibly relieved and Jasper, also relieved, seemed more so to be delighted to finally have an answer to the question that had been nagging at the back of his mind. He has sensed the child's emotions, though because I had not indicated any ability to hear its thoughts and Carlisle's ultrasound had failed, he believed it would be impossible for his ability to breach the protective barrier within the womb. He had dismissed the emotions he sensed, assuming they were being produced by someone else, or even from Bella herself.

Although pleased to hear the good news, without the presence of a wolf in the house, the distortion in Alice's vision quickly returned, forcing her to relegate herself elsewhere in the house. And, once again, Rosalie and I were left alone to watch over Bella.

As we sat in silence, I listened to the thoughts of the wolves outside. Seth was upset with his sister for the way she had acted, yet understanding of her pain. Leah seemed to have found a sense of liberation through her words, though her thoughts were now tinged with an inkling of remorse. Extending my ability outward, I could hear the thoughts of the other wolves, of Sam's pack, as they sat guard at the border of our territory. Hearing the fear and anger in their minds gave me great concern. Although the likelihood that both Bella and the baby would survive the delivery was improving, there was still the distinct possibility that something could go wrong.

The treaty, now severely strained and likely broken, would surely be shattered the moment Bella's heart stopped beating. Treaty or no treaty, I would do whatever I had to do to keep Bella alive, in one form or the other. But the stress of the new dynamic would be made exponentially worse if we were forced to run from the wolves. If a new treaty could be forged, if a new agreement could be made, we could focus our efforts on helping Bella adapt to a new life and on adapting our own lives to care for an infant with yet unknown characteristics.

I made a mental note to discuss this with Jacob upon his return. Not only was he now an Alpha with a pack of his own, but he was the descendant of Ephraim Black – the true Alpha of Sam's pack. His authority by birth should outweigh Sam's assumed power.

No sooner had I made this decision than I heard the roar of the Vanquish as it approached the house. With Bella still sleeping soundly, I made my way to the garage to greet him. I also had wish to discuss Leah's actions in his absence and, with the possibility of raised voices, I didn't want to take the chance of waking Bella.

A flicker of surprise registered on Jacob's face as he pulled the car to a stop in the garage. His thoughts, though calmed a bit, were still tinged with bitterness.

"A few things, Jacob," I began.

He closed his eyes briefly and held his breath before rising from the car and tossing the keys to me. "Thanks for the loan," he grumbled. "What do you want _now_?"

"Firstly…I know how averse you are to using your authority with your pack, but…"

"What?" he asked, confused by my words.

I could feel my ire rising again, Bella's emotional wounds still too new for me to remain calm. "If you can't or won't control Leah, then I –"

"Leah?" he interrupted. "What happened?"

"She came up to see why you'd left so abruptly. I tried to explain. I suppose it might not have come out right."

Jacob sucked in a breath through his teeth. "What did she do?"

"She phased to her human form and –"

"Really?" he interjected. _She let her guard down…in the mouth of the enemy's lair?_

"She wanted to…_speak_ to Bella."

"To _Bella_?" he repeated.

I clenched my fists at my sides, reigning in my temper. "I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her – of course I wouldn't – but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her right across the river –"

"Hold _on_." Jacob shook his head, waving his hands in the air to stop me. "What did she _say_?"

"Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I'm not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you, but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she's inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella's been crying –"

"Wait – Leah was yelling at Bella about _me_?"

I nodded. "You were quite vehemently championed."

_Whoa._ "I didn't ask her to do that."

"I know."

_Who would have believed it? _"I can't promise to control Leah. I won't do that. But I'll talk to her, okay? And I don't think there'll be a repeat. Leah's not one to hold back, so she probably got it all off her chest today."

"I would say so," I scoffed.

"Anyway, I'll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn't need to feel bad. This one's on me."

"I already told her that."

"Of course you did." He rolled his eyes briefly before his expression morphed to one of concern. "Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping now. Rose is with her."

_Rose? He's completely crossed over to the dark side._

"She's…better in some ways," I continued. "Aside from Leah's tirade and the resulting guilt."

_Better. Because he can hear the monster and everything and it's all lovey-dovey now. Fantastic._

"It's a bit more than that," I explained. "Now that I can make out the child's thoughts, it's apparent that he or she has remarkably developed mental facilities. He can understand us, to an extent."

His jaw went slack. "Are you _serious_?"

"Yes." I nodded. "He seems to have a vague sense of what hurts her now. He's trying to avoid that, as much as possible. He…_loves_ her. Already."

I waited a moment as I allowed the new information to sink in. Almost immediately, he seemed to understand how important this discovery was, how it changed the entire dynamic of our situation, although it still didn't dispel his fears about the harm that could still befall Bella.

"The progress, I believe, is more than we'd judged," I continued. "When Carlisle returns –"

"They're not back?" he asked, cutting me off, his thoughts turning to the wolves bordering the perimeter and the threat they could cause.

"Alice and Jasper are. Carlisle sent all the blood he was able to acquire, but it wasn't as much as he was hoping for – Bella will use up this supply in another day the way her appetite has grown. Carlisle stayed to try another source. I don't think that's necessary now, but he wants to be covered for any eventuality."

"Why isn't it necessary? If she needs more?"

"I'm trying to persuade Carlisle to deliver the baby as soon as he is back."

"_What_?" Jacob gasped.

"The child seems to be attempting to avoid rough movements, but it's difficult. He's become too big. It's madness to wait, when he's clearly developed beyond what Carlisle had guessed. Bella's too fragile to delay."

Jacob pressed his hand to his chest, as though the wind had been knocked from his lungs. His surprise rapidly turned to despair as he realized our timeline had been drastically cut short. He stared at me with unblinking eyes before his mind began working again.

"You think she's going to make it," he whispered, a prayer more than an observation.

"Yes." I nodded. "That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

Jacob stared, dumbfounded.

"Yes," I continued. "Waiting, as we have been, for the child to be ready, that was insanely dangerous. At any moment it could have been too late. But if we're proactive about this, if we act quickly, I see no reason why it should not go well. Knowing the child's mind is unbelievably helpful. Thankfully, Bella and Rose agree with me. Now that I've convinced them it's safe for the child if we proceed, there's nothing to keep this from working."

"When will Carlisle be back?" he asked.

"By noon tomorrow."

Jacob reached out to steady himself as his knees gave way. I started to reach for him, but stopped myself, knowing he would distain my touch more than he would appreciate my assistance. The sorrow rolled off of him in waves and I felt immensely guilty for the anguish I had inflicted on him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I am truly sorry for the pain this causes you, Jacob. Though you hate me, I must admit that I don't feel the same about you. I think of you as a…a brother in many ways. A comrade in arms, at the very least. I regret your suffering more than you realize. But Bella _is_ going to survive – and I know that's what really matters to you."

I could sense his agreement, although he was still in a state of shock.

"So I hate to do this now," I continued, "while you're already dealing with too much, but, clearly, there is little time. I have to ask you for something – to beg, if I must."

He looked up at me with pained eyes. "I don't have anything left," he choked.  
His pain pierced through me, reminding me of a time not long ago when I believed I had lost everything, when the weight of it all was so heavy that it crushed me completely. I longed to comfort him, but held back.

"I know how much you have given," I whispered. "But this is something you _do_ have, and only you. I'm asking this of the true Alpha, Jacob. I'm asking this of Ephraim's heir."

I continued when he failed to respond.

"I want your permission to deviate from what we agreed to in our treaty with Ephraim. I want you to grant us an exception. I want your permission to save her life. You know I'll do it anyway, but I don't want to break faith with you if there is any way to avoid it. We never intended to go back on our word, and we don't do it lightly now. I want your understanding, Jacob, because you know exactly why we do this. I want the alliance between our families to survive when this is over."

_It's Sam you want._

"No." I shook my head. "Sam's authority is assumed. It belongs to you. You'll never take it from him, but no one can rightfully agree to what I'm asking except for _you_."

_It's not my decision._

"It is, Jacob, and you know it. Only you can give this to me."

_I can't think. I don't know._

"We don't have much time," I pleaded.

_I don't know. Let me think. Just give me a minute here, okay?_

"Yes," I agreed to Jacob's unspoken words.

He started toward the house and I followed, listening to the broken train of thought as he tried to piece his sanity back together, to make sense of everything that had transpired and what it would mean for everyone. Seth trotted over to us, his thoughts apprehensive and concerned. "Hey, kid," Jacob muttered, seeming to find his voice again. He reached over and patted Seth on the shoulder. "S'all cool. I'll tell you about it later. Sorry to take off on you like that."

_I understand_.Seth grinned.

"Hey, tell your sister to back off now, okay? Enough."

Seth nodded. _Will do._

"Get back to work. I'll spell you in a bit."

Seth trotted back to the tree line, leaving us alone again.  
"He has one of the purest, sincerest, _kindest_ minds I've ever heard," I offered. "You're lucky to have his thoughts to share."

"I know that."

The sound of liquid being sucked through a straw caught our attention and I bolted up to the house. Bella was sitting up on the couch, the quilt still wrapped around her, her fingers gripping a Styrofoam cup.

"Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping," I breathed. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left."

She shook her head. "Don't worry. I just got so thirsty – it woke me up. It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me."

"True." I nodded. "That's a good point."

"I wonder if he'll want anything else," she pondered aloud.

"I suppose we'll find out."

Jacob walked in behind me.

"Finally," Alice sighed with relief.

Bella looked up, her eyes locking with Jacob's. She smiled, but it quickly faltered as she remembered Leah's words.

"Hey, Bells," Jacob greeted, effectively hiding his sadness. "How ya doing?"

"I'm fine," she said.

"Big day today, huh? Lots of new stuff."

She pursed her lips. "You don't have to do that, Jacob."

He shrugged. "Don't know what you're talking about." He moved toward her, sitting on the arm of the sofa.

"I'm _so_ s –"

He reached over, gently pinching her lips closed.

"Jake," she mumbled, trying to pull his hand away.

He shook his head. "You can talk when you're not being stupid."

"Fine, I won't say it," she grumbled.

He lowered his hand.

"Sorry!" she blurted out, smiling widely.

He rolled his eyes, but returned the smile. He maintained a carefree façade, but his mind was reeling as the reality of the coming changes began to sink in. As his mind worked through everything, I could see a subtle shift – the distain he held for our kind diminishing somewhat when he thought of what it would mean for his love for and friendship with Bella. As much as he wanted to hate us, he was finding it increasingly improbably that he could have any feeling for her other than love, regardless of whether her heart continued to beat or not.

He breathed a heavy sigh. _Fine! Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraim's heir, you have my permission, my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were right – they can't deny that it's my right to agree to this._

"Thank you," I whispered quietly, unable to keep the emotion from seeping into my voice. I could feel Alice and Rosalie's eyes on me, their thoughts puzzled.

"So," Bella began, breaking our silent conversation. "How was your day?"

"Great." Jacob shrugged. "Went for a drive. Hung out in the park."

"Sounds nice," she hummed.

"Sure, sure."

Bella scrunched her face, displaying some level of discomfort. "Rose?" she asked.

_Bathroom? ___"Again?" Rosalie laughed.

Bella smiled meekly. "I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour," she explained.

Jacob and I both moved out of the way as Rosalie moved to lift Bella from the couch.

"Can I walk?" Bella complained. "My legs are so stiff."

"Are you sure?" I asked, uncertain she would be steady on her feet.

"Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them."

Rosalie hesitated briefly, but set Bella carefully on her feet and held onto her shoulders to steady her. Bella stretched out her arms, rolling her shoulders.

"That feels good," she sighed. "Ugh, but I'm huge…One more day."

I exchanged a look with Jacob as I saw the pain of her words ripple briefly across his expression before he quickly squelched it.

"All righty, then," Bella breathed. "Whoops – oh, no!"

I watched helplessly as Bella's cup fell over, saturating the couch cushion and carpet in thick, red liquid. I instinctually held my breath, knowing that the overwhelming aroma of freshly spilled blood would be too much for me when I had gone so long without. Bella began to bend down to pick up the cup, but Alice, Rosalie, and I were already reaching for it.

That's when I heard it – the sound that would send my entire world into a tailspin.

"Oh!" Bella gasped.

I watched in horror as her body fell limp and plummeted to the floor. Rosalie was closer and caught her before I could.

"Bella?" I asked, reaching for her, trying to keep the panic from my voice. She was unresponsive, but the sounds of distress emanating from within her ripped through me.

The quiet was shattered by a shriek of agonizing pain. Bella's body shuddered, twisting at an unnatural angle. The sounds of tearing filled my ears and I watched helplessly as Bella's scream was drowned by a gush of blood.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for your continued support and kind words. I couldn't do this without you. I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter (although not as long as last time). I have a regular writing schedule established, something I didn't have in the past, to keep me on task and writing at least one day a week. Ordinarily, I would spend at least two or three evenings a week writing, but I have been blessed with a surge of orders in my Etsy store that have taken up the rest of my free time.**

**I have to thank my beta, Nellybear 85, and my good friend, misticbutterfly, for helping me out with this chapter. I struggled a bit with the correct way to portray several scenes and their help was invaluable. Thank you ladies!**


	24. Chapter 24: Birth

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 24

Birth

Blood.

_Everywhere._

The world, already tilting on its axis, was awash in a brilliant crimson hue. The gore was only surpassed by the blinding terror that seized every mind in the room – every mind except for Bella's. Her body wrenched itself in a grotesquely unnatural manner, spasms rippling outward from her midsection. The shocking display was made even more horrific by her utter lack of response.

The slow burn in my throat burst into flames as the scent of freshly spilled blood filled my nostrils. I steeled my resolve and forced my airway to close, but the damage was done as the sweet scent lingered in my lungs, stoking the flames that scorched their way up my throat.

Sharp cracks reverberated through Bella's body as our child, stricken by some yet unknown ailment, panicked, all thought and emotion overridden by the instinct to survive. All thoughts lingering on my own hunger evaporated.

_Something's wrong. The baby's in distress,_ Rosalie thought as she hoisted Bella up in her arms and bolted for the stairs.

"We need to get her to Carlisle's study," she shouted. "Something's wrong."

"I can hear him, he's in distress," I gasped as I followed her up the stairs. "He's panicking."

"We can't wait for Carlisle. We'll have to do it. There's no time."

I shattered the switch in my haste to turn on the lights as Rosalie laid Bella on the table and began gathering the instruments.

"Morphine!" I shouted.

"Alice – get Carlisle on the phone!" Rosalie yelled.

_Carlisle…phone…right…_

A flustered Alice disappeared from the room just as Jacob appeared in the door, helpless and frightened. Ignoring my plea for morphine, Rosalie did her best to hold Bella down as she convulsed. The sound of shredding of fabric filled the room as Rosalie hastily ripped Bella's clothing away.

I grabbed the syringe of morphine from the tray of instruments and, ignoring standard protocol, thrust the needle into Bella's arm. If Bella were to die today, it would not be from infection.

"What's _happening_, Edward?" Jacob asked from across the room._ I can't look._

"He's suffocating!" I hissed.

_Placental abruption. _"The placenta must have detached!" Rosalie added.

I turned to gather the instruments, making sure the syringe filled with my venom was within reach, when Bella's voice rang in my ears.

"Get him OUT!" she screamed.

I turned, locking eyes with Rosalie.

"He can't BREATHE!" Bella shrieked. "Do it NOW!"

I gaped at her for a fraction of a second, weighing the options, knowing that there had not been sufficient time for the morphine to spread through her blood stream and take effect.

I reached for her hand. "The morphine – "

She shook her head. "NO! NOW – " Fresh blood bubbled from her lips, choking off her words. I lifted her head up as best I could – her upper body and lower body seemed to be working against each other – one nearly lifeless while the other thrashed uncontrollably. I reached behind me to flip a switch and began suctioning the blood from her mouth to clear her airway. She sputtered and coughed, her hand wrapped around my wrist, her nails uselessly attempting to dig into my forearm.

_I've got Carlisle._ Alice appeared at Rosalie's side and clipped an earpiece to her ear.

"It's Bella. The baby – placental abruption, we think," Rosalie hissed into the phone, her words coming so fast, they were beginning to run together. I could hear Carlisle on the other end of the line – hear the fear in his voice, the distress that we would have to perform the delivery without him.

With Carlisle in Rosalie's ear to walk her through the process of delivering the baby, the responsibility of monitoring Bella's condition was left to me. I continued to suction her mouth, though the flow had ebbed slightly. Her recent outburst was a distant memory as she struggled for breath.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the glint of light as Rosalie raised the scalpel in her hand.

My free hand shot out, wrapping around her wrist. "Let the morphine spread!" I shouted.

"There's no time," she hissed back. "He's dying!"

My resolve faltered at the thought of losing them both and I loosened my grip. Rosalie wrenched her hand free and slid the scalpel across Bella's abdomen. Scarlet bloomed from the incision and flowed, hot and thick, across Bella's snowy skin. Bella winced, but was either too shocked or too focused on her struggle for breath to react further.

_Blood_. The singular thought rippled its way through the room and nearly bowled me over with its ferocity. I looked up to see Rosalie, her dark eyes crazed with thirst as she held the scalpel in her hand, the fresh blood dripping down her fingers. I was momentarily paralyzed by the realization the she was preparing to attack Bella.

I held Bella's head in my hands, afraid to let go for fear that she would drown in her own blood. I looked beseechingly at Jacob as I began to shout. "No, Rose!"

Without hesitation, Jacob leapt across the table, barreling into Rosalie and knocking her to the floor. He didn't flinch as the scalpel in her hand pierced his arm. I watched in admiration and horror as Jacob wrestled Rosalie toward the door. Even more impressive was the struggle within Rosalie's mind as she fought her inner demon with every ounce of strength she possessed.

I tore my eyes away as I heard Bella's heart falter. She stared up at me, unseeing. Panic seized me.

Alice grabbed Rosalie by the throat and hauled her up through the doorway and into the hall. Jacob pulled the scalpel from his arm and pressed his palm against the wound.

"Alice, get her out of here!" I shouted. "Take her to Jasper and _keep_ her there! Jacob, I need you!"

With Rosalie incapacitated and the phone shattered in the struggle, it was left to Jacob and myself to deliver the baby and save Bella. Jacob ran to my side.

"CPR?"

"Yes!" He paused, his mind searching my face for any sign that I would be tempted. With Bella dying in my arms, my thirst was the furthest thing from my mind.

"Get her breathing!" I ordered as I moved from Bella's head toward the site of the incision. "I've got to get him out before – "

A loud crack pierced the air, followed by a deafening silence. Bella was frozen, unmoving, unresponsive. There was no cry, no scream of agony…_nothing_.

"Her spine," I gasped, feeling all the air whoosh from my lungs. My knees grew weak and I had to grip the table for support.

"Get it _out_ of her!" Jacob growled, throwing the scalpel at me. "She won't feel anything now!"

I nodded and reached for the scalpel. Though the flow of blood was heavy, the initial incision Rosalie had made was relatively shallow. I ran the blade across the flesh, cutting deeper through layers of tissue. I eased the incision apart, exposing the bulging uterus. Dragging the scalpel across the membrane, I could hear the tip of the blade scrape against something hard, like a stone wrapped in flesh and blood.

As I worked, I listened to the sounds of the room – the faltering rhythm of Bella's heart, the sound of air being forced into her lungs at regular intervals, the sound of Jacob counting under his breath as he worked to keep her heart pumping. I could hear the voices of my siblings as they murmured quietly elsewhere in the house. I could hear Seth and Leah as they paced outside, nervously wondering what was transpiring inside. With all the sounds that filled my ears, nothing would compare to the next.

With no time to waste and with Carlisle's theories fresh in my mind, I squeezed my eyes shut as I sank my teeth into the protective barrier around the baby. The screeching sounds, like tearing metal, rang in my ears as I tore through the membrane with my teeth. Carlisle had been right about the amniotic sac possessing properties much like our skin. Ignoring the hunger that burned in my belly, I ripped my way through the thick wall, taking great care not to harm the baby.

"You stay with _me_ now, Bella!" I heard Jacob yell. "Do you hear me? Stay! You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!"

I forced myself to work quickly as I listened to Bella's failing heart. I continued to bite my way across the barrier, creating an opening wide enough to deliver the baby. Feeling relatively certain that I had succeeded, I leaned up, wiping the blood and gore from my mouth with my forearm, and reached into Bella's abdomen. Warm, slippery flesh met my hands as I wrapped them around the tiny, human form. I lifted my arms up and was met with a sight that could only be described as an absolute miracle.

Time stopped.

I stared in marvel at the creature in my hands – perfectly formed and beautiful – like her mother. _Her._ The tiny baby in my arms was not the boy Bella had anticipated, but a precious baby girl. _A daughter._ Her eyes opened, her chocolate brown eyes, and her tiny fingers reached for me. I gazed in wonder. She was not the boy her mother imagined, nor the monster I had come to expect until only days before her birth. I could feel my heart tearing in two. Bella was the love of my life – of my _existence_ – and before meeting her, I had never imagined I could love so deeply and completely. But as I held this child in my arms, _my daughter_, I found myself besieged by my immediate and absolute adoration of her.

"Renesmee," I whispered.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella weakly raise her arms. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at the two of us. "Let me…" she whispered. "Give her to me."

Gently, I laid the baby on Bella's chest. Bella reached up with a shaky hand, stroking the side of her face and staring with the same awe.

"Renes…mee," she whispered. "So…beautiful."

I smiled at the meeting of mother and daughter – amazed that we had even succeeded thus far in such a dangerous endeavor. I found myself growing dangerously hopeful. But my smile quickly disappeared when Bella's expression changed from one of wonder to one of pain.

I reached for the baby and flinched when I saw the small crescent mark blooming red on Bella's chest. "No, Renesmee," I murmured, knowing that she would understand just as she had when she was still in the womb.

Her lips were stained red, though it was barely distinguishable from the gore that still coated her skin. She let out a frustrated cry, revealing two tiny rows of perfect, white teeth. Her small fingers gripped mine and she stared at me, her thoughts torn between her need for her mother and her desire to sate her hunger.

The room was suddenly too quiet. I turned my head to see Jacob pressing his hands to Bella chest, counting under his breath again, pumping her heart. But there was no response. _Nothing.___Bella's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, her arms hanging limply at her sides.

Jacob leaned over Bella, her chest expanding as he blew a lungful of air into her mouth before again resuming chest compressions.

Renesmee let out a strangled cry as we both watched the scene before us. I froze in place, horrified by what I was seeing, shattered and terrified and in a state of utter shock. I knew I should do something, that I should help, but a crushing anguish washed over me, locking me in a prison of ice and stone. I watched, helpless, as my wife lay dead.

"What are you waiting for?" Jacob growled, not looking up from his task.

His words were enough to jolt me from my stupor. I needed to act now, before it was too late – if it wasn't too late already. "Take the baby," I pleaded, holding her out toward him.

"Throw it out the window," he hissed between compressions.

"Give her to me."

My eyes followed the sound of the voice to Rosalie standing in the doorway, arms stretched forward. I growled under my breath, eyeing her warily, feeling suddenly very protective of the daughter I held in my arms.

"I've got it under control." _I promise._ "Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella…" _Oh, God…_

I hesitated, but felt I had little choice. Rosalie appeared to be in control of her hunger, but there wasn't time to scrutinize her further. I gave her a warning glare as I handed Renesmee to her waiting hands. The corner of Rosalie's mouth turned up as she cradled the newborn in her arms and hastened from the room.

Jacob was still counting under his breath, still struggling to restart Bella's heart. I snatched the syringe of venom from the table and moved to Bella's side.

"Move your hands, Jacob."

Jacob paused to look up. "What's that?"

Frustrated, I shoved his hands out of the way, hearing the familiar crunch of bone in the process, and thrust the needle through Bella's chest, straight into her heart. "My venom," I answered as I pushed the plunger down, causing her silent heart to shudder.

"Keep it moving," I ordered.

The venom was enough to jolt her heart awake, but in her state, it would take more than that to save her. As Jacob resumed chest compressions, I knelt beside her head. "I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear. I pushed back her hair and bit down on her slender neck, injecting more venom, and sealing the wound closed. I then moved to her arm and her wrists and so on, recreating the wounds given to me when Carlisle changed me in an effort to introduce as much venom in as many points on her body as possible.

The initial jolt of her heart had been just that and, though Jacob was continuing to pump her heart, it seemed reluctant to respond. _It can't be too late_, I thought to myself. I stood over her, watching Jacob work, feeling helpless as I waited for the venom to take effect, to work its magic.

_There's nothing…just me, just him. Working over a corpse._

I lowered my head into my hands and tugged at my hair as I listened to Jacob's thoughts. He was giving up. _She's not there anymore_, he thought. _…longing to get away from here and never, ever come back._

"Go, then," I seethed, shoving his hands out of the way. He would be of no help to Bella if he didn't believe she could be saved. I resumed compressions myself, ignoring Jacob as he stood silently.

"She's not dead," I growled. "She's going to be fine."

But was she? Her heart protested at each compression, her blood thickening as I forced it to continue its flow. Her skin was growing cold and her pallor even more pale. She laid perfectly still, her eyes staring blankly upward. _Dead_.

I squeezed my eyes shut as a strangled cry escaped my lips. The tears I could not shed burned behind my eyes. I felt trapped, like a desperate man hiding in an attic crawlspace, clawing in hopeless agony at a wooden floor. The memory flooded my consciousness, reminding me of how it felt to lose her once. And I could feel that same familiar darkness creeping over me now.

Every memory of her flashed before my eyes in a fraction of a second. _Too short._ We were supposed to spend eternity together._ Forever._ I wasn't ready to let her go. We had been through so much, struggled to be together. And she had fought with her very life just to bring our daughter into this world – she deserved better than this. For such a beautiful soul to be ripped from this world…

_NO!_ I pounded my fist on the table and forced myself upright again, resuming chest compressions. _She's not dead. She's not dead_. I repeated my mantra over and over, forcing myself to keep trying. Bella would not have given up on me. I couldn't give up on her._ Not ever._

I pumped her heart faster, compelling the viscous blood to flow, forcing the venom through to every cell in her body. I closed my eyes, unable to focus on her face, on her blank expression. I couldn't allow myself to see her like this – it was too much for me to bear, too _final_.

"Please, Bella," I begged, whispering my prayer to anyone who would listen. "Please come back to me. I need you. Renesmee needs you. _Please_." My voice broke, overcome by the grief that threatened to crush me.

Unbidden, the thoughts rushed into my mind – what if I was too late? What if this doesn't work? How could I survive in this world without her? I lived for a hundred years without knowing this kind of love, but I didn't believe I could endure a life without her. She was everything to me. Selfishly, I clung to the hope that if she did not revive, that I could resume my efforts to provoke the Volturi and join her in death. But I couldn't do that. Not now. Not with…_Renesmee_.

Our daughter would be the only piece of Bella that I had left – the only part of her I could keep with me. She had the same eyes, the same blushing cheeks, the same hold on my heart. Bella had been right – she knew that if she didn't survive the birth, that I wouldn't be able to abandon our child. And I couldn't.

"Bella, please," I sobbed. "I love you. Please come back. I don't know how do to this without you."

Then, without warning, my prayers were heard. Her silent heart sputtered, like an old engine starting up after a long stretch of dormancy. The sputtering rapidly increased until her heart was pounding so fiercely that the vibrations traveled up through my arms.

"Bella," I gasped, feeling a flood of relief wash over me.

I lifted my hands and her heart continued to hammer in her chest, pumping, working – _changing_. I leaned over, cupping her face in my palms and placing an impassioned kiss on her forehead. "Bella," I whispered. "Can you hear me?"

She was perfectly still. If I could not hear her heart, I wouldn't believe that anything had changed. Her eyes still stared blankly at the ceiling. _Something's not right_, I thought to myself. I remembered all too vividly the pain of the change, the intense agony as the venom scorched its way through my veins. She should be screaming in anguish, but her lips remained silent and her expression tranquil. Did I do something wrong? Was it possible that I had introduced too much venom into her bloodstream? Was the injection into her heart too much for her – would it have an effect opposite to the one that was desired?

I knelt by her side, one hand tugging on my hair in frustration and the other gripping her unresponsive fingers. The only reassurance I had was the continued staccato of her heart, so loud that it echoed throughout the room. Blowing out a slow breath, I cupped her hand to my cheek and laid my head down beside her, closing my eyes. The stress of the day, of the last weeks, settled over me, leaving me weak and emotionally exhausted.

A small hand gripped my shoulder and I lifted my head to see Alice standing beside me. She smiled softly and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

"She's going to be fine," she whispered.

I shook my head. Even from Alice, the news was difficult to believe. "Are you sure?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Really, Edward? Did you hit your head? Did you forget who you're talking to?"

"No." I shrugged. "But before…"

"Before, Bella's entire future was being dictated by her pregnancy. Now that the two have been separated, it's much easier for me to see."

I nodded weakly. I wanted to believe Alice, more than I ever wanted to believe her before. But this was so strange, so far distanced from what was expected that I found it difficult to believe any reassurance.

Alice patted my shoulder and moved to Bella's other side, smiling as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She splayed her hand across Bella's face and gently closed her eyes, making her appear asleep rather than departed.

"I thought you might like some help," Alice offered.

"Help?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Well, if Jasper hopes to leave the attic any time in the next few days, we might want to…" _Clean up._

I followed her gaze to the resulting chaos left by Renesmee's delivery. Blood pooled around Bella's body, dripping from the table to the floor in crimson puddles. I cringed, seeing the bruised and mutilated remains. It was no wonder that the mothers in Kaure's stories did not survive. But as I stared, I saw something amazing. The incision in Bella's abdomen had grown smaller, the venom already working to knit her body back together. Although still wary, I found myself bolstered by this new discovery.

Alice disappeared from the room and reappeared seconds later with an armful of cloths and a bucket of warm water held in the crook of her other arm. She set them both down on Carlisle's desk and set to work. She poured some water into a small basin and dipped a clean cloth into the water as she began wiping it gently across Bella's blood-stained skin. The white cloth quickly tinged pink as she dragged it across Bella's body.

I reached out, stilling her hands, and took the bowl and cloth for myself. Feeling the need to be of use, I continued to cleanse Bella's body. Alice nodded and gathered the bucket, kneeling as she began to mop up the floor. We worked in tandem at a human's pace as we cleaned up the mess that had been made.

Within the hour, both Bella and the room were free of any trace of blood. The scent of bleach permeated the room and a waft of smoke drifted up from the small fire Alice built outside to burn the blood-soaked cloths. The damage done by the scalpel was almost completely sealed, the only evidence of the delivery, a slender pink seam that ran the width of Bella's abdomen. Her heart continued to beat, but she remained as still as a corpse, unlike any transitioning vampire I had ever witnessed.

Alice returned with a clean sheet and draped it across Bella's body, giving her the illusion of slumber. "That should do for now," she whispered to herself. _I have something special for her to wear when she wakes up._

"Thank you, Alice."

She smiled. "It was my pleasure – the least I could do after how little use I was during her pregnancy."

"That wasn't your fault," I murmured.

"I know, but it still bothered me that I couldn't help." _I hate being blind._

"I'm sorry I was hard on you – on everyone. That wasn't fair."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Water under the bridge. If Jasper's life had been threatened like this, I would have been out of my head with worry, too. I would have done anything to save him."

"I know you would – just as Carlisle would do anything for Esme and Emmett anything for Rosalie. But it still doesn't make it right."

She waved me off as she moved toward the door. "I'll be back in a little while with Bella's dress. But now I should tell Jasper it's okay to come out."

"But the couch - and the carpet?"

"Taken care of." She smiled.

I should have known that Alice wouldn't have missed a thing. She rarely did, especially where Jasper was concerned. He was lucky to have her. We all were.

I was once again alone with my wife. With the blood washed away and her skin wiped clean, she looked almost serene. But that nagging thought in the back of my mind wouldn't disappear – if the venom was working as it should, why was she so peaceful? Her reactions should be anything but peaceful, the absolute antithesis of it.

I remembered when Carlisle had changed Emmett. He used morphine in advance of the venom just as I had here, but Emmett behaved just as we all had – screaming, thrashing, begging for death. I could not find a reasonable explanation for Bella's divergence from the standard. Then again, she always said and did the unexpected. It was one of the many things I loved about her. Why should this be any different?

The house was quiet, save for the beating of three hearts. _Three. _The first two belonged to Bella and to Jacob, but the third was new. _Renesmee._ Her heart thrummed like the beating of a hummingbird's wings. It was certainly unexpected. We heard no heartbeat when she was in the womb. It must have been the protective barrier that prevented us from hearing. Just as the ultrasound bounced uselessly off the barrier so we could not see inside, the sound of her heart beating must have resonated off the walls within and remained hidden from us.

It was still difficult for me to believe that I had a daughter. I never thought it would be possible. I had long ago given up on the notion – the thought hadn't occurred to me, even after I found Bella. We had been given something miraculous. _A true gift._

Almost on cue, Rosalie appeared in the doorway with Renesmee swaddled in her arms.

"Would you like to hold your daughter?" she asked, walking toward me.

I stood and took her from Rosalie's outstretched arms. She looked up at me with intelligent eyes and smiled as she reached her tiny hands toward my face. Her skin was porcelain, the same color Bella's had been, and the same blush I loved so much stained her round cheeks. I cradled her in my arms and leaned down, brushing my lips gently across her forehead.

I glanced up to see Rosalie running her fingers through Bella's hair, smoothing out the tangles. I watched with curiosity, my sister who, on the surface, seemed to have a singular uncaring focus. She felt my eyes on her and looked up.

_She'll be radiant. _"I'm happy for you both," she whispered, smiling. "I'm sorry for the way I've acted. It was never my intention to hurt you. I was only doing what Bella asked of me."

"I know."

"I know Bella chose me because I would understand what she wanted – because it was something I have wanted for myself just as desperately. And I know I've given Bella a hard time for the choices she's made, for her willingness to give up her humanity. But I think, through all this, I understand her a little better, too."

I could see the sincerity in her eyes and hear it in her voice. For all the horrible thoughts I had about my sister in the past weeks, her intentions were motivated not by selfishness, but by love. I turned my gaze back to the child in my arms and I couldn't imagine missing out on this. I nearly destroyed this tiny miracle in my ignorance and fear. She nuzzled in the crook of my arm and closed her eyes, her thoughts content.

"Thank you," I whispered, glancing up at Rosalie.

She nodded as she turned to exit the room. She stopped in the doorway and turned her head slightly. "I'm glad you see now that she was worth protecting."

She was so right. A pang of guilt stabbed my heart as I imagined what we would have missed out on had Bella conceded and allowed us to terminate the pregnancy. I sat back down at Bella's side and watched as Renesmee began to dream. It was a marvel to witness – who would have imagined such a child was possible. There was so much we could learn from her. Just by coming into this world, she had taught me so much.

I felt more at ease with her in my arms, like I was holding a piece of Bella next to my heart as I waited for her to return to me. Renesmee's warmth seeped through me. She was warm, like Bella, but her temperature appeared to run about ten degrees hotter. I brought her tiny hand to my lips and kissed her fingers. Her scent was similar to Bella's as well, though altered a bit through my genetic influence.

I eased back in the chair and closed my eyes, imagining that I could sleep as peacefully as Renesmee was, as still as Bella appeared to be. A blanket of calm surrounded me, no doubt a gift from my brother. I could feel myself sink deeper into the chair, deeper into a state of relaxation. It was the first release of tension I had felt in weeks.

I don't know how much time passed as Renesmee slept in my arms. Her dreams filled my head with thoughts of her mother, of Bella. A strong hand gripped my shoulder and I slowly opened my eyes. I turned my head to see a smiling Carlisle standing above me. There was wonder in his eyes, tinged with sadness and disappointment. _I'm so sorry I wasn't here._

I nodded, knowing there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. We had no way of predicting that Bella would go into labor while he was away. I shifted in my chair, easing Renesmee from the crook of my arm. Carlisle gazed at her with admiration and love. I stood up and held her out to him.

"Would you like to hold your granddaughter?"

**A/N: Thanks everyone for sticking with me on this long journey. This chapter was a challenge to get through – lots of emotions coming into play. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Thanks to my beta, Nellybear 85, and my good friend, misticbutterfly, for their continued help and support. I don't know what I'd do without them.**


	25. Chapter 25: Swan Song

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 25

Swan Song

Time passed far too slowly. Each tick of the clock echoed through the room, resounding deep within my bones, only accentuating the silence that had fallen over the house in the wake of Jacob's declaration. Anger still burned in the pit of my stomach, but there was little I could do. All manner of malevolent things I wanted do to Jacob swirled in my mind, but Bella would be angry with me if I harmed him. Although, when she awoke and discovered what had transpired, she may be apt to kill him herself.

It was in the moments that Carlisle held my daughter in his arms that my mind began to calm enough to resume its normal function. The singular focus required to save Bella was no longer required and the thoughts of the house began to filter through my mind once more. It was then that I listened to Jacob's mind – heard the unequivocal shift in his mindset. His thoughts, once scattered and volatile, were now converged in a single harmonious endeavor – the care and wellbeing of Renesmee. The deviation from his normal thought patterns puzzled me for a moment before the realization began to set in. I had seen this before – seen it in my dealings with the pack – in those who had imprinted. Jacob had _imprinted_…on _my_ daughter!

The concept still wouldn't settle in my brain. The notion of imprinting was arduous enough to fathom on a theoretical level, let alone trying to understand it when it involved someone so close – someone so_ important_. It was difficult to maintain any level of reason when the subject of the imprint was your own child.

I knew that I would be forced to endure some modicum of Jacob's presence in our lives due to his friendship with Bella, though a small part of me hoped that he would abscond the moment her heart stopped beating. And a part of me _really_ thought that he would. His thoughts were so despondent following the birth, so absolutely set on leaving and never coming back, that I in no way imagined he would stay, let alone fasten himself to us for eternity.

I shuddered at the thought. How strange – for him to go from being my rival for Bella's heart to being the one who would one day strive to earn the heart of my daughter. It would no doubt be a difficult and awkward discussion we could one day look forward to having with Renesmee.

I glanced up at the clock. I could swear that the hands had stopped. Nearly twenty hours had passed since the moment the venom began to work in Bella's body. I held her still fingers between my own, gently caressing her cool skin, a stark contrast to the scorching heat of venom I remembered all too well.

I pressed my lips to her hand and I could already feel the resistance, her soft human skin restructuring and hardening like my own. The change was visible throughout her entire body – her wounds were healed, her scars and bruises erased, even her hair had acquired a new luster. She was exquisite, but it still didn't feel right. I couldn't shake the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach that something had gone terribly wrong. Carlisle had assured me that I did everything right, that he couldn't have done any better himself, but no measure of reassurance would set my mind at ease. And I refused to leave her side until she would awaken and assuage my fears. Esme had nearly begged me to take my leave, if for nothing else than to hunt, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had promised to stay by her side, to be with her to usher her into the next phase of her existence, and I would keep my promise, no matter the cost to myself.

Jasper strolled in, leaning casually against the bookcase that held an extensive collection of medical journals. He did his best to hide it from me, but I caught a fleeting glimpse of Bella's emotional state before he squelched it, imposing an almost suffocating blanket of calm over me. Even that brief insight into her mind forced the air from my lungs before Jasper's influence compelled me into an unnatural state of tranquility. Although the thought of her in such distress threatened to cripple me, it did provide the tiniest amount of reassurance that the transition was proceeding normally.

Carlisle and Esme also appeared in the doorway, moving to stand by my side. Despite Jasper's efforts, I could feel a growing unease. They were doing their best to control their thoughts, preventing me from seeing something. But what?

Carlisle spoke first, but I heard his thoughts just as they preceded his words. "Jacob's back," he said.

A low growl rumbled in my chest at the mention of his name. At the same time, I could hear the opening and closing of the door downstairs, the loud thumping heartbeat, the whispered greeting. Footsteps echoed through the house, growing louder as they neared.

Jasper moved closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. Esme's eyes nervously flitted from the empty doorway to me, her concern growing as Jacob's footsteps drew closer. And then he appeared in the doorway, that familiar smug expression on his face, that same stench coming off of him in waves. His thoughts were calmer than they had been in weeks, but an edge of tension still tinged them as his eyes met mine.

I moved to stand, but Jasper's hand clamped firmly on my shoulder, forcing me back into my seat. _Stay put!_

"Hello, Jacob," Carlisle greeted him with a nod, holding out his hand.

Surprisingly, Jacob shook his hand without hesitation, nodding in return.

"What do you want, Jacob?" I growled.

"Edward," Esme chastised. _He's only trying to help._

"It's okay," Jacob waved her off. "I know I'm not his favorite person right now."

"What gave you that impression?" I shot back.

"Lucky guess," he snickered. _It's not like I asked for this, you know. It was involuntary. I couldn't help it. But it might explain…_

I let go of Bella's hand for fear of hurting her and leaned back, folding my arms across my chest. All eyes oscillated between Jacob and myself, concern tingeing their thoughts.

"I went to speak with Sam," Jacob continued.

"And?" I prompted.

"Nessie isn't in any danger. I explained the…um, _situation_." Jacob paused, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "The most important law we have regards the protection of those who have been imprinted on. And because I, well…"

Esme let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

"That _is_ good news," Carlisle agreed.

"And Bella?" I asked.

"The treaty hasn't been broken. I explained that I had given you permission to change Bella, to save her. Because I'm the rightful heir and would have been Alpha, Sam had no choice but to accept my decision. The pack isn't happy about the circumstances, but they will honor the treaty."

"Thank you, Jacob." Carlisle smiled, offering his hand to Jacob once more.

I unfolded my arms and, begrudgingly letting go of some of my pride, I nodded. "Yes, Jacob, thank you."

At that moment, Rosalie appeared in the doorway with Renesmee tucked in the crook of her arm. "It's time," she whispered to Carlisle.

Carlisle nodded and moved across the room to take the sleeping child from her arms. Where a human infant would receive a medical exam every few months, our daughter received hers every six hours. From conception to birth, her life measured barely a month, yet she was born at full term. So, it would stand to reason that her rate of growth would continue to be accelerated, much to the concern of everyone else around her. Carlisle was meticulous in his study and measurements, noting the growth and changes at regular intervals, trying to determine if the rate would slow. It worried me to see her growing so rapidly, changing by the minute. It was a stark contrast to Bella's agonizingly slow transformation.

"Another three-quarters of an inch…" Carlisle murmured under his breath. I watched his mind spin with calculations and projections.

I reached for Bella's hand once more, willing her to respond, but her fingers remained frozen. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, pressing my lips to her knuckles. I needed her here with me. I needed her to help me deal with all of these new emotions that were welling inside me, all the confusion and resentment regarding this new complication with Jacob and what it would mean for our daughter, all the worry that our daughter's life was fleeting and would disappear from this world as quickly as it arrived.

A fresh wave of calm washed over me. I glanced up at Jasper and he shrugged. _All in due time…for now, you need to try and relax. You're an emotionally jumbled mess._

"Thank you," I whispered.

"That's enough for now," Esme whispered as she scooped Renesmee up in her arms. She smiled and reached for Esme's face, eliciting a heart-warming smile in return. I smiled to myself as I watched the replay of memories and dreams in Esme's mind as our amazing daughter showed them to her. Something else we had discovered since her birth was Renesmee's ability, much like my own. Where I can hear the thoughts in someone's mind, she could place her own thoughts into theirs. She seemed to thoroughly enjoy having the chance to communicate in this way, to share her memories and thoughts with her family. It was quite a shock when she first shared her thoughts with Carlisle during one of his examinations.

Alice appeared in the doorway, her arms loaded with overstuffed shopping bags. She smiled widely at Esme. "Time for another photo shoot?" she beamed.

Esme chuckled and shook her head. As if Alice needed another excuse to shop, she had delighted in the arrival of our daughter and all the pretty little things she could buy for her. It didn't matter that she grew too quickly to wear any of the clothes more than once. Alice was determined that she would be the best dressed baby in the state and set out to record every moment she could on film. The pictures they had taken could already fill several albums.

It was a welcome distraction after the turmoil our house had been thrown in as of late. And it was good to have a record of this time – Bella would want to know all that she had missed while we waited for her to come back to us.

Esme and Alice disappeared from the room with the baby, but Jacob stayed behind. Jasper remained at my side as Carlisle took a seat in the chair across from me.

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Why don't you ask him?" I jutted my thumb at Jasper. "It's difficult to discern my true feelings when I'm having them forced on me."

Jasper rolled his eyes. _It's for your own good. _He turned to Carlisle. "He's a wreck," he muttered.

"I would imagine so." Carlisle nodded. "The events of the last day, of the last weeks even, have been more than anyone could be expected to bear. You should be grateful that Jasper has this ability and cares enough to help."

"I know," I sighed. "And I do appreciate it."

Jasper pursed his lips, suppressing a grin, and nodded.

_Time's a-wasting…_ Jacob thought.

"Is there something else?" I asked, peering past Carlisle to Jacob who still hovered in the doorway.

"I said I went to speak to Sam…"

"And?"

"And he came back with me – to speak with Carlisle, to smooth things over."

I could feel Jasper tense beside me. Surprised, Carlisle turned to face Jacob.

"He wishes to speak with me?" he asked.

Jacob nodded. "He's just outside the perimeter. I told Leah and Seth that he wasn't here to cause trouble, but they're keeping an eye on him. I don't know if he would be comfortable changing into human form. We might need…"

"No," I said flatly, knowing full well what Jacob would ask.

"Edward," Carlisle reasoned. "It would be very helpful if you would help translate." _Please be reasonable._

"I'm not leaving her. If he wants to speak with you, then tell him to _speak_."

Carlisle sighed and rose from his chair. "Can I get you anything?" he asked. _It's been weeks since you've hunted._

I shook my head. "No – not until she wakes."

"Edward," he pressed, his tone concerned. _Please._ "You may not want to speak to Sam, but you still need to – "

"I said _no_." I looked up, seeing the disappointment in Carlisle's eyes. "I've gone longer spans of time than this without hunting. It's only a couple more days. I'll be fine. I won't leave her."

Carlisle breathed a heavy sigh and shook his head. His worried thoughts hung heavy in the air even after he had left the room. Jacob still lingered in the doorway, his thoughts warring with one another.

_Can you promise me something?_

I arched an eyebrow.

_Let me tell Bella about…well, you know. _

"Why should I?" I scoffed.

_I think she'll take the news better from me. Coming from you…well, let's just say that you're a little biased._

I blew out a slow breath, not liking the idea of allowing Jacob to broach this subject with Bella. But I guessed that I owed him at least this one thing after all he had done for us. I could let him tell his side of the story, but Bella didn't necessarily have to agree with it. I sighed and nodded my assent.

Jacob nodded his thanks and disappeared from the room.

I laid my head down beside Bella's and laced my fingers with hers. Closing my eyes, I listened only to her heartbeat, to its steady, staccato rhythm, and waited for the time when it would be as silent as mine.

-x-

"Still no change?" Carlisle asked. _So unusual._

I raised my head. Carlisle held Bella's wrist between his fingers as he felt her pulse.

"None," I whispered, pressing my lips to her hand. More time had passed and Bella remained absolutely frozen. I had gone far past worry, to an indescribable place of agonizing concern, my thoughts tormenting me, taunting me that I had done something wrong, that I had done this to her.

"There's no scent of the morphine left," Carlisle commented.

"I know."

"Bella?" I whispered in her ear. "Can you hear me?"

I had spoken to her so many times over the hours, begged and pleaded with her to respond in some small way. But all my attempts were fruitless. It was a meaningless exercise now, merely something to pass the time. I had lost hope that she would respond to my voice, but still I pressed on.

"Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?"

I waited, watching her fingers as I held them in mine. Not a twitch, not even a quiver. _Nothing_.

"Maybe…Carlisle, maybe I was too late," I whispered, the words sticking in my throat.

He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Listen to her heart, Edward. It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so _vital_. She'll be perfect."

But there had been so much damage. "And her – her spine?"

Carlisle shook his head, memories of Esme lingering in his thoughts. "Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's. The venom will heal her as it did Esme."

"But she's so still. I _must_ have done something wrong."

He gripped my shoulder harder. "Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine."

"She must be in agony," I whispered.

"We don't know that. She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience."

I lowered my head, pressing my lips to her arm. The scar was gone, but the memory of every place marked with my teeth was seared in my memory. "Bella, I love you," I whispered, choking back a sob. "Bella, I'm sorry."

Carlisle paced the room, running over the measurements from Renesmee's last exam in his mind, comparing them to all the data he had gathered since her birth. Raised voices from downstairs drifted upward, the unmistakable intonation from Jacob and the scathing retort from Rosalie.

_Not again. Do you think you should…_

"No," I whispered. "I'm staying right here. They'll sort it out."

"An interesting situation," Carlisle remarked. "And I'd thought I'd seen just about everything."

I shook my head. "I'll deal with it later. _We'll_ deal with it." I pressed my lips to Bella's hand.

Carlisle chuckled. "I'm sure, between the five of us, we can keep it from turning into bloodshed."

"I don't know which side to take." I sighed, weary of the arguing. "I'd love to flog them both. Well, later."

"I wonder what Bella will think – whose side she'll take," Carlisle mused.

"I'm sure she'll surprise me." I ran the back of my hand along her cheek. "She always does."

-x-

I lifted my head as Alice strolled into the room with a garment bag draped over her arm.

"How much longer?" I asked.

"It won't be long now." She smiled, showing me a nearly clear picture of Bella waking. "See how clear she's becoming. I can see her so much better."

"Still feeling a little bitter?"

Alice scrunched her nose and huffed as she unzipped the garment bag and pulled out a pale blue silk gown. "Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up," she grumbled. "You would be mortified, too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature. I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans okay, because I was one. But I can't see these odd half-breeds at all because they're nothing I've experienced. Bah!"

The corner of my mouth ticked up at Alice's display. "Focus, Alice."

She shook her head. "Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now."

Alice closed her eyes a moment, focusing her mind on Bella. The picture was clearer, she was perfect. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"She's really going to be fine," I breathed, still hesitant to believe it.

"Of course she is," Alice scoffed as she carefully slipped the silk fabric over Bella's skin.

"You weren't so sanguine two days ago," I countered.

"I couldn't _see_ right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

"Could you concentrate for me? On the clock – give me an estimate."

"So impatient," she sighted. "Give me a sec –"

She closed her eyes once more, her mind focused on the clock in Carlisle's study. I watched as the hands spun around the clock's face, measuring the passage of time. To my surprised, the clock jumped forward six hours from now. I could feel the weight on my chest beginning to lift.

"Thank you, Alice."

She nodded and skipped toward the door. She stopped just inside the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame. "She's going to be dazzling."

"She always has been."

Alice snorted. "You know what I mean. _Look_ at her."

And she was right. The vision of Bella in Alice's mind was nothing short of perfection – everything I knew she was and everything she would become in this new life. It was difficult to believe that, in only a few short hours, our family would be complete. But the thought did give me pause. Bella would awaken as a newborn, with all the challenges that accompanied this life. I could hear Renesmee's fluttering heartbeat the floor below me and knew that we would have to take precautions. Bella would never forgive herself if she did something to harm our daughter, even by accident – not after everything she sacrificed and endured to bring her into this world.

My hand reached out, skimming the delicate fabric of the gown she now wore. _Blue_. Of course Alice would think to dress her in my favorite color. Even with the change in Bella's skin tone, the color still looked exquisite on her.

I ran my fingers through her hair, resting my palm on her cheek. I listened intently, hoping that with the change, her mind would also be altered, allowing me to finally see a glimpse into her thoughts. I was beginning to lose hope that whatever anomaly in her mind prevented me from hearing her innermost thoughts would be changed by the venom. It seemed that her mind would forever remain a mystery.

I laid my head down again, breathing slowly in and out, noting the diminishing aroma of the blood that once called so strongly to me. The scents of lavender and freesia still lingered, but they were forever altered by the venom that now pulsed through her veins.

Sounds drifted up the stairway, but I blocked them out, focusing my attention on the sound of Bella's beating heart. Even with Alice's predictions, her changing heart would be the best indicator of when she would awake. I listened intently, waiting for the beats to increase their tempo, before they would cease forever. I collected the sound of each heartbeat, storing them away in my perfect memory – a lasting tribute to a human life – the one I fell in love with, the one willing to sacrifice everything for her family.

Time continued to pass slowly, marked only by the changing sounds of life elsewhere in the house. In this room, we were unchanging. At least that was how it felt – like we were placed in a vacuum where time stood still, where the pain in my heart rippled through me at regular intervals. I could still taste the lingering flavor of Bella's blood on my lips. Even if she would come back to me, I still mourned the loss of her humanity, the loss of her soul.

And then something happened. The perpetual stillness of the room began to shift. I lifted my head as the sound of her heart began to increase in tempo. The steady beating gradually grew faster and faster until her heart was hammering in her chest at a speed much too quick for any human to endure. This was it – this was the end of our waiting. I squeezed her hand and could swear I saw the tiniest movement at the corner of her eyes.

"Carlisle," I called.

Mere seconds later, Carlisle came through the doorway, followed quickly by Alice.

"Listen," I said.

I could see the relief on Carlisle's face. Perhaps even he had some hidden doubts about her transformation. "Ah," he sighed. "It's almost over."

Alice nodded emphatically. "Soon. I'll get the others." _What about Renesmee? _ "Should I have Rosalie…?"

"Yes – keep the baby away."

The fingers I held tightly in my hands twitched ever so slightly. My breath stopped as I looked up at Carlisle, wondering if he had seen the movement as well. It was the first clear sign that she was still with me, that I hadn't destroyed her in my effort to save her. Both he and Alice were looking with wide expectant eyes, seeing the movement, and now listening to the ever increasing cadence of Bella's heart.

Shaking off the shock, I squeezed her hand in response and leaned over, whispering in her ear. "Bella? Bella, love?"

But she didn't respond. Her lips were just as silent as they had been. I looked up at Carlisle, but he shook his head lightly, his thoughts encouraging.

"I'll bring them right up," Alice said as she disappeared from the room.

I heard the hushed, excited voices as my family began filtering into the room, standing at the perimeter, Jasper standing in front. Rosalie and Jacob were absent, keeping Renesmee safe out of sight. I glanced up and Esme smiled across the room, her thoughts hopeful and relieved. Alice, too, was excited for Bella to awaken, bouncing anxiously on the balls of her feet. Jasper, of course, was wary, having much more experience with newborns than all the rest of us combined. I could feel the force of his power enveloping the room in a blanket of serenity – doing his best to create a non-threatening environment for when Bella awoke.

I squeezed Bella's hand again as I listened to hear heart – the sound so loud that I thought it might beat out of her chest. The corners of her eyes creased again and I watched helplessly as her back arched off the table, her body convulsing before slumping back down. I had seen this before with my other siblings, but it still didn't lessen the sting of having to watch my love endure it. I remembered the pain too well – an excruciating torment that I never wished her to experience.

I could feel the tension in her fingers and knew that she was in agony. I grimaced, a pang of guilt overwhelming me. _I did this to her._ No matter the result – it was my fault that she was forced to endure this now.

Nobody breathed. The room was silent as death as we listened to the rapid heartbeat come to a sudden halt. With two shuddering pulses, followed by a final quiet thump, her heart stopped. Nobody moved. All eyes were trained on Bella. Even the sounds in the remainder of the house had ceased as we all waited with baited breath for her to awaken.

Agonizing seconds ticked by. I dared not move, frozen in place. I watched intently, willing her eyes to open, willing her to respond.

And then she did.

**A/N: Based on some of the reviews and correspondence I've received over the last months, I gathered that most of you thought I had abandoned this story. That is definitely not the case. I can't apologize enough for the long wait between updates - life continues to be hectic and I write when I can, which sometimes means not at all. Thanks to those of you who haven't given up and who checked up on me, I really appreciate the support. I can't promise to update quickly, but can promise that I will continue to work on this story and see it to completion. Thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, and misticbutterfly for being my biggest cheerleaders and for keeping me on track when I sometimes veer off course.**


	26. Chapter 26: Awakening

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 26

Awakening

Bella's eyes opened slowly, the once chocolate brown now replaced by a vibrant ruby.

_She's awake._

_ See, Edward. I told you she would be perfect._

Jasper was on high alert, watching vigilantly for any movement while exuding as much calm throughout the room as he could manage. I, on the other hand, felt my body relax fully for the first time in weeks – the concerning weight on my mind disappearing the instant her eyes opened.

She stared above her, perfectly still, yet her eyes gazed above her in wonder. She inhaled a gasping breath, followed by another, her nostrils flaring as she took in the varied scents in the room. I remembered the disorientation of my first days of this life – everything was heightened to an almost unbearably intense degree. I had hoped that the transition might correct whatever anomaly in her mind kept me from hearing her thoughts. I longed to share this experience with her and see this new world through her eyes, but regrettably, her mind remained just as silent as it had been while she was human.

I squeezed her hand lightly, hoping to reassure her that she was not alone.

Her fingers stiffened and a low growl emanated through her clenched teeth as she leapt from the table, pressing her back against the wall in a defensive posture.

_Careful. Calm_, Jasper thought.

She stared back at me and her expression changed from anxious to confused. Her reaction was not unusual for a newborn. It was understandable that she would be disoriented and it could take some time before she began to feel like herself again – or at least this new version of herself. It was ridiculous, but I admit that it hurt to have her run from me. I extended my hand to her, demonstrating that I meant no harm.

Bella's eyes scanned the room, her newborn senses assessing the level of danger, her eyes lingering nervously on Jasper. Her gaze shifted to my outstretched hand and then her eyes met mine, widening with a mixture of recognition and awe. Her stance relaxed as she stared at me, our eyes locked as though we were seeing each other for the first time. I could feel the electricity sparking between us and absently wondered if the rest of our family could feel the charge as well.

I took a cautious step toward her, listening to Jasper's assessment of her emotions and keeping a wary eye on her body language. I did not expect that Bella would do anything to harm me, but newborns were often unpredictable and the disorientation could cause them to do things they wouldn't purposely do.

_Careful, Edward._

"Bella?" I whispered.

She continued to stare at me as I gradually advanced. Her muscles tensed marginally, eliciting a new bout of calm from Jasper, though it was a struggle for him to maintain while the level of tension in the room was so palpable.

"Bella, love?" I continued. "I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine."

The corners of her eyes pinched as they darted from face to face, as though she was searching for something. I took another cautious step toward her, reaching out a tentative hand. Jasper and Emmett tensed as my fingers glided across the smooth surface of her cheek. I marveled at the softness of it, now the same temperature as my own. The same familiar current of electricity hummed in my fingers and, though the warmth of her skin and the blush of her cheeks had vanished, she was still my Bella.

Her eyes searched mine. I wasn't sure what she was looking for. Reassurance? Answers to questions about this new life? I cupped her cheek, taking another step forward until we were nearly flush with one another. She inhaled abruptly and I saw a spark of recognition in her eyes, a look of devotion that I hadn't expected to see quite to soon into this new life. She stared at me, silent and breathtaking. She hadn't spoken a word since she awoke and I longed to hear how the change had altered her voice, if that too was something I would mourn the loss of.

And then I was home, wrapped in her embrace. She pressed herself against me, wrapping her arms around my neck and nuzzling her cheek against my chest. Jasper advanced, cautious and prepared to restrain her. I glanced over to him and shook my head infinitesimally. This was what I had waited for – the days of agony, the weeks of waiting as she slowly withered away before my eyes – she was finally whole again.

She wrapped her arms more tightly around me and I could feel the strength of her newborn muscles, like coiled steel cables holding me prisoner. I would gladly stay in the imprisonment of her arms, but admittedly, now that her strength was greater than my own, the only sensation more prevalent than the contentment of her embrace was the pain of it. Reluctantly, I shifted, attempting to lessen her grip, to ease the discomfort. She looked up at me, her eyes concerned and confused.

"Um…carefully, Bella," I whispered. "Ow."

She recoiled, taking a step back and placing her arms behind her. She looked up at me with a sheepish expression. "Oops," she mouthed.

_So controlled. Very out of character for a newborn. Though her emotions are everywhere…_

I smiled, both at her reaction and Jasper's assessment. "Don't panic, love," I reassured her. I reached out, eager to reestablish physical contact. "You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment."

The space between her eyebrows puckered and I could hear a bit of satisfaction in her thoughts through Jasper's ability. I'd venture to guess that, after being the weak, _human_, link for so long, it was gratifying to know that we were now on more equal footing. Bolstered by her display of control and emotion, I ran my fingers across her cheek again, awestruck by the beauty that had given so much for me. How had I been so lucky? After believing so completely that I had lost everything, to have my love stand before me with a look of such devotion in her eyes, I was overwhelmed with joy.

Her emotions were torn and scattered, flitting from one to the next, but the overall emotion dominating them all was love. I smiled as her hand reached up and her fingers slid delicately across my cheek. Her eyes met mine with a look so piercing, it was as though she could see into the depths of the soul she always believed still resided within me.

"I love you," she spoke. Her voice now had a musical lilt to it, a beautiful chorus of tone, and her first words of this new life couldn't have been more perfect. A wide smile broke across my face.

"As I love you," I replied.

I cupped her face in my hands and hesitantly moved closer, my lips eagerly searching for hers. It was reminiscent of our first kiss, though in that instance, it was I who needed to be careful not to harm her. Our lips touched and the humming electricity sparked, sending a current straight to my heart. Unable to contain my fervor, I pressed my lips more forcefully to hers. It was, for all intents and purposes, our first _real_ kiss. The years of restraint had built up within me and, to be able to display every ounce of my true passion for her, was a welcome relief.

She wrapped her arms around me, deepening the kiss. Her breath quickened and I could swear that Jasper was blushing from the emotional climate Bella was exuding. Judging by the other thoughts in the room, Jasper was having difficulty containing the emotions and they were beginning to seep out and affect everyone.

_Okay, okay, get a room! _Emmett cleared his throat.

Bella's lips stilled against mine and she immediately released me, taking a step back. Her eyes were cast downward, though the telltale blush I had come to love was absent. I chuckled at her reaction. Unwilling to let her go, I stepped with her, keeping her in my embrace.

She blew out a slow breath and looked up at me. "You've been holding out on me," she teased, arching an eyebrow.

I laughed at her response. "It was sort of necessary at the time," I reminded her. "Now it's your turn not to break _me._"

She frowned, eliciting a bout of laughter from everyone.

_So different, but still _so_ Bella._

_She's so controlled. I don't understand it._

_ Uncharacteristic of a newborn – perhaps it was her preparation…_

Carlisle moved closer, eager to ask about her transition, about her current state. Everything about her change and her reactions since she awoke had his mind reeling with theories and postulations. Perhaps everything we knew about what we are and how we came into this life was based on incorrect assumptions. He was enthusiastic about the prospect of examining Bella and questioning every aspect of her experience.

Jasper followed closely behind.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

She blew out a puff of air. "Overwhelmed. There's so _much_…"

He nodded. "Yes, it can be quite confusing."

She nodded emphatically in agreement. "But I feel like me. Sort of, I didn't expect that."

I squeezed her to me. I had tried to reassure her that she would still be herself after the transition, though even I was surprised that she seemed so much like her human self so quickly after her change. "I told you so," I whispered in her ear.

"You are quite controlled." Carlisle nodded. "More so than _I_ expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this." _It is quite astonishing…_

The corners of her eyes pinched as she thought briefly over Carlisle's comments. "I'm not sure about that," she hedged.

He nodded. _The morphine…I wonder. _"It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?"

"Everything was…very dim before. I remember the baby couldn't breathe…" Her gaze nervously turned to me, the question evident in her eyes.

"Renesmee is healthy and well," I assured her. "What do you remember after that?"

The space between her brows puckered, as though she were struggling to find the memory. "It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then…I opened my eyes and I could see _everything._"

"Amazing," Carlisle breathed. _Simply fascinating. If only we had known this sooner…I could have saved you all the pain of transformation._

Fueled by intrigue, Carlisle pressed on. "I want you to think – to tell me everything you remember." Her expression fell, displaying some level of discomfort.

_She's a newly awakened newborn. She needs to feed. _Jasper edged toward us half a step.

Carlisle also noted her uneasiness. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella," he apologized. "Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait."

Her eyes pinched and her hand pressed against her throat as she swallowed reflexively. I reached for her hand and began pulling her toward the open window. Then I said three words that I never imagined I would say to her. "Let's hunt, Bella."

A shocked expression flickered across her face.

"It's quite easy, love," I assured her. "Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you."

She was frozen in place. Though I was gently pulling her toward me, her muscles were locked in place. I looked at her expectantly. "I was under the impression that you'd always _wanted_ to see me hunt," I teased.

A peal of laughter bubbled up from her lips, but she stifled it with her hand before replacing it on her neck.

"Shall we?" I reached up and took her other hand so that I held both her hands in mine. "I don't want you to be hurting," I whispered.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm fine…." She hesitated, her brow furrowing in concentration. "Wait. First."

_The pain should be unbearable. I don't understand how she's so calm, so rational._

_ She needs to hunt. What is she waiting for?_

_ Isn't she supposed to be a newborn?_

Our family had a running commentary in their minds, but it was Carlisle who answered her. "Yes?"

Her eyes opened widely. "I want to see her. Renesmee." She pulled her hands away, resting them on her flattened stomach. Her eyes pinched and the fabric of her gown protested as she tugged it in her fists.

_It's not safe…not yet. We don't know how long it will be before Bella can see Renesmee. It's too soon to test her control._

I nodded in agreement with Carlisle's thoughts.

Bella looked up, glaring at the two of us. "What?"

I reached for her hand again. "Bella…that's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control…You don't want to put her in danger, do you?"

The space between her brows puckered, but as the seconds passed, she seemed to relax marginally.

"Where is she?" she asked. "Is Rosalie with her?"

_Rosalie…and the dog._ "Yes." I reached for her other hand and again started to tug her toward the window.

She resisted. "Wait. What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I…unconscious?"

_Poor Charlie…he's been so worried._

_ I can't wait 'til she hears the news…she's gonna rip Jacob to shreds._

_ We need to handle this delicately. It's an unusual predicament we find ourselves in._

I nodded, once again in agreement with Carlisle's thoughts. I was already on the verge of killing Jacob myself – when Bella found out about the imprint on our daughter, I wasn't sure what she might do, but the volatility of her newborn emotions did not bode well for Jacob.

Bella glanced nervously between us. "What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Nothing is _wrong_," Carlisle replied. "Nothing has changed much, actually – you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative – the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea." _And a brilliant idea it was. We have much to be thankful for, though there are still troubles awaiting you. _"Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme."

Bella lowered her eyes. "I should call him…" she whispered. I could see the sadness on her face as she thought of her father and all the worry this had put him through. A moment later her expression changed. "Hold on – Jacob is _still here_?"

_ Unfortunately. _I shot Carlisle a glare, warning him that now may not be the best time to explain to her exactly why Jacob was still here.

He nodded. _Let's not explain that to her just yet. First and foremost, she needs to feed._

"Bella," I urged. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain…"

She swallowed. "But Jacob –"

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love."

She thought for a moment, but finally nodded. "Okay."

_Oh no, not yet! _"Wait, wait, wait," Alice exclaimed as she moved to our side. "You promised I could be there the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?"

"Alice –" I groaned.

"It will only take a second!" she insisted as she ran from the room.

"What is she talking about?" Bella asked.

Before I could answer, Alice was coming through the door carrying a mirror twice her size. Jasper followed closely behind, wary of Alice's proximity to Bella.

"Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice explained. "I'm not going to be chewed out again."

"Chewed out?" Really, Alice?

She casually tossed a hand in the air. "Maybe I'm overstating things." She turned the mirror so that Bella could see her reflection.

"And maybe this had solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," I teased, eliciting a wink from Alice.

Bella stared at her new reflection and I listened with rapt interest to the play of her emotions through Jasper's thoughts. Perhaps now she would finally believe what I had been trying to convince her of all this time – that she was the most ravishing creature I had ever met, beautiful both inside and out.

"The eyes?" she whispered. Her stare didn't shift as she asked her question. She seemed trapped within her own gaze. "How long?"

"They'll darken up in a few months," I answered. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold." Though they would never again be the chocolate brown I had come to love. Thankfully, that trait would be preserved in the eyes of our daughter.

Her emotions were on edge, her voice anxious. "Months?"

_Careful – she's about to snap. _Jasper stepped forward, sensing the sudden stress in Bella's emotional climate. The urge to grab Alice and move her out of the threat of harm was in the forefront of his mind. But Alice remained calm, not seeing any danger in her immediate future.

Bella turned from her reflection and looked from me to Alice, seeming confused by Jasper's reaction and the fact that her question had gone unanswered. She took a deep breath and shook her head slightly. "No, I'm fine. It's just…a lot to take in."

Jasper took a startled step back. _Impossible! I've never seen this kind of control in a newborn. How is she doing this – controlling her emotions? _

_ Fascinating. A product of her preparation…or something more? Some unforeseen ability?_

"I don't know," I murmured, answering his unspoken question.

"What question did I miss?" Bella asked.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Bella always did the unexpected and, it seemed, the trend would continue in this new life as well. "Jasper wonders how you're doing it."

She frowned. "Doing what?"

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," Jasper answered. "I've never seen a newborn do that – stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

A concerned look crossed Bella's features. "Is that wrong?" she asked.

_Not exactly…_ "No," he replied.

"It's very impressive, Bella," I reassured her, "but we don't understand it. We don't know how long it can hold."

_Come on, give the girl some credit._ Alice tapped her foot impatiently. "But what do you think?" she asked, gesturing to the mirror.

Bella looked back at her reflection, tilting her head to the side as she examined her new self. "I'm not sure," she hesitated. She stared at her face in the mirror and I longed to hear what she was thinking. She raised her hand, as though she expected that her reflection was a trick and not the mirror image of herself.

I sighed, considering the improbable notion that she_ still_ didn't seem to see herself clearly.

She turned to look at me, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Disappointed?" she asked.

I laughed. "Yes."

_Edward!_

_ He should know better than to antagonize her._

Bella's face fell and I immediately regretted my joke. Alice and Jasper reacted even more strongly to my reply than Bella herself.

I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her cheek. "I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own. And here I am, frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head."

The corner of her mouth twitched upward. "Oh well, I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty."

"Bella, you have _never_ been merely pretty," I growled in her ear.

_It's preposterous to keep delaying – she needs to hunt. This is highly dangerous._

"All right, all right," I groaned.

"What?" she asked.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted."

Bella looked over at Jasper and nodded. "Okay. Let's hunt."

I smiled, taking her hand in mine and leading her toward the open window.

She looked at me skeptically and then looked down at the ground below.

"The window?" she asked, looking nervous.

"It's the most convenient exit," I explained. "If you're frightened, I can carry you." Not that I would mind having the chance to cradle her against me. It had been so long that it felt painful when some part of me wasn't touching her.

She made a face. "We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?"

_Aww, is little Bella afraid of heights?_

_ No, the baby…_

I frowned. "Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs…"

"Oh." She looked out the window again, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. "Is Renesmee…okay…with Jacob there? He doesn't like her much?"

_Oh, I wouldn't say that. Can't wait until she finds out…that should be good._

The reminder of the wolf who imprinted on our daughter set me on edge. It was a conversation I was not looking forward to, though Emmett seemed to be looking forward to it with much anticipation.

"Trust me, she's perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking."

_Those thoughts must be interesting._

"Of course," she murmured, looking out the window again. I stole a warning glance at Emmett when she wasn't looking and he shrugged, chuckling lightly.

_Come on bro, you gotta admit, it is kindof funny._

I fought the urge to growl as I turned back to Bella. "Stalling?" I asked, anxious to get on with the hunt and away from the silent jibes from my brother.

"A little," Bella hedged. "I don't know how…"

"Watch me," I offered, stepping out into the open air and landing on the ground below. I looked up at the open window, waiting for her to follow. She stepped up to the edge, her face set in concentration. I fought the urge to reach out to catch her – the memories of her human self still so fresh in my mind.

She stepped out the window and seemed to float down to the ground until she landed gracefully on her feet. I watched in awe, seeing the transformation that had changed her from an awkward, stumbling human to such an elegant creature. She smiled. "Right. Easy."

_Wow, would you look at that._

_ Looks like the venom changed a lot more than just her look._

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"That was quite graceful – even for a vampire."

Her grin grew wider. "_Thank_ you." If she were still human, I was sure her cheeks would be flushed. She looked down and removed her shoes, tossing them back up through the window. Jasper, who was closest to the window, caught them easily.

_Seriously, Bella?_ Alice groaned. "Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance."

I took her hand and smiled as I began to run. She kept pace with me easily – a stark contrast from the way we had travelled together before. We crossed the back yard in seconds and stopped at the banks of the river.

She looked puzzled. "Are we swimming?"

"And ruin your pretty dress? No. We're jumping."

She looked across the river, seeming to judge the distance. She looked back at me. "You first."

I reached up and smiled, stroking her cheek. I took two steps back and then leaped across the river, feeling free as the air whizzed past my ears. I turned a flip just before I landed in the trees on the other side.

"Show-off," I heard her mutter under her breath.

I laughed and waited, watching for her to cross. I heard her footsteps, followed by the sound of tearing fabric. Confused, I listened and heard another sound of ripping fabric. I heard laughter from the house and could see through the eyes of my family that Bella had altered her dress, likely to make it easier for jumping. Only Alice would think to dress her in something as impractical as a gown for her first hunt, though Alice might not have considered that Bella would be hunting in the dress when she chose it for her.

I watched Bella through their eyes, waiting for her to join me on the other side of the river. She stood stock still and I wondered what she was waiting for. Was she afraid? "Bella?" I called. "Do you want to watch again?"

My voice seemed to snap her out of whatever stupor she had found herself in because the next moment she was flying through the air, just as graceful as before, and then she was gone. She was out of sight, though I could still hear her laughter. Her leap had been at least twice the distance of mine and I had to run to catch up.

She was still high in the air, standing on a branch above. She leaped from the branch and landed at my side, smiling widely.

"Was that good?" she asked.

I nodded. "Very good." Surprisingly good – this was going to take some getting used to.

"Can we do it again?" she asked with enthusiasm.

"Focus, Bella – we're on a hunting trip," I reminded her, still finding it odd how a newborn could think of anything else other than their thirst.

"Oh, right." She nodded. "Hunting."

"Follow me...if you can." We had never run together like this before. I smiled at the thought – excited to share this new experience with her. I broke into a sprint, running headlong into the deep forest. My focus was split between watching Bella as she ran to catch up with me and searching the forest around us for the presence of any humans. I led her deep into the wilderness where I was relatively certain we would be unlikely to encounter any temptations, and the wildlife was more plentiful the further we traveled from civilization as well.

It took no time at all for Bella to catch up with me. The strength in her newborn legs propelling her forward until her stride began to match my own. I glanced over and her smile was radiant. She gazed around her in wonder and light laughter pealed from her lips. I longed to see into her thoughts, to know what she was thinking. For most of us, we knew nothing of this life before it was thrust upon us. But for Bella, she was aware of so much more before she decided to take on this new life. She was privy to knowledge before her change that likely gave her a unique perspective, a comparison between how she viewed vampires as a human and how she experienced being one now.

Moments later, Bella was beginning to pull away with me, traveling much faster than I was. I had to push myself just to keep up which, admittedly, was a new experience for me. I was so accustomed to being the fastest; it was rare that I would be the one falling behind. We continued on for miles until I began to wonder if Bella had again forgotten why we were out here. I came to a halt and called out for her.

"Bella."

I heard a soft sigh in the distance and, a moment later, she was at my side, smiling angelically.

"Did you want to stay in the country?" I teased. "Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?"

"This is fine." She paused, seeming briefly distracted. "What are we hunting?"

"Elk. I thought something easy for your first time..."

She seemed skeptical, but eager. "Where?" she asked, her eyes scanning the forest.

I reached up, placing my hands on her shoulders. "Hold still for a minute." She stopped, stone still. "Now close your eyes. Listen. What do you hear?"

I waited patiently. For a newborn that was only hours old, listening to the clamor of noises that her new heightened hearing allowed could be quite confusing. It could take some time for her to filter through all the noise to determine the sound she was looking for. I remembered Carlisle when he tried to teach me – we had to travel miles and miles away from civilization so that I could separate the sounds of the forest from the din of thoughts that normally filled my head.

"By the creek, to the northeast?" she asked.

_Very good._ "Yes. Now...wait for the breeze again and...what do you smell?"

A moment later, her nose wrinkled. The elk's blood would sate her thirst, but it was definitely not what her newborn body desired. It would be an acquired taste.

"I know," I laughed. "It takes some getting used to."

"Three?" she guessed.

"Five. There are two more in the trees behind them."

"What do I do now?" she asked, sounding nervous and unsure.

"What do you feel like doing?"

I watched as her nostrils flared and her head inclined toward the sounds of the elk nearby. Her fingers twitched with anxious energy as she opened her eyes.

"Don't think about it," I told her, dropping my hands. "Just follow your instincts."

She began moving, gracefully stalking her prey like the apex predator she was. The sound of rushing water grew louder as we neared. She crouched down as the elk came into view. I could see her eyes focused on the hunt. This was certainly not the Bella I remembered, the one I would never have dared allow on a hunt. As strange as this new experience must be for her, it was stranger still for me to witness such a disparity between her human self and this new lithe and dangerous creature.

She was motionless as she stalked her prey. The elk drank from the stream, utterly oblivious to our presence. I watched her dip slightly, her body coiling, preparing to strike. The wind changed, blowing stronger from the south. The elk looked up, the wind blowing our scent its way and makng it aware of our presence. But it wasn't just the scent of vampires on the currents of air. No, I could smell something else, something dangerous, and something out of place in the deep forest. _A human._

Almost in slow motion, I watched Bella's demeanor change absolutely. She caught the new scent and her attention was immediately focused, the elk all but forgotten. And then, more quickly than I ever imagined, she disappeared from sight, running toward this new scent, toward something so much more mouth-watering than animal blood. _Human blood._ I took off after her, struggling to keep up. With her newborn strength and speed greater than my own and the call of human blood drawing her away, I could only push myself and pray that I caught up to her in time...before she did something we would both regret.

**A/N: I hope that everyone had a wonderful and blessed holiday season. And I hope that everyone enjoyed watching the final Twilight movie as much as I did. I laughed, I gasped, I cried..and cried…and…you get the idea. It was great to see on the big screen (many times over) and it definitely gave me fuel to continue writing. I promise to do my best not to let the movies influence my writing and stick to the books as they were written.**

**Apologies for not updating sooner, but life was, as predicted, hectic. Thanks to my writing partner, misticbutterfly, I'm still sticking to my weekly writing schedule. So, even though I don't update as often as I'd like, I still continue to work on this story for at least a couple of hours every week. And thanks to my beta, Nellybear85, for sticking with me all these years. You gals are the best!**


	27. Chapter 27: Test

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 27

Test

Bella blurred through the forest, swiftly moving toward her new target. I grimaced as I thought of the guilt she would bear if she caught up to the human before I could stop her. I pushed myself as fast as my legs would carry me, but she was faster still, gradually moving out of my reach. Panic began welling in my chest as I mentally chastised myself for not making absolutely certain that there were no humans within our hunting radius. The freedom of running and the joy of watching her test the limits of her new body had distracted me and, ultimately, the unsuspecting human would pay the price for my negligence.

I could already hear the unwitting thoughts of the hiker in the distance. His heart beat steadily, unaware of the danger that was approaching. The thrumming heartbeat pounded in my ears, filling me with dread. Another sound, a hissing, echoed through the trees and, by some miracle, Bella seemed to be slowing. I ran faster, not willing to let this opportunity to overtake her pass me by.

Then, all at once, she spun around to face me, snarling and crouching in a defensive posture. I watched her carefully, lifting my palms to show that I meant her no harm. A newborn in mid-hunt could not only be dangerous to a human, but dangerous to me as well. Though, the threat of Bella harming me was the least of my worries in that moment.

She stared at me for several beats before her body relaxed and her back straightened. I could see the strain in her jaw, a clear indicator that she was fighting hard against her nature. I lowered my hands and took a tentative step toward her.

"I have to get away from here," she hissed through gritted teeth.

_She has to…_ I couldn't hide my disbelief. I had never seen a newborn react this way before – I thought that her actions in the house might have been a fluke, but perhaps it was something more. "_Can_ you leave?" I asked, still amazed that she was in a right enough mind to even have a civil conversation with the scent of human blood lingering in the air.

Her ruby eyes flitted to mine before they narrowed and she sprinted past me in the direction we had traveled from. She seemed to be running just as quickly, if not faster than before, and I had to fight to keep up. As the scent of human blood diminished across the distance, my amazement grew. How was a newborn able to stop and think rationally when faced with such temptation? I always knew that Bella was special, but this went beyond all my expectations.

Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't notice when I passed her. She had stopped mid-stride and was standing stock still, a look of deep contemplation on her face. I jogged back toward her, placing my hands on her shoulders. I searched her eyes, seeing only Bella, not the feral newborn we had all expected.

"How did you do that?"

"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" she accused.

I shook my head, undeterred. "Bella, how did you do it?"

She looked puzzled. "Run away? I held my breath."

"But how did you stop hunting?"

"When you came up behind me…I'm so sorry about that." She lowered her eyes, kicking up some decaying leaves with her toes.

I gaped at her. "Why are you apologizing to _me_? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! _You_ have nothing to apologize for."

Her wide eyes met mine again. "But I growled at you!"

I fought the urge to chuckle. "Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away."

She shrugged. "What else could I do? It might have been someone I know!"

Her cavalier attitude toward something that should have been the ultimate test of a vampire's control caught me off guard. But I should have known that she would be nothing like I had expected – everything about her was an anomaly. After all the worry about her change, after all the concern that it would be years before we could begin an actual life together, it seemed that fate had decided that we had waited long enough for our lives to start. Relief mixed with astonishment flooded through me and I couldn't hold back my laughter any longer.

_"Why are you laughing at me?"_ she demanded.

I stopped short, hearing the anxiety in her voice. "I'm not laughing at you, Bella," I reassured her. "I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed."

Her eyes narrowed and she cocked her head to the side. "Why?"

"You shouldn't be able to do any of this." I threw out my arms in a wide, encompassing gesture. "You shouldn't be so…so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should _not _have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air_._ Even mature vampires have difficulty with that – we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old."

Her eyes had widened as I rambled on and her look of confusion turned to surprise. "Oh," she managed.

I crossed the space between us and placed my hands on either side of her face, gazing into the fathomless depths of her eyes. She was an enigma, my own personal mystery that I may never fully understand. "What wouldn't I give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment," I sighed.

She stared back at me and lifted her hand, her fingers tentatively caressing my face. "I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time?" she whispered, almost hesitant. "But I still _want _you."

Again, I found myself at a loss for words. Not only was a newborn, only hours into this life, rationally discussing her desire not to harm a human, but she still had not fed since she awoke and she was thinking about…_that_? How was this possible? "How can you even concentrate on that?" I asked. "Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. The muscles in her throat flexed with the reminder of her thirst. I stepped back, allowing her to focus her senses. Seconds later, she began running again, though not nearly at the full tilt she had run just moments ago. This stride was purposeful, yet cautious. I noted that she continued to travel away from the human that had nearly crossed our path.

I chased after her, climbing toward the mountain summit. The trees gave way to more rocky terrain and I could already sense the predator she was hunting. My breath hitched when I caught a glimpse of the mountain lion perched in the nearby trees. As graceful as the cat itself, Bella lithely propelled herself into the branches above, giving her a better vantage point. She moved without effort, stalking her prey like the dangerous and beautiful predator that she was.

It took a concerted effort to hold myself back, overwhelmed as I was by the urge to protect her. As powerful as she might be, the thought of her tangling with such a dangerous creature set my teeth on edge.

She was focused intently on the hunt, her movements mirroring those of the lion. She was as graceful as a jungle cat and far more dangerous. Then, in the blink of an eye, she dove downward, landing on the back of the large feline. The lion's roars echoed through the forest, only to be outdone by the sounds of breaking branches as, together, they crashed to the forest floor.

I secured myself against the trunk of a nearby tree, digging my fingers into the soft bark in an effort to hold myself there. I had to continually remind myself that she didn't need my help, didn't need my protection. The sight of the lion's claws ripping her dress to ribbons was too much and I had to close my eyes to keep myself from interfering.

The cat's roars turned to low groans before finally cutting off in a quiet gurgle. I allowed my eyes to open again and I saw Bella, her dress in tatters, a smear of blood on her lips and trailing the length of one arm. I folded my arms across my chest in attempt to appear like a calm observer.

"Hmm," I muttered to myself. She glanced up at me, smirking sheepishly as she took stock of her appearance.

"I guess I could have done that better," she murmured.

"You did perfectly fine. It's just that…it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been."

She arched an eyebrow.

"It goes against the grain," I explained, "letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack the whole time."

"Silly," she scoffed.

I shrugged. "I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though." I gestured to what remained of the gown Alice had dressed her in. The evidence of the venom's effects on her once human body were clearly visible – not a trace of the damage done to her by the pregnancy or delivery.

She looked down at herself, grasping the hem of the garment between her fingers and sighing. "Why am I still thirsty?" she asked.

"Because you're young."

She rolled her head to the side and sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby."

I shook my head. "Plenty of deer, though," I offered.

She wrinkled her nose. "They don't smell as good."

"Herbivores," I explained. "The meat-eaters smell more like humans."

"Not that much like humans."

"We could go back," I teased. "Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it. In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you."

She rolled her eyes. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores."

I chuckled and ran past her. She followed until we were side by side, sprinting through the forest again. It wasn't long before we came upon a herd of deer and, this time, I joined her in the hunt. Not only could I take the opportunity to sate my thirst, but it would keep me occupied so I wouldn't needlessly fret over her as she hunted.

As the deer fell from my hands, I turned to look at Bella. She was staring at me, one corner of her lip curved up in a smirk.

"No longer thirsty?" I asked.

She shrugged. "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am."

"Centuries of practice." I smiled.

"Just one."

I chuckled. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?"

"Done, I think," she answered, folding her arms across her belly. Her face was pensive for half a second as she was once again lost in thought. Then her eyes met mine. "I want to see Renesmee."

I smiled and held my hand out to her. She grasped it eagerly and lifted her other hand to my face. I still couldn't wrap my mind around all that had happened in the last several days. My human wife had given birth to a miraculous child, I nearly lost her, and days later she awoke as a new vampire, but seemingly without all of the usual turmoil and mayhem that normally accompanies the transition.

Electricity flowed from her fingers through my skin. Could we have everything we dreamed of having together so quickly? Could all of the waiting and concern over her transition have all been for naught? Warmth spread through me and the electricity sparked between us, as it always had, but now with even more intensity than ever before. She was beautiful. She was strong. And she was _mine_.

I couldn't hold back any further as I wrapped my arms around her, crushing her to me, and pressing my lips to hers. I no longer needed to be careful, no longer needed to worry about holding back. Her fingers knotted in my hair as she eagerly responded to my advances. I held her tighter still, never wanting to let go of what I had nearly lost. All of the emotions that built up inside me while I waited for her to awake poured out of me, fueling my desire.

She responded in kind, though she still didn't yet grasp the disparity between her strength and mine. The next moment, I found myself pinned to the forest floor, though I couldn't describe it as an unpleasant sensation.

"Oops," she muttered. "I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"

I chuckled and reached up to stroke her cheek. "Slightly better than _okay_." I looked into her eyes, trying to read her expression, to determine what she wanted. She had asked about our daughter, but my advances seemed to have veered us off course. "Renesmee?" I asked tentatively.

She thought for a moment, her eyes clouded as she fought to decide between her warring desires. "Renesmee," she finally agreed as she stood to her feet and reached for my hand to pull me up beside her.

We began to make our way back to the house. Admittedly, even with the display of restraint during her first hunt, I was hesitant to have Bella so near our daughter, fearful that the blood flowing in her veins would prove too much of a temptation. Of course, I should know better by now to question Bella's abilities. She proved time and again that she was anything but conventional. She would prove us all wrong.

"Tell me about her," she asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

How do you describe a miracle? "She's like nothing else in the world," I replied. She was absolutely unique, one of a kind.

"How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway."

I smiled, thinking of the traits I had mourned the loss of in Bella that now lived on in our daughter. "It seems a fairly even divide."

"She was warm-blooded," Bella offered.

"Yes," I agreed, surprised that she would recall this fact when the first meeting between mother and daughter had been so tumultuous. "She has a heartbeat, though it runs a little bit faster than a human's. Her temperature is a little bit hotter than usual, too. She sleeps."

"Really?"

"Quite well for a newborn. The only parents in the world who don't need sleep, and our child already sleeps through the night." I chuckled to myself.

"She has exactly your color eyes – so that didn't get lost, after all." I smiled. "They're so beautiful." Renesmee was the embodiment of everything precious and human that Bella possessed. It was as though her most perfect attributes were specifically selected and preserved within our progeny.

"And the vampire parts?" she asked.

"Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that." Although the thought of routine immunizations had passed through Carlisle's mind, only to be dismissed the next moment in light of her vampire heritage.

Bella stared at me and I had to wonder what she was thinking.

"Of course no one would," I assured her. "Her diet…well, she prefers to drink blood. Carlisle continues to try to persuade her to drink some baby formula, but she doesn't have much patience with it. Can't say that I blame her – nasty-smelling stuff, even for human food." Emmett, more than anyone, seemed to thoroughly enjoy watching Renesmee thwart Carlisle's attempts, as it often resulted in whatever he was offering being thrown back with foul consequences.

Bella slowed, our joined hands impeding my pace. I turned back to her to see the confused expression on her face. "Persuade her?" she asked.

I smiled. "She's intelligent, shockingly so, and progressing at an immense pace. Though she doesn't speak – yet – she communicates quite effectively."

I watched Bella's face as she processed my words, confusion and concern flitting across her features. "Doesn't. Speak. _Yet_."

Bella was deep in thought, trying to make sense of everything. If she were still human, I fear that this would all be too much for her. As it was, the confusion of the transition compounded by our unique situation, it was still a wonder she could cope at all.

"What do you mean, she communicates effectively?" she asked.

"I think it would be easier for you to…see for yourself. It's rather difficult to describe."

She nodded, resuming our earlier pace. We walked in silence for a short time as I allowed her time to think. Becoming a mother and a vampire in such a small span of time must be quite a shock. Even though she had quite some time to plan for one, she was given little time to prepare for the other, or for the possibility of experiencing both simultaneously.

She broke the silence. "Why is Jacob still here?" she asked.

My jaw clenched reflexively.

"How can he stand it? Why should he?" she asked, her voice wavering slightly. "Why should he have to suffer more?"

I'd like to make him suffer. "Jacob isn't suffering," I replied in a clipped tone. "Though I might be willing to change his condition."

"Edward!" she reproved, pulling me to a stop. "How can you say that? Jacob has given up _everything_ to protect us! What I've put him through – !" The corners of her eyes pinched at the pain of the memory.

"You'll see exactly how I can say that," I murmured. "I promised him that I would let him explain, but I doubt you'll see it much differently than I do. Of course, I'm often wrong about your thoughts, aren't I?"

She stared back at me and I wondered briefly if I had said too much. Did it matter? She would find out soon enough.

"Explain what?" she demanded.

I shook my head. "I promised. Though I don't know if I really owe him anything at all anymore…"

The space between her brows puckered. "Edward, I don't understand."

I reached over, cupping her cheek. I smiled as she leaned into my touch, her confusion all but erased – newborns are so easily distracted. "It's harder than you make it look, I know. I remember."

She frowned. "I don't like feeling confused."

"I know. And so let's get you home, so that you can see it all for yourself." My eyes scanned down the length of what used to be her dress, now revealing more skin than it covered. After everything Bella had been through up to this point, we didn't need to add embarrassment to that list. I swiftly removed my shirt and held it out for her.

"That bad?" she asked.

I grinned. I rather liked the current state of her dress, but I didn't think Alice would appreciate the sentiment and I doubted that Bella wanted to display that much of her new vampire body to our family, or to Jacob. She shrugged the shirt over her shoulders and buttoned it up.

She looked up and smiled with a glint of mischief in her eyes. "I'll race you," she said, "no throwing the game this time!"

I let go of her hand and crouched in a runner's stance, grinning up at her. "On your mark…"

Before I said another word, she shot off in the direction of the house. I ran behind, but quickly passed her. There was a clear distinction from the last time I had chased her, vastly different than the frenzied hunt driven by her bloodlust. It wasn't until we reached the river that her newborn strength bested my speed as she launched herself over the river at twice the distance I could manage.

"Ha!" she laughed as she reached the other side before me.

As I sailed through the air, I caught sight of Jacob standing a short distance away from her. She had not turned to see him yet, but I feared what she might do when she caught his scent. I landed beside her, gripping the tops of her arms tightly.

"Don't breathe," I whispered.

She complied, but looked nervously around her until her eyes fell on Jacob. She stiffened slightly at the sight of him, no doubt her fears now matched my own. As much as I would like to harm Jacob, I didn't want Bella to bear that kind of guilt.

Jacob stared across the space, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. _It's game time_, he thought.

"Carefully, Jacob," I warned. Leah's growl echoed my sentiment. "Maybe this isn't the best way –"

_Please._ "You think it would be better to let her near the baby first?" he scoffed. "It's safer to see how Bella does with me. I heal fast." _And I'm not willing to take that chance with Nessie._

Bella's shoulders tensed and she looked nervously at me. I could see the panic and confusion in her eyes. I wanted to protect her from harming him, but if Jacob wasn't wary enough to protect himself, there wasn't much I could do. I shrugged. "It's your neck, I guess."

_Stupid leech, _Leah growled even louder.

Bella flinched and lowered her eyes. She didn't understand my impatience with Jacob, but she would soon enough. She bit her lip nervously as she raised her gaze and stared across the yard at Jacob. Her body seemed to relax the moment he smiled at her. No doubt she was worried about how he would feel about her now that she had become the thing he hated most.

_She almost looks like her, but…man, look at those eyes._ "I gotta say it Bells," he said with a grin. "You're a freak show."

"Watch yourself, mongrel," I growled.

_Oh, come on._

"No, he's right. The eyes are really something, aren't they?" Bella replied.

He nodded. "Super-creepy. But it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"Gee – thanks for the amazing compliment!"

_Yup, that's Bella alright. _He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You still look like you – sort of. Maybe it's not the look so much as…you _are_ Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He laughed. "Anyway, I guess I'll get used to the eyes soon enough."

"You will?" Bella asked, surprised.

_Oops…I guess he didn't tell her yet. Gotta admit, I'm surprised._ His gaze briefly flitted to me. "Thanks. I didn't know if you'd be able to keep it from her, promise or not. Usually, you just give her everything she wants."

I smirked. "Maybe I'm hoping she'll get irritated and rip your head off."

_I'd like to see her try_, he scoffed.

Bella looked between the two of us. "What's going on? Are you two keeping secrets from me?"

"I'll explain later." Jacob waved his hand dismissively. "First, let's get this show on the road." He uncrossed his arms, holding his arms rigidly at his sides and slowly started to move toward us.

_He's gonna get himself killed._ Leah edged into sight, clearly upset by Jacob's plan.

_This could be bad._ Seth whined, following closely behind her.

"Cool it, guys," Jacob dismissed them. "Stay out of this."

They maintained a wide distance, but still followed his movements, afraid to leave too much space between them. Bella shivered as he neared and she looked nervously at me.

"C'mon, Bells. Do your worst," Jacob dared.

Bella stiffened and leaned into me.

_Any day now. _"I'm getting older here, Bella," he teased. "Okay, not technically, but you get the idea. Go on, take a whiff."

She looked anxiously up at me. "Hold onto me."

I tightened my grip on her arms and she stiffened in a rigid pose, digging her heels into the ground to anchor herself. Her nostrils flared infinitesimally as she inhaled a tentative sniff. She paused before taking a larger breath and then relaxed. "Huh. I can see what everyone's been going on about. You stink, Jacob."

I burst into laughter, amused and pleased by the results of Jacob's test. She seemed to have no problem resisting the call of his beating heart or the scent of his blood. And, as much as I wanted to harm Jacob myself, I admittedly enjoyed at least the insult on his behalf. She may have even more choice words for him when she discovers that he imprinted on our daughter. My laughter was coupled with Seth's and several others from within the house, all who seemed quite amused with the display outside.

_Gee, thanks. _"Look who's talking," Jacob scoffed, pinching his nose dramatically.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled my nose in the crook of her neck. "I love you," I whispered. She was doing amazingly well and there was little doubt in my mind that she could see Renesmee without incident. I wondered errantly if there was anything she couldn't accomplish.

"Okay, so I passed, right?" she asked, looking from Jacob to me. "Now are you going to tell me what this big secret is?"

_Umm…about that…_ Jacob shifted his weight on the balls of his feet and his heartbeat increased. "It's nothing you need to worry about this second…" he edged nervously.

_I can't wait._ Emmett laughed.

Bella briefly looked puzzled before she was seemingly distracted by something. Then she whispered. "Renesmee." She smiled, but then stiffened suddenly. I could see the concern etched across her features.

"Come and see," I urged her, squeezing her for reassurance. "I know you can handle this."

Her brow furrowed as she looked up at me. "You'll help me?" she whispered.

I nodded. "Of course I will."

"And Emmett and Jasper – just in case?"

"We'll take care of you, Bella," I encouraged. "Don't worry, we'll be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think you'll be surprised at how entirely she's already wrapped us all around her little fingers. She'll be perfectly safe, no matter what."

She relaxed marginally and took a cautious step toward the house.

_Maybe this isn't such a good idea_, Jacob worried. _It might be too soon._ He stepped in front of us, blocking our way. "Are you _sure_, bloodsucker?" he questioned, concern seeping into his voice. "I don't like this. Maybe she should wait –"

Bella looked bewildered as her eyes flitted between us.

"You had your test, Jacob," I growled.

_I just don't think…_ "But –," Jacob began.

"But nothing," I cut him off. "Bella needs to see _our_ daughter. Get out of her way."

_Please don't hurt her_, he thought as he looked pleadingly at Bella before turning and running back toward the house.

I growled under my breath. It didn't matter – imprint or not – Renesmee was _our_ daughter and it was our responsibility to make sure that she was protected. Jacob should know that if I had any inkling that Bella would be a danger to Renesmee, I wouldn't allow her near her until I was sure that she was ready. For him to question my judgment as a father set my teeth even further on edge than they already were.

Bella's confused gaze followed Jacob into the house and she looked questioningly at me.

"Shall we?" I asked.

She nodded nervously.

I grasped her hand in mine and took slow, measured steps toward the house.

Everyone was waiting just inside, all equally excited and wary for the meeting that was about to take place. Rosalie stood with Renesmee in her arms near the back of the room, strategically placed, no doubt by Jasper, with a buffer of everyone between Bella and the baby and the door just behind her in the case of a hasty or necessary exit. I fought the urge to growl when Jacob moved to join Rosalie at the rear of the room.

_Careful. Watch her._

_ What in heaven's did she do to her dress?!_

_ I don't like this. One false move and I'm gonna…_

I was thankful that Bella couldn't hear the stirrings of doubt and concern in the room. Though, seeing the look of wonder on her face as she stared at our daughter across the room, I doubted she would even take note if they voiced their worries aloud. She seemed transfixed as she stared across the small space.

Renesmee leaned forward in Rosalie's arms as though she could force her way to her mother, her wide eyes gazing questioningly. Bella continued to stare, likely trying to connect the child before her to the memory of the one born just days before. Renesmee seemed to be doing the same, running through the memories she had of Bella just after her birth and during the days while she waited for her to awaken.

"I was out just two days?" Bella breathed.

Renesmee wriggled in Rosalie's arms, struggling to reach out to Bella. Then she turned, placing her hand on Rosalie's neck, playing a series of images for Rosalie, questioning if the woman standing before her was indeed the mother she had been waiting for.

Rosalie smiled and patted her hand. "Yes, that's her," she replied.

Renesmee stared at Bella a moment longer with wide eyes, recognition and realization dawning, as her mouth stretched in a wide grin.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to getting to know Renesmee better in the coming chapters. Yes, I'm a broken record – sorry for the long time between updates. I have been writing on a pretty regular basis, thanks to misticbutterfly, but I had to take an unintended break thanks to my computer who decided to die on me. Thankfully, I'm back up and running and raring to go. Thanks, as always, to Nellybear85 and misticbutterfly who are an endless source of encouragement and support. **

**And thanks to YOU for sticking it out with me and continuing to read and review.**


	28. Chapter 28: Introductions

**Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series' characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from Breaking Dawn, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.**

Chapter 28

Introductions

I stared, transfixed, as Bella and Renesmee took each other in for the first time since both of their births. I wished I could see into Bella's mind, to see what her thoughts were in this moment, but I could see the same sentiment reflected on her face in the expression and thoughts of our daughter. Both were in complete awe and adoration of one another.

I was so focused on the emotion of the moment that it wasn't until I heard the alarmed thoughts of my family that I realized what was happening. Barely a fraction of a second had passed before I responded to the potential danger and firmly gripped Bella's arms to anchor her in place.

_Not a chance._

_ Oh, please watch her. She would never forgive herself if something happened._

_ Calm…careful._

_ Will you stop overreacting? She's fine._

Emmett and Jasper stood side by side, creating a barrier between Bella and the baby. Rosalie and Jacob had moved nearer to the door with Renesmee. Everyone in the room had instantly responded to Bella's movement as though it were a threat, myself included. But even as I held her in place, she didn't resist, didn't struggle like a newborn tempted by human blood would. The only person who hadn't moved was Alice, who stood with her arms crossed and a look of annoyance on her face.

"Oh, give her some credit," she scolded. "She wasn't going to do anything. You'd want a closer look, too."

She arched her eyebrow, daring us to refute her. Renesmee struggled anxiously in Rosalie's arms, reaching out for her mother. Bella was frozen in place, yet surprisingly relaxed. I could feel the rise and fall of her muscles as she breathed in the scents of the room without even the slightest hint of aggression.

"I'm okay," she whispered, reaching up to pat my hand. "Keep close, though, just in case."

_She's remarkably calm. So unusual for a newborn…_

I loosened my grip, now knowing that the perceived threat was truly no danger at all.

"Jazz, Em, let us through. Bella's got this."

Jasper's eyes narrowed. "Edward, the risk –" _I don't think she's ready for this._

"Minimal," I replied. "Listen, Jasper – on the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time…"

_Oh, no!_

_ Edward, how could you be so careless!_

_ The call of human blood is too strong for a newborn to resist – it's in their nature. It's to be expected._

Gasps of horror echoed through the room, their thoughts turning macabre at the thought of Bella attacking a human. Some were horrified, yet others seemed remarkably unaffected by the news, as though they had been anticipating it.

"Edward!" Carlisle reproved. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

I shook my head. "I know, Carlisle, I know. I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose."

Bella cringed, inching closer to me as the eyes of my family scrutinized her. "Edward," she whispered, clearly uneasy with the sudden attention.

I grinned, eager to share with our family the extraordinary gift that Bella seemed to have been born with. "He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella. I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that."

_Really, Edward?_ Alice rolled her eyes. "Tasteful joke, Edward."

I shook my head. "I wasn't making a joke. I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions."

Jasper inhaled a sharp breath. "Wait. She didn't hunt the humans?" _Impossible._

_She did what?_

_ Did I hear that right?_

"She started to," I paused, taking what could be considered far too much pleasure in the puzzled thoughts that filled the room. I could hear Bella's teeth clench, clearly not enjoying my penchant for elaborate story telling. "She was entirely focused on the hunt."

"What happened?" Carlisle exclaimed, leaning forward with anticipation.

I mirrored Carlisle's movements, leaning toward him for effect. "She heard me behind her and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped right out of it. I've never seen anything equal to her. She realized at once what was happening, and then…_she held her breath and ran away._"

_No way!_

_ That's unprecedented._

_ Impossible._

"Whoa," Emmett mumbled. "Seriously?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "He's not telling it right," she muttered, shuffling her feet. "He left out the part where I growled at him."

_That sounds interesting._ "Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?" Emmett teased.

"No! Of course not." Bella's expression was indignant.

_Oh, come on. _"No, not really? You really didn't attack him?"

"Emmett!" she groaned.

_Too bad._ "Aw, what a waste. And here you're probably the one person who could take him – since he can't get in your head to cheat – and you had a perfect excuse, too." He sighed. "I've been _dying_ to see how he'd do without that advantage."

"I would never," she exclaimed.

_How can she be so rational? It doesn't make sense. Emmett should know better than to antagonize her – any newborn would have attacked him for less. Why doesn't she?_

I looked over at Jasper and grinned, seeing his puzzled face. I tapped his shoulder lightly with my fist. "You see what I mean?"

_Unbelievable. _He shook his head. "It's not natural."

"She could have turned on you –" Esme reproved. " – she's only hours old!" She placed her hand over her heart and reached for Carlisle's hand with the other. "Oh, we should have gone with you." _I couldn't bear it if anything happened to either of you – think about your daughter._

Carlisle patted her hand reassuringly. "Although a clear error in judgment, it all seems to have turned out." _Though her reaction was remarkable – quite astounding. I wonder what could have caused it. Her preparation perhaps?_

I shrugged, answering Carlisle's silent query. We had no idea yet what Bella might be capable of or how she obtained such a level of control as a newborn. Perhaps we would never know the true cause, though I could foresee many debates regarding the subject in the near future.

"Edward," Bella implored, breaking me from my reverie. She was leaning around Jasper, trying to catch a better glimpse of Renesmee. "Please?"

Jasper's jaw clenched and he remained steady. _It's too risky. We can't allow…_

"Jazz, this isn't anything you've seen before," Alice whispered. "Trust me." _She's not like the others._

He turned to look at her, his eyes filled with turmoil as he struggled with the desire to believe Alice while everything he knew in his history with newborns warned him not to. After a brief moment, he reluctantly nodded and moved to the side.

Bella took a step forward and Jasper placed a light hand on her shoulder, moving along with her. Even with Alice's reassurances, he still wanted to be prepared should something go wrong. We moved slowly across the room, blanketed in the aura of calm that Jasper was emitting. I wasn't certain if Bella was unsure of her ability or if it was the concern radiating from everyone else in the room that cautioned her to take things slowly. Renesmee struggled in Rosalie's arms and I could hear the frustration in her thoughts.

Without warning, a high-pitched wail filled the room as Renesmee began to cry, the building aggravation culminating in a piercing crescendo of anguish. Instinctively, I moved toward her, as did everyone else. I reached for her cheek, peering into her eyes for any signs of pain, though I already knew the cause of her distress. Rosalie patted her back soothingly, shushing her cries. Carlisle and Esme hovered like doting grandparents.

_What's going on? Is she okay? _"What's the matter?" Jacob fretted. "Is she hurt? What happened?" His eyes scanned her, searching for the cause of her wails. He reached for Renesmee and Rosalie handed her to him.

"No, she's fine," Rosalie assured him, stifling the urge to roll her eyes. _Every cry isn't cause to sound the alarm._ She gestured to Renesmee who was once again reaching toward Bella. "See? She just wants Bella."

"She wants me?" Bella whispered. I turned around, surprised to see her still standing frozen in the spot where I had left her. She hadn't moved an inch. She looked confused and concerned and I chastised myself for leaving her side. I returned to her, placing my hands on her arms, and gently urged her forward.

"She's been waiting for you for almost three days," I whispered in her ear.

The room collectively held their breath while they watched Bella and Renesmee prepare to meet for the first time. Jacob was noticeably anxious and I wondered if he might try to take Renesmee and make a run for it – not that he would get very far. He was fortunate enough that he could still stand on two legs.

Bella must have noticed as well. "Jake – I'm fine," she reassured him.

_This is a bad idea_, he thought, frowning at Bella's confidence.

Renesmee squirmed, continually reaching for Bella as they slowly inched closer together. Bella stared at her for several beats and I once again found myself struggling with the frustration that came from my lack of insight into her mind. I would have given anything to hear her thoughts in this moment. Though of one thing I could be sure – it was a moment we would both never forget, preserved perfectly in our eternal memories.

Bella reached over the final short distance and took Renesmee in her arms, cradling her against her. I fought the urge to growl at Jacob who was so reluctant to relinquish Renesmee to her mother that he maintained his grip on her, ready to take her back if the supposed danger presented itself.

I could hear the contentedness radiating in Renesmee's thoughts as she smiled up at Bella. I tensed as I saw her tiny hand reaching up toward Bella's face. Seeing her intentions, I tightened my grip on Bella's arms and braced myself for her reaction to our daughter's unique ability – that is, if she could see anything at all that she tried to show her.

Though I could not see into Bella's mind, I could see the images that Renesmee was trying to show her. It seemed like a century ago that she caught her first glimpse of her mother just after her birth. How could only three days have passed? The waiting, the uncertainty about her transition, it felt like an eternity to me. But in this moment, our daughter was trying to connect with her mother in the only way that she knew how – by showing her the first memories of her that she had.

"What…was…_that_?" Bella stammered.

I was briefly taken aback. If Bella had seen what Renesmee intended to show her, then it would be the first time someone had been able to reach into Bella's mind. What did that say about our daughter's unique ability?

"What did you see?' Rosalie asked. "What did she show you?"

Bella looked puzzled. "_She_ showed me that?"

"I told you it was hard to explain," I whispered. "But effective as means of communications go."

_Well… _"What was it?" Jacob asked.

Everyone in the room seemed to lean in, waiting to hear Bella's answer.

"Um. Me. I think," she managed. "But I looked terrible."

"It was the only memory she had of you," I explained. "She's letting you know that she's made the connection, that she knows who you are."

"But _how_ did she do that?"

I shrugged. "How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future? She's gifted."

_Fascinating._ "It's an interesting twist," Carlisle mused. "Like she's doing the exact opposite of what you can."

"Interesting." I nodded. "I wonder…" My mind began to wander as I pondered Carlisle's comment. Renesmee was, essentially, doing the opposite of what I could, but where I could listen to the thoughts in the minds of others, she put her own thoughts into their minds. The puzzling aspect was the fact that Bella could see the images she was shown. Since I could not read her thoughts and she seemed to be immune to others, like Aro and Jane, then how was it that our daughter's ability was able to penetrate her mind? Perhaps she had an ability akin to Jasper's where something she did caused an actual physical change in Bella's body rather than just in her mind.

Bella always joked that her mind ran on a different frequency than everyone else around her. Conceivably because Renesmee is Bella's daughter, her mind too runs on that frequency. Though if that were true, I would be unable to hear her thoughts as well – and that certainly wasn't the case.

I continued to puzzle, listening to Carlisle's thoughts on the matter as well. He was speculating on the genetic probabilities, on the possible chromosomal combinations that resulted in Renesmee's exceptional ability. And the thought occurred to me that if my ability was reflected in our daughter, then perhaps an aspect of Bella's mind was reflected as well. If Bella had the ability to keep everyone out of her mind, the opposite of that ability would be that Renesmee would be able to access every mind. _Fascinating_, I thought, echoing Carlisle's sentiment.

"I remember you, too," I heard Bella whisper. I turned to see her pressing her lips lightly to the baby's forehead.

Jasper held his breath. _Careful. Calm._

_ Not a good idea. That's like an alcoholic kissing a bottle of whiskey. _Jacob shifted his weight uneasily.

"She's fine," Alice murmured. _They really need to calm down. Bella won't hurt her._

"Haven't we experimented enough for one day?" Jacob asked nervously. "Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it."

_Watch it, dog._

_ He better not push her. _

I saw a look of irritation flash in Bella's eyes as she looked up to glare at Jacob. I could already see the wheels turning in her mind as her eyes narrowed. Jacob should have known better than to say anything. I could see the anxious glances exchanged by my family as we all knew the truth of Jacob's imprinting would come to light very soon.

"What is your _problem_, Jacob?" Bella growled, pulling slightly on Renesmee so that Jacob, who was still holding on to her, was drawn closer.

Bella studied his face as he stood nervously next to her.

"Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob. Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her," I warned.

"I'll help him toss you, dog," Rosalie added. "I owe you a good kick in the gut."

Jacob winced under Bella's scrutiny, but didn't budge. He maintained his hold on Renesmee. The room was silent for several heartbeats, so quiet that you could almost hear the puzzle pieces clicking into place in Bella's head. Then all at once, she gasped. "_No_!"

_Uh-oh, here we go._

_ This should be good._

I wrapped my arms tightly around Bella to restrain her and, in her shock, she released her grip on Renesmee just enough for Jacob to take her in his arms and step several paces back. Jasper edged closer to us, enveloping us in waves of calm. I could feel Bella standing rigid in my arms – it would take a lot more than Jasper's ability to defuse this situation.

"Rose," Bella spoke through gritted teeth. "Take Renesmee."

_Oh no…_

Rosalie reached over and took Renesmee in her arms with no resistance from Jacob. They both took a step back. Rosalie stood behind Jacob with a slight smirk curving on her lips.

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me."

I hesitated, briefly debating whether or not I should comply. On one hand, I had been waiting for this moment since the second I realized Jacob had imprinted on our daughter. Yet, on the other hand, although Bella was upset in this moment, she might regret harming her friend and I would hate to be to blame for letting her.

_Better let her get it out of her system, bro. It was bound to happen sooner or later._

_ Oh, Edward, don't let her hurt him._

She must have sensed my dilemma. "Go stand in front of Renesmee," she suggested.

I dithered for a moment more before succumbing to her wishes and letting her go. Rosalie took several more steps back and I moved to stand in front of her. Bella crouched down and everyone took a decisive step backward, except for Jacob. He seemed to be frozen in place by the ferocity of her glare.

_Oh man, he's gonna get it now! Looks like I'm gonna win this bet._

_ I knew she wouldn't react well to this._

"You didn't," she growled, taking several slow steps forward like she was stalking her prey.

_I couldn't help it! _He backed up, raising his palms in a defensive posture. "You know it's not something I can control," he reasoned.

Bella's eyes blazed. "You _stupid mutt_! How _could_ you? _My baby!_"

Jacob stumbled backward through the front door and down the stairs, but Bella matched his every move. She wasn't going to let him get away. "It wasn't my idea, Bella!" he pleaded. _Please, Bella. It was out of my control. I didn't choose it._

"I've held her all of _one_ time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim on her? She's _mine._"

"I can share," he offered as he backed away to the edge of the lawn.

"Pay up," Emmett snickered, glancing over at Alice. _She's gonna rip him a new one._

Alice rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. I chucked to myself, realizing that this, perhaps, was the first time someone had bet against Alice and won. Granted, she only made the bet because she wanted the chance to participate in a wager where she truly couldn't predict the outcome, but its significance still wasn't lost on me.

"How dare you _imprint_ on _my_ baby? Have you lost your mind?" Bella shrieked.

Jacob continued to back away from Bella until his was pinned against the trees, his options for escape drastically dwindling. "It was involuntary!" he insisted. _I had no idea! She can't think I chose this._

_Uh, oh…_

_ Oh no, not on my watch._

Seth and Leah came through the trees on either side of Jacob. Seth whined and Leah's muzzle pulled back in a growl before she snapped her teeth in warning. I took a step forward, preparing to intercede if necessary, though it didn't look as though Bella would need any help from me.

Bella snarled at Leah and took another menacing step forward.

"Bella, would you try to listen for just a second?" Jacob pleaded. "Please?" _Please, Bella._

Leah growled quietly. "Leah, back off." _You're only making things worse._

_ Do you see the way she's looking at you? The last thing you need is for me to back off._

"Why should I listen?" Bella hissed.

Jacob's eyes widened for a brief moment while he searched for the right words. "Because you're the one who told me this," he began. "Do you remember? You said we belonged in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So…now we are. It's what you wanted."

Jacob was correct in one aspect, but there was a vast separation between what was happening now and what Bella had meant at the time she said those words. I had the sinking feeling that turning her words around like that would only serve to infuriate her further.

"You think you'll be part of my family as my _son-in-law_!" she shrieked.

_Bad move, dog. _

_ That was probably not the best tactic to use._

_ Bella, that's not what I meant. It's not like that. _

Emmett let out a hearty laugh and even Rosalie chuckled a bit under her breath. For the most part, the thoughts of my family were a mixture of amusement and concern. Though I thoroughly enjoyed watching Jacob finally squirm under Bella's furious glare, I was apprehensive about exactly how far she might take this.

"Stop her, Edward," Esme murmured. "She'll be unhappy if she hurts him."

Jasper edged forward, preparing for the possibility of a fight. I held my palm up to caution him – we needed to be ready to intervene, but didn't want Seth or Leah to see his advance as a possible threat.

Jacob looked at Bella with wide eyes. _I didn't mean it like that!_ "No! How can you even look at it that way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!" _It's not like that. I'm a protector, a brother, not a…_

"That's my _point_!" Bella yelled.

"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did?" He gestured to me, shooting me a worried glance. _Come on, back me up here. You know it's true – you can read my thoughts. _ "All I want is for her to be safe and happy – is that so bad? So different from what you want?" I had heard this argument before in his mind, though he seemed more afraid of Bella's reaction to the news than he was with mine.

Bella growled loudly, undeterred by his appeals, though I was surprised that she had been able to maintain her composure thus far. Any other newborn placed into a similar situation would have attacked without thought, without taking the time to listen to Jacob's argument.

"Amazing, isn't she?" I murmured to Carlisle.

_Amazing._ "She hasn't gone for his throat even once," Carlisle agreed. _Simply fascinating._

"Fine, you win this one," Emmett groaned, realizing that perhaps Alice had won the bet after all.

"You're going to stay away from her," Bella hissed.

_What? No…I can't._ "I can't do that!" Jacob pleaded.

"_Try_," she seethed. "Starting _now_." She took another threatening step forward, leaning into a crouch to emphasize the severity of her demand.

"It's not possible." Jacob paused, collecting his thoughts. _How can I make her understand? She has to understand._ "Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it?"

She glared back at him, either answering with her silence or confused as to where this train of thought would lead. Though, it seemed relatively clear that she had no qualms about sending him away now.

"That was her," he explained, pointing back to the house where Renesmee squirmed in Rosalie's arms, a forlorn look in his eyes. "From the very beginning. We had to be together, even then." _She was drawing me to you. I just didn't understand before. But it all makes sense now…_

The idea was intriguing. Though the imprint manifested itself after Renesmee's birth, the idea that it was the driving force behind his infatuation with Bella did seem to make some sense. I had fought hard to win Bella's heart and it certainly eased my mind a bit to know that there were supernatural forces urging Bella and Jacob together that were outside of my control. If we had known then what we know now, then we could have all saved each other a multitude of unnecessary heartache.

Bella straightened a bit while she mulled over Jacob's words, but the reprieve from her anger was short lived. Her body trembled as she growled again.

"Run away while you still can," she threatened.

"C'mon, Bells!" he pleaded. "Nessie likes me, too."

Bella froze in place.

_Oh no._

_ Now he's done it._

_ I told him she wouldn't like that nickname._

The silence was deafening as we waited for Bella to react. Jacob's eyes grew wider with each passing second; the only sound was the increasing tempo of his pounding heart.

"_What_...did you call her?" Bella spoke slowly, her voice livid.

Jacob shrunk back, taking a step backward. "Well," he mumbled, "that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and – "

"You nicknamed my daughter after the _Loch Ness Monster_?" she screamed.

The movement was so quick, a human's eyes wouldn't have seen the change until it was too late. Bella shrieked as she sprung forward, gnashing her teeth as she lunged for Jacob. He brought his hands up, trying to keep her at arm's length, her teeth nearly grazing the exposed skin of his forearm. The force of the contact sent him flying backward.

He scrambled to his feet and she lunged for him again, sending him father into the trees. "Bella, please," he begged. _Be reasonable! Edward, I could use a little help here._

I had to admit, I was enjoying the display a little more than I should. After all, she was doing exactly what I had wanted to do to Jacob more times than I could count.

_Edward, do something_, Esme pleaded.

_Bella will be unhappy later if she hurts him,_ Carlisle offered.

Seth and Leah flanked him on either side, growling at Bella's display. Leah was furious and Seth was concerned, though slightly amused as well. Jacob held his hands up, urging them to stay out of it.

_Just say the word, Jacob…let me at her!_

_ Bella, please be reasonable. I know you're upset and I don't want to hurt you._

Bella circled menacingly and I was surprised that Jacob was still in his human form. If it had been any other vampire attacking him, he wouldn't have hesitated to shift into his wolf form. Perhaps he had enough presence of mind to know that phasing would only serve to anger her further.

Jacob stumbled backward, struggling to maintain his balance, as she slowly stalked him. I could feel the fury radiating off of her in waves through Jasper's ability. It seemed that the level of her emotions was somewhat negating the calm that he was trying to desperately to exude.

"Bella, please. Let's be reasonable. Let's just talk about this," Jacob pleaded, holding up his hands.

She ignored his plea and growled, baring her teeth. She lunged again, but this time, Seth jumped in front of Jacob. I could hear the unmistakable sound of crunching bones as her fists made contact with Seth's shoulder, sending him into a nearby tree. Jacob stared in shock. Leah growled furiously and would have attacked Bella herself if she weren't severely outnumbered.

We all watched in horror as Seth slumped to the ground in a furry heap, a soft whimper emanating from his muzzle. Jacob and Leah both rushed to his side. Carlisle was already there, leaning over Seth to examine the injury.

Jasper flew to Bella's side, ready to restrain her if necessary. Though, it didn't seem that his intercession would be required after all. The change in Bella's demeanor was instantaneous. She took a stumbling step backward as her hands flew to her mouth, gasping in horror at what she had done.

**A/N: I hope everyone has had a wonderful summer. If you're still reading, thank you so much for sticking around. As I've said before, it may sometimes take a while for me to finish a chapter and update, but I'll keep going until the story is finished.**

**Thanks to Nellybear85 and misticbutterfly who are an endless source of encouragement and support. And thanks also to all of you who have checked up on me – it really means a lot.**


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